View Full Version : Experiences?


SubtleMuttle
12-30-03, 08:59 PM
Does anyone have some good experiences with therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists that you wouldn't mind sharing?

Any bad experiences that someone could learn from with going to them?

I've been urged by my evaluater to go to a psychiatrist/psychologist for further evaluations and help- but I am terrified (i will do it though) of clinical professionals (no offense intended, if anyone here is a pro) based on negative experiences with doctors and nurses, and I've never been to a psychiatrist/psychologist. I went to a therapist once when I was a teenager, because my dad wanted to make sure I was okay after he and my mom divorced- but I lied my @$$ off so my dad would stop worrying (she told him I was fine :) ) and got out of there as fast as I could (five minutes!). May have been a bad move on top of being highly dishonest but as I look back I still believe that was one of my better decisions; he didn't need any more to worry about.

Anything? I just want to move on to this with a positive additude, and a real understanding of realistic concerns if there are any (and not my paranoia). I am trying to do this for myself as well, but would appreciate anyone's input very much. Thanks!

Wheel1975
12-31-03, 01:06 AM
wow. really.

this is a really profound place you ask anyone to stand.

There is so much to say...

Yes, usually honesty is the best policy, but history is full of spots where specifically it wasn't... even in the Bible.

If you are really very concerned, and you can, take someone with you that you trust to help you open up and maintain a sense of security. But understand, any such person is temporary... you need to take over that role yourself, maintaining your own idea of boundaries across which you will alow another person, and those that must remain off limits until later.

You need to take your own good sense with you.

Even with my prescribing physician (psychiatrist) I retain responsibility for what i swallow. He asserts his legal, moral and ehical responsibility to be professional, bu i am the last gardian of my own body... (and mind?) and i cannot cede that responsibility to another, ever, even if it becomes shared n some sense.

So i would encourage you to retain an idea of your own responsibility to yourself throughout therapy.

Don't take it too seriously, and don't distrust your instincts. No matter how "qualified" or "good" someone is with others, it is YOU that they are working with with you, and you are your only concern in that case. Trust your instincts if they say "find someone else." Even if you are wrong, there are many professionals out there. give several a try.

see if there are social worker resources available to prepare for what to expect from therapies and therapists.

Take what you like, and leave the rest.

And consider the other responses you get on this before taking action... now someone else post! Fast! Don't just read this!

SubtleMuttle
12-31-03, 05:11 PM
Thanks for the advice, David, it is much appreciated! That was more than I was expecting! And is a very helpful perspective.

Reading back what I originally wrote (my, I tend to ramble) it sounds like I was asking for personal information of counseling; I should have been more clear! What I meant was more or less a positive or a negative response towards having good experiences or not. I hope some people HAVE had good experiences; most of the people I know have had bad ones to one degree or another. But this is helpful enough, and I ask no more.

Again, thanks!

Ian
01-01-04, 05:31 AM
Whoa.. I really liked what David said. I have a really hard time submitting to medical professionals who don't inspire my confidence.. Thank-you David for your clarity. I subscribe to those thoughts.

SubtleMuttle I have had a couple of really good experiences with "pros". The first was years ago for marriage counselling. The first person we met with we gave the boot to within one session. She wanted to talk about separating and neither one of us wanted to separate. The second "pro" was willing to talk "repairs" and it has yielded us a long (18 years) and happy marriage for the most part.

The second I've talked about before here so I'll try not to repeat myself too badly.

Others have stated that somehow a therapist and a coach are contradictory. I have not had this experience. I love my therapist and now see her primary role as a coach. In the beginning I failed to appreciate how helpful this relationship had become but now recognise it as a very powerful tool for change. I crumpled and came to a dead stop withing a few short months of stopping our meetings. I am now medicated and have begun the climb back out and upward once again. Once the coaching is again well established I'll review the necessity for the meds.

I don't feel fear or apprehension in talking to "pros" but I also have no hesitations in leaving if they appear arrogant or unwilling to risk to similar degrees as I do.

Good luck with it. I hope the person you see inspires you to dive in with both feet or turn around and go on to the next one.. I think many of them have much to contribute. The beautiful thing about this board is that many here have lots of experience that makes it much easier than it used to be to get answers to questions about the methods of the "pros" .. the checks and balances are a darn sight more balanced than before message boards or at least as far as I can tell.

