Hello

Please please help. I am having ongoing problems relating to my appalling short term memory (which I’m presuming is to do with my adhd diagnosis) - in regard to overflowing water in sinks and baths and cooking (I am 29). Several years ago, after one such disaster put the oven out of action (the oven, rather than the hobs which still work), I came to the conclusion that ovens and I do not mix, and stopped using it (what was supposed to be temporary solution while I came up with a better solution which never materialised). However, it means I have not eaten well since (although to be fair I wasn’t eating well before either. I ended up eating out at lot!)

However the most recent disaster relates to the bath overflowing. I don’t know why it happens, I implore myself not to let it happen, I do well for a bit (just!) due to complete paranoia and fear and focussing all my attention on this problem, and then… as this wears off as life takes over, the inevitable happens. This is a disaster as I live in rented accommodation, and am on the first floor which means there is a flat below me. (actually I am above half of two, due to the way the house is built. Therefore, I manage to upset and annoy two households instead of just one!) I am at my wits end. What do I do about these problems to prevent them from *ever* happening again?.

I can manage to stop cooking completely by not using the cooker ever, but I can’t just stop using water, there isn’t a way round it. I need to wash and I need to wash up. If I had lots of money I’d rush out and buy what I need to support my condition right away (dishwasher, remove the bath put a shower instead...), but I don’t so can anyone help me with this area that I just keep on getting wrong… my brain is not working with me on this one and I can’t seem to rely on what most people normally seem to rely on quite successfully.

Please somebody make some suggestions that will help.. and what can you suggest I try first? I really need to solve this or I will lose my home.

You have no idea why the bath overflows?

hiya. I'm not sure if that was meant to be humorous or not.

Assuming it's a serious question, what I am saying is, I don't know why it is that obviously I go out of the bathroom (or I would surely notice it in overflow); find myself in another task and forget it is still running. "forget" sounds lame, but it is a real problem. Hence, my comment relating to "short term memory".

Do you have any suggestions that might help?

If we are not able to learn from consequences, then we must have assistance with daily living. Do you think you need assistance?

Solution: When you start running water or cooking something, don't leave the room until you've finished what you started.

If we are not able to learn from consequences, then we must have assistance with daily living. Do you think you need assistance?
yup, I need some kind of assistance, or modification to my living circumstances. Not sure what though. So far the only foolproof methods are 'abstinence' i.e. don't use oven, can't have oven problem.

There are (possible) long term solutions to the bath, i.e. by removing it and replacing with shower unit. Problem resolved. Possible long term solution to kitchen sink overflow: install dishwasher (which would actually require refitting kitchen and plumbing as it is very small and no dedicated space for dishwasher) and take off sink plug. But in the short term...or to facilitate that process?

Part of the problem Imnapl, I think, is in the first instance, not knowing what was (might be?) causing the problem, the second in believing and understanding the diagnosis. It would probably help if I explain I was only formally diagnosed around 2-3 months ago, so am in the process of sorting through things and digesting what it really means / might mean and addressing the numerous issues. It's not easy. Meanwhile, life goes on.

What kind of assistance were you suggesting?

Solution: When you start running water or cooking something, don't leave the room until you've finished what you started.Thank you for your suggestion metamonkey. :)

You would think this would be the most obvious solution to the problem, and indeed it is one I have used. However I am not consistent in my usage of this technique, and sometimes I just (esp. when not on meds) find myself doing things I don't even realise I've lost concentration until afterwards.

The bath takes approximately 15-20 minutes to fill, cooking as long if not longer. I can and have stood there and watch, but I think the more long-term and likely solution (for me) is preventitive - to stop it happening in the first place - i.e. a series of habits or home modification that means whether or not I lose concentration, it doesn't present a problem either way.

Home support as in a worker or family member to help you. People with ADHD may damage things or have "accidents" due to distractions or forgetfulness, but people with ADHD are able to learn from consequences resulting from being distracted or forgetful. Are you dealing with more than just ADHD?

