View Full Version : Have you women with ADD tried the Flylady system?


andrea76
03-20-03, 06:31 PM
has anyone actually bought anything from flylady.net?
I'm thinking about picking up the organizer, the stickers, and/or the timer.
But i'm wondering if anyone has seen the organizer in a mall or specialty shop or something.
Just curious to know what everyone has done.

Lafnalot
03-20-03, 08:52 PM
I havent bought or seen one. Being OCD I needed to make my own and make it so ******* detailed, the ADD'er in me said "Um no?" to actually using it. So I'm looking to kinda hone it down a bit :D Did you flyfest at all?

andrea76
03-20-03, 09:22 PM
see, i need a new calendar for my kitchen,
but my guy and i have such a routine that we don't need to really write anything down,
but; and this is my thing, when i buy groceries, i tend to forget why i bought certain ingredients, so i'm wondering if i should get an organizer calendar to try to target that, or,
if i should just get another calendar.
i don't know,
i'm babbling.

what is "flyfest"?
i find i do most of what she advises anyway,
i'm my own darn coping mechanism.
OH HAPPY DAY!

Lafnalot
03-20-03, 11:27 PM
**giggles like a moron** ok a flyfest was some such get together the flylady followers ( I will reserve my opinion of this for another day) did on March 1st. I, coincidentally had a planned headache and was unable to join my sister and others at the local Borders for coffee and fly mingeling.I recovered quickly, right about the time it ended, so , alas, it was not to be for me. I do much of her suggestions, but I don't wear shoes much. My sensory issues will not allow it. I have a hard enough time wearing shoes for work.

Andrew
03-21-03, 01:14 AM
. o O ( Wonders out loud if they sell fly-paper at Borders )

andrea76
03-21-03, 09:38 AM
i'd like to have a clever response.

Lafnalot
03-21-03, 09:26 PM
**in andreas voice** No but you can get it delivered for half the newstand price

Andrew
03-21-03, 09:52 PM
ba-dum-bum...lol

andrea76
03-21-03, 10:02 PM
oh you so silly

Lafnalot
03-21-03, 10:24 PM
Grins like a monkey and does her Vaudville show ender off the stage

andrea76
03-21-03, 10:28 PM
I feel so horrible,
b/c even though the entire root of this thread is a good thing,

i can't help but want to poke fun at it.

"dress to the shoes!" don't forget your make up! shine your sink!

OMG!!

why not,
if it ain't broke, don't fix it, i guess.

Lafnalot
03-21-03, 10:40 PM
No hey, theres nothing you are saying that I cant relate to. I dont wear shoes, i refuse, I dont flyfest I think thats just dumb, I shine my sink when its seems to need it and i dont wipe it out with a stinkin towle everytime I use it,I mean, Im ocd enough without getting into doing thing even I think are redundant

andrea76
03-21-03, 10:45 PM
LOL
every time woman,
i'm telling you you're gonna make me cry i'm laughing so hard!

once the spring and summer comes i'm so done with shoes and sox, i hate sox.


i don't shine my sink either (unles it needs it)
and i CERTAINLY Do NOT put my Dirty Dishes in a Bin UNDER THE SINK!

Keppig
06-07-03, 01:26 AM
I used to get so down feeling guilty for not following every one of those emails! I find it hard to do all those things and still work 40-50 hours a week. Being a single mom doesn't make it any easier!

Lafnalot
06-07-03, 03:26 AM
No it doesnt, and she does talk about that at some points. It is very hard to be a single mom , period.I have taken what I have felt was important and put it in my palm scheduler and moved them to times and days I need or have open for that subject. It has helped imensly. I find the old addage of "Take what you need and leave the rest" works well.

Keppig
06-07-03, 01:02 PM
Crissy... I like that!

jaimegerise
07-20-03, 02:32 AM
I have the flylady book "Sink Reflections" It's really all you need if you want to keep it simple. The program has reallllllllllly helped me! Yes, I still have my moments of procrastination and whatnot, but it's really helped me begin to prioritize housework and funtime. I have learned to shop obcessing about certain things, and worry more about more important things!

Jaime

Cait
07-22-03, 02:12 PM
You know, BIG - I think you can find "fly-paper" at Home Depot, or maybe even Longs Drugstore.... ;)


On a more serious note (yes, I had to poke fun too), I find that she's really helped me develop some routines that have saved me. Also, she's helped me to think in terms of "baby-steps", so I don't feel so overwhelmed when I have lapses. (like this weekend - I was gone for half of it, plus yesterday was the last day of school - I'm a teacher - so I've been swamped & rushed & exhausted, leaving things whereever they drop knowing I have all week to fix the mess - which I am NOT looking forward to, trust me)

But, I am making a list now of things that need to be accomplished in order or priority & making myself do them first - so I can enjoy the rest of my vacation :) .

I don't do shoes at home in the morning until I'm ready to start heading out the door. And this doesn't bother me. Maybe since I'm a teacher & have been to so many inservices (I don't know), I know that you should just take what you need/want and leave the rest. I'm not sweating it. I like aiming to keep my sink & counters clean - it DOES make me feel good in the morning to walk into a clean kitchen area (now if only my kitchen TABLE would stay clean). Still working on keeping my bills in one place so I don't lose them.....

