Hi all,

I was hoping you could offer your own tips/coping strategies for dealing with negativity, pessimism and repetitive negative thoughts. When I first went onto concerta xl, things started looking up for me and I felt like things were starting to work out, but recently since being on them about two months; my negativity seems to be back with a vengeance and I can't seem to stop thinking about all the bad parts of me.

Work is tough at the moment. I've started resenting my job and although my colegues are really nice people most of the time, I can't help feeling bitter that Im in a job I hate.

Family life too, I don't feel like I'm a part of my family and feel like I'm looked down upon even by my younger siblings. That's always been the case really.

All in all, I'm feeling pretty weak and pathetic and my thoughts seem to back that up no matter how hard I try to look at things in a posistive way. Seems like I'm always trying to wrestle in my head with bad thoughts and feelings.

It's all getting abit confusing too and my thoughts are contradicting each other and not making much sense.

Any advice? I'm at a loss and don't have all that many people who I feel I can talk to. Thanks

Whenever I feel like that I try and do things that I enjoy, like playing my guitar or drawing. Then because I'm good at those things and I like doing them it makes me feel better about myself and I start feeling confident again.

Cognitive-behaviour therapy (CBT) is designed to tackle these kinds of automatic negative thoughts. It's kind of the "in-thing" with the NHS these days.
You might want to consider getting some counselling to allow you to look at your life in a more rational way.

The book Learned Optimism (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Learned-Optimism-Change-Your-Mind/dp/1400078393/ref=sr_1_1/026-7661836-2085239?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175729057&sr=1-1) is a great introduction to this kind of thing.

The simplest solution I can offer that you can do yourself is to remember and use the two phrases below--and take action.

1: Whatever happens, I'll handle it!

2: What action can I take to improve my life right now?
(post them in your car, on your bathroom mirror, and anywhere else your face points to frequently)

We humans are under the mistaken impression that motivation leads to action.

In reality: action creates motivation.

Find some small action to take that creates a little motivation.

Then find an action to take that is a little larger than the first. This creates a little more motivation.

When faced with taking action on things you would really rather not face: repeat phrase 1 to yourself and dive in.

If you can do this for at least 21 days straight you'll start feeling better about things and you'll look back at all of the little things you have accomplished.

If you have a setback or miss a day just start the 21 day clock over at that day and keep doing it until it works.

I bury my head in the sand by exercising like a mad man. I'll go for a 6 hour bike ride when I'm feeling really low, or a 1-hour pumper-upper.

After a 6 hour ride, you just don't give a hoot about your problems. Seriously, everyone should try it.

I second pedalpounder's advice, but then many of us don't have the time or patience for a full six hours. When I'm circling around the same old stuff mentally I go for a run, or a bike ride. At first it's tough to let go of the mental junk, but eventually the endorphins kick in and I get in a great zone that really lifts me out of my funk. The hard part is getting up off the couch and and doing it.

Other than that, even though I do not have a spiritual bone in my body, I find it helpful to remember the phrase "This too shall pass..."

It comes from an ancient Jewish folktale. One version of it is this,


A powerful king, ruler of many domains, was in a position of such magnificence that wise men were his mere employees. And yet one day he felt himself confused and called the sages to him. He said: 'I do not know the cause, but something impels me to seek a certain ring, one that will enable me to stabilize my state. 'I must have such a ring. And this ring must be one which, when I am unhappy, will make me joyful. At the same time, if I am happy and look upon it, I must be made sad.' The wise men consulted one another, and threw themselves into deep contemplation, and finally they came to a decision as to the character of this ring which would suit their king. The ring which they devised was one upon which was inscribed the legend: This, too, will pass.
-g

For me, I do what i'm doing right now.....

I go on the computer and read messageboards or watch vids or listen to music or better yet.... do all that at the same time, ha! Ya know, try to bury my mind into the internet. Oh, and watch tv, too.

