Is it normal for an adult to want to run away from home? lol I know this makes me sound like a horrible mother and wife; but, I can't take it anymore.
Three weeks ago I gave birth to a beautiful little boy by c-section which did not go exactly as planned and was informed by my doctor that I was NOT to do anything more than take care of the baby. But, the day after I had the baby my sister in law also gave birth so while my entire family was waiting for the birth they camped out in my room and let me tell you I was tired. My children were running all over so I had to chase them because my husband was too busy holding the baby which I understand a father has to bond with his child also. Then I came home and found the house that I had spent a month scrubbing from top to bottom totaled (I'm talking a path from the couch to the frig to the toilet).
Well, I started cleaning house as soon as I got home because my husband said it didn't matter. Well, it seems he forgot that his entire family would be coming to our house for Christmas this year. Well, my problem is things have not changed I get two hours sleep at a time and cannot take my pain meds because i'm afraid i will not be able to wake up for the baby. And the minute I clean a room they mess it behind me. lol Guess I'm just venting sorry

Don't be sorry, what better place to vent than the forums?Me thinks kids and hubby are going through a lazy selfish phase and it's not fair on you. You are too good a person to put up with that nonsense.Hugs Cherity you da bomb babe!

Yes.

I have wanted to run away from home.

Your story beats mine.

But when I was a new father, I gagged and I changed diapers, i took shifts "having the responsibility" to wake when the baby did and bring (him | her) to my wife in bed so she didn't have to get up to nurse...

I'd encourage someone to inform Dadio tht his "small" contribution to getting kids started is balanced by a LARGER contribution after they get out of Mom!

You might have to lossen your grip on a path, or increase his understanding of its important to you.

that last is always a problem, one way or the other, in a mariage I think, so good luck. take it easy.

Don't burn yourself out. That is up to you. Do, do less. let others pick up the slack. Keep yourself sane, be sure your basic needs get met. Just dont' confuse that wiht having everything the way it is when you are doing everything. when others do things... it is NEVER the same.

good luck, and check out the ladies section too...

I want to run away from home too!!!!!

It's okay to feel that way sometimes...

New mom, I feel so sorry for you! Your husband is so inconsiderate. How could he have not seen you cleaning the house from top to bottom before the birth trying to prepare for your newborn. It makes me mad just reading your posting.
I went through the "nesting" as well prior to the birth of my daughter. I just could not have imagioned what I would have done if I had come home from the hospital to a big mess like that especially with my hormones out of wack and boardlining Post Partum depression. I just might have killed him- and that is not a figure of speech. It did matter he said. Maybe the H_ _ _ it didn't matter to him but it sure did to you, if it hadn't matter you would not have cleaned you a_ _ off for a month prior to the birth. I hope to God he had gotten better. And only two hours of sleep. I would be pumping milk and letting him get up a couple of times during the night with the baby. I'm sorry your husband has really upset me. It just goes to show how everything seems to fall back on the mom. (and they expect us to work outside the home as well). Well, I'm tired of it myself. I just may run away too. My husband has his jerky moments too. I love my child and I would never leave her but I'll tell you my husband is another story.

I honestly don't know what to say lol didn't actually expect anyone to answer this one. But, thank you, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way at times and I was starting to think I was just being a b**ch. So thanks

We can all relate futs...I have wanted to run away cause I feel like a failure to my mom. the last two times i tried to work it only lasted a week cause people could see something was wrong with me...now I am really scared to death to get back out there and try to work again. and I am used to this life style now...I am not lazy...I am just scared and I am ashamed of being scared. I think my mom would be better off without my uselessness....and it's hurting me alot! You are not alone hun...we all feel like that sometimes.

I don't trust people that is what scares me so much, the ex really messed up something awful.

Not to mention the thing that scares me the most is I am afraid of failure.

