I am a 34 yr old guy. Married to a wonderful wife and we have a 2yr old son and a daughter on the way. Hopefully, tomorrow will be the first day of the rest of my life. I will be seeing my psychiatrist and will be starting meds (probably Adderall). I saw him last week but he didn't want to start meds until I had my heart checked by a cardiologist. (I have an irregular heart beat).



I am a little nervous... I have been the way I am for 34 1/2 years and the thought of popping a pill and becoming a different person is a slightly overwhelming--and comforting as well. There are things that I really appreciate about myself and things that are quite annoying. Most of which I believe are products of my ADHD. I wonder if just the bad system will go away and the good will stay? I guess I'll find out soon. Will I still be insanely in love with my wife? Will I still be able to actually wear out my 2yr old (who probably also has ADHD)? Will I be able to concentrate on my work and stop procrastinating so much? Will my short term memory improve? I guess I'll find out soon enough...



I was recently diagnosed with ADHD after I had gotten written up at work for forgetting to complete something my boss asked me to do. I had received similar warning before so this time I was required to undergo counseling for time management. I was not very happy about it but thought I would have an open mind and try to improve myself through it. During my first session with the counselor we talked about my childhood.



I was a very hyper-active child. Classic ADHD symptoms. I was "informally" diagnosed with ADHD but my parents did not want to put me on meds. They had me on the Feingold Diet and they were pretty strict about my behavior so that seemed to help. I learned quickly how to suppress my impulses and compensate for my symptoms in order to not suffer the wrath of my parents or the ridicule of my peers. As I got older I stopped being outwardly hyper-active but still had problems with concentration. I am still fidgety when I am sitting and like to hum or whistle to myself. I also like to be moving my hands, snapping my fingers, tapping on things, clacking my teeth, or shaking my foot all the time. I don't have any problem with staying seated for a long period but I can feel just as exhausted after sitting all day the same as if I had been doing physical work. I also struggle with not interrupting others and blurting out impulsive statements. Most of my friends and co-workers would classify me as calm and mild-mannered with a good, but dry, sense of humor so I must suppress my outward hyper-activity well.



All the way through school, college, and now at work I have had difficulty keeping my focus on my work, especially if I am not 100% interested in it. If I am turned on to something, though, I will literally consume it and work on it with a passion that is very difficult to distract me from. My level of attention seems to be off balance. I will actually look for things to distract me if I'm not interested in what I am doing. I procrastinate horribly and beat myself up for not getting things done sooner. Time gets away from me and I realize that I had just spent 20 minutes at my desk spacing off. My desk is always a mess. I don't like filing things because if they are not on my desk where I can see them I totally forget to do them. I am never able to remember details so if some one asks me something I better hope I have it written down somewhere or I end up looking like an idiot.



I am a nursing home social worker so I have to do a lot of multi-tasking. This is very difficult for me because I am interrupted frequently with phone calls or nurses, residents, or families stopping in my office. I can be working on something, get interrupted, and completely forget to come back to it. I will then start working on something that doesn't need to be done right away and forget about the things that are on today's To-Do list. Often I am afraid to start digging through my piles on my desk for fear that I will find something that should have been done weeks ago. It is very frustrating and I am at the point where I want to change careers (again). The thought of changing careers scares me because I am afraid my poor work performance will follow me.



My ADHD has its good points. Because I have spent my whole life monitoring myself I am very aware of the way I appear to others. I suppress my impulses well and strive to be courteous and compassionate toward others. Normally, I am happy and positive (sometimes overly). I am very patient and I am able to handle conflict well. When a family or resident has a complaint and is upset they are usually sent to me because I am usually able to disarm them and listen to their problems in a respectful manner. I have an uncanny ability to read other people's emotions and use them to better address their concerns. If I make a mistake or do something to upset someone I am very quick to apologize and try to work to make things right. I also take criticism well and I am very loyal to people who have authority over me if they earned my respect.



I am very attentive to my wife and family and will go out of my way to make them happy and I am deeply sorry if I have miss-stepped. My wife loves and accepts me despite my impulsive and forgetful nature. I often don't think I deserve her and wonder what she sees in me. She tells me not to think like that and just accept the fact that she loves me. I appreciate her so I work very hard to keep her happy and defuse problems I might accidentally cause. I know that ADHDers tend to have more divorces and I do not want to be a statistic.



