I have been sober for four years and I am currently seeing my old clinical nurse practioner. She prescribes me lexapro and strattera. She is not an adhd specialist. I have been realizing that being sober is not enough. My adhd is interferring with my daily living. My clinical nurse practioner would NEVER agree to treat me with stimulant medications. Although I am cautious I really think now is the time to tackle my add problems... I want an expert in the field to help me and not be juegemental of my past. (not under prescribe stimulants or over prescribe other drugs) Additionally when I was diagnosed in college my psychatrist ran some tests but I don't know what ones and I can't get my files b/c he left the practice and took his files with him. I would like to get "official" testing and documentation of my adhd and a possible LD...additonally I would love some coaching on several thing that reek havoc in my life....no short term memory, losing things, problems with managing money, disorganization, motivation, getting on a schedule... Help me how do I find a doctor that understands the comorbid substance abuse and adhd. I don't want to look like I am seeking drugs, and I want to feel safe, like I can be totally honest with them. Does anyone have any expirience with this? Please share I feel really alone and vunerable!

Welcome to the forums, I'm sorry I don't have personal experience that directly matches yours... however, it seems to me that there are an almost infinite number of medical professionals out there, doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, and many of them have expereince with ADD.

How are you paying for your medical help?

It seems to me that if you can cover that, you shouldn't have any difficulty finding the professional you need. Just go through the Yellow Pages until you find one that sounds to YOU like they have a good understanding of ADD.

However, there may be other Bostonians here at the forums as well, I would keep listening just in case, maybe one of them can recommend somone...

soberw/adhd. Sorry it took me a while to find this thread.

Glad to have you aboard. I hope you can find a home here. There is a lot of wisdom and compassion to go with the knowledge here.

I am sober just about 13 years now and it wasn't until two years ago that I got a diagnosis for ADHD. Because I was in pretty close contact with my sponsor and going to regular meetings it never really sunk in that meds might be a serious option.

I pursued the counselling route two years ago and the relationship developed much along the lines of the coaching perscribed for ADHD types. It was tremendously effective. I was very very happy with the results and so were my family and friends. I had made progress on things that I'd fought with for so so long. I was greatly relieved to find some of these long standing points could be moved.

Making a long story short, I got separated from my coach and in four months or so all my success fell apart. I resorted to meds after consulting a physicion who was familiar with the details and began trials with Methylphenidate and now Dexedrine. I expect to begin trials with Welbrutin today if I have my way. Now I'm back coaching and all sould be back on track eventually. Coaches are good for me.. really really good for me! < g >

I too was concerned about addictions and doing these drugs. I can't speak for you and your experience but the efforts I've made in reducing my ego have left me in a position where these trials seem to be stable and productive. I have consulted with the elders around me without fear. I've not met with much support, but I'm just concerned that I not be doing this in isolation from my peers.

Everyone at home is happy with the drugs trials. I hope to get back to a position where I don't need the drugs but am now not afraid to use them for the tools that they are. It's saved a lot of grief at home and work over the last two and a half months.

Hope you can catch us up on your progress and ideas.

Cheers! Ian.

Hi...

I have some 12 step connections...

You are right to protect yourself with disclosure and honesty, and to avoid doing things that those you have put in places of guidance would prohibit (are you mind reading? Did you ask? Did they use their own mouth or your imagination to say they would be against it?)

Other professionals may have different opinions in your case. It only matters when you enter an agreement, freely and officially for them to provide this guidance professionally. This is the reality factor. IMHO.

It sounds like you have your own concerns as well.

May I reflect that people who are unmedicated frequently self medicate with similar drugs.

Bad habbits can be built when self medicating. You have good cause to avoid "inappropriate" drug use. It can be dangerous in many ways.

But if your sober mind is telling you that you should explore stimulant medications for a real problem, I'd suggest that you pursue it through official, not unofficial, channels. It is the encumbrance of "official" channels which offers the meager safety and security found in professionally prescribed vs. self prescribed medications.

If you were abusin with stimulants, your problem is tougher, especially if you were getting "something extra" from them.

I use caffeine, and ritalin, and adderal without addictive problems.

Desoxyn is "crytsal meth" by prescription and i found it was very smooth, easier on me than the other stimulants, but it wore off too fast, and the drop after wear off was worse than where I was to begin with... I noticed in myself a desire and practice to shorten and increase the dosage, and as i did at first within appropriate paramenters, I observed that the path looked addictive in nature to me... things were going to get too short too fast. I wasn't high, I was fighting staying away from the subsequent down.