Cheers! Ian.... the rambler.. David were you born concise? xox

Ace
01-01-04, 04:03 PM
I have seen a phD psychologist about a dozen time since mid-October 2003. She is young, but seems very centered and insightful. She knows when to let me think through a subject I'm on without interrupting. If she has both feet in a particular "school" of counselling, it doesn't show.

I LOVE counselling. It is like a trip to a spa to me (not that I've ever had that experience). I'd go more often if I could. My co-pay is $25 per visit. I learn so much. As a "wanderer," I need—and I get—to be gently set back on track as I set weekly goals for myself and check in to get help evaluating my efforts and challenges. I feel very motivated when I leave the facility. I've stopped crying, too!

At the same place, I see the staff psychiatrist who not only prescribes, but also does the "talking cure" thing during each visit. (Once a month.)

This would not work as well if I were going to a for-profit outfit. (Socialistic side of me.) To me, health facilities should be patient-centered, not-for-profit, locally-based and run by a board directors drawn from the community. That's what we have here, and I feel as confident and secure now as I did when I went in during a marital crisis 20 years ago.

I can't change my difficult life situation, but I can change the ways I deal with it. ADD or ADHD is a roadblock and a gift. I think a good counsellor can help clients to help themselves.

Finally: Remember all the while that you, the client, are the CONSUMER, and you can stop "buying" the service or spend your resources elsewhere if you feel it isn't working for you.

Wheel1975
01-01-04, 04:39 PM
Originally posted by SubtleMuttle
Thanks for the advice, David, it is much appreciated! That was more than I was expecting! And is a very helpful perspective.

Reading back what I originally wrote (my, I tend to ramble) it sounds like I was asking for personal information of counseling; I should have been more clear! What I meant was more or less a positive or a negative response towards having good experiences or not. I hope some people HAVE had good experiences; most of the people I know have had bad ones to one degree or another. But this is helpful enough, and I ask no more.

Again, thanks!

I sort of understand several things... that i didn't quite get the drift of what you were really asking; that you really appreciated what i did share; and that you hoped that therapy could be good.

On that last point, I think relationships entail dynamic range.

the amount available to be gained is related to the openess to be wounded, and the validity of the trust of that openness...

That is, I don't think being "over exposed' serves anyone well... but being very exposed in a justifiable environment opens us to both potential and actual pleasures and benefits, as well as very real pains and distresses.

In the place of a therapist, or anyone who's job it becomes to direct us to "difficult news" some discomfort is the necessity of even "good" actions.

i hope some of that was clear.

Yes. Therapy can help.

SubtleMuttle
01-01-04, 04:47 PM
Thank you all so much! It's hard to explain why, but this is really helping me cut through my own bs- an old, stubborn fear. The people that I personally know could have never helped me with that, as they have had bad experiences and tell me I'm better off without the pro's. It is refreshing and encouraging to hear of good ones.

Wheel, I think you did understand what I was asking for; you just answered it in an unexpected way that is invaluable! That is, you eclipsed the question by going straight to the root of it and giving solid advice based on your experiences; instead of telling me that you have had good experiences or not.

Tara
01-01-04, 05:29 PM
There's also a thread in this sub-forum titled "Frustration" that you what to take look at.

SubtleMuttle
01-01-04, 05:37 PM
Thank you.. real things to beware of

SubtleMuttle
01-09-04, 06:34 PM
This has gotten ridiculous, but improving anyway.

I've tried to call to make an appointment twice. Each time I felt fine, calm, but the second I hear the line ringing I've started shaking so badly that I knew I couldn't really talk; so I've hung up. :mad: Ridiculous! Yet I find the irony humorous!

And I just can't let someone call for me.

Ian
01-09-04, 07:09 PM
SubtleMuttle we all have things that we just can't muster the courage for. I don't think it's so ridiculous. You are taking a risk and that may lead to change. Change never comes without risk.

I hope you find what you need.

Take it easy on yourself. Ian.

Wheel1975
01-09-04, 07:42 PM
Originally posted by SubtleMuttle

And I just can't let someone call for me.

Why can't you ask someone for help you apparently need?

Draga
01-09-04, 09:16 PM
When choosing a therapist always check the feet! If they are webbed trust me they are quacks.

