View Full Version : I need some advice


mochakk
04-11-07, 09:25 PM
I've been feeling so depressed that I'm not sure what my next step should be. It's not that I can't get out of bed, but I just feel flat and like I don't care whether or not I go on. I see other people going about their lives, having families, doing hobbies, caring about their careers, but it all seems too much an effort. I just want to curl up very still and not move, but I'm a single woman and need to take care of myself. I'm slowly realizing that my current job may not be a good fit for me, but at least I get insurance there that covers my therapy for AHDH and depression - and my excellent therapist is one of the things keeping me going right now. Does anyone know about whether it would be possible to claim disability for a mental illness? I'm not sure it's the right thing to do as I'm able-bodied and could certainly do some kind of work if I don't keep this job as an editor (my supervisor has been unhappy with me and although I'm smart and have a good attitude, I haven't found a way to do the work they way she wants it, but that's another long story). I just don't know if I could muster a new job search right now, but going into my current work feels like hell some days. Then I start thinking about the people in Iraq and get mad at myself for having a pity party. Anyway, I needed to "emote" and would appreciate any support anyone on the board has to offer. I just don't seem to care if I live one more day or a week, what's the difference?

cwbyjohnson
04-11-07, 09:31 PM
What kind, if any, medication are you taking currently? I feel for you, I was there last year at about this time. It took a year of experimenting with different approaches with my psychiatrist, but I'm starting to come out of the fog I was in. I hope the best for you.

Didi
04-11-07, 10:04 PM
I have suffered from depression for my entire life, and mostly without the aid of a psychiatrist or counsellor. I found that on your darkest days all you can do is force yourself out of bed and push yourself out into the world. A few months ago, everything was so dark I wouldn't even get out the door to go to school. It was my friends who decided to just show up at my door and "kidnap" me to get me out of the house if they had to. I found that just having people around me really helped.

mochakk
04-12-07, 03:12 PM
What kind, if any, medication are you taking currently? I feel for you, I was there last year at about this time. It took a year of experimenting with different approaches with my psychiatrist, but I'm starting to come out of the fog I was in. I hope the best for you.
Hi-thanks for your response and encouragement - just knowing someone has been there helps. I'm taking 40 mg Prozac and 27mg Concerta every day, in addition to omega-3, ginkco biloboa, and a few other supplements supposed to help with mood and energy.

I was fortunate to be able to get in to see my psychiatrist this morning and consider how to approach my situation. What I find challenging - besides the wild mood swings - is trying to find my own responsibility in all this - how my own reactions and beliefs are making me feel even worse. Has anyone on the board seen "The Secret"? Well, I guess at this point it would be hard to not have at least heard of it. At any rate, their argument is compelling - that we're creating the world around us. But sometimes, just hearing that hurts because instead of motivating me to try to create something good, I just hate myself for sinking into depression in the first place...ach! Anyway, I'm going to take it a day at a time right now - well, more like hourly increments, to avoid the panic zone.

cwbyjohnson
04-12-07, 06:45 PM
I have seen "The Secret" and found it to be interesting and frustrating for the same reasons you stated above. Whenever I feel out of focus or depressed I tend to blame myself. Another good movie about quantum physics and the mind is "What the Bleep Do We Know."

scatter-g
04-12-07, 07:15 PM
Hi Mochakk,
I just wanted to say that I too also empathise. Depression really is hard to deal with. I've had times where every day I'd just feel like things were totally bleak and I couldn't stand myself, living inside my own skin, knowing what I know about awful stuff in the world that I focus even more on when I am depressed. Sometimes its just a matter of waiting until that phase passes, or sometimes friends have helped lift me out of it, and twice (including now) I've relied on medication to clear the fog a bit.

Maybe actually taking steps to better your work situation might help start to lift you out. Work woes can really make you feel trapped and that, in my experience, has made depression worse.

Music too, has always been a life saver -- even just sitting in the dark with headphones on listening to music I love has got me through some pretty rough times.

Enough advice from me -- I'm sure you know what helps you to deal. :D

Ciao!
-g

mochakk
04-13-07, 12:15 AM
[QUOTE=scatter-g]Hi Mochakk,
I just wanted to say that I too also empathise. Depression really is hard to deal with. I've had times where every day I'd just feel like things were totally bleak and I couldn't stand myself, living inside my own skin, knowing what I know about awful stuff in the world that I focus even more on when I am depressed. Sometimes its just a matter of waiting until that phase passes, or sometimes friends have helped lift me out of it, and twice (including now) I've relied on medication to clear the fog a bit.

Maybe actually taking steps to better your work situation might help start to lift you out. Work woes can really make you feel trapped and that, in my experience, has made depression worse.

Music too, has always been a life saver -- even just sitting in the dark with headphones on listening to music I love has got me through some pretty rough times.

Thanks for your note - that's comforting. I can relate to the feeling of wanting to get of my own skin. I did almost two hours in the gym on the cycle today and could literally feel the pain in my skin - but the endorphins helped and it was better than staring at the walls or bad TV or reading another self-help book.

Last night I did sit and listen to music...have some new CDs by an artist named Daniel Nahmod, and his music is beautiful and comforting.