So I have most of a bottle of those left.

So, don't feel alone, but don't be alone. along with enlightened sponsors, you need appropriate medical suppervision, and you need to pay attention to and respect your own sense of danger, not safety.

Addicts problems relate to seeking solution or safety from problems or dangers in ways that don't work out well. So, the program says... just don't do it.

"It" can be very simple for some people, more complex for others... but stay public with your drug use (figuratively) and have someone whose job it is to reflect to you when enough has been reached. commit to respect them when they say it.

Set up what you need to... If you need to go by the doctors office to get your pills every morning, see if they will agree to dispense that way.

In any case, what ever you "know" your need to be, make sure you accommodate that. Your fears need to be shared with others you trust, and dealt with "not alone."

Take no wooden nickels.

This is worth what you paid for it: good luck.

Originally posted by Wheel1975
Desoxyn is "crytsal meth" by prescription and i found it was very smooth, easier on me than the other stimulants, but it wore off too fast, and the drop after wear off was worse than where I was to begin with.... I actually had this problem with Concerta. When you have a ten-hour time release and an 18 hour long day, crashing before your day is done is no fun whatsoever. I did keep my dosage exactly as was printed, but goodness, that was no fun. I was never a druggie, but I got a taste of what it was like when I was on the Concerta. So, I stopped taking it altogether, and now am on nothing, which is no fun either. :(

Just read your story. Im new here.... just wanted to let you know. I was a heavy or chronic drinker! Not a drunk but 5-10 beers (canadian beer) every night to try to "shut down" - only got drunk once every year or 2. Doctor said keep it up and i would be alcoholic though.

Diagnosed adhd back in June- very hyper - 40 yr old. Prescribed dexedrine. I rarelly drink at all now except for the neer beer stuff. i no longer need / crave it. It was a surprize to me as i was not aware of this until a few weeks on the meds - I noticed there was still a full keg in the fridge! Thats when I noticed I was no longer "self medicating" I now save $100.00 and dont miss it at all. I will still have a beverage now and then its just not an issue anymore.

I worry i have exchanged one problem for another one.... feel great on the meds - sometimes it feels like there not working. so I stop for a day or 2 - I have a few very bad days then. Addiction or dependance ? Doctor says dependance is ok???? I dont agree but do not have another answer.

Diesel

I have been back on my Dexedrine for 2 weeks other than the weekends and I notice this last weekend I have no energy and I want to go to bed very early (mind you I get up early 5:00 am)

I was thinking its cabin fever waiting for the spring like weather to get out and renew myself in the sun but then this morning I was wondering if it is just the drop off from not taking any for the weekend

Not sure what I am saying or asking so I guess I'm just rambling

later

Garry

Garry

Nice to have a place to ramble aint it!

I wasnt sure either so if the following is not aplicable then please ignore it.

I am noticing a pattern ... If I take the Dex as needed - and take little drug"hollidays" like skipping days here and there and altering the dosage to suit, I notice a tendancy to become "unstable" I hope you know what I mean by that.

Anyway - if i do the same dose every day and at same times... I tend to feel much better. It takes 3-4 days and I seem to get into a flow.... Everything goes very well, moods and sleeping stabalize- I get way more done and a lot less irratable...

This has now happened about a dozen times -

I think best to stay on them all the time - Even though I dont like the idea.

Problem is remembering them - especially in my line of work - there is no schedule per se.

My wife swears by it ... Im much easier to live with.

Bla bla bla ..... Ramble , I feel a tangent comeing on!

Originally posted by diesel
Garry

Nice to have a place to ramble aint it!



Yes to the Ramble

I wasnt sure either so if the following is not aplicable then please ignore it.

I am noticing a pattern ... If I take the Dex as needed - and take little drug"hollidays" like skipping days here and there and altering the dosage to suit, I notice a tendancy to become "unstable" I hope you know what I mean by that.

After being bon it for 3 or 4 days and then stopping for a few days and returning to ADD Foggy brain, I really feel like I am very High like Ive smoked a couple of joints even though I havent


Anyway - if i do the same dose every day and at same times... I tend to feel much better. It takes 3-4 days and I seem to get into a flow.... Everything goes very well, moods and sleeping stabalize- I get way more done and a lot less irratable...


Ditto to all This has now happened about a dozen times -

I think best to stay on them all the time - Even though I dont like the idea.

Id have to think about that

Problem is remembering them - especially in my line of work - there is no schedule per se.

