I have been with my boyfriend a long time, and, I love him alot, but, I have a few concerns I need to get off my chest.

He has always been more prone to substance abuse then I. Whether its, drugs, alcohol or pills.. he will and enjoys doing it.

First red flag: Few years ago: Cold medicine was used for recreational use that he wasnt eager to give up, he would take it everyday untill it finally made him too sick... then he stopped.

Periods of boozing daily and smoking weed came and went (I always quit before him)

The Problem Now: Stimulants prescribed for MY ADD (althought I dont think he believes I have ADD) when I first starting these medications, I was also second guessing my own ADD as well, as wondering if he had it too (and his mother) So he had tried them here and there. I would fall asleep after taking them.. and he would be awake, or slightly stimulated at times.


It just bothers me that he cant talk to me. That he has to steal from me, and, worse that I look like a fool for not noticing. It makes me feel like a joke. He knows that these medications are expensive ESPECIALLY ADDERALL (which I am now) yet I dont think he realizes that every pill he takes from..leaves me short and paying for more.

He isnt like needing an intervention or anything for his addiction.. he just gets really bored, or bummed about life (I do too) and uses these things to ignore the problems, or escape temporarily.

Yesterday I counted my Ritalin I had left over from my first
prescription...and re-counted them again today...and 2 are missing. :(

I've mentioned to him to go talk to someone about how he feels etc, etc he wont.

I had a partner like that myself and it is just a pain in the *** when they won't go to the doctor themselves and get their own prescription (if there's only 2 missing then he isn't like say one of my ex's who took 86 pills I had left and ate them in 3 days). He may not be ADHD (stims making them tired) but ADD (they kind of wake them up)... note: caffiene makes me jittery if I drink too much and anxious and I sleep on Adderall. My new doc thinks that if coffee makes me anxious then I don't have ADHD but I said try drinking a whole pot of it in a whack and you'll feel the same. Either way tell him if he can't get his own, to get them from someone else.

Two pills aren't a lot in the big picture, so I wonder if he isn't just trying them to see how they work? On the other hand, his history of substance abuse puts a different light on the matter. I've met people who would snort, inhale, ingest anything to see what it would do. Lock your meds up.

Veighen, is it easy to find an ADHD expert in your area?

These are 2 missing pills... that I KNOW of.

In the past, I remember holding onto the cold medicine, pot, alcohol etc,etc.. and some would always be missing. There always seemed less then I remember seeing.

I have count my pills numerous times.. but, I have a terrible memory and most often when I am sure I had a certain amount... then Im left second guessing myself and my memory.

Im not saying its a huge problem, he isnt taking 85 of them from.. but I think he does take the odd one here and there.

What worries me the most was when I had some DEX left over (which I really wanted to hold on to, incase the ADDERALL turned out not to work) he ended up finishing them all off. Taking up to 6 a day(5mg each) I shouldnt have let it happen, I know that. Its my mistake.

He would keep bugging me for another one, another one... and I told him I needed them.

I dont have an addictive personalty, and, I know he is vulnerable when it comes to substances. I can say no... and he says, whynot.


My problem is the ADDERALL is so expensive, and he knows this.

I will be getting a new prescrition soon for Adderall. Each pill will be 15mg (i take 2x a day) I just dont want him helping himself to those.

And I dont want him to think I dont trust him.. by locking them up. As it is, I place them in a new spot each time I reach for them. So, I am already kinda "hiding" them. I just want to be able to trust him, and, NOT look like a fool in the process.

Veighen, you need to take a brain break and reread what you just wrote.

And I dont want him to think I dont trust him.. by locking them up. As it is, I place them in a new spot each time I reach for them. So, I am already kinda "hiding" them. I just want to be able to trust him, and, NOT look like a fool in the process.<!-- / message -->
there are two things here one the cost of the medication and the fact you need them. yes if you lock them he may get mad at you and feel that you dont trust him, but from what I have read you dont trust him and frankly you should not compleatly trust him with this. Would you give and alcohlic the keys to the liquor cabnet? This is really no difference. I know a lot of people say that you cant lock or hide things because an addict will find a way to get them, well this is true, but you need those meds and really cant take the chance of loosing out on them. It's not just the cost either, but adderall is a controlled substance so you cant just get another refill if you run out.
Veighen, you need to take a brain break and reread what you just wrote.I agree with this you need to step back and look at this from a distance. if there is someone you trust very well talk to him or her about this and get a second opinion and advice. let us know how things go.

