View Full Version : 5 Stages of the AD/HD Counseling

03-19-03, 05:04 PM
From the book (Adult AD/HD: A Reader-Friendly Guide (

1. Aha, I have it!

2. Grief

3. Support

4. Exploration

5. Dreams

09-24-03, 11:23 PM
Geeze, at that rate I must be on step 13... ugh! :)

Already been through

been there done that

and related stops.

09-25-03, 12:13 AM
I did these in REVERSE!

12-30-03, 09:01 PM
You both worked on the steps in counceling???

12-31-03, 12:55 AM
I recognize some of these as part of the experience...

But I have come to think that I have gotten little well targeted support (myself) and I am in a protracted stage of


with the terms, models, and suggestions thus far given and understood.

Perhaps the steps are a bit different for a "malcontent."

< I've got to grin and bear it! >

12-31-03, 02:02 AM
so that is a "no"?

03-22-04, 03:04 PM
Working with kids can be more like wtf all the way to cool, now do something about it and all points in between.


03-30-04, 07:56 PM
I ought to look up that book. I decided that I had ADD about three weeks ago and went immediately to stage 5. I made an appointment with a doctor that I'm about ten days away from. I know what grief I have. I'm hoping that there is a better way to live with it.

04-07-04, 02:12 PM

I am in the middle of 'Driven to Distraction' and reading it has really helped me understand myself. There were tears of joy while reading it. Look that book up, too. It's worth it.


04-24-04, 09:34 PM
I am scared of this process. My first appointment is in 2 weeks. How is the medication going to effect me. Will I change right away? How will this effect my family and work? I have grief now becuase I waited so long to get help. I know there is not a fix all remedy but any help is better than none! I really dont trust doctors either. Any suggestions on how to prepare for my appointment?

Scared Silly

09-11-04, 02:39 AM
Hmm, I'm probably at about 3.5 right now.

Step 1 came from reading a book about ADD and romance, called, oddly enough, ADD & Romance. I recognized myself in that book right away and went on to read more books about ADD and kept seeing myself in them.

Step 2 was when I realized that I had pretty much wasted about 10 years of my life being a "screw up" when some medication and therapy would have helped a LOT.

Steps 3 and 4 are what I'm doing right now. My therapist is great and so is my psychiatrist. I've made more progress in the past 6 months since starting treatment than I ever thought possible. Even my mom has noticed the difference and commented to me repeatedly about it.

Oh, and P.S. I wouldn't worry about ADD medications changing your personality. You'll still be you, just a calmer, more focused, and possibly more confident you, when you find the right meds. Getting there might take a while, but rest assured, when you find the right meds, it'll be so worth it.

Generally speaking, you'll feel the effects of stims pretty quickly. Antidepressants and such can take a few weeks to really kick in.

12-23-04, 01:23 AM
1. Aha, I have it!

2. Grief

3. Support

4. Exploration

5. Dreams
I need more information. Maybe I should read the book :eek: I know I got to the Aha, I have it. My doctor/therapist is not an adult ADD specialist. She has helped me in more ways than I can count. Maybe with info like this we can learn together.

01-09-05, 03:59 PM
Step 1 for me, was about 4 months ago, when i realized in college how hard everything was, and even though i spent more hrs than in high school studying i still wasn't able to get where i wanted to be. Then i found out that a close friend, also had adult AD/HD. This is a guy who i had admired growing up, he was a firefighter and a paramedic, yet i had no clue.

Step 2- Was when him and I talked about me having ADD, i still didn't quite understand it, while he looked at it as being special, and not different in a negative way. I did, i needed the time to be able to "get over it". I have ADD but it has its pros too.

Support- Would have come from my close friends who know. I told them and they didn't judge me but were happy for finding out whats "wrong" with me. They have been then for me threw all of my mid-term depressions, is what i called it.

I guess step 4 is where i am now.. Looking for more and i do have dreams, i wanna be a nurse and a paramedic, i actually start school for paramedics in 2 months, hopfully i'll get my meds early next week! Im actually looking forward to them, but im courise on how they will affect me.

None of these steps i have done with a physcologist, and i dont think that i need one. Im a happy person, who has accepted her ADD, and it makes me just that much more special than everyone esle.
Wow that feels good to say.