I don't have a binder yet, I DO skim through the emails (I get the digests, so some days I read a few that have piled up). some days I only look at the table of contents - it's enough to just remind me to stay on top of things. This is what's comfortable for me. She has some great tips on HOW to organize & clean things. I appreciate that - I NEED someone like that, cauase I don't know how. So, I just use what I want & tell myself I just doing baby steps. It doesn't stress me out or feel guilty. Honestly, I don't think the point is to feel guilty about it. Do it because you WANT to - not for HER or anyone else. right? :)

FlakeyGirl
12-05-03, 02:11 PM
Admittedly, she is a bit of a nutball with the make-up and all of it! But I think she wants to help people. What she wants to help them be is another thing. I refuse to be that make-up wearin', recipie-followin', feather-dustin' fool who can't fall asleep with a dirty dish in the sink. I gotta chill.

And what is wrong with spider webs. I cultivate them year 'round so I can be ready for halloween decorating. My mom always told me spiders in your house are good luck, and I tell my kids the same thing. Plus, they are really interesting to watch.

I subscribe, buts she's just a motivator for me. I do terribly need the periodic kicks in the tailpipe that she so graciously and copiously offers. I know what I need to do, I just need someone to tell me to do it. Also, I don't seem to have a problem "taking time out for myself" ...quite the opposite I'd say.

Who would like to sign up for my new group where I'd e-mail you and tell you to "get your distracted *** off the net and get back to work?" (((Hugs))) What shall I call it?

Oh, look there she is again. Apparently it is time to check my control freak journal. Why can't she just call it a planner?

krisp
12-06-03, 01:09 PM
Originally posted by FlakeyGirl
Admittedly, she is a bit of a nutball with the make-up and all of it! But I think she wants to help people. What she wants to help them be is another thing. I refuse to be that make-up wearin', recipie-followin', feather-dustin' fool who can't fall asleep with a dirty dish in the sink. I gotta chill.

I quit subscribing a couple of years ago because I was tired of all the e-mail scoldings she was dishing out every time she got a whiny e-mail from somebody. Of course, I've always had trouble with authority figures anyway. :rolleyes: I think there is some value to the structure she provides, but I don't see it as a roadmap to my life .... just a menu from which I can pick and choose the tactics I find useful. (Anyone else suspect that she's one of those "overcontrolled" ADD types Daniel Amen talks about?)

And what is wrong with spider webs. I cultivate them year 'round so I can be ready for halloween decorating. My mom always told me spiders in your house are good luck, and I tell my kids the same thing. Plus, they are really interesting to watch.

Heh heh. I think they're fascinating, and I don't feel the need to squish them unless they're the poisonous variety. My DH, OTOH, is afraid of them.

prumont
01-10-04, 01:19 AM
I have looked at the flylady site & even subscribed to her group for a while but it scared me! If my life has to degenerate to that level to get better organised I'd rather stay messy. Her manner is patronising & some of her tips are puerile, while others can also be found in much more pleasant sites. The products are just preying on women like us who need help to get better organised. The unrelenting cheeriness of the site nearly sent me mad.

pembroke
01-12-04, 12:31 AM
ummm -- could someone explain this fly lady thing? I have no idea what you're talking about. Thanks.

prumont
01-12-04, 12:40 AM
all is revealed at http://www.flylady.net - check it out ;-)

pembroke
01-17-04, 02:47 PM
thank you. great site. i've already joined the mailing list and my house is breathing a sigh of relief.

prumont
01-19-04, 06:42 AM
pembroke - glad you like it! Still makes me a little nervous (all that organisation, y'know I'm not used to it) ;-)

citruscat2002
01-19-04, 10:48 AM
Hi All -- I did sign up for Flylady's email list and didn't get past the first email. I still think her site is worth a visit though. Must say I'm really tired of solutions that focus only on behaviour change and not on changing your surroundings.
I haven't researched alot, but what I would like more than anything are ways to change my living and working environment to make them more "ADD Friendly". My dream house would have open concept/flexible everything. No cupboard doors, funky labels, work stations, helpful devices or appliances. I would also like to see real-life examples of such spaces. Form needs to follow function.
You'd think with the current decorating and designong craze, someone would come up with plans and ideas for us.

citruscat2002
01-19-04, 11:05 AM
Flakey Girl said, "And what is wrong with spider webs. I cultivate them year 'round so I can be ready for halloween decorating. My mom always told me spiders in your house are good luck, and I tell my kids the same thing. Plus, they are really interesting to watch."

I had a pet Wolf Spider (they're big and harmless) living between two window panes last winter. She had built the most amazing web -- kind of like a big slide. Her name was Annie. Wonder what Flylady would have to say about that :D

krisp
01-19-04, 11:22 AM
Probably "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!" :D

I like wolf spiders too!

citruscat2002
01-19-04, 06:17 PM
Originally posted by Prumont. "The unrelenting cheeriness of the site nearly sent me mad."
I just revisited the site and it's ever so much worse than I remembered. Some good info imbedded into it all, but as has been said, there are better places to find it.
As a spider lover, maybe this site is more my style:

www.toreadors.com/martha/
:D

pembroke
01-19-04, 08:17 PM
Pru: (I like your name)

I like most of what she says - I have been cleaning my kitchen before bedtime for most of the time. The shoes and make up stuff - well, i like being barefoot and bare faced, so I leave it. But the 27 fling boogie cracked me up. And the 5 minute mini room rescue. But, she has helped a little. Of course, once I go back to work 40 hours a week, I will only read my e-mails every other day, and then, who knows?

My name, by the way, is Judit. I just don't know how to do one of those signature thingies...

