ever sence ive been on my meds and also a little before that ive noticed... i really cant keep eye contact i have no idea why but when i look into thier eyes and they look back i cant keep it for more them maby 2-4 seconds because idk i just freak out or something i just NEED to look somewhere else... only person ive ever really been able to keep eye contact with was my ex g/f of a year or so and sence im back in the dating game and finnaly on meds i could really use some answers and advice here thanks a ton in advance

MrJello~~this is a common problem in a lot of people really. Honestly, it is just something you have to practice and get comfortable with. From the other side, breaking eye contact is a signal of weakness (dont get me wrong, Im not calling you weak). Perhaps it is just the thought of it being uncomfortable that is making you nervous. Practice practice practice. I had the same problem, and I had to keep focusing on keeping the eye contact. It helps me to focus directly on one eye of the other person, then switch back and forth. That way your eyes are still moving, but you are maintaining eye contact. Good luck amigo!

I go through the same thing, my eyes love to wander.

if i make eye contact i have to be 'thinking about' making eye contact which is distracting from the conversation.

This is a tough one actually :D

I think I recall a rather large thread on this subject, i'll take a look for ya.

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=25830&highlight=Eye+contact

large indeed - 52 replies

I may re-read it as well.

have fun ;)

I have the same problem with eye contact when people talk to me I usually look at the ground or at other people.

I read recently somewhere that autistic minds (which ADD minds arguably are) incorrectly percieve eye contact as a threat of violence, even from the most well-known loved ones.

I have the same problem and its also focal in my search of meds.

Strattera -- eye contact is EASY. I fell in love with eye contact after taking strattera.

Dexedrine works better for me but destroys eye contact ability, I've wondered if an anti-anxiety drug would help and want to find out.

In my best opinion, it takes time and practice to get good at it. For me I had to practice really hard to get better and better at doing it. Maybe you should practice with people you are familar with and work your way to doing it to people you don't know as well...

It takes time but it did work for me. Best of luck,
Andy...

I second McHuman's comment. Strattera cured my eye contact problem overnight. It feels like it's calming out the restless feeling we get that make us HAVE to look away.

You say you notice this problem more since you went back on meds. Maybe your meds aren't very well balanced out right now and this is a sign. Sometimes a combo can be good-- some people take Strattera with a small dose of stimulant. Why don't you talk to your doc about this and see if he/she has any ideas.

You'll get it down... good luck!

I have a form of high functioning autism and no matter how comfortable I am with a person, I can't look them in the eye when I am talking to them. I don't know what it is, I just find it to be very intimidating. My chem teacher INSISTS I look him in the eye when I am talking to him, and he makes a big deal about it, but I just can't do it. Even when I was medicated, it didn't help with the eye thing.

What is it you have, Aspergers or something else?

This is interesting...
I have noticed that I can not keep eye contact with people very long. I literally forget what I am saying. In order to keep the thoughts flowing smoothly I am looking all over the place, but keep returning to their eyes frequently, so it gives the illusion of eye contact.
I've often wondered if other people notice this about me when I'm talking to them.

What is Startatta? A medication?

Strattera is a fairly new non-stimulant medication used to treat ADD

ever sence ive been on my meds and also a little before that ive noticed... i really cant keep eye contact i have no idea why but when i look into thier eyes and they look back i cant keep it for more them maby 2-4 seconds because idk i just freak out or something i just NEED to look somewhere else... only person ive ever really been able to keep eye contact with was my ex g/f of a year or so and sence im back in the dating game and finnaly on meds i could really use some answers and advice here thanks a ton in advance
I know exactly where you're coming from. There is nothing I hate more than eye contact; it makes me completely nervous. Not only eye contact, but just people staring at me. I just want to scream "LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE, WILL YOU?!"

But the thing is, I have friends who love eye contact, and will keep tapping me until I look at them. I also sit near these kids I don't like in my science class, who know I don't like eye contact, and don't stop staring. It drives me crazy!

I see this with my students all the time!

I think some people avoid eye contact because they are shy and in some cases it has nothing to do with any particular disorder! although I've noticed in other ADDer's that eye contact is more limited than in those who are Non ADD.

I have SID and ADHD (I'm not Aspergers or Autistic) but when I was younger eye contact was an issue for me as well and I remember the horrid sensory feeling I got when I did give eye contact and I also remember everyone around me making a really big issue about it and I found myself giving eye contact just to please others, since I've gotten older it's improved a lot but I find my eyes do flitter around (as I'm very easily distracted) and I'm not fully giving eye contact and I'm glad to say that it no longer gives me the discomfort that it used to when I was younger.

Selena

I love looking into people's eyes and smiling brightly, just to watch their own eyes light up in spite of themselves. There are some people that I can see the basis of their thoughts in their eyes. And I seemed to have a key ability to understand their nature when I look into their eyes.

It is a contact sport really. You should gaze into your loved one's eyes for about 15 seconds without saying anything and see if you can feel what I call "a connection". It is a flutter of the heart thing and it is really neat.