No Problem for me as I like my Happy Pills as I call them Maybe I like them too much

My wife swears by it ... Im much easier to live with.

Yes to that as it mellows me out Big time and gives me clariety of thought

Any chance your going to the Ottawa conference

See the link at the bottom of my post



Bla bla bla ..... Ramble , I feel a tangent comeing on!

Ottawa - no

Im still rebuilding my almost collapsed life! Knowing my problem, And I now realize I have one has helped me put things back together - hopefully perminent this time...

My business was almost Kaput - 1 year ago ... Untill I get things back in shape Im not going to add anything extra to my life


Re: the happy pills comment- I found that they can indead make me happy - I always get happy when "Fog-head" leaves!

At first i thought that it was making me TOO happy - Talked to my doc about this ...its to be expected at first.

Clear head - focus - reward of getting more done - stable mood (I like the stable mood part ) of course you will feel happy.

Most people I guess feel that way all the time - we're not used to that.

I did not realize how miserable I realy was!

hey sober w/ adhd,

i would advise against using stimulant medication. to ANYONE, but also ESPECIALLY to you (and me-- also an addict). While you tell yourself you'll be just fine, the truth is that your body develops a dependency on the drug and you will have a tolerance over time and need to continue raising your dosage to get the same effects. Amphetamines do this to everybody. I suggest you try a 150 mg dose of Wellbutrin instead. It has an amphetamine-mimicking substance in it but does not actually contain any amphetamines. It helps with ADD and depression as well, which is a bonus.