Andrew
01-19-04, 09:49 PM
For assistance with creating your own signature, click on the HELP button above, or the following link: http://www.addforums.com/forums/misc.php?s=&action=faq&page=1#signature

prumont
01-21-04, 07:19 AM
Originally posted by citruscat2002
[As a spider lover, maybe this site is more my style:

www.toreadors.com/martha/
:D [/B]

LOL - this is a fabulous site, have already emailed it to all my friends :D

thanks very much

prumont
01-21-04, 07:27 AM
Originally posted by pembroke
Pru: (I like your name)

I like most of what she says - I have been cleaning my kitchen before bedtime for most of the time. The shoes and make up stuff - well, i like being barefoot and bare faced, so I leave it. But the 27 fling boogie cracked me up. And the 5 minute mini room rescue. But, she has helped a little. Of course, once I go back to work 40 hours a week, I will only read my e-mails every other day, and then, who knows?

My name, by the way, is Judit. I just don't know how to do one of those signature thingies...
Hey Judit - flylady has some good tips etc on her site, even I like a lot of her ideas. But the email list & online group is very heavy going with huge volumes of email & not all of it useful or fun. BTW the best thing for tidying rooms is to put large wooden blanket chests (not sure if Yanks call them that? they are large wooden boxes with hinged lids) in major rooms. Then when people are coming over you just chuck all the mess in there & dust. Voila instant tidiness, also you know where all the stuff is!!!
PS: this does not work with food (found that out the hard way :eek: )
;)

citruscat2002
01-21-04, 10:03 AM
Hi Pru -- re: blanket boxes -- what a great idea. They are sometimes on sale at Canadian Tire (a large hardware chain) for about $40 each. I've looked at them in the flyers and thought one would make a good coffee table too. I am slowly acquiring enough containers to control the overflow of junk. Baskets and those large plastic containers are handy as well.

pembroke
01-21-04, 11:51 AM
I like milk crates, myself. They can be used to store things in, or to make shelving out of....

and yes, Pru, I think flylady gets a little out of hand with her
e-mails. I tried the digests; those were too much to go through. Now I'm on e-mails, but she sends the same ones
every day. So, now I'm about to unsubscribe, and just go to her site once a week and print out anything I find useful (which I did with the morning fly list, the 27 fling boogie, and this is just in case you are home this afternoon).

anyway, i think i just needed flylady to make me feel better about what I had already managed to accomplish and for a little nudge to get motivated.

pembroke
01-21-04, 12:55 PM
BIG: thank you. As you can see, i fixed my problem.

Lafnalot
01-21-04, 10:26 PM
Did anyone see the take what you need and leave the rest statement --lol. No one out there, no coach, no motivator and no mentor or otherwise is going to have everything you need. So she's cheery, let her be nothing wrong with that, and she states, take what you need etc. And many many stay at home wives and moms do need the commeradierie (waiter! spell check please!) I know when I was a stay at home mom, it was rough trying to talk to others who felt they had loftier ideals to worry about than my mundane and stupid worry about my kid not eating or my house being a wreck. I found myself totally avoiding anyone who was not a stay at home mom or had never been one as they usually ended up giving me some pompous discussion about finding mor eimportant things in my life, disregarding the fact that i was doing some d***ed important stuff, even if it was stuff they didnt want to do.

prumont
02-14-04, 02:39 AM
Crissy
Originally posted by Lafnalot
I found myself totally avoiding anyone who was not a stay at home mom or had never been one as they usually ended up giving me some pompous discussion about finding mor eimportant things in my life, disregarding the fact that i was doing some d***ed important stuff, even if it was stuff they didnt want to do.

I think staying home & spending time is the most precious gift you can give a child (of course this is the ideal & not possible for everyone). It always makes me mad to hear about people being unsupportive to someone who is doing the best thing possible for their child. What is more important than nurturing the next generation? But it is hard work & not everyone is up to the challenge. I wonder if that is why some people denigrate it? Anyhow, sorry to hear people made you feel bad about doing a good thing!

But as to neatness - you know what they say 'a neat desk is the sign of a disordered mind'

gabriela
08-01-04, 04:26 PM
"if a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, what about the empty desk?"

i foolishly/unsuspectingly joined flylady, but i had to unsubscribe after a day or two, because i just couldn't get rid of the "stepford wives" movie playing over and over and over in my mind...

:eek:

prumont
08-02-04, 02:24 AM
"if a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, what about the empty desk?"

i foolishly/unsuspectingly joined flylady, but i had to unsubscribe after a day or two, because i just couldn't get rid of the "stepford wives" movie playing over and over and over in my mind...

:eek:

Boy do I hear you! The same thing happened to me... :eek: :eek: :eek:

gabriela
08-02-04, 02:40 AM
i also kept wanting to send an email to flylady with the one word/name *"TOWANDA!!!"* in it, but...

prumont
08-02-04, 02:48 AM
i also kept wanting to send an email to flylady with the one word/name *"TOWANDA!!!"* in it, but...

:confused: :confused: :confused: Sorry I don't get it - what's it mean?

gabriela
08-02-04, 02:51 AM
you mean to tell me you haven't seen one of the "BESTEST" movies *EVER* - "fried green tomatoes at the whistle stop café"???!!!

:eek: :eek: :eek:

(or "ACKORAMA!!!", as our dear jaime would say...:D)

you *GOTTA* check it out - it's *GREAT*!!!

ffmickey
08-02-04, 08:27 AM
Well I have only read the first page of responses and I am sure there are plenty more to read. I thought I would add my input about the flylady program. I have tried several times to do things that they recomend but it is really hard. I know I have 2 toddlers that seem tomake more messes when I clean one up. I have not bought anything from the web sight but I have thought about it though.

I know all the emails can be overwhelling and I find it very hard to keep up. I only do the ones that are appealing to me and I delete the rest of them. I mean I am sure I will keep trying over and overr to follow through with the program until I give up with it. I know I need to find something that works because I never have any ambition to clean my house.

