Coping Skills for Adults with ADD, ADHD

http://thomhartmann.com/coping.shtml

How about you just take your vitimins?

Vitamin don't really help with coping skills

On the other hand, coping skills DO help with your vitamins :D

:D I like vitamins. :frog:

Me too. :D

I need some vitamins

3-5 do list items at a time
instead of writing too much to do at once.

:)
Paul

Color coding your files. It's what I do at work.

Since I am in publishing I have 3 desk top wire file hangers so everything is in front of me:

I don't expect anyone who is not in publishing to know the terminology.

Mass Market Top Sheets, Mass Market Backlist, Current Mass Market Schedule - Green Folders

Trade/Hardcover Top Sheets, Trade/HC Backlist, Current Trade/HC Schedule - Blue Folders

Info for Schedule Changes, Current Schedule Changes - Orange Folders.



Since color folders only come in 4 colors to a box, each of my desk top file hangers holds a different set of things

1 - for top sheets/p and l' and schedule changes (all have to do with the monthly schedule).

2) Folders for each of the editors and their assistants --- Jessica is Tracy and Anne's assistant-- they all have blue folders, Brent is Dan and Doug's assistant, the all have green folders.


Red is my supervisor's favorite color....anything that has to go to her goes into a red folder (top sheets once they are done are taken from their blue or green folder (depending on mm or t/hc) and put into the red folder marked TOP SHEETS FOR GAIL.



I am the first to admit publishing (especially what I do...scheduling) is not the ideal job for a person with ADD/ADHD. But I did it for a year with out the meds kind of ok (well they didn't fire me...got close to it, but didn't) and now with the meds and these new coping techniques...I am surprising even myself.

I may have to try some of those. As disorganized as I am...I'll need all the help I can get. :p

Read the book:

To Do Doing Done
by G. Lynne Snead (Author), Joyce Wycoff (Author)

I read this book when it first came out. It was a gift from my wife after I was diagnosed with ADD. I have used many of the ideas in this book and it HAS made coping with daily life and time management much easier.

!. Recognize you are not your add!
2. Develop a sense of humour-it will keep you sane.
3. Stop Whining, accept that you have a challenge to meet in outsmarting a brain that sometimes misfires.

Thanks for the link, I am likely to be picking up several "reading selections" from Thom Hartman in the near future.

The Edison Gene is a great book by Thom Hartman. It focuses on are strengths as ADD people. Some of the things it talks about is we are better adapted to changing environments. That ADD is a gene and would not be around today (actually its more prevalent today then 50 years ago) if the gene was not helpful in survival of the human race. The forum there is a little intense though for my taste.

How can we as ADDer's use our "special gifts" in the so called "normal world" to be able to do or outdo those that don't have these challanges? Let's come up with some awesome ways to use our ADD as an advantage. What do you think?

Sounds great. Can you give us a first idea of what you have in mind... I'm drawing a blank at the moment... maybe start a new thread like "Public ADD Challenge" or sometrhing like that.

How can we as ADDer's use our "special gifts" in the so called "normal world" to be able to do or outdo those that don't have these challanges? Let's come up with some awesome ways to use our ADD as an advantage. What do you think?

Maybe "Let's use our ADD to our advantage"

yeah.............

or even

ADD Success Stories

I'm thinking that we as ADDers have a hard time keeping on task, we get bored, we get overwhelmed and tend to procrastinate BUT we do come up with great ideas, we're usually very creative, etc. We might not be able to carry out long drawn out projects but we CAN "think out of the box." Yes, we have to get boring stuff done but why can't we come up with our "ADD ways" and we can be different, there's nothing wrong with that. We can be winsome.

Paulbf That sounds good but I want us not to just read success stories of others but to be an active participant. Use the ideas that we all have even if we can't seem to get anything done, like me. We don't have to wait until we "get it together" to participate.

OK then
ADD Success Ideas
or
ADDvantages
or
Things I do Well

ADD Success ideas sounds great!

Or The ADD Challenge like you mentioned before.

I didn't realize until today how many threads there were in each forum!

pauldf I didn't mean to go on and on about the title. I didn't realize it until I read all the messages a while ago, how embarrassing! Sorry.

I don't exactly know, do you put the new thread through or should I?

