Last night, for the third time in the eight months that I have lived in my apartment, I have started a faucet, became distracted and ended up flooding my apartment, as well as the two tenants below me.

I feel so embarassed, demoralized and hopeless. The tenants below are obviously so angry with me and are demanding that I get evicted. I;ve been avoiding my landlords calls because I;m just feeling so low and I just can;t tolerate the berating and lecture he has every right to give me. I just feel so stupid because the two previous times I assured him that it wouldn;t happen again and he took a chance on me. I called in sick to work today and haven;t left my apartment because I have been so scared to run into anyone in my building. I have no idea what the damage is. At least this time I have renters insurance.

I guess Im just looking for some encouragement, or understanding and figured this was the best place to find it. This is such a major setback.

Hello,

I am so sorry for you .... I see that you live in Vancouver. I live in North Vancouver. I dont know what to say to make you feel better... I just know that I have been in alot of simular situations and they suck... Dont hide from people that just makes you feel helpless and alone.... I know that there is a way we can figure this out and help you ... At least you have insurance so that is one less thing we have to worry about...
Thinking Happy Thoughts for you and I wish there was more I could do to help....

ShaeD,

I live in the US & I don't know anything about the Laws, Rules, ect in Canada. Even here in the US they vary greatlly depending on the State, city & the Apartment/Apartment Complex itself.
The only thing that I do know is that here in the US before a landlord can evict you, if you don't go willingly, both of you must go to Court & appear before a Judge. The Landlord will state the reason(s) for wanting you evicted & you will get a chance to tell the Judge why you do not believe that you should be evicted. Although, under circumstances like non payment of rent for a specific time frame. The Judge must go by what the Law books says about non payment of rent & not how he may personally feel that things should go. But, this is not your situation.
The only thing that I can think of is if there are any Laws in Canada governing the rights of those with Disabiities, then you might be able to use that as a reason for not being evicted. It's not like you were just plain careless & didn't care about the consequences. Your ADHD does have an effect on how easily you're distracted. And if you take meds during the day & they are wearing off or have worn off by the time of night that this happened. You might be able to use that to your advantage.
We have alot of members that live in Canada. I'm sure that there will be a few that have some good advice for you...I only wish I did.
The embarrassed, demoralized & hopeless feelings that you're feeling right now....I do know what that is like. As well as the hiding & avoiding the phone calls & seeing your neighbors. But just try & remember that your ADHD is the reason that you did what you did & if your neighbors had ADHD like you do that it could have just as easily have happened to them...irregardless of what they might say. And the same thing goes for you landlord.
Please let us know how things turn out.

BlessedLady

Princess,

Thank you. I was really touched by your kind words and concern. Reading your post was the first time today that I felt some relief from my relentless self-hating.
I feel a little bit less fragile and I am nearly ready to call my landlord. Its just so frustrating because the last couple of months have felt so promising. It just feels like the universe is conspiring to put me back in my place. I know it will work out, it always does, but empathy and kindness definetely makes it easier. Again, much gratitude.

Oh Honey I totally understand the feeling of everything going good then "BAM" life goes to the pooper.... Hope it is all good.... Here is a BIG HUG for you .... Talk to me anytime... Either here or PM me...

Princess,

Absolutely. I really appreciate the support!


BlessedLady,

Thank you so much for such thorough advice and info! After it happened, I was so embarrased and distressed that I just wanted to dissapear. Actually my first impulse was to try to orchestrate a midnight move. Now that I have some distance and perspective it;s reassurring to know that I may have the law on my side in cases like this. I am taking Adderall and it had worn out at the time of the incident.

My landlord isnt evicting me, meaning I have more than 10 days to move out, but it was pretty much agreed that it was best for everyone if I move out. I don;t trust myself enough to continue living in an apartment without drainage holes in the sinks and bathtubs and my poor neighbours shouldn;t experience more stress caused by my ADHD-ness.

Also, after such a self-loathing day, I really needed to be reminded that I am not my ADHD. Thank you.

Also, after such a self-loathing day, I really needed to be reminded that I am not my ADHD. Thank you.
No Sweetie, you're not your ADHD. The ADHD just makes things more complicated sometimes & sometimes its one thing after another before we figured out how the first thing got there. Know what I mean ?