Wheezie
08-02-04, 09:47 AM
i got her e-mails for awhile. the "shine your sink" thing worked for me, while i kept it up anyway :rolleyes:

one thing that i still do today is the family calendar. i bought the one sold through her site and it helped me organize and use the calendar better (check it every night and morning). i loved the pocket at the back of the calendar and used it regularly for wedding invitations, permission slips, forms to fill out for the new doctor (when they send them ahead and want you to bring them in with you to your appt.)

when i was done with the first year, i switched to a $4.00 calendar, but, i made sure that it had plenty of room to write appts. for everyone in the family. and, i attached a big clip for keeping my paperwork, to replace the pocket.

now i've got a palm which i carry with me. i couldn't do that with the big calendar! but, i'm back to losing paperwork :(

brilliantmoment
08-02-04, 11:33 AM
"you act different when you have clothes and shoes on." -flylady

*mutters* I wonder about the lecture I would get if she saw what I wear when I cook dinner..
----------
Though I have to agree with commandment #3: Don’t allow yourself to be sidetracked by the computer :o

Wheezie
08-02-04, 11:46 AM
*mutters* I wonder about the lecture I would get if she saw what I wear when I cook dinner..


too funny! :D

i have no doubt what flylady would think of "pajama day." :eek:

jaimegerise
08-02-04, 12:41 PM
I just wanted to add to what I said earlier in the thread here....
I've used to flylady system, but I've molded it to my own needs. I don't do everything perfectly in the plan, and somethings I never do. lol I only use what I need to keep things clean, organized and functioning in my life and home...

Even if you don't follow the system, the site still has some good tips on housekeeping, gift giving, special occassions, etc...etc....

EYEFORGOT
08-02-04, 01:45 PM
Ya know, I haven't read all the threads, but I have never checked out fly lady because I've heard enough. There's just no freaking way. I have a wall calendar by my phone and a million post-it notes. Everything else I forget. "don't get distracted by the computer"???? What's that advice? When I can't focus my brain it's the first thing I turn to so I don't wander and pace aimlessly about my house. No no no, I can tell even before I read this thread that I'd never measure up. On manic days my house gets clean, on depressed days/ unfocused days it looks like a tornado blew through it. Also, I understand she doesn't have kids. I have three...BOYS! My bathrooms will never be clean again.

jaimegerise
08-02-04, 02:28 PM
Ah, but that's just it, her site has lots of ideas and things for people with babies or teens or large families, pregnant women, single mothers, working women/mothers, etc, etc...all kinds of folks....

and best of all, even if you don't order any of her gadgits or books, all the info is there on her site free of charge. I bought her "sink reflections" book before I knew about the site. If I would have known about the site, I probably wouldn't have bothered getting the book. Also, you don't even have to subscribe to her mailing list to make system work for you.

There's a plethora of info...
moving tips, vacation/packing tips, menu planning stuff, planning for the holidays, recipies, handling finances, healthy living, getting others in the household to help more with chores, etc. in addition to the cleaning routines, etc.

The whole point of her system - from my own ADD/OCD perspective - is to show how you can achieve having a decent home environment ALL of the time...and balance out whether it's cleaned on "manic" days and tornadoish on the others.... Basically, I am saying that she helps show (regardless of your living situation) how you don't have to have an ocd spotlessly cleaned and organized house all the time, but can escape having to live many days with a cluttered filthy place. Which is perfect for me, because before her, I was like that. Either I was ocd perfectionist about it, or I'd totally drop the ball and get nothing done.

I now have certain days which certain things get done and they always happen on those assigned days, and nothing else does...and it continually cycles, so everything gets tended to at some point (either once a day, week, month, or even year) and doesn't get forgotten. I don't feel like I have to clean my entire house all at once. I do a little every day and in general can maintain a household that I don't have to be ashamed if someone comes visit. (well except for my lack of furniture heh)

And what also helps me is the fact that I've always used a daily planner, so I just plugged my flylady stuff in, and I tackle things one at a time. I also don't fret if I can't get something done because I know it will automatically come up again at it's scheduled time. BUT, before I could use all of this to help me, I had to take time and organize my planner/control journal. Once I did that, I was ready for takeoff :D

BUT, this is just like any organization/housecleaning system. It will only work if actually utilized, and can be adjusted to your own personal needs.

Here's some examples of how I've used it...mind you I am an unemployed housewife with no kids presently, and 4 pets.
*I still struggle with keeping a "clean sink" but, I've learned that my hubby has 2 hands, too, and I've also learned that if I keep up with them on a regular basis as opposed to letting them pile up, it's easier to handle.

*I have a morning routine where I:
-quickly put away anything that's greatly out of place (which thankfully isn't usually much with just hubby and I) so that I can have at least a tidy place, if not immaculate.
-put one load of laundry washing then drying. I only do ONE load a day. This way my whole day isn't sabotaged by laundry, and I have certain loads I do on certain days (mentioned this in another thread) Mon - bedsheets, Tues and Thurs - Whites, Wed and Fri - Darks, Saturday - hubby's uniforms.
-Feed pets, check litter, and have breakfast and take meds
-dress in something very basic because i'll workout later - tshirt, short and sneakers
-sit at puter and catch up on email, forums, check planner, have morning prayer time, etc.

