Hi Everyone!

My name is Lori and I recently found this site. I have a son who is ADHD and is driving me CRAZY! He is 12 and will be 13 in July. He is really going through that teenage attitude stuff right now. He is currently on adderal and will be trying strattara as soon as we can get in to see his doctor.....there isn't a time opening for 2 weeks! I just don't know what to do in the meantime. It seems as when he makes inappropriate choices and has to reap the consequences, he takes it out on me, his step-dad and his teachers at school. He was really something at his psychologists office tonight. He was very rude and angry. The psychologist told us to hang in there for awhile. When we got home, he wouldn't leave me alone. I told him to go to his room. He looked straight at me and said "No!" I went into the computer room for some peace and quiet and he sat right next to me thumping on things around me. I went to my room and he followed me in there. I get SO angry because he is being so defiant with me. I'm seriously looking into military school if it doesn't get better in the next 6 months. I've tried to be a good mother all these years and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? I'm exhausted.

It sound like he's very angry and hurt. Has anything changed in his life recently? Is anybody bothering him at school? Middle school can be a really tought place. At that age something that seem insignificant to us as adult can be horrible to children at that age.

It's very hard for people with AD/HD to express thier true emtions. Add being a 12 year old boy and it make it even harder.

Has the psychologist given you any suggestions?

Thanks for the reply, Tara!
Yes, there is some change happening soon. We are moving to Ireland in July for a 2 year stint. He is very apprehensive about leaving his friends. This could be adding to his anger. His grades are really falling. He is very intelligent but has never worked to his potential. He seems to be very "girl crazy" right now too. The psychologist feels that we definitely need to up his medication. I got an okay from his doctor yesterday.
When he gets punished for his bad choices, it really makes him angry, then he keeps digging himself in further.
The psychologist has talked with him about taking responsibility for his actions and taking charge of his ADHD. I think he's still in denial that he has a problem...it's everyone else's fault!
Thanks for listening and trying to help me.

Lori

It appears that those if us with AD/HD don't "work to our potential". My parents said that about me so many times and I'm sure that honeslty thought that. Many of us with AD/HD are intelligent which makes is even more frustrating to us that we have troulbe doing things that most other with even less intelligence than we have can do.

Is he in 7th grade right now? I remember 7th grade being the worst year of my life. As somebody who has worked in the public schools I would say that 7th graders are probably the most challenging students to work with. The are going to so many changes.


I am not a parent myself so my thoughts are not coming from the point of view of a parent. I'm sure other parents will read this thread and offer some thoguhts too.


I do want to suggest a couple of books that were required reading for my child psychology and adolescent psychology classes a couple of years ago. I aslo had several mothers in both classes who thought both books were great.


Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=406)

and

Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated by Anthony E. Wolf (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=421)

i think he may have odd because i know a few (and i also have it) that dont listen heres a piece to see if your son has odd i myself am 13....http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=217 i myself have odd/ocd/adhd/bipolar/deep depression so i hope to meet with you again.

Yes, I am positive that my son has ADHD as well as odd. What a combination! He has really been on a negative roll here lately. We changed him from adderol 20 mg to strattera a couple of days ago.He's started on 40mg and will be able to increase the dosage to 80mg on Monday. I'm really hoping that this can help. He's driving us crazy as well as the teachers at school.
I'm thinking about sending him to a behavioral therapy camp if he doesn't get better by the end of June. I just don't know how much more I can take.

LVO, my daughter is 12...almost 13...just dx'd with ADD/ADHD possibily....i find out more tomorrow. the big meeting with the school teachers....instead of trying military school...i have something else you might want to give a try first.....its called the Civil Air Patrol. they are located at your local air ports. or search cap and it will bring up their site for you to get more info...its a military setting that meets once a week. my daughter has really grown with this. she thrives on it. they do outings, camping etc. just be upfront with the capt you speak to directly that you son is ADHD....if my daughter speaks there without permission...its 25 push ups...she gets treated just like the rest. but i notice its small groups....such as 5 adults to 15 kids....so 3 kids each to work with ....i sense ADD/ADHD tend to work and learn better in smaller groups that they feel more a part of.....check it out...its free to check out.....lotsa luck

GigglyBabeB

Hi LVO, Just read about your frustration and I can totally relate! We tried a boot camp program for our 12yr old son over the summer and he came back like a "programmed machine". He was well behaved and very polite for about two weeks but it was not a "good thing" because he was not at all like the boy we sent to NC. After about a week and a half, he started getting calls from some of the old "friends" and within two weeks was acting the same, if not worse, than before we had sent him. Save your money!! I am still paying off the loan that I had to take to send him to this program and I would never do it again.

Good Luck!

I don't know if it helps any but when my son get's like this it usually means he needs my attention the most. Something is eating at him and he's at an age were boy's shouldn't need their mommy so society states. I have found telling him if he needs to talk he will get better results by coming to me and asking for my time. It's frustrating I know but keep the faith.