03-14-05, 09:47 AM
I new I had ADD for years before I finally got diagnosed 3 weeks ago. I pretty much went through all the stages before going. I just kept putting off making an appointment because of a fear of doctors. I only go when I absolutely have to, I get nervous around percieved power figures. I always seem to see myself as a child when talking with them and I am 33.:rolleyes:

I had the AHA in college, while studying special ed. The grief I never really dealt with because I found such joy in understanding myself. Acceptance came from friends and my husband who just said so, you are ADD, so whats new. I have spent the 11 years since college reading up and learning all I can, and now that I have finally seeked help I dream of one day learning to operate somewhat normally in this world.:D

03-28-05, 08:46 PM
Well I have to disagree with the five steps that you posted of
1. Aha, I have it!

2. Grief

3. Support

4. Exploration

5. Dreams

Replace them with

1. Aha, I have it!

2. Celebrate having this blessing!

3. Discover what my special ADD creative blessings are

4. Define the nature of my drawbacks

5. Create the world that I will enjoy and where I will prosper, because I get to use my special ADD creative blessings and avoid my ADd drawbacks.

6. Celebrate some more because the normals whish they could be like me.

If you look at the special gifts we ADDers have because of our ADD you will understand how blessed we are. The normals (I just love that saying. I read it here on this forum) labeled ADD as a "Disorder" because we do not fit their sense of order and they are most often disturbed by our gifts and behaviours.

Yet, ADDers rarely feel or react to the "Disorder" characteristics of other ADDors.

When two ADDers converse on a common subject they are rarely disturbed by the other ADDer. Both ADDers can easily keep pace mentally with the other. Both can and do switch subjects on the fly with very little, if any confusion by the other. Both can focus on the desired subjects for a long time. Both are at the same higher intelligence level to be able to follow each other with ADD logic. They rarely get bored during the conversation. They do not have to finish the other persons sentence, because the other person talked or thought too slow.

ADD should be called Attention Expansion Advantage (AEA). We have unbelievable advantages over the normals because of the much more acute and less limited range of our five senses, and the speed of our brains to process the additional information for our use. The creative capacities and energy drives of AEA/ADD people have proven to be remarkable.

I have AEA/ADD and am very happy I do. It has provided me with far more success, fun, power, and even wealth, than I would have ever imagined without AEA/ADD.

So, grieving over discovering that a person has ADD is like being set free from prison, and feeling sorry for not being able to stay with the inmates who are still in (the normals). I would much rather be free from the normals and interact with them on my terms.

Once you discover and understand the wonderful gifts you have because of your AEA/ADD, you too will rock and roll, and have a bll doing it.

That's all for now.

03-31-05, 09:51 PM
What I've seen presented more than once in terms of counseling with ADHD kids (this excludes Inattentive type) is the use of Family therapy to help teach behavior managment techniques.

Using a positive reinforcement/rewards based program in concert with a natural and logical consequences model , directed towards helping to structure their home environment has been shown to work for behavior change/improvement. Actually this balanced approached, as opposed to an all negative approach of only taking things away and grounding, etc.,works very well well.

There are other techniques you can combine with this, but the Family therapy model to teach behavior managment strategies is the main focus. Ever since Door County, I have been doing Family therapy exclusively with ADHD kids.

05-16-05, 09:41 PM
A spiral staircase was offered to me as a model for thearaputic growth.

Issues can be themes that emerge repeatedly. Progress is getting better at recongnizing and resolving them.

My life hasn't been linear. I've covered some of those steps more times then I can count. Skipped over or avoided others only to be force back to deal with them.

Guess it's just another way I have trouble following directions. ;)


Moody Blonde
04-25-06, 11:49 AM
So, grieving over discovering that a person has ADD is like being set free from prison, and feeling sorry for not being able to stay with the inmates who are still in (the normals). I would much rather be free from the normals and interact with them on my terms.

I needed to be reminded of that Hawkeye! Thank you! :D

11-02-07, 04:44 PM
I like your 5 steps list becuase its a mix of positivity and pessimism. Which is reality.

10-21-08, 06:35 AM
1. relief because it explains alot of your problems that you previously thought were your fault
2. sadness because you had to deal with so much crap thrown your way and it wasnt your fault and no one can go back and undo it and they probably will never understand
3. being ****ed due to the bs you endured cause of it
4. reframing said bs in a more balanced way taking the good with the bad
5. accepting yourself and condition and moving on with your life

10-21-08, 08:03 PM
once again. ur posting is GENIUS!!

09-24-10, 06:37 PM
1. I have it!!!
2. I am still grieving.
3. I have not been able to find support and feel very alone. This keeps me grieving and deepens my depression. So I get stuck on 3. I can not even imagine "Dreams".

09-16-11, 02:30 AM
I was diagnose about 4 months ago. I think I'm still trying to figure out if it's true that I'm ADHD. I guess I'm still at step one of this. I went all my life without meds.