:) I have to talk about this, and I do believe that someone with adhd reading this can hopefully understand what I'm going through and give me advice on this! (Please Read, this is ruining my social life)!!

Okay, I feel like I have the hardest time keeping up with other people's demands!
I do believe that my adhd has something to do with it, but I'm not totally sure.

For example: I've kind of allways had problems making friends, but even when I try my best to keep up with their demands as far as maybe wanting to go to the mall or go anywhere with them, I sometimes won't go because I'll get severly distracted and feeling overwhelmed by incoming stimuli.
I can tell that they get frustrated with me and at times I've even lost friends because of it. Even when I try to explain to them the reason why its like and how my adhd is contributing to it, that they say they understand but I can tell how they treat me later that they really didn't get it.

I also get bored quickly which is something that us (adder's) can understand. So when my friend's or anyone for that matter (family or whoever) wants me to go somewhere that I know will be torture for me but not necessarily for them, they don't get why I don't want to go, even though they do.

I don't want to lose anymore friends or family that I have now or will get in the future, so how can I adequately have people to understand my limitations and still want to be around me or be my friend and let them know it doesn't have anything to do with them perse but how I am and what I do is just an effort to keep me calm and not feeling overwhelmed!
:o :o
I just feel like it takes so much energy out of me just to keep up with simple demands of anyone. I guess it's because of the low frustration tolerance that ADHD people have but how do I deal with that and still get along with others?

Yolanda

The way I see it friendships are a two way street. If the mall is too overwhelming for you maybe your friends should make an effort at meeting you in other, calmer places instead of just expecting you to do what they want to do.

You're using the word demands. Do you feel like your friends have a lot of demands on how they think you should act, etc.?

:) I have to talk about this, and I do believe that someone with adhd reading this can hopefully understand what I'm going through and give me advice on this! (Please Read, this is ruining my social life)!!

Okay, I feel like I have the hardest time keeping up with other people's demands!
I do believe that my adhd has something to do with it, but I'm not totally sure.

For example: I've kind of allways had problems making friends, but even when I try my best to keep up with their demands as far as maybe wanting to go to the mall or go anywhere with them, I sometimes won't go because I'll get severly distracted and feeling overwhelmed by incoming stimuli.
I can tell that they get frustrated with me and at times I've even lost friends because of it. Even when I try to explain to them the reason why its like and how my adhd is contributing to it, that they say they understand but I can tell how they treat me later that they really didn't get it.

I also get bored quickly which is something that us (adder's) can understand. So when my friend's or anyone for that matter (family or whoever) wants me to go somewhere that I know will be torture for me but not necessarily for them, they don't get why I don't want to go, even though they do.

I don't want to lose anymore friends or family that I have now or will get in the future, so how can I adequately have people to understand my limitations and still want to be around me or be my friend and let them know it doesn't have anything to do with them perse but how I am and what I do is just an effort to keep me calm and not feeling overwhelmed!
:o :o
I just feel like it takes so much energy out of me just to keep up with simple demands of anyone. I guess it's because of the low frustration tolerance that ADHD people have but how do I deal with that and still get along with others?

Yolanda I have the opposite trouble...I move too quick, I talk too quick, I have trouble keeping people as friends as I make them dizzy..it's fine if I only see friends every few weeks...we all talk sooo much that no-one notices me..

I wish I knew how to have friends that just pop in and out ... sigh..good luck..

this happens to me alot! I WANT to have friends...but I can't force myself to keep up with them...I mean i'm only 25...but i feel so overwhelmed with the THOUGHT of maintaining friendships. I often get seen as being SHADY or Stuck up...its just that i'm in my own world...whether i'm with ppl or not...I want to change this...but just can't:confused:

Yolanda -

I just have to say, I am LOVIN' your questions and comments, etc. You definitely have LOTS of them, but I can't say that we don't share those same questions. I guess I'm just too lazy and not motivated enough to ask all of them. (Could be my age - 40. I've kinda stopped caring. :o )


so how can I adequately have people to understand my limitations and still want to be around me or be my friend

Well, I'm sure you KNOW that you really have NO CONTROL over other peoples' feelings and reactions. BUT . . .

and let them know it doesn't have anything to do with them perse but how I am and what I do is just an effort to keep me calm and not feeling overwhelmed!

if they complain or ask you WHY you don't want to __________ (go to mall, etc.) - telling them the truth, just what you wrote (above), should be the only thing you should feel you HAVE to tell them. If they don't accept that, that is THEIR problem, NOT YOURS!

Let me tell ya, Yolanda, as you become more aware of and loving, forgiving and accepting of yourself (which is something most of us will struggle with our entire lives . . . but it gets BETTER as each decade passes) - you will be less concerned about whether or not others are accepting you, liking you, etc.

That's just my messed-up 2 cents! But keep posting here. You are just absolutely precious, and I want to see your progress as you start feeling more comfortable and satisfied with your life! You've got such a wonderfully energetic spirit that will serve you VERY WELL (especially once you get a few of these frustrations and roadblocks resolved).

All the best,
Sue