Home support as in a worker or family member to help you. People with ADHD may damage things or have "accidents" due to distractions or forgetfulness, but people with ADHD are able to learn from consequences resulting from being distracted or forgetful. Are you dealing with more than just ADHD?It is possible, but that is the diagnosis I have. I'm always open-minded to alternative ideas. Sometimes I don't even believe in the adhd diagnosis, but the books I am reading (for specific solutions to problems) have been very helpful, so that's something to be positive about.

I live on my own and really I do prefer it that way, so my aim is to remain independent and not have someone move in, or for me to move out. This is why I'm looking for solutions that will assist me to do just that. How could a family member or support worker help me with my bath issues though...?

Just make it a rule that you always stay in the bathroom while the water is running. Take a book and read for 15 minutes while it fills. Put a portable TV on the counter - have something to occupy your time so you aren't bored and feel the need to walk out.

Or time how long it takes to fill and set a timer every single time that doesn't shut off until you return.

How could a family member or support worker help me with my bath issues though...?They would fill the tub for you.

Like I mentiond in another thread...

Instead of a standard plug use a tube plug shorter than the depth of the bath or sink. Commercial kitchen sinks often use them here in the UK. If you can't get one you could probably make one.

Re the cooking.....why not use a microwave?

kilt

Having slept on it...

...

Just make it a rule that you always stay in the bathroom while the water is running. Take a book and read for 15 minutes while it fills. Put a portable TV on the counter - have something to occupy your time so you aren't bored and feel the need to walk out.

Or time how long it takes to fill and set a timer every single time that doesn't shut off until you return.Thank you for this suggestion.

I have ordered a timer here salter big display electronic timer (http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=006&sspagename=STRK%3AMEWA%3AIT&viewitem=&item=160091518633&rd=1&rd=1#ebayphotohosting). I don't know how loud it is or how it switches off. Hopefully it be one extra thing in my armoury to deal with the problem.

Reading a book in the bathroom is an excellent idea, and something I'm going to do (although right now the idea of running a bath (or any body of water whatsoever for any purpose is is completely nerves-inducing). Using my tendency to distraction and "lock-in" with an activity by reading in the bathroom, will actually keep me in there. I think I'm going to make a little spot in my (tiny) bathroom that is comfortable to sit in, and perhaps have a small library of books to keep me entertained.

The other possibility I have, in the instance that I walk out, is to keep all the doors - including the bathroom door - open as a habit key. My flat is so small I can hear everything from the other rooms, if the doors are open. I could in that case hear the water which, in conjunction with using a timer for backup, should give two warning systems if something's wrong. (i.e. the bath goes quiet!)

Just thought of another one... bath/shower and internet do not mix, so another preventative habit key is to switch the computer *off* before any activity relating to water begins, and does not get switched back on until after it's finished.

They would fill the tub for you.This is a good idea, or perhaps could be augmented to "family member rings you to remind you to turn taps off" (my family don't live close). Obviously it needs to be a daily habit so perhaps having someone ring me as a backup would help rather than having to be there, which is not very practical.

However, my family aren't that reliable either in ringing (I have tried asking for this before, sometimes getting the "sorry I forgot!"), so I'm not sure I'd want to rely on them.

It's a good idea if you've got close and reliable family though, I can see it working in some instances.

Like I mentiond in another thread...

Instead of a standard plug use a tube plug shorter than the depth of the bath or sink. Commercial kitchen sinks often use them here in the UK. If you can't get one you could probably make one.

kiltThis is a brilliant idea, and exactly the kind of thing I am looking for. Foolproof solutions! :)

Do you have any idea what they are called (doing an extensive search now, but not sure of the name I'm supposed to be searching under). Does it look anything like this:
drain overflow tube (http://item.express.ebay.com/Restaurant-Retail_Bar-Beverage_Commercial-Sinks_Drain-Overflow-Tube-Plastic-Commercial-sink-NEW-11355_W0QQitemZ120000027365QQihZ002QQptdnZCommerci alQ20SinksQQddnZRestaurantQ20Q26Q20RetailQQadnZBar Q20Q26Q20BeverageQQptdiZ834QQddiZ1449QQadiZ1441QQc mdZExpressItem)

If it is the right thing, I'll get one for the kitchen sink as well.