I have been with my boyfriend a long time, and, I love him alot, but, I have a few concerns I need to get off my chest.

He has always been more prone to substance abuse then I. Whether its, drugs, alcohol or pills.. he will and enjoys doing it.

First red flag: Few years ago: Cold medicine was used for recreational use that he wasnt eager to give up, he would take it everyday untill it finally made him too sick... then he stopped.

Periods of boozing daily and smoking weed came and went (I always quit before him)

The Problem Now: Stimulants prescribed for MY ADD (althought I dont think he believes I have ADD) when I first starting these medications, I was also second guessing my own ADD as well, as wondering if he had it too (and his mother) So he had tried them here and there. I would fall asleep after taking them.. and he would be awake, or slightly stimulated at times.

Your ADD Meds were prescribed for you for your ADD, your bf believing you have ADD or not it totally irrevelant. Alot of people, right after they are dx will start to see what may or may not be ADD Symptoms in others. And since it has shown to be genetic, you wondering about his mother just seems to follow the course.


It just bothers me that he cant talk to me. That he has to steal from me, and, worse that I look like a fool for not noticing. It makes me feel like a joke. He knows that these medications are expensive ESPECIALLY ADDERALL (which I am now) yet I dont think he realizes that every pill he takes from..leaves me short and paying for more.

It's not that he can't talk to you, he chooses not to talk to you. He knows that the medication is expensive, he knows that you are given a months worth/certain amount to last a specific time frame.......so how could he Not be aware that by stealing them he is shorting you medication wise as well as money wise.

You have said how you feel about him, but what are his feelings for you ? I don't know you or him. But what I do know is that when you Love someone or even Care about them like a really good friend . You Do Not Steal from them, make them look like a fool, feel like a joke, ect.

He isnt like needing an intervention or anything for his addiction.. he just gets really bored, or bummed about life (I do too) and uses these things to ignore the problems, or escape temporarily.

Most people get really bored or bummed about life from time to time...it's just part of living. As for ignoring his problems & escapeing them temporarily, with some things you may be able to do this for a short time....but an Addiction is not one of those things. He may not need a "intervention" but he most definately needs help........but unfortunately he doesn't want it.

Yesterday I counted my Ritalin I had left over from my first
prescription...and re-counted them again today...and 2 are missing. :(

When you count your meds write down on a piece of paper the date, the med & the number of tablets/capsules. Put the piece of paper in a place where he wouldn't be able to easily find it. Or if you have a cell phone, put it in that. List it in you address book beginning with "A" or "1" and follow it by a name or put in the name of the med. For example Aadderall ( as the name), 411-45 ( as the number) 4 would be for April & 11 for the date. You could change the date every day. I know that it sounds silly but if he doesn't use/look through your cell phone it may be the best place to keep it. If it has the type of Address Book where you can add Details then that would be even better.

I've mentioned to him to go talk to someone about how he feels etc, etc he wont.
I have read this Thread several times & I have had it on my mind since I read it the first time right after you Posted it. And there is something that has been in the back of my mind. I know that you said you two have been together for a long time & that you Love him alot. But in all Honesty, You Deserve Better. Does he abuse you physically or are you afraid that he might ? Has he ever threatened to ? Are you settleing for being made to look like a fool & feel like a joke, to be used & stolen from because you are more afraid of being without him & being alone than you are living with that emotional abuse( and that is what it is "emotional abuse")

I do not mean to sound cold or hard hearted, I Honestly don't. And the answers to the questions that I asked are not something that needs to be answered here. They are questions that you need to ask yourself. Also you haven't mentioned any children, so I'm assumeing that you don't have any. How would you feel if it was your childs meds that he was stealing ?

You are Cared about here. Please keep us Posted on how you are doing & how things are going.

BlessedLady