OK I did it... here:
http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=88196#post88196

Day Planner!

Stickie Notes!

Keeping your house orgainized so when you have to clean, it makes it easier because there is a place for everything, it's not as overwhelming that way.

Keep your keys, glasses, watch, purse, day planner, palm, cell phone etc in the the same place and put it there as soon as you get home as to avoid misplaceing it.

Try to get into a routine for your work week, get up at the same time, get in the shower at the same time, leave the house at the same time etc. (this one is really hard for me because I hate routine and doing things the same way twice so I have to force myself to...)

To do lists

Try really hard to think about exactly what you want to say and what point you want to make, how you want to come across, before opening your mouth. Less is more sometimes, words are powerful and all that rot. (I tend to blurt out insensative remarks and offending people before I think about what I am saying.... )

Set goals. Weekly, Monthly, Yearly, 5 years from now....

And always remember that really successful people have ADD too! No one is perfect!

Hartman's coping strategies are very well articulated. I liked them. Thanks for the post.

I have just read some of Thom Hartmann's book, great new way to look at life and our particular "talents". He has specific jobs listed that fit us better, and I think forcing a more usual job/duty on us simply doesn't work, as I am sure we all have experienced. It helps to look back and understand why I/we have done some of the coping skills as a matter of survival, what would it be like not to be special?

Making yourself finish a job; even if it takes several runs at it to finally get it all done, tools away, mess wiped up.

one of the really analog type things i've done that isn't a 'system' is to put everything i need on me. so i have a backpack, i have meds in my pill case so i don't have to worry whether i took the at home or not..plus i put all the items that i need in a very obvious place so that i cannot miss it..like stacked on my coffee table which is in plain view, grouped together w/ all the other stuff i cart to work on my commute: cd's keys money paperwork water cellphone notebooks etc...
i have the best mornings when i do this..this way i can get everything i need into my car and i'll have a great day b/c i have everything that i need...since i work so far away from home its kind of serious if i forget my bank card and i'm running out of gas!! and yes this has happened before.

plus: just making allowances for your particular weaknesses. for me its keys. i have about seven pairs of carkey/home keys around my house so if i freak out and i'm running late and i don't have my master set..i'll just grab another one ..who cares?
LOL
love that

OK, this one's kind of extreme but if you're in a situation where you can do it it works great...

Hubby and I sat down and replanned the usage of our entire house so that every room is now kind of "regimented" for a specific purpose. That way I can go from room to room as I need to do different tasks.

For example:

We switched bedrooms with one of the kids so that they're both on the main floor right outside the living room now (we've got a small house) and we're down in the finished walkout basement...kind of by ourselves. Now when I need to get away, I can go to our room and actually get away from the noise of the main living area upstairs.

We also moved our computer desk from the main living room upstairs down to the family room in the basement (right outside our room, kind of in a corner where there aren't any distractions so I can focus on work when I need to).

Basically our entire main floor (living room, kitchen, kids rooms, bathroom) now functions as a family place with each area separated-living room is only for watching TV, hanging out, playing family games, etc.-kitchen is only for cooking and eating and helping kids with homework, and our entire lower level (family room and our bedroom) has become for me and my hubby-we go down there to watch TV and talk if we need to be alone or after the kids go to bed, computer desk is down there so I go if there's something I need to get done but otherwise it's out of sight, out of mind...

Has done tons to help me create some structure in the house (my son is ADHD as well-we really needed it around here!), now if I can just get all the clutter cleared out it'll be even better...

Here's his nutshell idea.
No to do lists. They are an archaic waste of time.

Instead you have a "next actions" list as well as a projects list. Any data base will help you coordinate these quite nicely.

His definition of a project? Anything that lasts more than two minutes that has more than one step.

His theory? Everything in our heads that is undone is taking up space and sucking up energy. So get it out of our heads and onto paper.

He recomends putting everything in one big pile that is undone and make a decision on it: Delegate it/ Do it or put it on a "someday maybe list" which is cool because it's a list of things I'm not doing that I don't feel guilty about because I have no intention of doing them.

Any way if anyone is interested in this, he's got a book called "getting things done" and it seems to be a very ADD friendly system all though like anything if you don't use it... but it can be kind of fun to use.