The other idea I had regarding the washing up was using a bowl that is on legs that raise the bowl up by 1 inch. That would also go towards preventative measures. Don't know where I'd find a bowl that does that, though. All the ones I see are basic plastic bowls that don't raise above the bottom of the sink, and when full tend to press down on the plug hole, effectively sealing it from overflowing water from the edge of the bowl. And suggestions would be very much appreciated.

Another idea I came up to augment these solutions is to simultaneously reduce the water pressure by turning the mains water tap down a bit, so any water overflow is automatically going to be less to help with the overflow preventative measure.

Re the cooking.....why not use a microwave?

kiltThe reason I don't use the obvious and ideal solution of a microwave is don't really believe microwaved food is that good for you. I do have one, but I don't use it that much for that reason. However, there are alternatives which I am exploring.

One, is that I was told the other day most commercial electric ovens have a timer which beeps for 1 min and then switches the oven off". This I have to look into as it's new to me. Don't know if there's a manufacturer that can achieve this for hobs, but I'll look into it.

Secondly, (some) slow cookers should have timer switch off functionality.

(Some) Rice cookers also have a timer switch off functionality.

All of these are acceptable alternatives to me, and if I find a product/s that works, I'll share it with you :-)

Hi applet have you thought about getting help for the cause of your ADHD and memory loss. Treat the cause and you may wll solve the problem altogether. You would not need to have gadgets then. I have also been recently diagnosed with dyslexia, dyspaxia and I am sure I have adhd. My memory is terriable and it seems to get worse with age My daughter also had the problems but not now, she went through Dore achievment center as will me and her brother when he is 7 hopefully in the new year. Go to Dore and personal experiences on this site and you will see you are not alone. Missellie XXX

We use timers in our house, for one.

Don't leave the room you are working in.

For baths, get ready to take your bath, THEN run the water. It's hard to get distracted when you are already neked! ;-)

When mistakes and made, I put a new system in place, mentally, to correct the problem.

There may be more to your diagnosis than just ADHD though, if you are not able to mentally put a new idea or system in place to work for you to prevent those ADHD tragedies. DS is a lot like you in that regard, and we are working on finding out what's going on.

Yup Applet the drain overflow thingy on the link is the item....that will cure the overflowing sinks etc.

Re microwave...you can do all sorts of stuff in a microwave....not just the prepacked ping food...... porridge for example :-)

kilt

For baths, get ready to take your bath, THEN run the water. It's hard to get distracted when you are already neked! ;-)Good one! :D

Hi applet have you thought about getting help for the cause of your ADHD and memory loss. Treat the cause and you may wll solve the problem altogether. Genetics is the main cause of ADHD. Some ADHD is caused by brain trauma. Are we able to fix the results of genetics and brain trauma?

Applet have you considered sitting in the tub while it is filling? Re: loudness of timer: carry it with you? Get a wrist watch that has a timer?

Why do I keep getting the feeling that Applet is having one on us? It's not nice to tease ADHDers.

Don't leave the room you are working in.

For baths, get ready to take your bath, THEN run the water. It's hard to get distracted when you are already neked! ;-) This is a great idea, it's cold in the UK so it would certainly focus my mind on getting on with the task and not getting distracted.

Not leaving the room I'm working in seems to be the answer to pretty much all things. And reducing distractions, or purposely using distractions to keep me within the room I'm working in.

Applet have you considered sitting in the tub while it is filling? Re: loudness of timer: carry it with you? Get a wrist watch that has a timer?
That is a good idea :)

Actually I have tried it on a couple of occasions but the bath fills slowly. I might try the reading in the bathroom for the first bit first while filling, then as the bath gets fuller, 1kid2dogs' initial suggestion, and then as you suggest sitting in the tub while it finishes (takes about 15-20 mins to fill). Or a combination of all three.

