I am returning to college after taking a break for years. I had a very hard time going to the learning assistence center. I almost cried. A grown man almost crying in front of someone who has never met me.

The memories it brought up were horrible. I had such a hard time in grade school. The special education teacher would come to the class room and ask for me out loud to follow her.

All my peers knew where I was going. They would put me in rooms with other extremely retarded people. God bless them, but I was not retarded. I actually began to think maybe they were right.

I have resisted help of any kind from even the kindest of people for the best part of my life. Self confidence was crushed and has shaped my thinking and personality.

Not all of it for the better either. Now I have to forgive myself for being the way I am. I was made the way I am for no bad reason. There has to be a place for me. Somewhere I shine.

It is not always easy to break old patterns of thinking. They took years to form and will probably take years to retrain.

How have you people done it? Or have you?

I have this greatness in me that has been masked for many years. I am due for it to appear again as it did way back before I knew I was differant.

I hated school, but know I am going back. The world does not offer many high paying jobs that allow you to experiment and figure up how to do them hands-on. They only see education.

Forgiving oneself after a diagnosis is mentioned in the ADHD literature. It took me a few years, perhaps because I wasn't diagnosed until late in life, to feel comfortable with the "new" me. I researched ADHD for more than a year before I sought an appointment to see a specialist and that knowledge base made easier to forgive myself.

I loved school or rather, learning, in spite of the abuse I received as a young child by some teachers in the days when corporal punishment was the rule. I don't have the added burden of any learning disabilities.

I married a man who loved / loves me for the way I am; he loves me even more on meds. :D We were financially able to allow me to be a stay at home mom to my very ADHD children so that helped me be successful as a parent; it would have been a lot easier and a lot more fun on meds. Because of volunteer work, before my diagnosis and treatment, I discovered a job that embraces my ADHD as a positive, not a negative and meds have meant I don' t have to put in the same amount of effort to do well the same job.

I envy you going back to school. I was a much better student at forty than I was at 19. Who knows, I might be one of those people who earn a degree after they are sixty-five when they have the time.

I found what I was passionate about. Finding something (a theme or cause) greater than ourselves can seriously help to motivate us past many obstacles.

I found what I was passionate about. Finding something (a theme or cause) greater than ourselves can seriously help to motivate us past many obstacles.
I do have a philosophy that I live by, for the most part. I do also believe that I wouldn't just be here for no good reason.

I am working with the learning center and tudors and trying as many things that I can think of to help myself to succeed. It's the shotgun approach. I've used this in the past and ususlly one will work for me.

Thanks for the kind advice.

Think of it in this way, you are now an adult, and we still have to learn to let go from the things in our childhood that have haunted us, believe me I understand, I have one of those memories that has haunted me and it has to do with math.


Do you talk to a therapist at all, it might be helpful to vent out your concerns and get feedback from a professional. I have done this throughout my life on an on and off basis. It is really helping to maintain a stable stress level.


Let us know how things are progressing.