I know I can be kind of hard to get along with. Maybe due to ADHD, maybe not, really don't care.

This might have been a stupid thread to start but I just had to start it.
I want to people to respond as to what an ideal support person would be in their lives.

This is going to be short, but here it goes.

Even with all the forum topics, which are very insightfull.
I just from time to time need somone to just listen to me, whether it's about ADD or about anything. I just want someone I can fully give myself to, to not give judgement related to my disorder, but just be there when I need to vent.
To just be there when I need someone to yell at to release my anger, to complain to about the struggles I go through, to just listen and not get angry.

Even with all the treatment in the world for ADHD, everyone needs someone to understand them whole heartedly, I don't have that, but maybe I will one day. I've kind of given up on my family to lean on, so maybe God will blow someone my way to get my mind off my disorder for a while.

These forums are nice, but nothing beats the real thing, a genuine support person or boyfriend, special friend, etc.

This sounds like a soap opera, but who cares.

I just wanted to express my emotional side for a bit. I guess I'll go back to a different thread topic, I'm getting sad now!!

Yolanda

This forum is an idea support system for you but I understand where you're coming from when you say you want that real support person like a good partner, friend or family member.

Selena

I know I can be kind of hard to get along with. Maybe due to ADHD, maybe not, really don't care.

This might have been a stupid thread to start but I just had to start it.
I want to people to respond as to what an ideal support person would be in their lives.

This is going to be short, but here it goes.

Even with all the forum topics, which are very insightfull.
I just from time to time need somone to just listen to me, whether it's about ADD or about anything. I just want someone I can fully give myself to, to not give judgement related to my disorder, but just be there when I need to vent.
To just be there when I need someone to yell at to release my anger, to complain to about the struggles I go through, to just listen and not get angry.

Even with all the treatment in the world for ADHD, everyone needs someone to understand them whole heartedly, I don't have that, but maybe I will one day. I've kind of given up on my family to lean on, so maybe God will blow someone my way to get my mind off my disorder for a while.

These forums are nice, but nothing beats the real thing, a genuine support person or boyfriend, special friend, etc.

This sounds like a soap opera, but who cares.

I just wanted to express my emotional side for a bit. I guess I'll go back to a different thread topic, I'm getting sad now!!

Yolandayolanda, maybe you could start your own diary..there you can vent away, and we can read and understand how you feel, but we can't reply...:p that is helpful when we tend to skip all over the joint from conversation to conversation :faint:

Yolanda, I get what you are saying--having ADD can feel like a lonely barren place in the middle of a huge crowd.
Online forums and support groups almost do the job sometimes but for some people they don't replace having face to face interaction.
Therapy with a shrink can do a lot of good but it still doesn't fill that void of actually connecting with someone who REALLY GETS IT.

You might want to see if there is a local ADD/ADHD support group in your area...how about at the college?

In the meantime--keep venting your feelings here...and if you just want to vent and not get advice from dolts like me just announce that you are venting and don't want advice. :)

Hi Yolanda...

I understand. This site is great for support, and a good place to make new friends that understand you.

Best of Luck.

P.S. How about trying out some of the local support groups near your town, good for face to face interaction.

. . . and the support group doesn't have to be an ADHD one, either. Yolanda, regardless of ADHD, everyone needs the support you are talking about. It's not all about ADHD and the sooner we are able to understand what is ADHD and what is just being human, the sooner you will feel better about your life. Are you near a teaching hospital that might provide services for free?