Why do I keep getting the feeling that Applet is having one on us? It's not nice to tease ADHDers.I don't understand this part of your post, can you explain? I'm just asking for help. (which gratefully, I have received from you and other posters in this thread).

Yup Applet the drain overflow thingy on the link is the item....that will cure the overflowing sinks etc.

Re microwave...you can do all sorts of stuff in a microwave....not just the prepacked ping food...... porridge for example :-)

kiltI'm just waiting back from the vendor to see if they can deliver to the UK. Luckily their (commercial) dimensions fit my (domestic) sink and bath. But I will have to hacksaw them down a bit to the right height for my sink.

I know waht you mean about the porridge - have tried it and it's ok ;) It is a good interim solution. However to date I've 'managed' by eating out a lot. Or by living on biscuits and sandwiches at home. Not a very healthful choice in the long term - I'd LOVE to be able to cook proper meals.

ok they make a small band for children who live around pools it is shaped like a turtle this band is very useful if u get creative if said band gets wet it sets off a loud alarm if i were u i would get a couple and hang them from the taps by a ribbon down to the needed level so that when the alarm goes off you will kno that it is full and can enjoy your bath without the mess and angry flatmates!!

you resident dogooder
zachylee

LOL! I read that as "a small band of children who live around pools".

If we are not able to learn from consequences, then we must have assistance with daily living. Do you think you need assistance?
Home support as in a worker or family member to help you. People with ADHD may damage things or have "accidents" due to distractions or forgetfulness, but people with ADHD are able to learn from consequences resulting from being distracted or forgetful. Are you dealing with more than just ADHD?
Why do I keep getting the feeling that Applet is having one on us? It's not nice to tease ADHDers.
Imnapl, please re-read these responses of yours. Do you think they are "advocacy"? Are they truly helpful? I don't know about anyone else, but your posts here made me really angry.

What's with the doubt and suspicion? For example, what made you think there's anything odd about Applet's post? It's just like any other post around here asking for help! :mad:

Have you never let something overflow? Have you not repeatedly burnt food? Does that seem so strange? Funny, I thought it was a relatively common problem for us!

And does her having a problem that you apparently do not somehow negate her diagnosis? Was it necessary to question that, or suggest something else is the issue? I wouldn't totally rule it out of course, but it's not for us on this forum to decide. And I personally think it's overkill to suggest that an ADHD adult who keeps forgetting her tub is running can't live alone.

Just because she didn't come up with a solution on her own doesn't mean she can't come up with ANY work-arounds - but we all have that one or two things that stump our creative resources. When you've had a certain problem for so long, sometimes it can be hard to think out of the box on that one subject.

That's what this forum helps with!

I want to point out here that one of the major issues Russell Barkley notes that ADHD people have is learning from consequences. (More subtly than with other neurological disabilities, however.) If Applet commonly has this problem, it does not throw doubt on her diagnosis - it supports it.

Anyway, Applet, I don't personally tend to let things overflow (since I just shower), but I totally relate to the cooking issues. My mother does not trust me in the kitchen at ALL!

I mean, I can follow a recipe with few problems, and make something pretty tasty...but the part where you put something on the stove/in the oven and just WAIT is what always nails me. I don't come back in time, and it burns or scorches.

My solution is to take my CD player, or my MP3 player into the kitchen with me, and listen to music while I wait for stuff to cook. (Use rechargeable batteries, or meals will cost you a small fortune...) Then I just forbid myself from leaving. I also sometimes bring books to read and textbooks to study (on topics I really like, of course), so there's even more to do. Because with just a player, I MIGHT get lost in the music and wander out, but listening to music and working in a textbook at the same time? I'll probably stay put.

It depends on your counterspace and such, of course. If your dining table is IN your kitchen, or close enough to hear the timer, more's the better. I think of it as planning for any car trip over 10 minutes as a passenger - how to entertain myself.

The bonus is, you can get something else done at the same time!

As for the bathroom, you might have to stick to just your player, or a book you can read sitting on the toilet. I wrap my player up in my clothes so it doesn't get too wet from the steam while I'm actually bathing.

Cheers, hope any of that helps.