Lastly, I recognize back when I was in the Army that I could easily have a problems with alcohol so I quit drinking. I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs because I know that I could easily become addicted if I was not careful. I am an impulsive eater and have struggled with my weight. I will eat almost anything as long as it doesn't try to eat me first. I recently lost about 80 lbs because I was motivated to get healthy but I am losing that motivation and have gained 10 lbs. back.



I can't say that I ever considered my ADHD a handicap in the past. I have learned to manage myself for the most part and mostly I am comfortable with who I am. However, I have spent a lifetime performing a balancing act to suppress the parts of me that are not socially acceptable and keep the beast hidden. I feel like I am a grand master illusionist able to fool vast audiences. I work hard to make sure other people don't feel tempted to look behind the curtain. The battle can be exhausting sometimes... I hide my frustration and anger very well and often turn it inward to allow it to diffuse and eventually evaporate. I tend to have a low self-esteem and tend to beat myself up over seemingly small mistakes. I often find myself thinking about something I impulsively said or did many years ago and I feel the familiar anger and shame welling up in me again. I only let my anger out when I know I am alone and no one else can hear or see me. Part of me wonders if I would just let myself default to my true nature if I would become an insensitive, unemployed, cynical, loner that would lash out at anyone that tested my patience and have total disdain for societal standards. Sometimes I think it would be relaxing to not have to care anymore but I don't think I could ever live with the consequences of knowing that I had hurt others.

If my ADHD has caused me to feel like I am living a double life then I guess it must be a problem. Therefore, I am willing to give medication a try. My only hope is that the things that I and other people like about me will not change. I hope I am not wishing for a miracle drug.

I'm sorry about the length of this post. I guess I am writing this to record my base line before I start taking meds. I may want to go back and read this to fully appreciate who I was and to see how I have changed. Perhaps some of you will able to offer insights and suggestions. I am planning on posting my progress, side effects, triumphs, and disappointments as I learn to understand the new me.

Welcome to the forum, and good luck on your journey! I started taking Adderall yesterday and am also very excited to finally make the step towards ADD "mitigation" :)

Thanks for the response ADDer. Keep me up to date on how it is going for you.

Hope things go great for you. Medication won't make you a new you, but there are things it will probably make easier (listening and remembering for example). To maximize you results learn all you can about your variety of ADD. A helpful workbook that can be done alone or better yet with a therapist is called Mastering Your Adult ADHD by a team from Harvard Medical School (Safren, Sprich, etc.). Driven to Distraction of course is a classic and full of good information.

Let us know how it goes!:)

Scattered

Welcome.:) I am pretty new here too,and just started Adderall. I don't know if popping a pill will change us, it just helps us get through our day. Good luck on your journey.

I saw my cardiologist today. He says I seem to be doing OK considering I have lost 75 lbs since this time last year. My irregular heart beat isn't causing me any problems. My blood pressure was a little high so he has scheduled me to have a stress echo and some labs done. He said I am good to start meds. YIPEE!!

My psych appointment was moved to tomorrow morning so hopefully I will start meds.

Hi, I have been taking adderall for about 7 years now, and I think there are a few things you should know. Of the different meds that I have tried over the years, adderall is by far the best in treating ADD symptoms in my opinion, however, things will change, some for the better, and some might take time to cope. At first, I would imagine your doctor will prescribe you to a low dosage, probably 10 mg, which shouldn't feel like anything more than a cup of coffee that lasts all day. Naturally after a month or so you will probably have to check up with him and increase the dosage. (10 mg is the standard dosage for a 10 year old child) Adderall does wonderful things for productivity and attention at higher doses, however, it is an amphetamine, and the higher you get, the lower you eventually go, and you will build a tolerance to it. Of all the negative effects of adderall, the most prominent is the ease of irritability. It ranges from people doing small things, to clothes that are uncomfortable (tags on shirts are the worste to me). It will make you lose weight, and when you first find the right dose, it may tend to take your personality away.

My best advice to you is to realize that once you've found the right dosage, you need to stay there, increasing the dose is only a temporary fix to tolerance that will build regardless. Also, you need to inform your wife and children on the changes that are taking place when they do, misunderstanding can cause conflict and make the coping stage much more difficult. Lastly, and possibly most importantly, take a "drug holiday" whenever you can, on weekends, breaks from work, holidays, etc.

