I always felt that my surroundings where a reflection of the disorganization of my mind. English was always a fearful subject that I detested in school. I flunked the English entry exams into college and had to take intermediate English. Instead of ranking myself as ‘dumb’ I thought to myself that I needed to learn and understand the basics. I took the painstaking steps to learn the simplicity of applying an outline to my thoughts and adding meat and potatoes to that mental skeleton. I already spoke in a manner that was matter of fact and it made logical sense to me to write in a manner were one thought flowed into another in a clear and concise manner. Such a writing style now applies to all aspect of my writing life. It has become common sense. The uncommon has become common. Yet, it is not a talent I so readily expose.<O:p</O:p

Can no one around me understand that sometimes it was overwhelming to put things in order around me? I have that skill as to organize by color scheme, by size, by texture, by design; yet to maintain such orderly direction is short lived. I have the skills, knowledge, and creativity to be an immaculate cook, yet only whip out incredible meals when people least expect it. All whom surrounded me had grandeur artistic talent. For the life of me, I could not color coordinate my eye shadow to match my outfit. Thus no fashion statement or high maintenance here. Yet, one can give me a blank computer screen and I can see the possibilities in the written word, or forms to design, or a data base. Once again, such talent is only seen from time to time. I see the beauty in the lines of buildings and wonder was I an architect in a past life? I have wowed with my verbal skills and how I convey a message and think of the many times I was told I’d make a great lawyer. I know for me, I have lived in an existence not being able to understand the big picture, much less the little pieces of the puzzle I have been trying to put together of self.
<O:p</O:p
Was this a coping mechanism or survival skills to detract of self to the outside world and from the disarray inside my mind? I think I am a wealth of talent that has succumbed to living in undiscovered, untapped and many times hidden talents.<O:p</O:p

Does anyone else feel this way?<O:p</O:p

I always felt that my surroundings where a reflection of the disorganization of my mind. . . .
I have to say that I feel the same way. Unfortunately I also recognize that living in a disordered environment makes my inner chaos worse. So once in a while I try to get my s**t together and clean and organize everything. When I manage to do more than scratch the surface I also know that it's only a matter of time until "things fall apart, the center cannot hold" (a line from Yeats but I do not know the reference). Entropy is always lurking there in the background slowly rebuilding the clutter, mental and otherwise.

Likewise with untapped potential. Tons of ideas, fewer projects than ideas, even less follow through. Clear and organized mental space gives way to clutter and detritus.

My question is: am I just fated to this cycle or is there any way to get out of it and get on with things?

-g

same here Scatter-g.....now I'm finding out about ADD I'm a bit less stressed about it....hey I'm wired that way.

but only a bit less stressed..it still bugs the hell out of me and gets me down.

for some perverse reason I create chaos but love order..bummer!

kilt

Yes!!!<O:p</O:p

At first glance, to some I appear a bit OCD, but hang around a while and you will find I can't seem to keep things in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com /><st1:PersonName w:st=or</st1:PersonName>der. I have elab<st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>ate ways of <st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>ganizing myself and my environment that appear brilliant to those around me however they are far to elab<st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>ate to maintain. <O:p</O:p

Having my life <st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>ganized gives me great peace, on the other hand keeping it that way well... that is another st<st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>y completely. It seems so simple to live in <st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>der and do things “the right way” but like everything else, I have trouble with the follow though. Then to start over with the overwhelming task of re<st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>ganizing what has somehow become chaos is well frankly, overwhelming so I avoid it. <O:p

Today my task: to <st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>ganize and clean the garage, it should hold four cars but only one fits and you can only get out on one side and have to follow the "path" through the JUNK to the houses. It is very embarrassing as right now this the main way in and out of the house. That is because last fall I was rew<st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>king the sidewalk and did not get around to finishing that project bef<st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>e the snow started to fly. Anyway, I can do this… the day has been set aside and I am determined but what bothers me is it won't stay that way f<st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName> long. And the attic, well that's another nightmare all on its own. Better not think any m<st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>e about it <st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName> I won't get anything done today.<O:p</O:p

Wish me well...<O:p</O:p

Cowboy

What a most entertaining response. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I can envision that and the good intentions of the sidewalk yet unfinished.