I have extra-loud, long ring kitchen timers in every room of the house. Honest to goodness. Before I start anything, I grab that timer. If I think I might wander a bit out of range, I put it in the doorway of the room where the timed task is going on. If I'm going outdoors, I take it with me. (This is where having extras really helps, because they are always getting misplaced.) Yes, staying in the room and keeping an eye on things is the best thing to do, but it's not always going to happen. Even if I think I'm going to pay attention this time, finally, for once, I plan for the worst and set the timer. Another thing you can do with electrical appliances that it's critical that they turn off is plug them into those on/off timers (the ones for turning lights off and on when you're on vacation.) It's not a solution for something that's grounded, but they work for anything with a standard plug.

I want to point out here that one of the major issues Russell Barkley notes that ADHD people have is learning from consequences.Interesting. Would you please share the source so we can see this in context? The inability to learn from consequences can be a symptom of brain damage. Poor impulse control may make it difficult for an ADHDer to think of the consequences of an action - usually long term consequences, but this isn't the same thing as not being able to learn from consequences. This theory would fly against the recommendations of behavor specialists.

I know in a lot of older homes in the UK it isn't so simple to just take a shower rather than a bath. My boyfriend's parents can't put in a shower without ruining the character of their 400+ year old house.

I would just try to follow the advice of others who say try not to do anything too far away. How about turning on the bath before washing your face and things like that so you are doing bathroom things? Maybe start the bath and only allow yourself to choose your clothes, or stay in the bathroom and read a magazine.

I know before medication I used to just get up and walk away in the middle of doing something. I confused alot of people because I would walk away in the middle of a conversation sometimes! :(

For the kitchen could you turn on the water less so it doesn't run so fast?

Do they make timers for ovens that shut it off after so long? I know that at a school I worked at they did that for the laminating machine because people would forget to turn it off.

Do you have a mobile phone that has a timer on it? Do you have a holster so you can attach it to you? That may help!

Hey Applet, don't feel bad. I put water in our whirlpool tub, dumped some cleaner it it and turned it on. I left the room and forgot the jets were running until I heard this loud "SWOOSH, SWOOSH" coming from upstairs! It was the water level falling low enough to spray water all over my bathroom and I had over an inch of water on my bathroom floor! I mopped it up but it was too late....I started to see the seam tape on the ceiling in my kitchen peeling away! Guess where my kitchen is in relative to my bathroom.... UGH!!

I don't care what anyone else says.....I still have trouble learning from my mistakes!:p

Imnapl, please re-read these responses of yours. Do you think they are "advocacy"? Are they truly helpful? I don't know about anyone else, but your posts here made me really angry.That makes two of us. Maybe angry is overkill, but a little annoyed. I pass judgement on no one individual, but from some of my reading on here on this forum as a whole, it feels like some form of pseudo-ADD has spread like wildfire. How many people here truly have ADD? I don't know. There is really little parameters put in place to say what ADD is and what its not. I'm not sure if the type of the people I keep reading about who post about not being able to stop tapping their foot all day at work, then forget to buy a loaf of bread on the way home, and even left their headlights on in their SUV all night really make the cut. They wake up everyday on the right side of the bed and scoot off to the crazy doc to find out what new form of highly functioning bran dysfunction they have toay and get some pharmaceutical speed, learn neat new ways of getting themselves motivated, develop entirely new habits, retrain their minds completely, and all is cured and ADD has now become their gift of creativity and off with the heads of anyone who still really suffer to such a degree that ADD authentically disables them. I think some of those people forget ADD was once described in texts as a real form of organic brain dysfunction, and find themselves caught up in some newly discovered subtype of ADD that describes away the fact that they're just anxious everyday people running to and fro.

Am I alone in this line of thought? Is there a morbid form of ADD?