The bast experiences I have had with the previous doctors was leaving them! they just shoved meds down my throat and didn't even take my problems seriously and one was soo senile that she got information I told her mixed up(No my dad was not an alchoholic I was sheesh)

I have been blessed in the last few months who has really got his therapy together and he understands situation I am in so he works with me to help me out...he provindes me with the help I need. Just recently i emailed him an application for free meds and I got it the next day already filled out and ready to go! How awesome is that. The meds he put me on are actually working and he is the nicest man, makes me regret seeing a female shrinks, although gender has no real bearing on abilites. The bast part about him is HE HAS NORMAL FEET!

SubtleMuttle
01-09-04, 11:59 PM
Thanks Ian, not being too hard but keeping a sense of humor about it, respectively!

Wheel, I just feel against it, but I see your point. However, I have just asked and my boyfriend won't do it; his rationale is that since I have a social anxiety it's in my favor to make the call myself. I agree.. but really wish I had a secretary!! And (outside of here of course) I'm not really broadcasting that I need an appointment, so there isn't anyone else for the deed. Now is the weekend, so I have til monday. I will do it; I have also scripted a dialogue in case of brain lock.

Hehe; quack feet! Is it a normal procedure to show new patients their feet? :D Glad to hear you finally found a doctor that works for you!

Wheel1975
01-11-04, 11:06 AM
Originally posted by SubtleMuttle

However, I have just asked and my boyfriend won't do it;

his rationale is that since I have a social anxiety it's in my favor to make the call myself.

I agree.. but really wish I had a secretary!!

Pardon my french, but that boyfriends logic strikes me as totally backwards and ....

you're "really wish" would get you the help that you need for the social anxiety problem. some times I am very practical.

SubtleMuttle
01-11-04, 09:12 PM
I see what you mean, but it would be backwards if I was completely imcapable. I believe that I am capable now. If he made the call for me, that would be easier for me. But I can, so I will. Twice failing is not a sign of incapability. Believe me, he helps me out with enough that whatever it is that I am sure I can do; I'd rather do it. The real issue I forsee is getting me to the appointment. I can tell he's already worked this out in his head!

FlakeyGirl
01-13-04, 12:50 PM
*rooting for you!*

SubtleMuttle
01-25-04, 12:02 AM
Still didn't do it. Now I don't know if I will be able to fit a dr. app into my school schedule.. I think I'm still just too scared to do it (ironic; want pro. understanding of why I'm scared of people, but because of the issue too scared to go through with it!). But I'm not setting this on the backburner either.

Sorry I've wasted anyone's time, thanks for all of your support, answers, and advice.

Ian
01-26-04, 01:07 AM
Questions and an open mind are hardly cause to label this a "waste of time". I disagree. I am here for the benefits of the process you have used here. Using this board as a sounding board or touch stone is exactly how the benefits are found. I like what you have done here.. it's encouraging to see you risk putting your fears and concerns out and then fielding the responces.

SubtleMuttle
You have explored the idea.. asked questions of yourself and others. Make no mistake about it.. "no" is an option.

Well done.. keep it up and keep posting the high quality efforts.

Respectfully. Ian.

Wheel1975
01-26-04, 10:20 AM
Originally posted by SubtleMuttle
I see what you mean, but it would be backwards if I was completely imcapable.

I believe that I am capable now. ...

ADHD is about unreliable capability, not so much incapablility in a technical sense.

Perhaps uselessly capable would be a poetic way to describe it.

Anyway, if there are enough barriers to prevent the appointment from getting made, using a black and white filter, that is a failure of the SYSTEM to suceed in making an appointment, regardless of the capability of any subordinate parts.

Also, you did good work talking about not REALLY wanting to make an appointment. Before you judge yourself as "not being able to make an appointment" be sure that you really want to in the first place. Not doing what you chose not to do is a GOOD THING.

paulbf
05-12-04, 10:57 PM
Subtle,
I'm torn about therapy. At times I think I need it badly and would much prefer to see someone for two hours every day: an hour a week isn't enough. At other times I get tired of having my dirty laundry dragged out and making no progress so I quit. I'm very suspicious about doctors and do not trust them for a moment. I don't have that feeling about therapists though because there is enough time to explain myself: sometimes not enough but much more than the 40 seconds you usually get with a medical doctor.