I hope this will be helpful to you in the near future.

chad31687 Thanks for sharing how ADD medication has effected you but I would also like to remind the reader that every one is different and just because some one experiences a certain thing i.e. "Sue grows a third eye" doesn't automatically mean you need to run out a buy a side car for your glasses.

I do wish to mention some things that are common and can pose problems if one is not aware.

#1 Medicine is NOT magic = it may take time to find the proper medication, dosage and timing. There are those who find their best medication pretty quickly but many have to try several adjustments before the proper medication is found.

#2 - ADD medication are effective for 20% of the ADD population so if you are not instantly transformed out of your ADD bothersome symptom by ADD medication doesn't automatically mean you have been misdiagnosed.


#3 - Medication can't make you some thing you are not. They do NOT give you abilities you don't have. Yes they will help you be able to filter out stimuli or stay tuned in to the stimuli you want that is what they do. In turn you may be able to become more aware of time, have a better working memory, have more linier capabilities. I do wish to mention that if you couldn't in-line skate before medication talking a pill won't prevent you from falling down the first time you try.

This is an analogy leading to

#4- Despite the medications ability to help you stay focused you will still have to un-learn some bad habits the old fashion way. . . . finding a system that works. So many ADDers are convinced non-ADDer are magical beings from another planet because they can find their car keys. . . .the truth is they can find their car keys because they have a “habit” of putting them in the same place when they are finished using them. . . in other wards non-ADDers have systems in place that allow them to function medications will not dismiss you from this system seeking responsibility.


Now personal opinion time for me. The effect CHAD called developing a tolerance is referring to the fact that some people no longer "feel" their medications working. I have been on ADD medications for 14 years and on Adderall about 10 of those. I no longer feel my medications effects however they are still working.

You mentioned having a wonderful wife wonderful because loved ones can be a great help in being an objective observer. I do not feel my meds take effect nor do I feel them wear off however it is my functioning level that changes. My loved ones can tell my medications have worn off before I am aware of it . I wonder more and get less done. Plus loved ones can be good at reminding you to take your medications when they open the frig and find the wallet you have been looking for.


I do not HAVE feel my medications for them to be working properly. Incorporating the assistance of loved ones in the area of observation and out side objectivity will help you be able to determine weather or not a true tolerance is occurring or your body has simply adjusted to the chemical changes and you no longer notice the effects.

Although some people do experience a personality change not all of us do. My personally is pretty much the same both on and off medications. It is my ability to think linearly that changes. . . . some things in life I find more annoying on medications than I do off of them because I notice "it" more while other things in life bother me more whenI am off my medications. These are the clue I use to know my medications are waering off I have learned me and my ADD traits and treatment personally..

A medication journal is an excellent way to track effects- adding input form significant others would be an added benefit A medication journal doesn't need to be fancy or complicated. Spiral note pad and a pen. Date dosage times and few words describing effects. Take it with you to your appointment will enable you to give the doctor a better over all idea . . . the journal is also a good place to write some questions you have for the doctor. . . I began my medication log at the front of my notebook and wrote my question for my doctor beginning in the back so I would not have to hunt for them.

Last but by no mean least. . . . .

When the medication first start helping you may be over whelmed and want to try and change every thing bad about you instantly . Do your self a favor and don't. Begin by addressing your two most problematic areas and begin looking for systems or productive coping methods. Your newly found coping method should be second nature for a week (you now latch your keys to the loop on the side of your purse automatically, thus not having to frantically look for them for a week) before you add the next more troublesome trait to work on . See pills are tools that are part of the treatment for ADD, they are NOT the entire treatment. You did not acquire poor coping methods or bad habits over night These issues will not be resolved in one day either no matter how different you may feel in the beginning.

If you think I am full of “it” fine by me you would hardly be the first so feel free to ignore me for now This post will more than likely still be here in a few months when my words begin to ring true.

