I was just wondering.. over the past while, I have had some extra "thinking" time on my hands.
I was wondering how common eating disorders, or body dismorphic disorders are?

As an ADD'er I have extreme expectations for myself. Many of which I can never amount to. I understand that it is a common trait for ADD'ers. We all want to be better, to believe and display how special we feel we are.. how capable we can be. That we are NOT ordinary.

As a woman, I am also sensitive to media hype. I dont have any eating disorders (perhaps very tiny) .. but, in an attempt to be perfect.. I have to wonder about how I am being affected by this pursuit of perfection.

All women know the pressures that I am talking about. To be young, beautiful, sex goddess, confident, intelligent, have a career, balance a family and life, etc etc...

I did some minor research and have to wonder about BDD. Body Dismorphic disorder. I do believe that this may affect me and my life alot more then I had initially realized.

I cant help but wonder... as an ADD'er our constant strives to be better, smarter, independent, and successful... tends to lead us "vulnerables" to tighten the reigns on our insecurities. To keep them in check, in attempt at control.

My strive for perfection.. when not reflected in the things I have accomplished (or lack thereof) reinvents itself instead in the enormous list of flaws or defects I obsess over about myself and how I look. Maybe I am subconsciously beating myself up over those things I cant accomplish. By using my looks, and my body.. as a some form of punishment.

Am I striving for perfection in the one area in which I feel I actually have control over? Myself? Instead of focusing on the unpredictable unknowns in life. Without the ability to understand what I cant control about my life.. I focus instead on the things I can understand that I believe are under my control.. such as.. my body.

My visual representation of self to the world. My shell. My first impression.

True BDD is a really frikkin serious diagnosis.

IIRC, in BDD people are usually fixated on their faces.
e.g. constantly seeking to surgically alter their faces. They often wind up with getting REAL DEFORMITIES and health problems due to over-operating on their bodies. (e.g. adhesions, scar tissue, breast encapsulation, implant (facial) extrusions/rejections, tissue necrosis, eyes and facial muscles do not move properly, after too many surgical procedures, 'Botox Brow', etc.

Think:

Michael Jackson's face



the mega-rich Cat Lady of Manhattan (Jocelyn Wildenstein)http://website.lineone.net/~a1/jocelyne//



the Barbie Doll surgery Lady (profiled on Extra, or ET, i think.)
My SO has had a couple of Pts with BDD.

It is a seriously life disrupting disorder.
Many cannot even leave the house w/o wearing masks
Some refuse to go to school/work due to thinking they are cripplingly ugly, etc.
Etiology:

Usually there is a trauma or loss history and a lot of self-hatred.
Symbolically the people cannot "stand to look at themselves in the mirror", idea.
Control issues, too. (Earlier loss of control in life means person is seeking to regain control. Similar to some ED themes.)


Some people think it is a perceptual disorder, too. In some cases, the person really does see an ugly person staring back at them in the mirror.
For me, i have always thought this stuff is so sad.

When women are pre-occupied with being as small as they can be (anorexia) or as pretty as they can be (fixated on looks/'ugliness'), they are not using their energy to empower themselves (and other female causes, like stopping violence against women/children; legal bias & injustices) in the world.
Ideology about attractiveness means we are constantly second guessing ourselves and not looking at the bigger pictures in our lives and the world.
It's pretty crummy how the media diverts women's power and energy to reduce them down to objects. (e.g. 'good hair', adequate curves & chest size, no fat or lumps)
There are so many more important things in the world than being a Size 0 or Size 6, or having a perfect NOSE.
I'd take a brain and fiery determination over looks anyday! </BLUESTOCKING off mode>