Please let us know how it goes.

BlessedLady

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this situation. It could easily have happened to any of us:(

Though not nearly as serious, I did everything I could to screw up my relationship with my last landlord, including constantly locking myself out, flushing forks and other non-natural things down the toilet, and leaving a big mess. This same thing could have easily happened to me, so I'm feeling so much empathy for you right now.

Do you know a place you can move to?

Hey, Sorry you have to move that really bites... But you are right to look for someplace that has drain holes.... And you are definatly not your ADHD but that is what makes you special... I know that sounds hocky and stupid but I love (at times) that I have ADHD it makes life more interesting... Anyway keep your chin up and keep in touch....

I flooded my 3rd floor apartment kitchen multiple times when I lived in Denver years ago. My kitchen was very small, barely enough room to open the fridge door, and no dishwasher. The first flood happened when I ran the faucet and went to check my email, which led to me spending about 20min on the net before I realized I'd left the water running and the drain stopped up. The water had just crested the sink and was all over the counter and a bit on the floor.

The second time it had been spilling onto the floor for about 5 min and I fell on my butt as my foot hit the wet linoleum floor, yelling "oh crap oh crap oh crap" - thud!

The third or fourth time the water was about 1 inch high on the floor and had started draining into the apt below. A maintainance guy was working in the apt at that exact time and as I was throwing every towel I owned onto the floor there was a loud knock on the door. "I think your pipes are leaking, so I need to take a look in your kitchen." One month earlier my wife, then-girlfriend, had moved in with her cat, pets weren't allowed, so I couldn't let him in and risk him seeing the cat. I told him I was sorry, I was doing dishes and spilled a lot of water into the cabinet below, which is why it was leaking into the apt below. I apologized and asked if there was any damage. He laughed and told me not to worry about it.

...and I never did dishes again...

Good luck with your move, I'm so glad I don't have to deal with landlords anymore!

In the UK older sinks and baths without overflows were normally used with a completely different type of plug.....you still get them on commercial sinks in hotel kitchens etc....to stop forgetful stressed plongeurs flooding the kitchens.

Basically the plug is a long tube that sticks in the plughole and is shorter than the rim of the bath/sink.....water rises to level of top of tube ....then flows down tube and into drain...simple....effective and easily made. If the tube gets in the way when bathing....just pull oit out and replace with normal plug.....simple

I do a lot of landlord/tenant work (I'm an attorney). If I can help, feel free to ask.

O.k., I'll play devil's advocate here; someone has to do it. Do you have a plan to prevent the behaviour which caused the flooding from happening again?

I realize people are trying to be supportive, but having a disability means squat if someone's behaviour is repeatedly damaging the property of others. Someone with Alzheimer's does not carry on, carrying on just because they are disabled.

From: http://apartmentguide.ca/Renters/ending-by-landlord.asp

Unreasonable Tenant's Conduct
Landlords may end tenancies (effective after 1 month) for a wide range of misconduct and illegal activities that include but are not limited to the following:

excessive damage to the landlord’s property
jeopardizing security, safety or physical well-being of another occupants

I call it self-sabatoge & I do it all the time!!!!

I love hard-boiled eggs. I forget I'm hard-boiling eggs. Have you ever witnessed the result of forgetting that there are eggs boiling on the stove?

I've scrubbed a few ceiling in my day.

I've done it at my ex's mother's house. They were mean, hateful people to begin with.
Example: I have a hearing deficiency. Ex's 25 yr old sister: "Oh, I forgot. You're deaf. haha." My self esteem was chipped away by those people. I blame them & my narcissistic ex for my suicidal depression. They were intimidated by my obvious superior intellect (I hope I don't sound egotistical).
They would pick at my tendency to be an airhead. It was like a game to them.

I know that feeling & I sympathize. Hang in there!!

My coping mechanism: I write things on my hand with a sharpy. Really!
"EGGS"

Sometimes complete strangers will see my notes & remind me to pick up coffee. :rolleyes: A great way to flirt with men!!!

I LOVE my ADD!!!

bc

Hi!

I've never flooded anything. That's not true. One time I opened the cupboard door in our bathroom really hard and cracked the toilet tank and it flooded the bathroom.