I'd be happy to tell you more about what I know, but I will say this. For the most part I know where all my stuff is right now. I know what I'm doing and what I'm not doing and I don't feel like anything is slipping through the cracks.

[QUOTE=jenni4476]
Basically our entire main floor (living room, kitchen, kids rooms, bathroom) now functions as a family place with each area separated-living room is only for watching TV, hanging out, playing family games, etc.-kitchen is only for cooking and eating and helping kids with homework, and our entire lower level (family room and our bedroom) has become for me and my hubby-we go down there to watch TV and talk if we need to be alone or after the kids go to bed, computer desk is down there so I go if there's something I need to get done but otherwise it's out of sight, out of mind...

This is a terrific way to do it Jenni, and very much in line with Alexander's book on planning spaces for people. He feels that spaces need to be for the people who live there and that couple space is very very important and often overlooked in house planning. We tend to focus so much on our kids that we let them have the run of the entire house. They need their own space too.

I love the sound of your new arrangement. I'm trying to think how I can do this for our house.

White boards...white boards...white board.BIG ONES!!!
My wife keeps a running calander hanging in the kitchen. SO for example she already has dates for January listed on there. I write stuff in the clanader boxes as soon as I get a notice about a appt, places I have to be , etc... Somtimes I get anxiety and just look at the board (calms me down). It is under control.

At work I use the board to list all the thing I need to get done. No due dates just the things - very often people tell you stuff verbally , that's when I say hang on...let me write that on my white board.

Atleast I don't forget to do it- keeping track of the due dates is another problem. Any ideas?

Color coding your files. It's what I do at work.

Since I am in publishing...

... I am the first to admit publishing (especially what I do...scheduling) is not the ideal job for a person with ADD/ADHD. But I did it for a year with out the meds kind of ok (well they didn't fire me...got close to it, but didn't) and now with the meds and these new coping techniques...I am surprising even myself.

How timely! Just read your post, and I'm in a side aspect of publishing--my company develops content for educational publishers--and I'm wondering if I'm going to get fired today.

How did you do it without the meds? I'm not on meds--I haven't even been formally diganosed yet, but I suspect it's only an appointment away--and I know I'm either about to 1) be sacked or 2) be asked to resign.

It seems like such a paradox--something so fast-moving and always on the go--shouldn't I be able to adapt to it like gangbusters? I feel so defective most of the time--am so envious of people who just go to work, and they make it look so easy to be organized and have their stuff together.

White boards...white boards...white board.BIG ONES!!!



I've got one hanging on the wall right by my bed--can't miss it even if I tried!! It catches all (ok...ideally it would catch all---this IS an ADDer we're talking about... ;) ) those "don't forget to..." things that pop in and out of my brain....

I really like the idea of keeping everything you need on your person. I have been using this technique for years. This year I started to use ziploc baggies to keep stuff INSIDE the bookbags. Now I can find stuff 10x faster. No stress!!

ok ok.. so how about " I need organization". ..
I am seriously thinking the backpack thing is a superb idea.
thanks for that.
anymore easy tidbits ..
a schedule is so hard to keep for me.. tell me how you do it??

AHHHHH I SEE THE WHITEBOARD IDEA IS NOT ONLY MINE.. YEAY! (lol)

AHH, my ADD is so bad rite now,:confused: i cant even focus on reading that article!! Puff.. oh well i'll try again later. It happends

I also color code things too,esp. when I am in school. I try to deal with one room in my apartment at a time instead of hoping all over the place when I am trying to clean or organise things too. My therapist is the one to do one room or corner at a time because I would get so overwhelmed. auntchris:p

Ok...What about this incessant background noise thing? I know the cliché of a half tuned radio but for me its every station at the same time, all full of static and at full volume!!! Drives me nuts, how are you supposed to focus on anything when sum total of everything you ever saw, did, read or heard are rampaging through your head all at the same time? I feel like I have the brain equivalent of Tinnitus! And the older I get the more info I cram in my head and the worse it gets! As far as being even remotely organised, structured or motivated much less stabilising this insane .1 millisecond frustration threshold or feeling anything other than a bewildered chained/straight jacket clad passenger on the depths of darkness to delirium rollercoaster that is my every day.......
Ahh yes the whole pharmacopoeia of meds I have had dished out to me and I find myself having to resist asking my shrink if he can just cut to the chase and give me a intracranial injection of Botox…sure I might be in a state of total paralysis but I tell you that peace and quite would have to be bliss!

