a black hole, but i don't mind it. it takes away pressure but at the same time it's very bad. i just want to quit. it's just so easy to quit...why struggle any longer? gosh - life sure sucks sometimes.

Xyser....

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. Not to pry...but since you brought it up, would you like to expound on what sucks so bad and what you are getting sucked into that feels like a black hole?

You wanna talk about it? Cause the floor is yours?

wow i feel so stupid talking about this. LOL it's not like i'm not used to it..uh. i just hate sounding like a drama queen.

i hate going to school, trying really hard and then getting c/d/f's. i've always been that kind of kid, but i have my moments. i hate answering questions but i hesitate sometimes since i'm normally wrong. i hate trying to do something hard, and i try but my work doesn't show my effort. i hate a lot of things and normally i hide it/keep the negative things in the back of my mind. these last week/months have been worse though. why even try something if you know you'll fail? that's somewhat how i'm thinking atm...

i didn't go to school for the last three days but i'm planning on going tomorrow...i'm just done dealing with life but i have to keep going on. i wouldn't mind dropping out and getting my ged but i'd kill myself if i did that. i hate how i need to eat sweet things and junk to feel better. why can't i feel good "by myself?"

i hate feeling stupid - i know i'm not - but it's in my mind whenever i fail. i hate when people tell me to try harder but i really am. hate is a common thing...i'm trying not to dwell on it, but every once in awhile it comes out. waking up in the morning, crying my mind out makes the day so much more worse. i live in a rainy area, i hate the rain. i love it, but it makes me so sad(even though rain is pretty..) it's just like...metally i'm sad and then rain is like the physcal sadness.

i wish i wanted to do things...instead i have to in order not to end up how i don't want to be like. i'm glad i have supportive family and friends...if not i'm sure i'd be a gonner. lastnight...er..two nights ago i drank, drank more and i felt so good. i hate drinking..but not really..i just hate how i have to do stupid things to just feel "happy" for no reason.

i hate so many things and i hate how im talking about them. hate hate hate...haha


frustration sucks. i like to say..."reality has woken me up. Today doesn't look good and tomorrow isn't looking good either. life sucks." it's so true.

Wow! You need a vacation. Get away from the things that make you feel negative.Clear your mind a bit. Maybe if you can't do a vacation go somewhere different, just to get a different perspective.:)

LOL tell me about it. safsjdlf

Xyser,

Well hon...sounds like you have are having a tough time. Sorry to hear it.

Are you on medication? In counseling? Have support outside of here? Maybe a coach or peer coach buddy? Sounds like there's some work that needs to be done. But I can tell you, I wasn't dx until I was an adult and I missed out on a lot of things ...I droppeed out, for some of the same reasons. I REGRET it more than I can say. Many of the things I grew up and want to do, I can't because of dropping out and only having a GED.

And I got into the whole party scene...REGRET that too! Lost a lot of friends (literally) and myself along the way. It took me until my late 20's early 30's to get it back, by then it was too late to do so many things I dreamed of when I was young. Don't give up yet. There are some more things you can do to help yourself out. The first thing you have done. You are talking to people about it. Then you need to take baby steps and start sorting it all out and setting small goals to start building your self -esteem...

Have you been over in our teen section? TEENS AND YOUNG ADULTS WITH ADD/ADHD (http://www.addforums.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=86) or http://www.addforums.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=313

Livinginchaos & Tracy are wonderful. And I am sure you can find some other's who are closer to your age that can really help you out, understand where you are right now...and give you some pointers.....

Not that us old people won't help....we understand, we have all been there...and most of us..as you can see made it to the other side...but sometimes it helps when people are right there with you...check out the teen side..and see if you can find someone to buddy up with to help you out?


Take care Xyser :)
....
{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}} from an old lady who has been there.

Oh, I wish I came accross your post earlier! I felt this way throughout HS.
What do you do when it seems like trying isn't enough... I am so fragile when it comes to my self-esteem academically. I purposely didn't try so that no one could sincerely lable me as a "C,D or F" student.

I was in special ed, and was underminded. Eventally the whole environment got me thinking that I was actually "a little less than and limited." Since everyones an individual and nothing more or less, things got frustrating when people thought otherwise. So I racked up all my credits, went to summer school, graduated and got my diploma my Jr. yr. Then I went straight to jr college, and it's more about bringing out the best in yourself as an individual...I have no regrets except one; should have left earlier but everyone isn't me. I advise you to do what makes you or will make you happy. Your going through alot, you deserve it.

I've taken this semester off and everyone thinks im a lost kid. I think we're taught in school that there's just this "one right way", and if you don't fit into it your a victom of a disability...or that your just simply wrong.

Try not to focus on what you don't want more than what you do, because if you spend your energy fighting against what you don't want it causes resistence. Make a goal, deam a dream and if you want it? Go get... You don't have to proove anything to anyone but yourself. Just think about what they'll think of you once you make it! It makes life an adventure, it gives you a purpose and a reason to wake up each morning and get closer to paradise...builds confidence. It's helped me alot. This way, when things arn't working out right you'll think "how can i fix this so that i can contribute this expirence to my life."

I have a list of goals above my bed thats in my face every morning. 2years ago, my parents thought I was too ambitious, but more then half of the goals that were on it have been completed! I've proven my point to them and surprisingly myself.

Give your life meaning by finding deep meaning in you. I could careless about a stupid letter grade, i mean come oon.... C,D,F? Your worth so much more than that, you cant change the world without adding value to it. Thats the cool thing about it, everyone has something different to give!! :-). If you be yourself and believe in yourself then you can feel good about yourself. Nobody can control your happiness but you...Don't quit.

I hope there will be a light of some kind headed your way soon. Hang in there!

Take care!

~Ali