I am 38 years old, but was just diagnosed with ADD last summer. Suddenly, much of my more inexplicable behavior made sense.

My ADD therapist recommended trying medication, but I was breastfeeding my baby at the time and my doctor told me to wait til after she was weaned.

Now the baby is weaned, I'm free to start meds, but am a bit apprehensive.

Will the meds really help? I'm sort of borderline ADD, meaning that I can "blend" with normal people if I put my mind to it. I always did fine at work because I had a lot of rather elaborate organizational systems to compensate for my poor memory, and I was a web developer which was a good fit for my tendency to hyperfocus.

But, right now as a stay-at-home mom to three small children, I am a mess. I sort of wander around all day in a fog, wondering where I put my coffee mug. I find being around my kids all day to be simultaneously boring and stressful, and I think they pick up on that. My older two are almost certainly ADD as well, as is my husband, and between all of us it's a wonder we can find our car keys on any given day. I have tried to organize my home to compensate for the five scatterbrains who live here, but my kids are little so they constantly move, destroy and/or dismantle everything they come across. It's like living with a family of gremlins.

My biggest problems are distractability (there are LOTS of distractions around here), poor short-term memory (I often forget what I am doing while I am doing it, though I have near total recall for long-term memory), and a tendency to get very hyperfocused on whatever I am doing, and thus being extremely annoyed when I am (constantly) interrupted. I feel so irritable around my kids, which breaks my heart because I love them to pieces, but they are constantly interrupting EVERYTHING I do -- I get so frustrated that I just stop trying to do anything at all and just sit about and grow more and more annoyed with them.

Will medication really make my able to handle boring, tedious, noisy, annoying situations better? I guess I can't really imagine what it would be like to be normal...

Along with guidance from your doctor's therapy, suggesting methods to control and monitor you hyperactivity, with ways to structure your day, and the addition of medication you will see a difference.

Frequently those with adhd don't notice the effects of medication until they have the proper dosage and the appropriate therapy that goes with visiting their doctor for guidance.

Best wishes.

Hey Flutter, and Welcome to the forum! I must have missed you in the introductions!


I am a 36 year old mother of 3 ADD boys (15, 9, 8 ). I have inattentive ADD & BPDII.
I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 24 & BPDII Sept 2006. I take medications for both. Adderall XR 20mg (for ADD )& Lamictal 100mg (BPDII)

My story is very similar to yours as far as the dynamics that make up you family and your struggles.
I will tell you I started out on meds immediately upon my original dianoses and stayed on it for 3 years, before I stopped because I had my last 2 children.

I was off meds for a total of about 9 years. I can tell you I am happy to be back on them. While medication is not a cure all , it certainly gives me more "quality" of life. I think I did okay off meds, but that was only because over the 3 years I was on them, I retained the coping skills and newer "add" friendly habits.
IMHO I believe the best way to handle ADD is medication in conjunction with support (like here, or groups like CHADD & ADDA) , counseling if needed for all the fall out and possible relationship/esteem issues, and most important Coaching!

I am not saying someone can't live without meds, plenty appear to do just fine. But you seem to be voicing that your life is out of control because of the symptoms that lead you to be dx with ADD?
So if you are willing to try medication why not?
The good thing about most of the meds for ADD is "classic" stimulants used, don't require a blood level to work (meaning weeks/months to see the effects) They work or they don't and the results are pretty quick. And there a less of the concerns of stopping them quickly. Of course you should always discuss stopping or starting any medications with your doctor. I just know the difference because there is such a difference between the stims I have been on and the Lamictal.

Something else to be aware of, is often times finding the "right" medication for you is a long road. What works for one doesn't work for others, and there are dose "tweaks" and all kinds of different meds out to treat ADD. So you must be open minded, and patient.