That's a good idea about going to a support group for ADD/ADHD people, escpecially women, seeing as women are more sensitive than men to begin with. And then having the sensitivity issues that corresond with ADHD to compound the other issues that go on everyday, can be difficult to handle alone.
I decided to call my mother today to tell her that for some reason I'm particularly moody and thinks it's because of the medication I'm on, because it said for the first few weeks or so, your mood might change. Well, I called my mother and got very angry at her for no reason two days ago. I called her back to apoplozize and told her if it happens again to please not take it very seriously because I probably didn't mean to and to just bear with me.
Thinking that I could talk things out with her and tell her how I felt would maybe allow me to allow her to be my support person. But that didn't happen, she got mad and told me how she's doing her best for me, how she's tired,how she has her own problems and how frustrated she is with life, and so on and so forth.:confused:
I felt like, if I can't even talk to my own mother concerning some of the issues I'm having, then who can I talk to. :(
It's as if people think I want some sort of pity, or they think I want them to feel sorry for me, especially when they act like what I'm saying is a waste of time to them. I just feel like why even mention it all, nobody cares. But then if I don't get it out somehow, it'll just eat me up inside.

I really was upset at my mom, I started crying, I thought she was someone I could communicate with, I guess I was wrong.
Maybe a support group won't be as judgemental, I don't know, but I guess that's a start.

Yolanda

Also in a support group people would be able to relate to you when you talk about things like how ADHD affects you or getting adjusted to a new med.

I can understand you were dissapointed by your mother getting angry when you were apologizing and trying to explain why you behaved like you did. Maybe she needs some more time to get over her own anger at you lashing out at her.

She might not be able to leave her own feelings out of it enough to support you in the way you talked about in your first post. I wish your family would at least try to understand you better, but I think that it might be difficult for them to leave their feelings by the wayside and listen to you when you need someone to without getting emotional themselves (angry, feeling critisized, worried, etc.)

I came from a family of 10 kids. I have very little faith in family members being capable of being anything close to support.

If you had some type of close relationship with your family I could see them listening and trying to comfort you but there's just too much baggage that goes with the relationship. They learned a long time ago, when they were very young, to judge you. IMO you'd be better off getting support from a total stranger. I guess that's why I thought the local support group might be a place to hang out and work things out.

Come to think of it--I'd rather hang out with a support group for terminally ill people than with my family--but that's another story that needs to be told over at least 37 one hour sessions. :rolleyes:

Oh yeah, Yolanda, I also just had this flash about your Nursing exam.
Maybe you could find some local doctor's office that would do a barter/trade with you. You do volunteer grunt work for them that the nurses hate and the nurses help you study for your exam. If you want someone to help you pass a test--it's always best to work with someone who already has passed it and lives what they learned.

I know I can be kind of hard to get along with. Maybe due to ADHD, maybe not, really don't care.
what things do you do that make it hard for you to get along with people? If you know what you do, maybe we can help from there..

Well, as far getting along with others, it's not that I don't get along with anyone, it's just that some of the people in my life I feel I should be closer to, I'm not.

For instance, one thing I do know about myself, is that I can be very sensitive to what others say or how they act towards me. I read something about adhd people being more emotionally sensitive than the average person. So I'm thinking that maybe I might take what someone saids to me as though they were trying to be insensitive, sometimes I'm right about them, but other times I'm not, and this makes them not want to talk to me for fear of maybe not wanting to deal with the fact that I'm overly sensitve.

When I talk to people I also have to prove my point or get my point across especially if I believe I'm right or if it's something that needs to be said. Well, some of the people I've encountered just want me to agree with them and I won't. Not that I wouldn't agree with them ever, but if I strongly believe something else, then I will not back down on what I believe, I don't really care how they take it. I believe they think talking to me will start an argument or something, I don't know. But I just can't stand it when a person doesn't even want to consider what I'm telling them, it just upsets me. But then they'll wonder why I decided to stop talking to them. I'm trying to prevent myself from being too stressed out.

Bottom line: I just need more people to accept me for me, not saying that I have to change, or that they have to change, it's just that I think I get the 3rd degree for being who I am, instead of others accepting me for how I am.It's like, I will see someone else who I believe has a bad attitude, but even with that attitude people still respect them for who they are, in my case, I just get the feeling like I can't even express who I am, without any judgement, or feeling I was the one in the wrong. I just don't get that from anyone. I wish people could look at me and say, "Well that's just how Yolanda is" instead of wanting me to fit their profile which wouldn't do me any good.
And why can't they just understand after I've explained to them that being moody, especially right now while I'm going through the "just trying to find the right medication stage", to let me be able to express what I'm going through because this is a difficult time for me, things I'm going through such as "Not knowing what to do, not knowing what to say, not knowing how to act, can't seem to please anyone, can't get the right medication, can't focus, can't concentrate, feeling irritable" all of these combined can just really send anyone into an emotional roller coster.