I for sure need to address my work situation and decide if it's really for me or how I can improve it. In the meantime, waiting for the phase to pass, as you say. I've been in the pits before...I just want to stop going there.

mochakk
04-13-07, 12:18 AM
I have seen "The Secret" and found it to be interesting and frustrating for the same reasons you stated above. Whenever I feel out of focus or depressed I tend to blame myself. Another good movie about quantum physics and the mind is "What the Bleep Do We Know."I saw "What the Bleep" and found that one interesting too. I thought the scene where the woman was in the bathroom and all the little "pink creatures" representing her emotions were running scared because she was sending her body thoughts of hate. A very vivid portrayal, and I'm working on sending more pleasant thoughts to my much maligned self.

scatter-g
04-13-07, 12:39 AM
Thanks for your note - that's comforting. I can relate to the feeling of wanting to get of my own skin. I did almost two hours in the gym on the cycle today and could literally feel the pain in my skin - but the endorphins helped and it was better than staring at the walls or bad TV or reading another self-help book.

Last night I did sit and listen to music...have some new CDs by an artist named Daniel Nahmod, and his music is beautiful and comforting.

<!-- / message --><!-- controls --> I for sure need to address my work situation and decide if it's really for me or how I can improve it. In the meantime, waiting for the phase to pass, as you say. I've been in the pits before...I just want to stop going there.
Happy to help. I've been going through some rough business lately too and this forum has been a great source of support. It's nice to find a bunch of random strangers with similar experiences and who go out of their way not to judge you.

Can't say enough good things about exercise -- though when I am in a funk the LAST thing I want to do is go for a run or a bike ride. But it's finally getting through my thick head that after the initial psychological torture of exercising when I am depressed that it will make me feel better.

Cheers,
-g

stubble
06-04-07, 05:47 AM
Hey! Hey! You donít need to be so depressed. Life is too short to waste it like this; make every moment of your life worth living. Enjoy every problem and joy. Even I have problems but I need to face them; I canít evade them. Since 2 months Iím taking Lexapro capsules; it helps to relax the nerves. I feel more at ease with it. I went to see a doctor and he prescribed this medicine to me. I canít do without this medicine, I think after every 2 weeks I need to place new order for these capsules; the people of <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on"></st1:country-region></st1:place> Canada Pharmacy (http://www.drugdelivery.ca/) must be thinking that Iím mad (for buying all these medicines)

Crazy~Feet
06-04-07, 05:53 AM
Hi-thanks for your response and encouragement - just knowing someone has been there helps. I'm taking 40 mg Prozac and 27mg Concerta every day, in addition to omega-3, ginkco biloboa, and a few other supplements supposed to help with mood and energy.

I was fortunate to be able to get in to see my psychiatrist this morning and consider how to approach my situation. What I find challenging - besides the wild mood swings - is trying to find my own responsibility in all this - how my own reactions and beliefs are making me feel even worse. Has anyone on the board seen "The Secret"? Well, I guess at this point it would be hard to not have at least heard of it. At any rate, their argument is compelling - that we're creating the world around us. But sometimes, just hearing that hurts because instead of motivating me to try to create something good, I just hate myself for sinking into depression in the first place...ach! Anyway, I'm going to take it a day at a time right now - well, more like hourly increments, to avoid the panic zone.
Hmmmm---wild mood swings, how wild? Can you elaborate a bit?

40 mgs prozac--- A SSRI---have you tried any other antidepressents?

Panic zone---anxiety? Agitation? What do you mean by this, if you feel comfortable talking about it that is?

I am postulating here...

QueensU_girl
06-05-07, 04:40 AM
Prozac (and other SSRI/SNRI) plus stimulants gave me BAD BAD anxiety and tension.

Prozac (fluoxetine Hcl) takes a LONG LONG time to leave the system. (e.g. weeks...)

Considering this: I'm surprised Docs even Rx it still. Prozac can be taken 1x/wk, btw.

It lasts that long, at a therapeutic level!

(Hence the 80 mg 'Prozac Weekly'. It's just regular Prozac, btw.)
http://www.prozac.com/how_prozac/once_a_week.jsp?reqNavId=2.4.1)

So... You can see how it is a pain to get it out of your system if you have a bad reaction.

---------

If your Doctor got you off Prozac (would take a few weeks), I wonder if your anxiety (just on the Concerta) would improve?

replystreet
06-29-07, 10:31 PM
Talking to a doctor and getting something to help is probably appropiate. That way you can start feeling better

mochakk
07-05-07, 10:02 PM
Hi-

I've been off the boards a while, but checked in tonight and saw more responses to my original post - thanks for your feedback. I didn't realize that Prozac plus a stimulant could lead to more anxiety, though logically of course that makes sense. I think because I've had so many problems with fatigue, that's why the dr. chose the combo. Maybe it's time to try something different...A different antidepressant?

The great news is since I last posted I've found a new job that's a vastly better fit for my personality and skills - I've got a writing job now and have infinitely more flexibility with my schedule and work. That alone is helping my mood a lot. This week I've plummeted though and was in tears most of my therapy session. I'm realizing that understanding intellectually how emotions "work" is so different from really knowing what I'm feeling and how my perceptions are distorted. I do look for things to be grateful for, and there are many in life. It's just when my mood is low, it's as one of the posts said, I really just do have to force myself up and about and not let inertia take over. That's easier on the weekdays when I need to be at work. On weekends, if I can get myself out to the gym or exercise outdoors, that helps a lot too. Fortunately, since I've found this new work, my outlook is much better and I have hope that other areas of my life will improve too.