Best of luck,
julia

My situation as bad as it is, is similar to others. Addict and alcoholic, I could claim 20 years of no drinking honestly. I am not so sure about addictive behaviour. 1 yr ago, I was diagnosed ADD put on Adderal which has some good effect, and some bad effects. Since I have been on I have lost my job for finally getting the nerve to call him on the bullyism I had to endure from him and his cohorts for longer than I care to admit. At Christmas, my wife asked for a divorce, claiming tha t I was showing addictive behaviour with this stuff, and it drove her crazy to have it in the house. She was also addicted years ago and we met in aa. I also have Hep c where before adderal I barely had the energy to move out of my own way. I voiced concerns that this was a possiblity with me (the addiction)and my doc knows my whole history. He said other patients were doing well, even as addicts. There is a certain amount of truth to the statement, as quality of life issues are part of the picture. In other words, do benefits outweigh risks. 1 year later on these things, and it is still a debate with me even after some of the above. I pretty much have let meetings go as it is very uncomfortable sitting in an AA meeting with a buzz from this stuff going and it would not be something I talked about in a open meeting, as the hardline AA's love to beat their own little drum about you don''t take anything even if your a** is falling off" (a rather stupid slogan anyway) I have to confess that I probably am addicted, but I feel so much better most of the time and have energy to do physical things. that it is almost worth it but......the flip side has been a nightmare. Lost job, went back to college, high hopes, but soon found out I was probably in over my head in terms of high tech, and scientific background. Squeeked by sith 2.5gpa, 1st quarter, with a lot of help from other students.Divorce heated up 2nd quarter, as did the amount of papers, assignments, tasks in this class so staying up all night started to happen more and more, which is how I studied for my 1st degree, but 30 years younger. Pop some diet pills from helpful overweight co=ed and you sere superman for about36 hrs. I don't know what that was but it was strong. Adderal is much more mellow, but it still is relatively easy to miss one nights sleep and even do fairly well on a quiz or something. But, and this is what happens, to me anyway. the sleep deprivaation starts to make you rummy after a while, so overall what you might have gained in the 8 hrs you didn't sleep, little was retained and the next days production of anything was nil.
My story grows long, but the rub is at the end of the quarter even though you felt you worked hard, you end up with a deficit and this quarter, with the divorce stuff. I got 2 Incompletes and a 0.0 in another class because of assingments not turned in. Kinda like being stuck in a snow bank and spinning the wheels hoping they will grab. My life is such a toilet and I am not sure how much is the medication, how much is coincidence, how much is Gods way of saying wake up you moron. I am now faced with the addditonal bs of fixing last quarters problems, dividing assets and possibly lossing the house I love ,losing income from unemployment, being on academic probation, Its almost like viewing a movie of your life disentegrating, and every thing you do to halt the dam bursting fails. Now I am going to let you guys be the judge. Is this coincidence, addiction, bad luck, karma, not going to aa regularly, doctors who don't understand addiction, the devil, GOd?, George Bush, poor potty training in childhood, my wifes neurosis, my wifes parents, my parents, a convenient way to get drugs that elevate your generally **** poor moods, a legitimate therapy, just some minor setback/side effects. The realization that I have been self medicating for most of my adult life (even coffee is a mild mood elevator) and it has taken me from the time I took my ist drink 12yo to now 55 in July to discover that it really is ADD and the cure is the thing you have been trying to not do for the last 25-30 years. It is so ironic to me to be laughable, and what's really odd is I could see these traits in my whole family, with my father and brother committing suicide at 50 and 42 yo respectively. What's the answer than?? Is this a cosmic joke, where I happen to be the punch line? I only just realized in the last 2 days how we are so similar by reading posts. Try explaining this to college academics judging you, its as if you are an excuse machine and they are going to ferret the truth that you really are just going on panty raids and goofing off or something. Truly, for me, at least I think I am going to have to bail on these medications, because at my age and with my substance abuse history, this has to take a toll. A little like burning the candle at both ends. I welcome advise, criticism, jokes, experience because I do have a strong suspicion that the only way God can reach us is by channeling the information through your hearts and minds and passing it on to those that need it. In my own way that is what this post is about. This has been my experience, the good the bad , the ugly. Actually considering my life I am remarkably healthy because I try to at least eat healthy and take tons of vitamins and certain herbals that probably have keept me alive. All I know is that adderal is a very clean medicine as opposed to the street equivalents of such things. I do hope this tale helps somebody, but it truly does not apply to everybody. I am sure there are tons of ADD folks that this is a miracle product, because I know what you are talking about when describe the various symptoms, distractions, concentration, fear of phones, the whole gamut. I do think that people who specialize in addictive behaviours should take a good hard look at anybody that goes through treatment for signs of this malady. I would like to think there is a guy or gal out there who might happen on to this message, just like I did when I first logged on, and see that medical science has a definition and a treatment for this disorder. And you are not strange, or different, or weak, or all those messages you brain tries to convince you of to chip at any self esteem you might build, or success you want in your life. If someone like that gets the message and the message is "its not your fault, and you are just as special as the person on your right, or the person who pulls straight A's just because they were given the luck of the draw. I have many gifts, and because society wants to classify everybody with acronyms, so it can sort them better, I guess, doesn't mean you are any less valuable on this planet, than Bush, or Reagan, or Ghandi, or Jesus Christ, for that matter. I am learning to value myself for just that. The cool thing about AA was that it freed me up from religious dogma to make conscious contact with a God or Higher Power of my understanding. I ask you this. Given the nature of the universe, can any one person, or any group of people really claim total understanding. In other words your guess is just as valid as anybody elses, including Martin Luther, the Pope, Buddha, and all the others who use God as a way to power on earth. Doesn't make them bad people to do so. But it doesn't make them any closerto God than I am sitting here sharing with others. I could be terribly mistaken myself, but miracles and coincidences start happening that fail explanation. over and over again. I think its happening again to me, and it happens when one surrenders, totally, and in my case, it takes the form of emotional frustration and what they used to call a nervous breakdown. I just do my best to not do it in public. This feels the same way when in 1984 I hit the bottom and frankly told God life sucks and I didn't want to do it anymore at least like I had been. It is an AA prayer of desparation, and people talk of this experience in meetings and it is a common thread. It is total emotional spiritual, mental bankruptcy, and all your best efforts put you there. An absolute surrender with no conditions, deals, put on it. Here I am God, you made me, Now What? Take me back and fix the errors. Call it a recall if you like. This ADD thing is baffling to me, though, and if it explains my self medicating, moods, alcholism, all the recent painful events I am having to endure, for the pleasure of finding out my problem is ADD,,,,,Maybe that is what I am suppose to do. Maybe the whole missions God has for me is to share this with like individuals so that others will find hope strength and will to do their own battle with this. That is exactly how AA started in 1936, one alcoholic sharing with another. and noticing the similarities and than noticing it was possible to stay sober if you did this on a regular basis. I know for a fact that AA is the only method after considerable searching that actually did what it says it can do. Keep YOU sober. I apologize if this offends anybody with a preachy tone, because God knows, I dont know.
It seems the older one gets, the more questions he has for matters such as this. Anyone that claims all the answers, just watch your wallet. Still looking for that magic bullet and was told they are working on it in a lab somewhere in Iraq,,,,they just haven't located it yet, but they will. I wish you all well, ADDlee