That's my typical morning routine....unless something special goes on where I alter it to my needs. But just there, I have accomplished a lot in not a lot of time, and already feel like the house isn't such a bad place to be :p

*I have an evening routine which consists of:
-again, putting away anything greatly out of place, along with putting away the laundry I did earlier.
-take care of supper/ and the day's dishes.
-check up on the pets again - food water litter

NOTE: this made it to where I only worry about tidying up 2 times a day...meaning I don't constantly have to be on high alert for everything to be in it's place. I save the worrying for these 2 times a day only. And if for whatever reason I can't get to it, I know I'll have that chance again later.

These next duties come up once a week ONLY:
Monday - general house cleaning (clean glass/mirrors, general dusting [only areas that matter] clean up bathroom/kitchen, take out trash, sweep/vacuum, mop). Sometimes, I'll do all of this but skip mopping if I am too tired, or whatever, but I know that next Monday I can get to it.
Tuesday - Any indepth house cleaning I wanna conquer according to flylady zones. If I get to it, great, if I don't then at least my house is still presentable to others because I did my general cleaning the day before.
Wednesday - make grocery lists for the week and conquer any financial things pending
Thursday - pet grooming and tidying up/cleaning out our truck
Friday - all personal care (do my nails, shave, etc.) and take personal creative time, etc....
Saturday - just have fun, get out of the house, etc....
Sunday - Church stuff, yardwork

I think what helped the flylady system work for me above all other systems is that she really put things into perspective. I've slowly let go of some of my OCD tendencies that have driven others who lived with me batty, but I know I don't need to live in CHAOS...which also drives others crazy...and myself.

AND, it's also helped me to know that the better care I take with my surroundings (home) the less bonkers I feel in general and can take more time for things I love rather than fret over my wacko house...AND It also all gives me a since of accomplishment and makes me want to continually strive to do more to make a "happy livable home"...thus making me feel better about my self and my family :D

Ok my rants over :p

ProcrastN8R
06-04-05, 01:45 AM
I tried Flylady. Just couldn't stick with it. I didn't know I was ADHD when I was trying to follow it - maybe I should try again now that I am on meds? And, now I wonder how many people on her email list is ADHD!!!???

I always liked the testimonials though. I thought a lot of them were inspiring.

vickib2
06-07-05, 11:40 AM
I have heard of the Flylady system but there is just too much on the website to sift through for me to understand it.

I definitely have housekeeping issues. My biggest problem is my inability to finish a task. It is really weird. I fill the sink full of soapy water to begin washing the dishes....I wash three plates and two glasses and some silverware....then I experience the strongest urge to STOP. As I continue washing serving bowls and pots, I become very anxious and uncomfortable and just want to stop what I am doing and do something else.

I vaccum two rooms and must stop. I fold clean laundry for about five minutes, then I have to stop. I just can't continue. I flit around my house all day this way. I always have a load of clothes in the washer, waiting to go into the dryer, a load of clothes in the dryer, and a load of clean clothes waiting to be folded in a clothes basket in top of the dryer. Laundry is just ONE of my many problems.

Vicki
p.s. I am new and have just started reading this board. I am undiagnosed but feel sure that I have ADD.

Kitty
06-10-05, 12:05 AM
Vickib2, this is where her use of a timer comes in handy. Why don't you instead of thinking of "finishing" a task, set your timer for 5-10 minutes do that task, and when the timer goes off, you're done! Then reset the timer and go on to a different task that needs done, or "restart" again for another 5-10 minutes. Don't forget to take a 5-10 minute break after 3 sessions so you don't get worn out, then start again. Maybe this will work better for you.

VickiS
06-10-05, 08:20 AM
[QUOTE=EYEFORGOT] "don't get distracted by the computer"???? What's that advice? When I can't focus my brain it's the first thing I turn to so I don't wander and pace aimlessly about my house.

Brilliant! (I thought mine just had a huge magnet on it)
I never looked at my computer compulsiveness it that way, I guess sitting down to my computer; especially this forum is grounding. I feel much better thank you!

At the advice of this board, I signed up for Flylady, I must say all the e-mails freak me out and I am on a different time zone so they never make any sense and I delete.
On the other hand, I have to admit that the few of them I have opened make a lot of sense.
My latest is the 15 minutes a day in the worst room of your house. That would be my basement storage room. I don’t know if anyone else has a room where you throw everything, and I mean everything? I set a timer and go to work. It has been about a week, and I can see the floor! When I think about it I have magically created the equivalent of two hours of Saturday “chore time” And for me it is not just the time but the fact like Vicki B I would never in my wildest dreams be able to plow through a job like this is a single sitting.

CAmom
06-14-05, 02:01 PM
I have incoporated some of the FlyLady system into my life. I just discovered the site, so I haven't read through everything.

I have the problem, too, of not wanting to do more than 5-15 minutes of work at a time. Also, I usually don't know where to start to do anything. From the Flylady I take things that help me with structure and focus.

1) Routines: These help me remember what I need to do in the morning & evenings. I have modified them to fit what I need to do.

2) Timer: I've always used this. I set it on 5-15 min, depending on my mood. It gets me to do something. Better than nothing!!!

3) Zones: Every week I work in the zone they work in. However, I cannot work every day in a zone. (Forget that!) If I do two or three 15 min. sessions a week in a zone, that's good.