No, I don't know what ADD really is and I don't know at what point it becomes a disability. I don't believe we've been given that criteria yet and I'm not sure we ever will. I'm not sure what spin-off of ADD some of you have been diagnosed with, but I think this girl has a real problem and I can relate. I think others can too. Your ADD is not her ADD. To her, I think you need more help than you're getting and more evaluation than you've had. Keep your head up and get medicated if it helps. Medication is only part of the answer, the other half lies inside of you. Some real advice, do all you can to minimze your worry over your symptoms. Stress is king in the mind and letting it take over will only make your memory worse, leading you for a walk down a lonesome path where the night consumes and blinds you and leaves you shuffling in circles through a vicous cycle of anxiety and this. You don't want to go walking down there.

I am a deadly multi-tasker, and a mom (the two are synonymous, aren't they??)and have the same problem as you.
What my mom had me do when the babies were born (and I was sleep deppived!) was to carry a small digital timer on my waist. When I put the water on to boil (sterilize), set the timer for four minutes, turn the water down, re-set it for ten.
I still use this method when filling the jacouzzi and things like that which I leave before they are finished.
I haven't solved the problem of not burning pans on the stove though :mad:
and I have gone through seveal seven-dollar timers, since they have gotten bumped off my waist and fallen to the ground.

Hey, ADD has degrees of severity, just like autism. Some autistics cannot speak, or learn to communicate. Some are simply socially different, and some can learn to function pretty close to normal. ADD isn't equivalent to forgetfulness or being fidgety, but I think that because a lot of us can learn, like some autistics, to function pretty close to normal, we look just fine from the outside. That makes a lot of people think that maybe ADD isn't really as bad as everyone's saying it is. And that makes people say one of the things that really ticks me off, "Gee, maybe >I< have a touch of ADD!!!!"

And yes, we do learn from mistakes, but for us, burning dinner because we remembered where that book we were looking for was, and burning dinner because we got a phone call and forgot we were cooking, and burning dinner because we looked outside and realized that the bird feeder needed to be refilled and then saw some weeds that needed pulling, are all DIFFERENT mistakes. A normal thinker might be able to think "I need to put a timer on as soon as the soup starts to bubble." We need to remember not to start looking for something until we turn off the stove, or to take the phone into the kitchen and stand right there by the stove, or to always set a timer and always carry it with us, maybe attach it to our bodies somehow. And even then, there are things that could make us forget >those< lessons. If your ADD is more manageable, you can create routines for yourself that will help, but it takes a ton of effort to do that. And you still might slip up. I have a whole getting home routine that involves a specific pocket in my purse for keys, and a specific place for the purse before I do anything else. All it takes, though, is for the kids to start asking me questions or to narrowly miss stepping on a present from the cats, or a shopping bag starting to rip, and the next thing I know, I've misplaced the keys and/or my purse. Again. Because, of course, you don't just answer the question or clean up the mess or put away the stuff that fell and then go back and put the keys and purse away.

I don't think, though, that just because someone asks for help with a particular problem is necessarily a normal thinker confusing forgetfulness with ADD. We all have situations we've learned to cope with, routines we stick to, only to find that suddenly we're doing a new stupid thing over and over and can't seem to come up with a solution. (Then we smack ourselves on the head and say "d'oh!" when someone comes up with a suggestion we could easily have thought of if we hadn't gotten ourselves all worked up.)

[And yes, we do learn from mistakes, but for us, burning dinner because we remembered where that book we were looking for was, and burning dinner because we got a phone call and forgot we were cooking, and burning dinner because we looked outside and realized that the bird feeder needed to be refilled and then saw some weeds that needed pulling, are all DIFFERENT mistakes. [/QUOTE]

Bingo!! Good point, Faylen! You hit the perverbial nail right on the head! That's what I struggle with. Also time concept. I've devised a schedule this week for my comings and goings. My Hubby laughted that I "scheduled" showers in the mix, but I pointed out to him that it takes me 45 minuets just to get cleaned up and do my hair. That's time I need to account for so I'm not late for things. I schedule my work time, study time, lunch, showers housecleaning, and workout times. I'll see if this helps me with keeping on task and not letting time get away with me....:o

Regarding the dishes: Maybe you can do them under running water, if it's not too expensive, or else start washing them before the sink is filled.