I am having a terrible day. I am in the very early stages of treatment and all of the things that I have made excuses for and not dealt with in my life hit me like a brick wall today. I feel like I finally got to peek over that cliff I have been climbing, only to get kicked right down again. Not even kicked by something, cause then I would have a reason to be upset. I feel like I just fell for no reason at all. Add in the female hormones to this and I can't stop crying. It feels good, and I know I need to get it out, but then I start to think about other things I should be doing and then it makes me cry more. argh.

I am happy with my treatment and I am slowly making progress and getting things back on track which I accept and realize that it can' t change almost 30 years of ADD behaviour over night. Even though I know this in my heart to be true, I still can't stop thinking it may be too slow to keep my job (with good reason mind you, but my over analyzing is making it worse).

Thanks for reading my rant, I'll feel better tomorrow (I hope!) here's my question...

So...what do you do when you are having a bad day? I'd cry some more, but now I have a headache! How do you tell yourself it is okay to take time out for yourself even though you have a to-do list that is a mile long? And what do you do to relax when you give yourself that time?

For starters, *hugs*. Being a woman AND being ADD stinks. Like you mentioned, hormones really help muck things up.

I myself had a bad day two days ago. Lots of "ADD moments" through the day, and several putdowns from my Aunt who just found out.

What do I do? Like you, I cry. Then I take a few deep breaths and tell myself that, as much as I may want to, I am NOT superwoman. There will ALWAYS be things at the end of the day that didn't get done. I am what matters most, and if I don't take care of myself first and foremost, then who will do all those things? Surely I can't if I make myself sick from all the stress!

After that, I take a soothing shower, sip some tea, and do something that makes me feel good. For me, its crochet. Even though I can only do it in fifteen minute stints, it still sooths me.

This is what works for me. It may be different for you. Hope it helps!:)

Hi Amythyst,

((Hugs)) from me too. I have had plenty of these days lately and I usually waste the evenings crying over them... AND crying over the fact that I'm wasting my evening. I'm still looking for the perfect way to help myself forget about a bad day.

I would recommend the old standbys and tell you to get some exercise, etc., but I can't follow that advice myself. Lately I'm too stressed out or bummed out to manage a run or a long bike ride.

What I do every day lately is try to find one thing nice to do for myself-- and I tailor it to how bad I'm feeling. I try to use this treat help me do the most ambitious thing I can manage on that day. If it's a really bad day and I don't even want to leave the house, I tempt myself out of the house with an ice cream at Coldstone. If I can force myself to get a little exercise but not leave the house, I put in a relaxing yoga DVD (I like these and I have a few of them). If I'm feeling alone I go visit someone else's desk at work and have a little chat about something.

These are all things that make me feel good for the moment and help me in the long run-- getting outside and getting a little sunlight, getting a little exercise and having a little "people time". But they're still about my speed because I'm working through a lot of things right now. I hope you can find yourself something like this to lift you up!

{{{Hugs}}} from me too. I not only have ADD, I also have Borderline Personality Disorder (Mood/Emotion disorder) I just started meds for ADD and Therapy for the BPD (4 weeks today). My Therapist told me to start a journal and write down everything when I'm having bad days (and good days too). When I'm having a BAD day, to catagorize them into Emotional Mind (Black thinking), Rational Mind (White thinking), and Wise mind (Gray Thinking) (I tend to be Black or White extreme mind thinking and trying to get into the Gray area)

Basically when I'm having a bad day.. I'm 100% in my Emotional mind. So I write my journal down in that section, and I'm also being forced to write in the other categories to 'level my thinking' so to speak. This may be confusing as all get out... but the point is to write down your bad feelings and add some good to it too so then you can see that it's not really as bad as you think it is. It could be much worse. It tends to put you back into perspective. However... the HARD part is trying to go into those other areas when you're really down. I know this therapy is for BPD and emotional disorders... but I think everyone could benefit from a Bad/Good Listed Journal. When you're having Good Days... then put all the good down and skip the bad.. it'll help to go back and see what you did, how your day went and try to notice any triggers that causes bad days and then you can attempt to avoid those triggers in the future.

Hi Amy! {{{{ Hugs }}}} here too! Sometimes ....we need them to smile :)


I call a friend? I watch a funny movie, I take 30 mins out of my day, take a bubble bath, paint my toe nails...do something for me.

Then I write. It's my outlet. I joined the 360 blog with some of the other folks here...and I journal, and write there. Therapy for free.
And sometimes it helps to focus on what you HAVE ACCOMPLISHED!

Stepping out and getting help and medication or whatever for ADD or any other issues...is very brave. It's to be commended because there are many many folks out there who never have the courage to do it. So there. YOu are brave :D

It's very common to go through what you are doing. After the initial feeling of AHA..that's what's wrong with me....and now I fit in the box!
Then you kinda go to the next stage...remorse kinda...and regrets...all the lost years..what could I have done better,,sooner.yada yada....

