Gaaah, so many decisions, so much to think about, I am so incapable of sleeping right now so I'm hoping writing about it might help me chill a bit.

I work in high tech, and though I make good money, I am unable to afford a house where I live. Well, I could afford one, but hardly. The median house price around San Jose is 750,000$. That gets you a 3 bedroom, 1300 sq. foot home. It's ridiculously insane. I know people making 6 figures living paycheck to paycheck. Imagine that!!! I can put some money down, but I'd still have a mortgage that would suck over half of my gross income. Add the potential to get married, have kids and I'll have zero money left to play with.

So, I've been eyeing Austin, Tx as a place to move. I could either find a job there, but there's also the potential that my employer will let me work remotely. I'd get a 16% salary cut, which is laughable because I can get WAY more house for the money (i.e. 250,000$ will get me a 2500 sq. foot house EASILY in Austin). And there are no state income taxes in Texas, wheras I'm paying a good 7-9% here.

But then there's the whole green card issue. I'm a canadian citizen, and I've been stuck in green-card backlog hell for 5 years. Until I get that green card, I'm married to my company. If I leave the company, I have to leave the country. Now, if I stick with my company but move out of state I *also* lose my possibility to get my green card. I'm almost at the finish line, I'm just about to get it, but it's SOO slow! It feels like the turtle has died before reaching the finish line.

After I got divorced, I've been dating this wonderful woman for almost 2 years now. There's the possibility of getting a green card that way. But I'd really rather get one on my own! In a way I'd hate to throw away 5 years of waiting, and in another I ask myself "what if this isn't meant to be"?

So, I've got concerns about the possibility of moving to Austin, the prospect of having to ask my employer to work remotely, the prospect of finding and buying a house, having to find a moving company to move all my stuff, possibility of getting married, possibility of having work permit / green card problems, questions about whether I'll get that promotion or bonus if I mention my intentions to move etc.. etc..

Ok, I feel a little bit better. I'm sorry if this all feels vain, I know they're nowhere close to the kinds of problems you guys have, but these things make me anxious and panicky.

Stick it out.

Oh man ... I have *so* been there, done that! I'm from San Francisco (we rented in the City). We moved to the Phoenix area almost exactly a year ago. We absolutely loved SF, and the Bay Area, but there was no way we could every afford a house there. We came close to buying in Pittsburg (in the east bay), because (at the time) the prices were comparatively reasonable, but we decided that we really, really didn't want to live there!

The breaking point for us was that we couldn't really get appropriate services for our son in the public schools in SF, plus, paying $2500/month for a 3BR flat in the Inner Sunset seemed horribly wasteful. So, here we are, in Scottsdale, which is o.k., overall ... better for us than SF in some ways, worse in others. Obviously cost of living is better: we're paying $1850 for a 2700 sq. ft. house with a huge backyard and big pool in a great school district. And now we can save to buy a house.

But our situation was completely different than yours: We are old marrieds with three young children (2 of whom have special needs).

My honest thought is that if I were single, like you, I would stay in the Bay Area. No question, actually. I, personally, wouldn't choose San Jose (I lived there for 5 years ... I'm an SJSU alum), but the Bay Area has such great opportunities for techies, such amazing things to do and see, incredible natural beauty, culture, diversity, centers of learning and innovation .... *sigh* can you tell I miss it?

OK...there's my 2cents (which won't buy you a dang thing anywhere anymore!)

mom23

Well, I'm as single as single is when you live with your girlfriend and want to have kids with her. Thanks for the words mom23.

I flew into Phoenix a few weeks ago for the first time, and boy is it ever yellow over there! I only saw it from the air, but where was the grass, the trees? Eeek. I think I understand why you miss it.

I'm pretty set on Austin for now, but I know that it's partly an impulsive decision. I've always learned to live with my impulsivity and its repercussions, but so far it's gotten me here, and here is pretty good.

I just sooo want a house !! Is that irrational?

Don't move to the south! Move to somewhere like Sioux City Iowa or somewhere near there in South Dakota. Houses are cheap and the weather is more tolerable than the extreme heat of the south. I used to live in the Bay Area and I know you can't find weather like that anywhere else. So expect to have it either too hot or too cold part of the year wherever you move to.

Whether you believe in global warming or not--the record high temperatures for many cities in the world have been broken in the last couple of years.
You want to live in the middle of the cournty or somewhere just north of there.

Tough place to be.

Patience may be your best friend.

Will be thinking good thoughts for you!

Don't move to the south! Move to somewhere like Sioux City Iowa or somewhere near there in South Dakota. Houses are cheap and the weather is more tolerable than the extreme heat of the south....

I don't disagree, but I have to go somewhere where there's a significant amount of software jobs. South Dakota or Iowa aren't known (to me anyway) to be tech centers. The larger tech centers are Silicon Valley, Austin, Minneapolis, Raleigh, Phoenix and Albuquerque (however you spell that).

Silicon Valley is too expensive, Minneapolis is too cold or too mosquito-y, Phoenix is too yellow, albuquerque I really don't know, and Raleigh ... well, I'd do Raleigh. But between Raleigh and Austin, I would have a bit of a social network going to AUstin.

So, an update on this...

I asked my boss about the possibility of me working from home remotely from Austin. He'd prefer having me locally, but he'd rather keep me there than not having me at all. Sweet! He had to clear it with his boss first. Well, his boss is totally against the idea. Not that he thinks I couldn't do a good job, but he doesn't want to "set a precedent" and "open the floodgates" for his team to move elsewhere (he manages about 30 people). I was really irritated, and out of spite (to a point) I decided to go look at other jobs within my company at different geographic locations... Munich, Dublin, ooo, we have an office in Raleigh? Sweet! So I talked to the hiring manager in Raleigh for a position I'd be perfect for and would be perfect for me. They already started the process to setup an interview.

I'm thrilled! And again, this is all so fast haha ;)

I wonder if the Eagles are right about their native California... you can check out any time you want, but you can never leave.

Anyone live in NC and have good/bad things to say about it?

Trek , only word of advice,

Live in your means. :foot: :soapbox: :p :D