Hey mead, thnx for pointing that out, everyone is different. But the one thing that will happen for sure is tolerance, I don't believe anyone can avoid that without breaks and such. I feel the same symptoms of tolerance as you, more productivity on it, and at night when I'm abou to go to sleep my mind wanders for 5 minutes, then I focus for a few, then 10 minutes, etc. Is adderall really not a "magic pill" in ways though? I concider it magic that a simple little orange pill, if able to help oneself, can make up for about 40% of lost productivity due to ADD. Its not a "fix your life all at once" pill, and I understood that when my doctor told me that it's not going to pick up my pencil and do my math homework for me. One last thing, about comment #3 you made, everyone is different like you said, so adderall can make you something, or someone you are not, depending on who you are. Apmhetamines cause an increase in coordination in many people that do it, as well as reduced fatigue and other good physical aspects. I'm not saying it's going to make someone have the coordination to hit a home run in baseball instantly, but many abuse it for sports enhancers. Setting aside the physical possibilities, it can become your personality, I am myself still, and I am at the same time a person created my years of aderall use. (I closely relate my adderall personality to Mulder and Skully from the X-Files lol) But everyone reacts differently and only time will tell. OK I'm going to stop now because my adderall is kicking in and I'm just rambling :)

I don't believe anyone can avoid that without breaks and such.

chad while I agree with your last post, I still do not agree with the above quote. I think it has probably been for you exactly as you posted, You probably do have to take break or adjust your medication upward due to tolerance. I have no doubt as to your accuracy.

We see this aspect very differently I even think I know why.

You are young and still growing in many ways. This lines up perfectly with your stated experience.

See I am much older and have been on my present dosage for years without experiencing tolerance. I probably haven't because of my age. At 40+ years I have not changed much physically in the past ten or so years.

So you do have a point I had not considered. Young people may experience tolerance with more frequency due to the more rapid physical changes, where as older people will more than likely experience true tolerance less often because we are less apt to experience the same rate of physical changes. However no matter what a person's age any rapid physical change will probably have an effect upon how well the medication work. I do appreciate you pointing out this previously over looked aspect of ADD medication treatments.

This exchange is a true example of two opposing perspectives being equally right.

Yeah that is a good point, and 6 months ago I started dieting and getting regular exercise. Since then I've lost 38 lbs, which has most likely had an effect on my tolerance, and recently I seem to have reached a plateau on how far my tolerance will build, hopefully it stays at this point.

Wow!!! I really appreciate all of the input. That is why I decided to start this thread and basically journal my thoughts concerning my ADHD and keep track of my progress. I was hoping to get the opinions and input of other people. I have always thought best when I have someone who can be a sounding board. It looks like I am getting what I hoped for and believe me when I say I appreciate it. I truly do. Thanks especially to chad and meadd. I am 34 yrs old so I am pretty much between you in age so it is interesting to hear a healthy debate from the two of you. I hope you all will continue to read my posts and comment on them.

When I first started this thread I was nervous and excited about finally beginning to understand that I have problem that can be treated. For my entire life I just thought that I was who I was and too bad if I didn't like certain things about myself. I was just stuck the way I was, like it or not. If I wanted to change myself I would have to muster up a bunch of will-power, read self-help books, listen to self-improvement gurus, and invest money and time in trying to fool everyone into thinking I am on top of the world. I tried all of that and none of it ever seemed to really stick. I was stuck just being the scatter-minded, impulsive, procrastinating me. Since being diagnosed, it is nice to know that I can do something about it. Maybe now my efforts at getting organized will stick and in ways I can become a better person.

I never did think that I would become a "different" person or have a "new" personality. That may have been the wrong way to think of what medication will do for me. I guess you could say that hopefully, the medication will be a spring board or a catalyst to gradually changing the negative aspects of my ADHD. The meds will only do so much. Obviously, the rest is up to me. It is impossible to tell where this road will take me.

I did see my Dr. this morning and he gave me a prescription for 10mg Adderall XR once a day. He said after a couple weeks I could start taking 2 pills a day to see if it helped any more. He also gave me a coupon for a free 30 day supply which is very nice since my insurance co-pay for Adderall XR is $55. OUCH!! Adderall IR is on the formulary so it is only $15. I may have to talk to my Doc about seeing what we can do with the IR instead of the XR. Any advice on this?

I took my first dose this morning around 9:00 AM. It is 2:25 right now and I think I can tell a little bit of a difference. I have stayed very busy today at work with the typical amount of interruptions but I have found that I am able to jump right back onto task when I have handled the other problem. I also just noticed that I was able to keep typing this post while I was talking on the phone. I have NEVER been able to do that before. I remembered a phone number after glancing at it about an hour ago. Normally, I will have to check a number several times because numbers just don't stay in my head. Also, earlier I was able to relay a phone conversation to a nurse with out even stopping to think about what was said. AMAZING!!!! As far as the hyperactivity side of things go; I don't feel overwhelmed or flustered when I have a bunch of stuff to deal with at once. Also, I have noticed that I don't feel the need to fidgit, tap on my desk, snap my fingers, clack my jaws, or even whistle or hum out loud. This is also a first; I actually got annoyed at the clutter on my desk and felt compelled to try to organize it. I am too busy now but that is definitely going on the TO-DO List!