I'm just trying to get others to understand that, but they don't

Yolanda

(((Hug)))

I think some people will never understand. They've never been there themselves and they can't imagine what it's like.

My best friend is great, but ADHD -- well she doesn't understand it (even though she tries) so I don't talk much about my ADHD related struggles to her.

Maybe you need to find some people you can really be yourself with, that gets your sensitivity better and can handle it without removing themselves from you totally.

When you say you don't back down from your point of view in what kind of situations is that?

(((Hug)))

Maybe you need to find some people you can really be yourself with, that gets your sensitivity better and can handle it without removing themselves from you totally.

When you say you don't back down from your point of view in what kind of situations is that?
When I say "I don't back down from my point of view", I'm talking about situations that people thought that no matter what I said, they just weren't going to take me seriously or believe me. Even if agreeing with them would make things better, I refuse to do it, especially if I have proof for what I'm saying.

For example: This isn't necessarily related to a friend per se, but this is what I mean by "not backing down on my point of view":

When I went to one of my past Doctor's concerning ADHD, he was refusing to believe I even had it, and kept telling me I was bipolar. Now, I'm no medical doctor, but looking at the symptoms of bipolar disorder, I know I didn't fit this category.
It just seemed to me that everything out of his month, was trying to go against what I was saying, even if I had proof of what I knew concerning ADHD. One day I told him I get irritable alot, he said that irritability does not go along with ADHD, but I had books and articles that said otherwise.He still refused to listen to me.
In that moment, I just felt so disrespected, and he thought that just because he was my Doctor at the time, I was suppose to just shut-up and listen to him. Never mind what I thought.

Ever since then, especially when what I knew about me was right in the first place and I was correct about my diagnosis, I promised myself never to let anybody just disregard what I'm saying, and that what I have to say is important to me, and they should take seriously regarding what I have to say, instead of just disregarding it.

I guess you can say, it's more of "me needing people to respect me and taking me seriously", rather than "not backing down from my point of view"

I think that's a better way to put it.

Yolanda

I so know where you're coming from!

During my ADHD evaluation the psychiatrist had misunderstood me quite a bit. When I tried to correct her on this I got told I was "very stubborn".

I so know where you're coming from!

During my ADHD evaluation the psychiatrist had misunderstood me quite a bit. When I tried to correct her on this I got told I was "very stubborn".
Doctor's can be great, but sometimes, don't ya just want to choke them.

What my psych Doc said and what Clear Confusion's Doc said, is just unbelievable, It's as if we walk into their presence and we are inferior to them and we should just shut up.
As if God gave us a mouth to speak for nothing.

I mean don't get me wrong, but aren't psychiatrists suppose to listen to patients, didn't they learn this in medical school. God forbide anyone question them, they think their all knowing or something. Well, they only see us for an hour, how can they know how we are the other 23 hours of the day without us(the patient) telling them. What's up with that!!

Personally, I can't stand psychiatrists. All they are good for is to prescribe meds (which is necessary sometimes). I found therapists to be much more effective... Especially a good one. It took me a long time to find one, but I finally did. It is my relationship therapist that me and my bf go to.

Through the therapy my boyfriend has become a much better support system than ever before. I also am now able to look at myself and actions and think before I react. Less foot-in-mouth situations have happened.

I do agree with everyone about a support group, but if that isn't available in your area then I would suggest at least therapy. The relief I get from therapy is phenomenal.

good luck!

To be fair to my doc she did eventually listen. It still vexed me though that she would take my "stubborness" as she called it as credit for that I might have Asperger which she based on some things she had misunderstood when speaking to myself and my parents.

Yolanda, have you been able to find a better doctor since then?