As an ADHD woman I have come to peace with the fact that I will never be a Martha Stewart - or a FlyLady. (Wasn't that hard, actually, to accept.) So, there is NO WAY I can keep up with the FlyLady system. Yes, some of that stuff makes me laugh. But, overall, it's not a bad idea [B][/U]if you keep in mind your limitations. [U][B] :)

takemeaway
06-17-05, 10:31 AM
Personally, I love flylady,
but try not to take her too seriously, I just couldn't, and my problem lies in the same area,just starting something and then before you know it I am on to something else, just stop in the middle, why I do this, I don't know< I wish I did, but for me, I like reflecting, so I like to iron and think, you know, and then you get this finished product-I found that if I am gonna work hard on something then I want visable results, like I cleaned my stairs (wood) wow what a difference, and now I am wanting everything around my wonderful stairs to be spotless-hopefully it will grow to where we can actually show the house to people (we are moving)

Another thing is I try to visualize something clean, like underneath all this clutter is a beautiful vanity-or put something decorative there, that makes me want to keep it clean and it becomes more motivating-

I also resist routines, I just can't keep with them, I have tried, I can't remember that many things, even the 3 things I have trouble with. So I am still working on JUST keeping the sink clean, that is all for now.

Hope this helps, don't know if it does, I am undiagnosed too, but you know, I think when things aren't right. I keep wanting to re-invent the wheel, start from scratch.

LORI

windowlicker
06-21-05, 10:29 AM
I remember reading one of her emails (though with the amount of emails like these that she sends out, it would be hard to catch) where she was talking about how she had to start the program one habit at a time. It took her about a month to get the habit down of cleaning the kitchen sink every night (though I also think it's unneccesary to clean it out every night), and only then did she move on to a second habit. She does stress not to try and follow everything at once, and just to take the baby steps. Yeah sometimes she freaks me out too with the "dressed to shoes and makeup" and that "DH (dear hubbie)" business. Yes it reminds me of the Stepford Wives as well. But it is nice to have the reminders, though sometimes lately I've gone weeks just ignoring the reminders.

Today I finally just unsubscribed and then resubscribed to start all over, since I lost the welcome letter. I had tried to go all out with the routines the first time, living in a tiny apartment, clutter grows so fast and it's hard to ever get laundry done, there's only 2 washers in the whole building. But I figure that if I've gone 21 years without having a set routine, I can go a month with having only one.

VickiS
06-21-05, 11:00 AM
FYI;
Using her 15 minutes a day in the worst room in your house my basement storage room is pretty much done! It took three weeks, but hey, I'd never have touched it if I felt I had to do it all at once!
What's next? Garage? Closet in the spare bedroom?

Zuleika
07-17-05, 12:30 PM
Her perkiness is a bit much for me sometimes, too. But as an ADDer, I find the structure and routine she provides and encourages helpful.

Do this chore for 15 minutes I get bored soooo fast doing mindless household chores. And I get distracted so easily, I start doing something else. But I know I can force myself to focus on something for just 15 minutes -- sometimes I even find myself racing the timer.

Constant reminders. I tried it once before on digest and I couldn't take it all in. Now, when something pops up, I take a look at it and if I'm going to try to get to it when I have time (like on the weekend), I keep the e-mail, if not I just delete it. And on the weekends it stops me from hyperfocusing on something all day and not getting anything done.

Take what you want, leave the rest. I delete a lot of emails. Five minute room rescue. Hot spot fire prevention. Where are your shoes? (In the dang closet where I go get them when I leave the building). Reboot your laundry (I live in an apartment with a laundry room, so I can't leave it around). But I find the process of housekeeping completely overwhelming, so the structure and routine she offers, so I don't have to think about the whole thing ("Just do this one little chore for 15 minutes") very helpful. She also says all over her website that no one needs to buy her stuff to follow along.

Go ahead, do a half-@$$ed job. It's better than nothing. Okay, that the way I put it. She says "Housework done imperfectly still blesses your family." The positive attitude that she has, that you accomplished something if you just worked at if for 15 minutes, is sooo much better than the "It isn't finished, so I didn't accomplish anything" guilt that my parents taught me.

Excuse me, while I go throw out clutter for 15 minutes.

Lipz17
07-17-05, 01:22 PM
I totally agree,i do not like shoes and to come home from work and get clothes changeds and put lace shoes on,uh no way.I hate shoes.She mena swell though but some of the stuff on that site makes me laugh.

Ian
07-17-05, 03:26 PM
Re: subject title
Flyguys exist and their sinks shine too!

meadd823
07-20-05, 11:59 AM
Okay Ian do you dress to impress your DH?????

Sorry think I took a smart **** pill instead of my Adderall.

I haven't ever looked at thiss flylady WEB site thing if my house gets too messy I either clean up the part that is bothering me or clean out my car well enough to drive it else where!!!

Company coming over well Gary does all out business stuff out side the home, therefore, all the folks that come over are here to see us. I have friends who are neat freaks and friends who are the opposite you know......... I do not like going to my neat freaks house any more than my messy mom friends house. I enjoy thier company equally. In my life people who are from the house keeping gastpo well they just need to find some one who gives a sh**!!!!!!


Gary has some family here, they came over from time to time. I felt no need to impress them either. Gary had a tractor part collection on our love seat for a year. Funny when he finally moved it people actually MISSED it!!!! They point to the love seat and say "Hey what happened??"


Gary is a pack rat and drags all sort f things home. I have learned to draw reasonible boundaries for my life nad let others worry about thier own!!!! Gary has in places to pack rat what ever he wants (as long as it's legal). The coffee table is his domain, the front roon also. When people used to look at the tractor part collection then look at me I would remind them that this is Gary's house too and he can decorate his side of the living room any way he wants!!!!

The tractor parts took care of them selves when he lost wallett keys and other stuff in the pile!!!!!

Oh yea what I cook in, I don't cook Gary does!!!!! He cooks I clean the dishes.

Clothes, well Gary and I are in the recycling business I wear jeans and a t-shirt, just like all the other guys. The only time I look like a girl is when I am dressed up to go out (A rarity) or wearing my birthday suit (not such a rarity)!!!!

