View Full Version : Parents: you are just lazy


Mrjello
02-22-07, 11:18 PM
my parents tell me my adhd is no excuse for forgeting my home work or like taking 2 days to clean the kitchen (yeah it took 2 days) and i just dont think they take this serously AT ALL any help? because i serously feel like i go through hell with this ADHD i mean socially and ecodemicly(spelling is really off sorry) and at home whenever im not on my meds and my meds only really last me the school day... they just dont get it.. any advice or suggestions?:faint:

livinginchaos
02-22-07, 11:52 PM
welcome, Mrjello!

I know how hard it is to remember to do some of the simplest things. It's very difficult to get the motivation to do boring, tedious tasks. I just cleaned my apartment . . . finally!

But, that doesn't mean you can't devise a system to help you to remember to do those boring, tedious tasks (like homework & cleaning).


I have a few suggestions:

(1) keep a homework notebook and write in every assignment and when it's due. Keep it with you at school and immediately put it in your backpack upon going home, along with any other materials that are needed to do the homework. When you get home - get your homework done before you do anything else.

(2) write yourself notes and put them in a spot where you'll know you'll see them. I do that all the time - with super sticky post it notes. The post it notes are kept on the door to my apartment (a very visual spot).

(3) get a med "booster" for after school. Many people who are on the extended release meds take a "booster" (short acting version of the med) to get them through the rest of the day.
This might help you a lot. Talk with you doc about it.

(4) Make a chart and on it list the things you need to get done (on a daily/weekly basis). X or color in the box once you've done it


Learning coping skills isn't easy - but it's worth it!!


Courtney

Mrjello
02-23-07, 09:03 PM
Thanks a ton ill try these things

livinginchaos
02-24-07, 12:05 AM
you're welcome! Let me know if they help or if you need more suggestions!

Courtney

piglet
03-17-07, 12:29 AM
Mrjello, I've had 25 years to clean my kitchen and it's not done yet. You're doin' fine.:)

auntchris
03-17-07, 02:38 PM
MrJello,

I know what you mean. My dad was in the Army so make the bed and clean the kitchen dishes after your done. there is a site that give wonderful suggestion... www.flylady.net (http://www.flylady.net) I like her ideas and would rather go to the pages than get the emails because you get alot in one day. So check it out.

dormammau2008
03-18-07, 10:44 PM
NEVER LET ANYONE SAYS YOUR LAZY OR THICK NO GOOD AO OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT OR SAY THAT WHAT EVER YOU DO IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH NO MATTER WHAT YOU ACHIVE IN LIFE YOU ARE YOOU.....AN REMBERS THERE NEVER CHANCE YOU WILL...YOU HAVE POWER TO GROW......AN BE MORE ALLWAYS BELIVE THAT NO MATTER WHAT PEPS SAY MY MUM ALLWASY BEEN LIKE THAT AN MY DAD WALK AWAY FROM US AS KIDS ....NOTE IAM THE ONE WITH THE PORBLEMS NOT ME SIS...SHE ....A NO1 IN EVERYTHING....SO I KNOW WERE YOUR COEMING FROM EVEN NOW NOTHING HAS CHANCED SO NEVER LET THEM GET TO YOU NO MATTER WHAT...... MY THOUGHS AN WISHS ARE WITH YOOU

DORM

Hyper-active
04-08-07, 05:12 PM
omg! you are all officially my best friends now! lol
okay, so its taken me 8 months to clean my room, and im not done yet so yea, but my parents do exactly what yours do Jello, ur not alone, and thats always a positive way of looking at things. Thats 1 thing you have to love about this place, you always have someone willing to help you out, through the good or bad XD. To name a few, just look at all the wonderful people who have already replied to you above! Ill be checkin in, if i can help in anyway, be it just to talk or need advice (even tho im bad at it) ill be here for ya XD
Jenn

Faylen
04-08-07, 06:41 PM
Ugh. I had a friend whose daughter was ADD, and it used to drive me nuts when she told her "clean the kitchen" or "clean your room". Over and over, I'd explain to her that she had to be specific and give tasks in smaller bites. "Don't tell her "clean your room", or she'll get distracted and you'll end up yelling again. Tell her to put her barbies away, then when that's done, tell her to put her books back on the shelf. It takes longer, but she'll get better over time, and nobody has to get angry." It never worked, and I hated listening to the way she screamed at this child.

thewfh
04-09-07, 01:23 AM
Hey Faylen, That's good advice.... breaking things down into smaller tasks and being specific. Funny thing is, I know about that and have used it recently on my daughter....but have failed to use it on myself! Duh... I have ADD.:faint:

Hang in there MrJello, you've got some good suggestions to use there.... I would add that you show your parents the skills you are working on to improve yourself. That way they know that you are taking steps to help yourself. Maybe then they won't see it as an "excuse" but a real problem that you are dealing with. Easy for me to say.... I've been diagnosed since '03 and I'm still working on my own problems. It's a never-ending challenge, but hey, that's what makes life so interesting!

Good luck!

sconard82
04-09-07, 10:24 AM
Hey man, I feel for you.

I heard that I was lazy and worthless for 20+ years. ;)

I wasn't diagnosed with ADD until I was 23, so my parents just thought I was lazy. I don't really see my parents much anymore, but I found that if I calmly explained that I was sorry that it wasn't a malicious decision on my part, they were more understanding. Just try letting them know that you're not doing it to make them angry, because they may think you are as a teenager. Let them know that sometimes you get so lost in your own brain that sometimes you forget to do things everyone else considers second-nature.

Hope that wasn't completely worthless. :)

Didi
04-12-07, 12:26 PM
I was called lazy and stupid since day 1. I wasn't diagnosed with ADD until I was about 11 or 12, and both my brother and sister were the typical over achiever type. My parents didn't know what to do with me, and since I grew up in a small town, no one knew about learning disorders. At one point in my life, my parents thought I was so out of control that they were actually thinking about putting me into foster care. Ever since I have had a diagnosis on why I do what I do, it has helped me repair my relationship with my parents, and I know I am not just stupid and useless, so in the end everything worked out all right.

rebelgymnast28
05-12-07, 12:43 AM
Yeah... It takes me awhile to do boring tasks like cleaning, it takes me a weekend to clean my room. My parents also think i am just being lazy, if i forget my homework. I've learned to just ignore what they think because they don't have to deal with ADHD.

Sa225
12-19-07, 06:37 PM
When I read on this thread I started to think that maybe I donīt have ADD at all. (I donīt know yet). I use to clean the kitchen quite fast. But I guess I have to admit that that is when my mom is home and she stand and look at me until I have started. otherwise I wait until I see that she is on her way into the house. Right now I should be cleaning my room. And I have to finish two dresses I am sewing, it is a school project I have to deliver tomorrow!!! Why didnīt I just started this morning? It is difficult and when it doesnīt go my way immediatly I get so frustrated, so I just throw it away and I donīt want to see it again ever. Unfortunately that is not so easy, when it is a school project. I am almost afraid I donīt have ADD because then i most be stupid and lazy..