I went through it when I first got dx 12 1/2 years ago with ADD, and again when I got dx with BPDII last year??? Sounds very familiar to me.

I know it's not much, but maybe it will help you to understand this is a normal phase of the journey? And you will be okay. And we are here to support you, if you need it?

If you haven't hit the sticky above, try finding some books to read to help you out. You didn't just get ADD...you've had it. You can't undo everything in one day....You've had ADD your whole life...you have just started to figure out the issues it has caused. Give yourself a break, and take it one day at a time.

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16042

Keep in touch...and keep your chin up. You are not alone... :)

Thanks for all the hugs and ideas. And lots of *hugs* back to all of you! It helps just to hear that other people have similar experiences.

I'll take a look at some of those books... I love buying books, but trying to actually read them is not so good :) Half of the books on my shelf are yet to be read or have book marks after the first chapter that I read months ago!

I actually started writing my post last night in word but it started getting too long, so then I just kept writing whatever I felt and saved it as a journal thing. I even stopped crying while I was writing it...it made me feel better for a bit even just to get the thoughts out of my head even if no one else was going to see them.

I'm feeling a bit better today...still stressed, but getting stuff done. Each thing I get done, no matter how small makes me feel a little more confident and a little less stressed. Just have to keep plugging away.

I had one just last night. It wasn't pretty, but my husband helped me through a lot of things that up until recently I didn't realize I had bottled up. I didn't ever honestly believe in ADD until I saw what a difference the meds and therapy have done for my husband. Now I'm filtering back over my life and figuring out things I did/said that I couldn't understand until I realized it all points to ADD (or something close to.) Life is starting to make sense finally! I agree that a journal will probably help and just know that having a bad day means theres gonna be a good one on the other side :)

Like you said just keep plugging away!

More hugs. And good vibes.

No, you're not Superwoman. But I bet you're pretty darn good. Tihnk of the good things you've done today; think of the ways that the people around you are blessed to have you in their lives.

Now, when I'm having those days, I am at the point that I give myself permission to drop out. I am the hub of my little Universe and it gets to be overwhelming; I sometimes just can't process it all. And when I try to carry on anyway I WILL screw up; forget I have a pot on the stove and burn it up, leave water running somewhere... pick a forgetful, inattentive mistake, and I will make it. And darn it, oh well, I'm not perfect, I'm rather flawed, and I'm all they have to work with. If they want someone better they'll have to be it, themselves. And my family has pretty much accepted that this is how it is, now. If your family isn't there, that's something they may have to be smacked upside the head with. They might have the delusion that they are the center of the Universe and that needs to be clarified; Mom is, because they keep dragging the Mom into any and all things, like "Where's my gym bag" and "What's for dinner" and "what does 'colloquial' mean"; if they keep dragging you into the center of it all, like they can't do a durn thing without you, that means you get the benefits of it, too.

Employers are another thing. That can be a problem; that is why I often put my family on the back burner, so I can be whole and functional for work. Employers can get rid of you much more easily than your family can, and your family has to accept that truth, because you're working TO TAKE CARE OF THEM, right?

Feel good about yourself. THink of all the good things you do, and how much better you are then so many other people out there. Really, you are. I've been a court reporter and now I'm a nurse; I've seen lots of dysfunctional people, intimately; believe me, you're BETTER. Trust me on this. And there's all those less worthy people out there managing, and feeling just fine about themselves, operating under the delusion that they're worthy! Having self-esteem and everything, for no valid reason! Like my ex-son-in-law; truly, he had no reason for his wonderful self-image, but that never bothered him. If people like him can feel good about themselves, I say, darn it, good hard-working, caring people like we are, are entitled to our fair share of self-esteem. Try it; think about all the self-absorbed boneheads you know who feel terrific about themselves, and it's got no basis in reality! And then, give yourself some luvvin', you desrve it.

Well it's good to know that I'm not the only one who cries alot. My bf is getting tired of it all and I dont think he understands how my mind works. He doesn't understand why I'm so stressed out and why I can't get everything done. First he told me that I was being lazy, then when he finally got it through his head that I wasn't he told me I need to break up my time better and schedule things. This seemed very logical and I tried but I just couldn't manage to follow the schedule. I think it's hard for people to take this ADHD thing seriosuly with me and it all seems liek excuses. Sometimes I even feel guilty and liek it just is. Then I have weeks like last week, where I averages 5 or less hours of sleep, excluding Thursday, when I didn't sleep at all. Now today I'm off the pill for "that time" and feel like I'm gonna cry just writing this. I'm tired of "feeling sorry for myself"