Hi All,

I recently returned to graduate school and just suffered through my second paper. The first one was turned in late (of course), but I was pretty happy with the results. This last one was severely late, and was unfortunately an embarrassment for someone who is supposed to be capable of performing at a graduate level. Can any one offer some advice that might help avoid the mass amounts of procrastination and disorganization that I am prone to? Short of lashing myself to my desk, I don't know what to do. I'm up and about, checking email, worrying about what a lousy job I'm going to do, etc. Also, does anyone out there have any tips on how to deal with the 'I can't do this, so I might not as well bother' mentality? I have a language barrier to contend with down at the counseling office, so I'm a bit on my own here.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Cheers...

I wish I had a magic wand and take care of your and my problems. I am in grad school also. I started with a small load of credits. I still had trouble turning papers in. Starting them is almost funny. I get anxious and frustrated first. Organizing information is something like a joke. I get the full picture of how I should organize my paper, and how I should conclude it after I get it back from the professor. I don't get too bad grades, but I always get this recommendations from professors: You need to learn to be more concise, It looks like you needed more time to polish this up a bit, You could have elaborated a little bit more on the topic, Please read the instructions well, this isn't exactly what I asked for, Can you also include..... and .... as asked in the instructions....
And other stuff, but I seem to just not be able to get it right, you know? I feel that I am just getting the grades becasue my professors feel sorry for me. They all know I have a learning difference. I'm not good at following written instructions. I seem to remember somethings and other things I'm not good at, I don't re-read them, and I have this feeling of confidence that I know what I'm suppossed to do. Just like when I get lost on the road and I keep telling myself my intuition will tell me where to go, then I keep driving for a couple of hours until I decide I should ask. This has been a pattern ever since I was a child. I'd get lost walking. What to do about this? I am not sure. I've tried ritalin, effexor, wellbutrin and adderal without much success. I'll try a different med next. Maybe you might benefit from working with classmates, talking to some one of your ideas, talking to professors about your problem and getting suggestions from them. Getting more time to turn in your assigments. That may be provided as an accomodation through the Department of services for students with disabilities. Pay attention if you feel very proud and you'd rather do it all by yourself. That is another one of my patterns, that I'm still working on healing. I think this was a way to deal with the feelings of inadequacy I felt when I was not effective doing things as a kid. I decided I wouldn't let anyone come close to notice how dumb I really was. I wish you luck.

Buckley: When I was in school last year -- study buddies ALWAYS helped....for accountability and to alleviate procrastination.....Even if we didn't study together, we would always get together at an agreed upon place and EVERYONE would do the work they intended to do....

The "group energy" is very powerful....:)

Once you start "doing" the "I can't do this" thoughts will start to disappear....as your unconscious will discover the thoughts are untrue....

Thanks for the replies. The 'study buddy' idea sounds like a good one. I have been somewhat disciplined this semester about making sure I put in the hours at the library...too many distractions at home (like the ADD Forum!). Celia, I think I will pay a visit to the learning resources center. Perhaps a crash-course on organizational tips would be a good start. And by the way, I know exactly what you are talking about vis a vis the 'I can do this on my own' stuff. Better not too let anyone come close for fear that they discover how lost I am.

Thanks.

Its hard to get rid of that persistant negative voice in our heads. I still have trouble with it myself, but when it really seems to me down there are somethings I do or did when I was in college. I will need to again soon because I am going back. One thing that helped me was to think of why I got in to school to begin with and how happy I will be when its over. The new confidence I will have in the end I want to be a great experience. I know to make it the best possible I must stay determined and not let anything bither me too much because the reward in the end will be GREAT! Sometimes you need pushes along the way. Think back to things before you have done that you at one time didn't know you would ever accomplish. Also its nice to have someone nere by to remind you you can do this. So what if its not perfect all that matters is you don't fall short of trying your hardest. If you don't at least do that the negative voice will in turn get louder and you don't want that. Ask someone you can count on to help be your positive voice as well. Someone that knows how to without making you feel like they are nagging you. Hard to find I know. But there are ways to help a person know what you consider nagging and what you consider real help. There is a chapter on that in the book Attention Deficit Disorder in Women By Sari Solden MD..............(don't know how to use italics in here yet)...................... Anyway that book is mainly for women of course but if any men want to check out that chapter it can help you as well!
Anyway it is in the chapter titled Renegotiating Your Relatioships. It has good advise on how to talk to a friend or partner in a way that you don't argue about what you need as far as help from each other. Theres even an example exercise! Its worked for me when talking to my mother. She now knows how to be my positive voice without sounding like shes nagging at me.
Hope this helps. :)