Melanie,

What you are going thru right now is normal; All abuse victims find themselves here. It's a form of PTSD. It's like you start life with this big beautiful ball of light in your chest and slowly an abuser starts to extinguish it till there is nothing left of YOU. But, Mel you got out so that means there is still that little light it just happens to be weak right now. Search it out, protect it, nurture it. This is an analagy I have found to work for me when I am uncomfortable around others,,,I find my light and remember who I am and that I am OK.

Start small,,,I have found that volunteering at an abuse shelter not only benifits me but also those around me,,,they learn from my lessons and I remember so that I don't repeat the process. And a bonus these women will understand when you get anxious and afraid. Perhaps this one small task will help you get your confidance back.

But, first and foremost Mel remember NOBODY is worthless,,,We all have skills,,,I challenge you to find yours.

Much love, Cherity

I accept challenge...the one thing society has not taken from me is MY nack for writing poetry and my virtues...that is all I have left of me actually.

Melanie, Please go to the new post for you in the woman's forum there you will find your first challenge. Hugs and much love Cherity

I have definitely been there, futs.
At times I get so depressed, I just cry out of the blue for 3-4 days, or longer.
Btw.. Cherity is a beautiful name.

lol Cherity is only proof positive that my parent's did not want me to succeed in life. No really I could tell you some of the pick up lines my name has gotten me into. But, yeah I'm doing better now that my doc has decided it was post partom depression and given me meds. But, there are still day's were I just cry for no reason at all.

Originally posted by Nucking_Futs
lol Cherity is only proof positive that my parent's did not want me to succeed in life. No really I could tell you some of the pick up lines my name has gotten me into. But, yeah I'm doing better now that my doc has decided it was post partom depression and given me meds. But, there are still day's were I just cry for no reason at all.

:(

We're always here for you, Cherity.

And I highly doubt your parents chose the name because they didn't want you to succeed in life. Speaking as someone who puts a lot of time into chArity work, I think that charity is one of the most noble of virtues...

And I believe you on the pickup lines, but that's not your fault. That's just us guys. We all lose IQ points drastically when confronted by a pretty woman. :D

lol Don't worry WC it is just a running joke in my family as I'm the only one with a funky name; but, my mother tells me it was that or DOROTHY JANE *grimaces*. So, I'll take my name funky pick up lines and all :). When I chose my kid's names I made sure no one could pick on them. I should have asked a kid for now instead of a Dakota, Alexis and Garrett. I have Duuuuuhhhhhhhkoda, AAUUUGGGHHHRRRRRrexi and Ferrett,,,sheesh it took us nine months to choose those names. lmbo

Oh can I relate! I have teens and do you realize how many times I've walked in from work and just wanted to walk out again? I have found myself going to the convience store not to really buy anything but to relax before I head home to the chaos. I clean every night and ask the kids to clean but lets face it ADDers don't exactly clean the best. And to make it worse is the churping from my kids "Mom, what's for dinner" "I'm starving!" "Chris hit me!" "Jenna took the dessert!" on and on. I want ear plugs :D

But Hon, it would be the whole tired thing that all new mothers get, Did you feel this way with your other children?

NO doc said I have post pardom and I am on meds and feeling much better.

So futs? The medication works? What are you taking? I am still having crying spells that just come from nowhere.

Yes and no I still cry for no reason at all. Today I lost my driver's license and just walked around the house sobbing till I got sick. But, most my day's are brighter yes. And hopefully since they have upped the dosage I will be all right.

And I am so sorry to hear that you know you can talk to me right? That's what friends are for BNB's poem wasn't entirely just for her it's how I feel for all my friends.

Yesterday I didn't get everything done on Doug's list so this morning I had found that he disconnected the keyboard from the computer. Please, take into account that nobody could have accomplished everything he expected me to do in one day and I even had help from my mother and sister. It bothers me that he reverts so often to the let's fix this. WTF fix what? That he expects me to be two places at once? I"m not kidding I told him my doc's appt. was at 2:00pm so he sets the taxes up for 2:15pm. Were we doctor and were we get are taxes done are in two different towns about 60 minutes apart. Anyways there will be a huge fight tonight; because, I REFUSE to be treated as a child and had my son hook the keyboard back up to the computer and I will NOT do today what he could easily do himself. It's called maternity leave for a reason or else they would call it run all over town so your lazy husband can sit on his ***.

