My Wife and kids are on medication for ADD. My kids speak with the Doctor on a regular basis, however, my wife just gets medication checks. Is this normal? Should she be getting some counseling support? I really think it would help. The kids seem to do good with it. Also, is there any counseling for the non-ADD partner?

I think you're using smart thinking, RandyD. It's probably rare that someone with ADD couldn't use at least a chat with the doctor around the subject of ADD instead of just an updated prescription. I wish my doctor offered a little more support a lot of times. But my answer to your question of whether that's normal is it definitely happens because that's the way my psychiatrist does things. If you have noticed specific issues your wife is having trouble with, talk to her about bringing them up with her doctor. I guess all doctors are in a rush to get patients through their office these days. If she asks, maybe hers will pause and take a little more care with her treatment.

In my relationship, I'm the non-ADD partner. I've read two books so far, ADD and Romance and Driven to Distraction. My partner was diagnosed during couple's therapy and not long after her ADHD 14 year old son came to live with us. For years I did not know anything was wrong. But when he arrived it was as if she was rendered totally overwhelmed and unable to deal with him. It was frustrating as hell for me because I'm the 'structured' 'disciplined' one of the relationship.

Fortunately, our therapist has professional and personal experience in ADD/ADHD. Her partner and several of her children have ADD/ADHD.

Well, not long after being diagnosed she began to take Adderall. Amazing at first, but within a few months, I noticed her attention span was really out of whack. She would spend hours on the computer and we were arguing all the time because we were not spending any time together. I felt deeply ignored because she had developed intense hyperfocus to the internet at the expense of a lot of other stuff. My partner is inattentive ADD. I told her that the pills alone arn't helping us. Sure they help her at work, but our home and relationship were falling apart. Counseling is a must for us.

I read that giving an ADD person just drugs only doesn't do them justice. They've had a lifetime of not learning to manage things. Say for example a person has needed glasses all his/her life. Everything they saw they saw in a blur. The blur was normal to them because they didn't know any different. Lets say too that they've always wanted to know how to sew. Now, they get glasses to see. But once they see everything, it doesn't mean that they can operate a sewing machine. They can see the mechanisms on the machine but they would still need to learn how to thread the needle and the bobbin and learn how to operate the machine as well as learn how to sew patterns. Its the same with a person with ADD/ADHD. They have to relearn what they're doing and the drugs alone can't help with that. Sure, it helps them to "see", but once that happens, then they should learn how to manage, especially in relation to other people in their lives. This is where counseling is helpful. And yes, the non-ADD partner should also be willing to go to counseling as well, in order to understand better how to deal with and help the situation. Our counselor helps us both with individual as well as couples counseling.

Children's weight changes as they grow and also finding the right dosage can be difficult so it's awesome that the Dr. is talking to the kids. As for you wife, she may have a dosage that works for her and is still working for you. There isn't always a need but if she feels any changes then she should initiate some dialogue with her doctor.

I am the non ADD spouse as well. My husband is on meds, my son has Asperger's and my husband has 3 children from his previous marriage diagnosed with ADHD. I need "talk therapy" which usually lands me on message boards. :p

I haven't spoken with a professional counselor but if you have the means then it certainly wouldn't hurt.