To add an example about how I feel about the choice between medicating or not , is my kids.
My oldest son, has to be on meds, he is severe, and off meds can't function in school, has been since he was 5!
My middle son is about as ADHD as they come, but since his grades are decent and he poses little "conduct" issues at school we have an agreement to let him stay off until that changes.
My youngest I believe is more borderline and seems to function fine, so he might never need them at all.
So I am neither pro or con meds. It's a personal choice and needs to be based on weighing the individual situation, doctors advice, and your personal choice.

So below is a link to do some research on your own. certainly talk to your doctor, and read here, there are myriads of different stories and situations here to review.

To reiterate, meds are not 100% you still have to do your part. They are just a tool to dial down the static in your head to help you do a better job of things. That is also why I suggest having a coach to support you daily/weekly/ or monthly to learn the new skills and habits you will need to support the meds.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/06/060626091749.htm

Good luck and let us know how you are doing.

Hope

YES, YES, oh YES, medications do help tremendously. Most of us can function without medications, but so can many people who have "purely" physical illnesses -- they can function without their medicine, maybe, but they end up having a tremendously compromised quality of life, and encounter many "side effects" of not using medication.

ADD is a disorder that is medical. It's hard to remember that. Like many physical illnesses, ADD cannot be "cured" in the technical sense of being completely eradicated. My perception is many people are secretly convinced that their ADD is actually a character problem, and, having been in the fight for so long, it's hard to believe that something as simple as taking medication can PROFOUNDLY effect the way we function in the world.

Well, it can. Medication doesn't "erase" all of the problems associated with ADD, but it makes life a HECKOFALOT easier for many. I can't stand playing in the park with my daughter, can barely tolerate it, without my Ritalin. It sends me into a frenzy of boredom. When I take Ritalin, I enjoy myself. I don't know how that works, it just does.

Give yourself a chance to find out if it will work for you, you really deserve it.

PS, being a stay at home mom for a woman with ADD can be particularly challenging. I was religiously, perhaps to the level of zealotry, devoted to the idea of being at home with my child. By the grace of God I was forced by finances to work (about 30 hr/week) and it was the best thing that ever happened to me (my daughter stayed at home with her father while I was at work which assuaged my concerns about child care somewhat).

"Bored and stressed" explained it perfectly. I too am primarily inattentive and the boredom about killed me -- not that I don't adore my child, but the same thing day in and day out, because we were too broke to do any varied activities -- or even afford gas sometimes to get out -- UGH it was awful. I like having time away from my child. But when I'm with my child I'm much more present and enjoy her more.

It can help. I'm definately more helpful around the house on meds.

Will medication change anything? OH HELL YEAH! :)

I have inattentive ADD, and I cannot even begin to describe what a difference my medication has made and still makes today. Maybe that's going a bit over the top, but if you're like me you've struggled, I mean struggled, to focus your attention without any success.

Please don't fall into the trap of wondering if it's 'just you.' It's not.

But as the others have mentioned, your meds aren't magic pills. You still will struggle with inattention, procrastination, and overall frustration from time to time. But the meds should make a signifcant improvement on the attention, procrastination, etc. And be warned; ADD meds do require a bit of adjustment to find out which drug and which dose will best work for you.

Best of luck!

Definantly worth it. Ive had issues since I was 4 however never diagnosied until abut 6months ago at age 20. My Mum, partnet, grandmother... everyone I talked to was against me taking medication because of so much bad media publicity. It seems very very uncommon here for and adult and especially female to have ADHD. I was weary of taking the medication but was so desperate. I was studying and failing badly and couldn't even do small tasks like unstack a dishwasher. It would take me a full day to unstack it because i would all of a sudden start on another task. After taking medication this changed.

Think of it as what have you got to loose in trying medication and what have you got to gain? Thats what I ended up doing and the day I started felt like the best day of my life.

Medication clears the fog. It's amazing what a little ritalin can do. I take 10mg of ritalin and I can clean for three hours non-stop, and not even be bored or overwhelmed. Definitely worth a try.

I remember the first time I took it, it was like a miracle. I'm on adderall now, but ritalin will always be my first:)

Have you decided what to do yet?
I'm with Spacedout, I find medication to help a lot :-)