I went through a not-fun period last week. I kept thinking of all the other times I failed to do a particular thing (in this case, it was turning in a project on time). What got me through was a day of vegging out to give my self a break and remembering that EVERY time is different. I can't say the past experiences were the same because they happened in very different circumstances, and as much as I WANTED to believe this thing "always" happens, at the end of the day I convinced myself that it really wasn't. And because it was a very different thing, I had no choice but to react to it differently.

And this is where I try my hardest to believe it's not the same old thing. To give me hope that things will change. And then use that hope to motivate me to change.

And while I haven't quite changed significantly, just DOING something different regardless of profundity is a massive step...or so I keep telling myself. =)

Okay but "really"--when's the last time you took a vacation? =)

p.s. taking a drive around the bay also helps me =)

LC, this is a really good idea for a thread. It is so common among ADDers.

I am reading and doing the exercises in the book, The Confidence Plan (http://www.amazon.com/Confidence-Plan-How-Build-Stronger/dp/1402203497/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-9549558-0119946?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175810780&sr=8-1)by Ursiny.

This is a huge struggle for me, right now, I am making a purposeful effort to confront each negative thought and really examine the reality of it-worst case and best case scenarios-lots to learn though.

Nice to share ideas.

My Clinical Hypnotherapist is trying to use external imaging to work on this problem with me...to early to tell if its working properly but I have noticed a slight improvement

Thanks for the input everyone :)

It's really good to see everybody's different coping strategies and how they get through crap in their own way.

Lot's of stuff I'm gonna try and incoporate ( Although a six hour bike ride? do I have to? ;) )

Hopefully we can keep sharing our tips/ideas. I'm looking into CBT and REBT at the moment. They seem really practical. Thanks :)

A 6 hour bike ride would help with my negativity because I would be in a coma, LOL!!

Seriously, I read my Bible and pray when I have a lot of negative thoughts. Some may consider it *crazy*, but I really do believe that there are forces of spiritual wickedness that are always trying to bring us down. When I focus on God's love for me although He knows very well that I totally don't make the grade, and I focus on who He is, I get a lot of relief from the "bad thoughts."

I also go into what I call "Logical Mode." If I have a thought, "I am stupid," I'll think to myself, well, that's not entirely true. Although there are certain things that I haven't learned and don't excel at, I'm very good at xy and z, so in reality I'm not stupid." If I think, "I am going to make a fool of myself," I'll say well, that certainly is one possibility, but another possibility is that I'll do a great job and feel great about myself. Preparation is key in doing well, so what can I do now to prepare myself better?" So I try not to uncritically accept every piece of cruddy thinking that pops into my head.

And a good nap never hurts either!

I dont know if I can do a 6 hour bike ride (mnt or rd) but I do try to ride about 3-4 times a week for about 1:30 to 2 hours. Another way I escape is by doing homework,(i know not everybody can do this) but working on calc III takes me at least 6 hours a week if its a non test week.

Visual IMages-Oh I would like to talk to you, I am a teacher, I got the job sort of on a fluke-they liked me-but they didn't research me enough-bcause I am making a huge mess of the whole thing, It is teaching 4-5 add and adhd and ld kids, it is hard all the negative thinking, I am supposed to be positive, uplifting andthe best thing that ever happened to them, instead I have made things worse.

How in the world do you get your mind out of the crapper and on to somwhere where you can make a difference? How, when where why and yeah how? I have it inside that I can do it, but I can't convince my brain.

Any help is appreciated. Negative thoughts are so automatic and natural, and turn things so wrong inside. I would love to know how to stop that lying they are doing to me, and start "making my own river" so to speak, thanks for this thread!!!:o

What changed my life a great deal was reading the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Once I learned that all my negative thoughts were nothing more than a story in the head, it became easier to allow them to be. At my best a negative thought comes in, I look at it...oh okay..there's a negative thought...something has hit a file..and SHOOOM it's gone (and an actual SHOOOM noise does occur)..at my worst I'll burn in my own personal hell for a while..but it never lasts like it used to because eventually I can recognize it for what it is.

There are many techniques that will help, but not every one will help you. Hopefully you can find the right solution that fits you best. Good luck.