Folks your ideas are fantastic keep em coming! I only whish I could pickup more than just small fragments over this infernal racket! Then again I guess if I put together lots of the small fragments I’ll get what… a chaotic shambles?? be right at home! :))

jon

I really like my PDA. I use outlook which I sync with my computer at home and the one at work. I also just got a new cell phone that has this feature. It really stinks learning everything, but once your going its great. The best feature is that it beeps at you when you have to do something (i.e. take meds). The scarry part is I wouldn't even know my birthday if i lost it. hehe ann

Actually Hollyanne, I had the same problem as I was skimming for points. Instead I found a big transcript of sorts and I lost myself in it...

AHH, my ADD is so bad rite now,:confused: i cant even focus on reading that article!! Puff.. oh well i'll try again later. It happends

Some Coping Skills I've LearnedFocus on the positive with positive self commentary




If things aren't faring well in real life, focus on what will fare well and the courage you've faced to take on the difficulties in life




If others are not supporting you block it out. Nod and smile but listen to what you have witnessed actually work
If others are being particularly difficult, read the book "Nasty People". It's an extremely short read and is great for those who need a lift.
If at first you don't succeed, try try try and try x10 again!


Sometimes I feel I have a lot of failed projects, but this thinking is wrong. Instead I have a lot of projects, wanting to win me over so I can go and beautify them. If you spent a good amount of effort on something and find out the idea is great, go back to it and improve upon it. Most likely you've improved dramatically since the last time you've worked on it.
If you are beating yourself over something you didn't finish, stop, look and listen before you make generalizations.

Record what happens, not what you THINK will happen

When you pick up the project, you might dread everything but write down that everything. What are you dreading? A mass exodus hating you? A realization you're only "barely competent"? Write it all down, even if it sounds bad and inappropriate because those things are even more important than the "happy good thoughts". Then describe the feelings you have when you are about to start the project. Don't belittle yourself or any attitudes you have. But do describe any new feelings you may have as things progress. Through a journal you will see for a fact what happens. And most often next time you find youself in the same situation, you'll see what happened to you.

When something bad does happen, record it and note why it did



We all have times when we have traumatizing experiences, and often it turns out really bad. One of the ways that helped me the most was to realize (over time) what causes them to happen and also how to recover when it happens again. This said, a support group is the best.


When you receive hate, bitterness, and just all out inappropriate behavior defend yourself




Ever had someone do something that hurts you but you don't defend yourself because you think they are right or it was a business transaction? There are a few things you can do to help mitigate this problem

ONE: let them KNOW your limits and also known dilemmas.

If you know for a fact you take a long time on a project, tell them and address it to them in a way where they will know what to deal with.
(Side note, this is not a PROBLEM with you but simply we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. We're not perfect and it's tiring to be even close to perfect. Be human and be fair)

TWO: Don't let ADD trap you into thinking you deserve no better than letting others walk all over you



If people have a habit of walking all over you, isolate it and stick up for yourself.

Three: If someone keeps telling you your methods are wrong, first be polite and tell them to back off. But if that doesn't work, don't tolerate it.



Self respect is the most enduring sign of success one can ever possess. While you have areas that others may point out and say you should improve, they are not in the right to tell you to improve it. Respect yourself, and soon they may grow to respect you!
Stay your ground. If someone guilts you after you've been completely fair in the situation, defend yourself.

And one more VERY important thing. BUY A WATCH!

Keeping track of time is PARAMOUNT

Hiya!!! I'm new! How are you!

My main interest is related to relationship interactions betweed two add people...
me and my hubby both have adult add...not sure which type...was diagnosed as a toddler....he never had appropriate treatment and I was on ritalin...but now we both are on hyper scary restrictive but yummy diets and vitamins and whatever else we find works without talking to a pharmacist.(not pill phobic...just been there, done the fluexitine) I would love to see some comments and tips from other couples with add. My feeling is two add people can become a minefield...or a bed of roses, depending on how it is managed...thanx!

Join the marines. you dont have time to think.