Calicogirl.

I think the "romantic" eye contact is a little different to the general eye contact...I think almost anyone even those who have trouble with eye contact have engaged in this particular "sport" at some time or another.

Selena

Just trying to be helpful with the posts that stated they were going to try with loved ones. :(

Calicogirl.

You WERE being helpful!!!!! I was just saying that people in romantic situations seem to have more eye contact when in love.

Selena:)

Ohh gosh.. the eye contact thing. I can last about 3 seconds before I start to feel extremely uneasy and have to look away.

This topic reminds me of this class I took when I was a teen (I forget what exactly) but in it the teacher had us do these exercises where everyone in the room would pair up and we would have to sit in chairs turned towards each other and stare into each other's eyes and not say anything for a whole minute. I was squirming like crazy while everyone else was just calm and normal as if they were just watching TV. That's when I first realised I was weird. :faint:

Ohh gosh.. the eye contact thing. I can last about 3 seconds before I start to feel extremely uneasy and have to look away.

This topic reminds me of this class I took when I was a
What this is reminding me of is the fact that, now that I'm on an SSRI instead of Dexedrine, as it turns out depression is more why people suck at life as opposed to ADD, I make eye contact not just because I kinda wanna, but its like an automatic response and doesn't feel the tiniest bit uncomfortable.

What this is reminding me of is the fact that, now that I'm on an SSRI instead of Dexedrine, as it turns out depression is more why people suck at life as opposed to ADD, I make eye contact not just because I kinda wanna, but its like an automatic response and doesn't feel the tiniest bit uncomfortable.Oh I have big bouts of depression. And its getting worse not better with age.

get yourself an SSRI, they are AWESOME!

It's interesting to read that other people have a similar problem that I have often faced. Before starting Adderall XR, I wasn't able to maintain eye contact more than a few seconds, despite understanding its importance in verbal communication.

For me, though, this problem was more about an inability to process the content of what someone was saying along with his/her facial expressions and formulate a response to what was being said.

I would often lose my focus on what was being said or frequently draw a blank when it came to replying to multiple sentences that were spoken to me. It helped me to look away because processing/getting distracted by facial expressions was no longer an issue; i just ignored facial expressions.

On Adderall, however, I have noticed that I have no problem maintaining eye contact and communicating verbally... undoubtedly, it has done wonders for relationships inside and outside the workplace.

lol i have noticed that i do that to .I usually look at there hands or what ever they are holding.I do not think that I was always like that .When i keep eye contact I feel like we are staring at each other it is weird.I try to keep eye contact just so that they know that i am paying attion to them

i either cant look at someone or i stare into their eyes. I think I'm searching for a response or trying to figure them out. People's eyes tell you alot about the person they are. Well they do to me.

I used to avoid it when I was young, but I basically starting forcing myself to do it so it has become second nature now. It's to the point where I feel weird if I'm not making eye contact with random people when I'm walking around.

I look at peoples mouth when they are talking to me. Or is that usual? When I have eye contact with them I look away after a while and become embarrased.

I always look down because i find that when they look at me in the eyes i find it kind of threatning

We are not supposed to keep eye contact for more then 3 seconds. Human nature.
People that make too much eye contact freak me out srsly.. I need my space.

I used to avoid it when I was young, but I basically starting forcing myself to do it so it has become second nature now. It's to the point where I feel weird if I'm not making eye contact with random people when I'm walking around.

Lol me to! Its not like im paranoid, but I become paranoid after not ,making eye contact. Its so mechanical to walk past a member of the species without a look of recognition. Not even animals, heck not even insects do that. I think its a sign of a failing society.

Even with people you know, most of them are not able to look you in the eyes without looking away after 3 seconds wich is caused by paranoia I think

We are not supposed to keep eye contact for more then 3 seconds. Human nature.
People that make too much eye contact freak me out srsly.. I need my space.

"not supposed to" freaks me out, who told you that? what a sad sad state of afairs. What does freak out mean? Why does it make you feel awkward?

"not supposed to" freaks me out, who told you that? what a sad sad state of afairs. What does freak out mean? Why does it make you feel awkward?


I watched a show in the discovery channel..
Basically they said its a natural thing to look away and its hard to maintai direct eye-contact for more than 3 seonds.. and people who look into your eyes too much make you uncomfortable/awkward..
ANywayz.. I do look into people's eyes! just not too much direct contact you know/?... I guess i should work on it...

ever sence ive been on my meds and also a little before that ive noticed... i really cant keep eye contact i have no idea why but when i look into thier eyes and they look back i cant keep it for more them maby 2-4 seconds because idk i just freak out or something i just NEED to look somewhere else... only person ive ever really been able to keep eye contact with was my ex g/f of a year or so and sence im back in the dating game and finnaly on meds i could really use some answers and advice here thanks a ton in advance

I'm like the total opposite of you. When I take my meds, I can focus intently on something. When I don't take them... well, I kind of stop paying attention every 10 seconds or so, lol.