I cry for no apparent reason.... it just hits me.
My husband, my son's stepfather & I are nothing alike. He is a cruel person.. always saying the meaness things.
I'm glad your medication is working for you. And yes.... I know you are here.. if I need to talk. Thanks!

apcp sounds like a chapter out of my book. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know

Futs, your husband has NO RIGHT to treat you the way he is. I am so glad to see you sticking up for yourself... :mad: :mad: :mad: You are an adult, and the fact that you have ADD does NOT give him the right to act like your parent. I wouldn't put up with this for one second if I were you.

If he disconnects your keyboard again... wait until he is asleep, then bury every single pair of pants he owns out in a snowbank and don't tell him where they are until he apologizes to you. Then make him go out and get them himself. :mad:

lol there you go making me laugh again. Actually I did far worse,,,I spent the money for the pills $210.56; but, I just can't swallow them I can't. I've been on these meds before they leave me hollow. He can leave if he wants I just honestly wish he would go. He knows i'm not going to leave there is no way I could support my kids alone and he knows it, so I won't make the decision for myself and just go. But, I told him tonight that since neither of us could afford to be alone right now, I'll sleep on the couch until he knows for sure what is going to make him happy.

:(

No sad faces CW I have faced much worse then this with far less to defend myself with. I have worked too hard to get were I am today to let him take it from me. Right now all I feel is anger and a strange kind of relief. so NO sad faces.

Strength, hope, and good karma to you then. God knows you deserve them.

Thanks WC your the best!

I feel compelled to give everyone an update. Doug has been going thru anger management classes and has been doing excellant. Turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks after all. Yes we still fight but he is no longer verbally abusive toward's me and instead of cussing or calling me names he will hummmm in place of those word's. I know what he wants to say but it's just so darn funny we both usually end up laughing and are able to discuss the issue in a calmer matter.

One thing both of us have agreed on finally is that there is NEVER a winner in a disagreement. There is alway's a meeting place were both ppl can walk away feeling like they succeeded in a goal sometimes it's harder to find but I find myself actually looking forward to him coming home from work and he is smiling more when he walk's in the door. Hard to smile when you can feel tension the minute you walk in the door, hard to not be tense when you are getting yelled at every second of every day.

Wow...sounds SO MUCH like my house sometimes. Tension so thick you could lay mortar & bricks on it.

Yes we still have day's like that but they are getting fewer and fewer. And Doug has learned to be kinder to himself allowing for a little failure. He was just so hard on himself and hated not having control of certain aspect's of his life. I think it came down to the fact we were so close to separation and neither of us could or wanted to imagine life without the other. So, we worked extra hard and luckily it seem's to be working.

I'm happy that you see progress, Futs. Hugs.

I am so glad to hear that Cherity.
Love ya

Vickie

Great to hear Cherity!!!

Futs,

I know probably the same as everyone else here does the kind of mess relationships for us can be. I also know from your posts and talking with you here what you've been going through. Your frustrations go beyond what most folks would be able to bear and worries and issues would just keep getting piled on. You never quite broke though did you. Where people can ever get the stones to call us Lazy or unmotivated I don't know, but you are living proof of what lie that is. I for one am proud of you Futs! I hope things continue to get better for you and Doug. You've earned it. Sounds to me like that communication you talked about worked both ways after all. You're good people Futs, you and Doug both. Anyone says different, I'll give 'em a wedgie and send 'em up the flag pole for ya! ;-)

lol Well I'm certain we will still have trouble in the future but we both agree on one thing...LIFE is GREAT!!!!!!!!!! and we intend to keep it that way as much as possible.