ClearConfusion
07-21-05, 09:47 PM
I have heard of the Flylady system but there is just too much on the website to sift through for me to understand it.

I definitely have housekeeping issues. My biggest problem is my inability to finish a task. It is really weird. I fill the sink full of soapy water to begin washing the dishes....I wash three plates and two glasses and some silverware....then I experience the strongest urge to STOP. As I continue washing serving bowls and pots, I become very anxious and uncomfortable and just want to stop what I am doing and do something else.

I vaccum two rooms and must stop. I fold clean laundry for about five minutes, then I have to stop. I just can't continue. I flit around my house all day this way. I always have a load of clothes in the washer, waiting to go into the dryer, a load of clothes in the dryer, and a load of clean clothes waiting to be folded in a clothes basket in top of the dryer. Laundry is just ONE of my many problems.

Vicki
p.s. I am new and have just started reading this board. I am undiagnosed but feel sure that I have ADD.
Vicki, I recognise this so much! This urge to stop, the feeling of "I can't do this anymore!"

Have you ever tried to, for example, wash the dishes for a short while, then switch to folding laundry, then wash a couple of more dishes, then have a cup of coffee, then...well, you see what I mean?
It works at times for me, if I ever get going. :rolleyes: Anyways I know there's no use in continuing with something when all of my being is screaming "Stop!" It's practically impossible. I actually endure practical, tedious tasks better when I've slept very poorly or not at all. I think it is because I already feel bad so the tedious task is not such a torture.

Welcome to the forums! :)

VickiS
07-22-05, 08:00 AM
Vicki, I recognise this so much! This urge to stop, the feeling of "I can't do this anymore!"

Have you ever tried to, for example, wash the dishes for a short while, then switch to folding laundry, then wash a couple of more dishes, then have a cup of coffee, then...well, you see what I mean?
It works at times for me, if I ever get going. :rolleyes: Anyways I know there's no use in continuing with something when all of my being is screaming "Stop!" It's practically impossible. I actually endure practical, tedious tasks better when I've slept very poorly or not at all. I think it is because I already feel bad so the tedious task is not such a torture.

Welcome to the forums! :)
I am with you here, that is where the timer thing comes in. I can do anything for 5 minutes. (Really!) Constant motion and shifting gears keeps me going.
I will set the time for 5 and straighten a room, next five, next room. Of course most rooms can't get finished in 5 minuets, but it is amazing how much better they can get!
The difference is I go into each room with pretty good energy...

Anyone watching me folding laundry would be shaking their heads at my inefficiency. I will take one article of clothing and walk into the closet and hang it and go back for another, maybe then, walk my kid’s undies into his room or a towel to the linen closet.

"Everybody" knows I should be standing there folding and making piles, and when I am done folding, bring everything to its final home at one time.
Oooh, I get the willies just thinking of that!!! Why not make me stand on hot coals while I am folding??

pembroke
07-22-05, 11:17 AM
re: laundry folding - ususally in the evening, in front of the tv. that way i can be happily distracted while giving my hands something to do.

and about that dressed all the way to shoes and make-up - I think that is for the people who do not work "outside". that would be me during lay-off season. and i still don't bother with it. i hate lace up shoes. i like my clogs and sandals.

take what you like, bend it to your needs and ignore the rest (including her perkiness, which is enough to give me a sugar rush). she has some great ideas. :soapbox:

meadd823
07-22-05, 04:28 PM
i hate lace up shoes. i like my clogs and sandals.

I am with you there. Slip on shoes that don't require socks!!!!!

Make up I am not into unless it is a special indoor occasion. Here in the Texas summer make up is only an option for people who don't go out side longer than ten minute intervals. See our humidity can be pretty high combine that with temps over 95 and make up quickly changes into a "melted state. Never mind what happens with this gooie melted make up mess when it mixes with sweat and procedes to attract every atom of grit with in a mile redius!!! I do not think this renders a modle of femine attractiveness!!!!! I

It is all I can do to keep sun screen on my face and arms!!!!!!!

alala
07-22-05, 04:34 PM
I did the flylady thing for awhile, or tried to. I got a whole lot done for a few months, it was great. Occasionally she'd get all huffy and start this "my way or the highway" thing, you know, either wear your shoes all the time or get off my list, which annoyed me. But what really crippled me were the breaks she allowed. Like, she sends 17 emails a day and you just ignore the ones you're not ready to deal with yet, well, if I can ignore one, I can ignore them all. I do use a timer, and I am amazed at how much you can get done in 15 minutes, or even 5, but when I sit down and take a break, I do not get up again. Gotta get past that, somehow.

I may sign back on later, when I feel like I can cope with the perkitude.

prumont
07-23-05, 12:40 AM
re: laundry folding - ususally in the evening, in front of the tv. that way i can be happily distracted while giving my hands something to do.

and about that dressed all the way to shoes and make-up - I think that is for the people who do not work "outside". that would be me during lay-off season. and i still don't bother with it. i hate lace up shoes. i like my clogs and sandals.

take what you like, bend it to your needs and ignore the rest (including her perkiness, which is enough to give me a sugar rush). she has some great ideas. :soapbox:


I'm so impressed that you fold them!!! I just put them in the drawers (if that even) bunched up ;D

meadd823
07-23-05, 09:01 AM
See I hang as much stuff up on hangers as I can. I use my dresser drawers for under-things, night wear, and off season stuff.