As far as side effects... Not much really. Slight headache (I tend to have headaches all the time anyway), Slightly dry mouth (no big deal...I'll drink more water), low appetite (I could stand to lose a few pounds)

We'll see how the rest of the day goes but so far, I think I am liking this. Maybe today is the first day of the rest of my life!

Friday 3/2: I've been sluggish today. I have been able to stay focused on when I choose to but I have found that there have been times today when I simply didn't want to do the work and I would rather waste time. I did get a huge pile on my desk organized. Now I just have to file it all away. I got to work at 6:45AM this morning to make up some time lost from 2 doc. appointments this week so I'm probably just tired and have a bad case of Friday-itis. I am wondering if the Adderall 10mg /day is enough for me. Probably not but I will give it at least 10 days before I up it to 20mg.

I am curious to see how I will do tomorrow since it is a Saturday and we don't have much planned. Will I have enough energy to start organizing the basement or will I just put it off again???

Thanks for the update. . . .

Did you organize you basement yesterday? Did the Adderall make you want to do it and stay focus? I am going to take my Adderall 10mg IR and see if I can clean/organize my closet. I think it helps in cleaning too.......to get off my butt and just do it!:D

This was a busy weekend but I didn't get to start on the basement. No procrastination involved... I was just busy with other stuff. On Saturday morning we went to Office Depot so my wife could pick out some office furniture. I was incharge of keeping track of our 2 yr. old son (Future ADHD Poster Child). It is not easy keeping him entertained for two hours in an office supply store. After that we went to the Crown Center (an upper-scale shopping area in Kansas City) to eat and let our son play in they kid's area. After that we went home, put the kid down for a nap, and I spent some time putting office furniture together. I spent the evening relaxing and watching a movie with my wife.

Sunday wasn't much different. Off to church then out to lunch. I fell asleep while trying to get my son down for his nap. When I woke up and noticed he was asleep so I went to Kohls to graze the clearance racks. (Lost track of time there for almost 2 hrs. Oops! My wife was frustrated but I found some really good deals!) Then grabbed some groceries and went home. I spent the evening folding clothes and organizing stuff for taxes with my wife. I guess it was my punishment... LOL! I guess I will have to plan on organizing the basement next weekend.

As far as the ADHD stuff goes... I honestly can't tell much of a difference on my little 10mg Adderall XR dose. I need to up it but my doc. wants me to wait until after I have been on it for one week. I am still scattered and absent minded at times. I forgot to feed the dogs and make my cofee this morning. Procrastination no better either. Obviously since I am typing this instead of doing my work right now. My wife said she did not notice much of a difference this weekend. I think she has learned to ignore my annoying traits. My first day on the meds were really good but I kinda' wonder if it was a bit of a placebo affect.

I do notice a few things, though: Decreased appetite. I don't feel fidgity and have to be moving my hands and feet all the time. I am calmer and more patient when I drive. Too fast or too slow drivers don't really bother me anymore. I guess it is a start but I am anxious to increase my dosage. I plan on doubling it on Thursday.

HardyHar, Glad things are going well for you! Congratulations on losing all that weight -- quite an accomplishment. Sounds like you're having a positive medication response. The mild headaches will hopefully resolve soon -- mine only lasted about 3 days or so when I started medication. I was real tired for about two weeks after I started medication, but that adjusted too.

Cloud1, Meds won't provide motivation -- you still have to do that yourself (unfortunately:rolleyes: ), by scheduling, writing things down that you have to do, etc, but it will help in staying focused and thinking clearly about what you need to do. Be careful -- because it can also make it easier to hyperfocus on stuff you like anyway (ie: computer time, etc) that can take time away from boring jobs like closet cleaning;) .

Take care!
Scattered

It has been a few weeks since I have posted an update here. When I first discovered and started posting in this forum I was on 10 mg Adderall XR. I spent much of my time ( at least 4 hours every day) on this forum while at work. Obviously, I was not spending much time working while at work... After a week of being on 10 mg I doubled my dosage to 20 mg and boy... that is when I started to notice a real change in myself!