And...

I once lost my $10,000 inheritance check after my grandmother died. Had to ask for another one. Kinda hard to ask considering we were all getting ready for the funeral.

Drove the tractor in the lake. I was reading and mowing at the same time. Multi-tasking. Reading a book on Women with ADD.

Once took an oral suppository the opposite way because I didn't read the directions.

I hope things are getting better. You are not alone. I am currently living underground because the church ladies are after me. I missed a Sunday School I was supposed to teach because I didn't listen to my messages.

I'm tired of beating myself up. This is who I am and I'm actually pretty interesting. Where would we be without people like us? Life would be pretty boring and mediocre.

Hang in there!

since we are talking about property damage, I started a fire last year, on accident (well the second fire was an accident).

The first one was one of those crazy impulsive moments. It was the last day of class for the semester, and I was sitting in my room with two friends. We were holding our course books, and I got that crazy look in my eye and said 'let's burn them!' Friend #1 was the accomplice (sp?) and said 'yes, let's burn them!' and she started ripping up her course book along with me. Friend #2 was the enabler, and for some reason happened to have matches on her, and said 'here are some matches!'. We threw our ripped up books in the sink and lit them on fire. Then Friend #1 liked it so much she wanted to add more paper, and that's when it got out of control. The flames got really high, and if I wasn't slightly crazy (as should be obvious by now) and quick in a crisis, that fire could have gotten totally out of hand. I stuck my hand through the flames to the faucet and turned it on. Afterwards, everyone thought we were getting high because of all the smoke. Sadly, we were all completely sober, so we couldn't even blame drugs on this behavior.

The second time wasn't so amusing. I fell asleep on my loft bed with a hallogen lamp next to my head. I woke up the next morning to find that MY PILLOW WAS ON FIRE! Luckily, as stated, I'm pretty good in a crisis, so I took my burning pillow, carried it down the latter, and put the fire out in my sink. I then proceded to panic because the fire people were coming (my smoke alarm went off AFTER I put the fire out) and I was wearing no clothes. I had melted pieces of pillow in my hair (and some charred hair too), and I was kind of traumatized by the whole thing. I ended up selling that bed and getting a new one. And I still have problems with candles.

I'm not sure how this relates to anything, actually, but, well, there you go.

oh, and the irony of reading a book on ADD while driving a tractor into a lake is just too much!

Don't walk away from the faucet. Stand there while it's running. Do not leave.

I've found I have to do that. I have to stop the multitasking frenzy and just DO ONE THING.

Sometimes setting timers helps. If you simply, absolutely, positively have NO CHOICE but to walk away, set two or three timers for every couple minutes, to remind you something needs your attention. That's a second choice. First choice is, take things seriously and treat them as deserving your full attention, because they do. This is important, more important than the other stuff you're trying to do while the water's running; and hey, if something else is more important than your running water, then STOP THE WATER and do the other thing.
If you can't solve this, then you shouldn't live in a place with other people. Get your own house where it's your own problem and hurts no one but you if you screw up.

Thanks to everyone for the support, tips, understanding and shared experiences. It really reassuring to know that I have somewhere to go when my ADD-ness becomes overwhelming.

I agree that I need to make sure this doesn't happen again and that is the main reason I'm leaving my beautiful and affordable apartment. I tried leaving myself visual reminders, doing the dishes without using a plug and not leaving the room with water running but alas, distraction is a powerful thing.

I use to love my ADD. I attribute a lot of my quirkiness and creativity to it. But now that I'm in my late twenties and aiming to become a trustworthy, capable and responsible woman, I'm just so over it.

Hey ShaeD.....best to keep on remembering that your ADD dealt you some good cards as well as some tough ones, its part of you and makes you you...

Its fine for me to give advice......since I'm in for heart tests after a life of stressed out ADDness but with the knowledge of what I am and who I am comes the realisation that I have to put my own coping strategies in place and others have to take me as I am.

If you start to hate your ADD you hate a part of yourself...which is never good...better to get a tube style plug than live with 40 years of self loathing.

Oh and by the way fully responsible trustworthy and capable women scare the bejasus out of men....they expect the same back and thats way to much to ask!