The cloths I wear often and my few "dressie dress up" stuff hangs in my closet and live in their own section. Of coarse the things I wear most work cloths, house dress naturally stay in the front. My dressie dresses are in the very back.

I think hanging is faster and easier than folding, cloths tend to get less wrinkled. Ironing is against my "religon"!!!!!

The laundry article I hate the most is socks, can't some one invent disposibles that get worn once and then chuncked.

I take my socks off fold them together and put in hamper. When it comes wash time I safty pin the socks together and throw in washer. I use clothes line in summer as dryer too hot and clothes actually dry faster out side most days. The pinned together socks just get thrown over the line when they are dry all I have to do is un pin and fold place in drawer.

Gary had a hard time with this at first. He "balked" at my system. I let him know I do NOT match socks for any one. He felt it made no difference wearther or not they matched so I handed him is cunglomerate of un-matched sock and said okay. Every morning for a week he was digging through drawer of un-matched socks looking for a pair, while I reached in my drawer with socks already matched and folded. He folds his socks together before placing in laundry hamper!!!!

SassyVal
10-11-05, 02:38 AM
hmmm... I wonder if anyone ever thought of doing "flylady for ADDers"... it DOES have a
lot of good info, but, heck... so many darn emails... as if I'm not distracted from my stuff
enough as it is, I'm checkin my email to see what I should be doin'!

meadd823
10-12-05, 08:49 AM
I'm checkin my email to see what I should be doin'!


ROFL'''I think you may just stumbled upon an idea there...if you can read that many e-mails on house work then you probably don't need the suggestion in them!!!!

Ian
10-12-05, 09:19 AM
I'm a flyguy and don't find the frequency of emails an issue. I'm not perfect, but I do check my mail often and they only ever require a small investment in time.

I've enjoyed learning that frequency counts. I sure wasn't very successful in my multi-tasking approach to any work much less the house chores. I live with slobs and I got to caring about the environment I live in. Flylady has taught me that multi-tasking is not as effective as a bit of micro management.

I don't take it all to heart, but I joined a local mail list for the flycrew here and we've met to share a meal a couple of times. They've help most in me getting from a point of resentment and anger to a point where I'm empowered with tools that have made a big difference positively in how everyone feels when they are at home now. It used to be a bit of a family joke about the clutter and chaos that was omnipresent here. Now, there seems to be a healthier self image.

For the most part, I feel like the routine acceptance of short term tasks has served to boost other parts of my life in better directions. I'm not nearly as anxious about what is left undone simply because I have much more experience knowing that what I'm doing now is good enough. I'm not behind, I'm just doing what I can.

The scheduling has been great for me. I've been at it for a while now, and others in the family have come to like a more ordered household. Not to say that this place is all "ducks in a row" because it won't ever be like that. It has afforded a committed effort on all the kids to contribute to a less chaotic living space.

For me, it's been a patient process. I'm not one to kick the thing in the teeth until I've given it a real try and this one has turned out to be appropriate for how I'm made up. I find the fact that I need this type of thing a little offensive, but I am desperate to accumulate as many skills that produce results toward my dreams as possible.

But man's capacities have never been measured; nor are we to judge of what he can do by any precedents, so little has been tried. Whatever have been your failures hitherto, "be not afflicted, my child, for who shall assign to you what you have left undone?"
-- Henry David Thoreau, "Walking"

Cheers! Ian.

brandilyn
10-12-05, 02:01 PM
I flew for a while but after getting diagnosed and help for my ADD I stopped.It was very helpful for a while.
I just have a hard time staying with something,I start to feel tied to it.Also,I like to keep it simple.
I would rather play with my babies or be outside with my animals than shine my sink.....hehehe.......

just4girls
11-08-05, 10:31 AM
I've been thinking about trying to do her system... where did I put all those checklists?

just4girls
11-08-05, 10:32 AM
don't let yourself get sidetracked by the puter....

hellofunction
03-20-07, 06:30 AM
I found it worked fine if you followed the sensible advice and ignored the rest (recieve emails once a day option). The "hey, go chuck anything you don't use from the bathroom sink" stuff certainly worked for me. Appealed to my impulsivity. However I found the endless posting of "thank you so much flylady, of course any calendar but yours is doomed to fail.....I'm nothing without you....only you can save me..." stuff tiresome. Shoes? Man, you should see my feet...I don't wear shoes unless it is absolutely required. And then I take them off under the table. Endless self promotion. The final straw came when she posted this ludacrous rant on post natal depression. i wrote and advised her in the nicest possible terms, refferring to myself in the idiotic venacular of the site 'flybaby etc", that it was advisable to avoid discussing angels going to heaven / returned to god at length because some women with severe pnd do kill their children in the belief that this will be best for the baby, be in heaven etc. She sent a terse response. I advised that since she has no clinical expertise in the field, if she was unwilling to accept my opinion she should either consult an expert or not post on the subject unless she felt she could make it clear that she was not an expert on the suject. Her reply tended to infer that reading all the newspaper/ magazine articles on a subject made one equally as expert as an actual expert in the field.

The relationship ended thus. My house is exactly as tidy as it was after I started her system. And I don't have to be enraged by the felatious/fellacious appeal to authority problem.

munky_do
01-03-08, 02:33 PM
I've just started the Flylady system... does anyone actually clean their sink out every day?? That seems to be her bottom line... doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Personally, the kitchen sink doesn't mess up my chi like having to stare at toothpaste globs and plucked eyebrow hairs and gawd knows what else first thing in the morning does.

auntchris
01-19-08, 07:05 PM
I had the flylady system, I got rid of it because too many emails. I am college and cant deal with the email. I like her site and would rather go to check it out.