I started to really take work seriously. I realized that I could actually keep my focus on something I was working on and not feel like my attention was being wrenched away by every little thing that flitted through my head. I was able to look at a task I needed to complete, plan out the order of steps I would need to take to accomplish it, and remember where I left off if I was interrupted. It has been great!

Prior to starting meds, I would have to discribe muself as a dog chasing rabbits. If I saw a rabbit I felt completely consumed by the desire to chase it. The only thing that could get me to stop chasing it was if another rabbit came by. Now, if a rabbit comes by, I just think, 'That's just a rabbit... No big deal... What I am doing now is much more important. I can chase it later if I am done with this.' I will actually write thoughts down that come to mind that deserve to be looked at later when I take a break or get done with my work.

Things have improved a lot at work. I have completed things quickly and have organized my To-Do list into a 5 category notebook. Each section is devoted to an area of my responsibilities. Everything I need to do get written down in that notebook even if I am going to do it right then. That way I have a record that I actually did it and checked it off. I even went through my old notebook looking for thing I forgot to do months ago and have written them down too. It is nice to see my To-Do list actually shrinking rather than growing. Honestly, I don't know I managed to get anything done pre-diagnosis days.

These last couple weeks have been terribly busy at work so I have been working like mad trying to get everything done. I have had a couple big projects that I have taken on plus there has been an influx of resident and family complaints and issues that I have had to deal with. (I am a nursing home social worker for anyone that doesn't already know). Those things have taken time away and frequently interrupted my work on the routine parts of my job. It has been frustrating but I have been able to remember where I left off and jump right back to work after taking a complaint call. That has really boosted my confidence.

I don't feel totally overwhelmed like I used to everyday before. I used to feel totally wiped out when I went home at night, even if I spent the day procrastinating. I often felt guilty and worthless and I could figure out if I was unmotivated because I didn't like my job or if I simply wasn't able to really do my job because I wasn't smart enough. I tried to get enough work done to keep myself out of the trouble and hope people would forget that they asked me to do something. It was a miserable existance.

Honestly, I still don't want to stay at my job. It isn't because I don't like it or can't do it; I need something that pays better. We have a baby on the way and life is going to start costing more with daycare doubling and needing a new vehicle that will fit 2 car seats plus our two dogs. Now I just need to make sure I don't procrastinate in my job hunting because I am actually liking my job now.

Wonderful new Hardy!

Well the whole money thing I understand. Good thing the meds themselves help us wiht the impulse control, or I would have left mine a long time ago.

Nothing wrong with writing up that resume, esp if you have the concentration to do so. Maybe you will find something before the baby gets here?

But glad to see the meds seem to be helping. It's a long road!

Continue to journal ,that is a good habit to get into in the early stages of dx and meds.

Good luck, and continue to keep us up to date.

I've been following your progress, and I am considering a move to meds if they will help.
When (not if as any good ADDer would say) I get a higher management position, it will require me to focus more.
I can focus for little bits of time, and then as Hardy put it, I GOTTA GO CHASE THAT RABBIT, BRB! LOL
I do that off and on.
My day is split up into 10-15 minute intervals of attention, then on to something else.
It's perfect for an ADDer, but not one that would actually love MONEY and being able to save some of my check for savings.
Sorry, but I'd love a savings one day, and this position won't allow it.
As I've stated on another thread, I'm being noticed for management positions now, and it's a matter of time before I find one and get it.
That takes care of the money problem.
But how much focus would it require?
Could I still bounce around from rabbit to rabbit and focus on each one?
Or would I have to stay on the same one all day?
I might take this up with my General Practicioner in a few weeks, when I go back for a recheck on my weight and blood pressure.
*If he'd bring the ugly nurse in before taking my bp, it wouldn't be so dern high. :D
If he can prescribe something, or give me samples, that might help.
Once I get another position, I have 2 weeks before I transfer to it.
Playing with different meds on a time limit isn't what I call fun.

I'm on IR; I work nights, and my lifeand schedule are soooo irregular, that IR makes more sense for me. And I'm liking it; it seems to help with my main, huge issue, the eating disorder. But it hasn't been a magic cure; it just gives me timeI hadn't sensed before, to question my actions before I do something, rather than later, saying "Aww, heck, why did I do that?" And, it makes me calmer in the face of multiple stressors, so I'm more able to react constructively and not snap like a dry twig when the whole family is needing me at once. That's what it does for me. I'm more free to be who I really want to be. I hope you get the results you dream of!