So, the contents of my car seemed to serve as a storage compartment of a mix and match of all kinds of things in complete disarray. It was not until I cleaned and organized my car that a thief broke into it. That was because they could find what they were looking for than. Hmmmm, does that have something to do with Murphy's Law?

I was told I get some weird attachment to the things that fill the space around me. I have always had that thought, of that rainy day arriving, and what if I needed that plastic utencil holder, or the little plastic round thing in the center of the tape dispensor that belonged to the tape holder somewhere in the closet in my room or down the hall or in the garage. Doesn't anyone understand that sane logic?

I finally have to force myself to think 'realistically' and go through the process of just giving things to Goodwill, or put it in the trash. How much of all that I have do I really need or will ever use?

I hope all went well in your endeavors today. If not, there is still another day.... procrastination (that is my hope that there is tomorrow to do it, if it does not get done today.)

Weeping Willow,
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

The saga of the garage continues. Not done yet however, I did make a great deal of head-way and many big piles of things: to donate, to sell and to just plain throw away. I will get back on it this afternoon because if I let any time pass it will get w<?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com /><st1:PersonName w:st=or</st1:PersonName>der. I have elab<st1:PersonName w:st=" /><st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>se and I my never get back around to dealing with it in this lifetime.
<o:p></o:p>

Funny you should mention your car and not wanting to get rid of anything. Same thing happens to me, I keep all kids of junk in my truck because when someone needs something it gives me great pleasure to be able to say: “I have that in my truck”... “I think”??? Now the question is where the heck is it??? This m<st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>ning I did clean it up a little because my wife need to take it to w<st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>k because her vehicle had new brakes put on last week and they are making loud noises so I am taking it to the garage to get it looked at. I’m not sure what would have been m<st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>e embarrassing; loud brakes <st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName> someone seeing the inside of my truck. Outside looks good but whatever you do... don’t open the do<st1:PersonName w:st="on">or</st1:PersonName>, it could cause an avalanche.

Cowboy

I came across another post on "Mind Mapping" and software or sites available. Wow, what a concept. I wonder if we just need a set of instructions in setting down and implementing a plan of what we are doing, how we want the end product to be, and by what means we are going to go to get from point A to point B.

Interesting... I communicate from point A to point B, but I wander around and get lost or distracted in carrying out my plans. Why is what I expect from others, not something I expect of self?

ok... off I go to ponder that thought. Oh yeah, I got a Franklin Planner and went to a workshop on it once. I put the planner together and everything... implemented the planning for a day or two... On a side note, do you balance your check book?

Oh I love planning things, I'm very good at it......but acting on them for more than a moment...hmmmm......impulsivity, procrastination, ...... plan gone

So now I plan things for other people....but keep them well clear of my house!

kilt

PS I love stationery shops...all those neat things ready for organising lives....Oooo its all soooooo anal!

It's interesting to see how we all get tripped up at different phases -- I have serious implementation problems. I often plan to plan, but then my planning gets derailed, or done in by distractions...

I used to balance my checkbook with a fancy program. But then I got tired of spending a whole hour or two focused on it once a month to catch up -- and my bank has an online list of all of my transactions, so let them do it!

I do manage to write down the occasional to do list, and once in a while I write something down on a calendar, but then the wall calendar in my office is from 2006!

For now I am going to build some mind maps... I've already got one started about dealing with my attempt to get a grip on having ADD. :p

-g

How's your mind mapping going on implementation? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, they have software on mindmapping don't they? Of course, I'd rather a program to do that, instead of implementing a new behavior modification that I have to be consciously aware of.... 24/7?! next to impossible. I am blessed to have the friends that I do, I think we are all ADD of somesort, cuz we get along so well. We're not over mel-o-drama and if we don't see each other for weeks, or months, when we do see each other, it is like we just saw each other yesterday.... and forgot about the time lapse... ADD? sounds like it, huh? or TBI.

lol... I love them info commericals advertizing new gadgets... only $19.95!!! to assist me in keeping my house clean and organized. I love home depot and get lost in thought wandering the aisles ~ can you imagine all those things that could keep my home organized?! I ponder, whether I am lost in the clutter... and this is just a disorganized dream.