yes, it is a paradox... until you look at the diagnosis criteria...

I love meeting people, always have. I love organizing events and activities.

The social anxiety part is because if I don't know people, or am meeting a whole group of people at once - and I don't know what they think of me - then I freak out.

I worry what people think of me, if they think I'm a horrible, rude, insensitive, stupid, annoying or whatever else kind of person.

Once I know someone and trust them, and know that even if I am being immature, stupid, annoying, *****y, or whatever else, that they still like me... all is OK.

But there was a time where I couldn't go outside to train for triathlon b/c I was afraid of what people would think of me when they saw me.
I was afraid of test situations. I freeze up.

I'm on meds for it now, and it has made a difference... it feels like I don't second guess myself as much, and I feel I'm not "in prison" like I was before.

Anyone else who can relate to this?

whoa that sums me up also

I'm probably going to have my guts ripped out for saying this, but I thought that sort of thing was usual for women? It seems every woman I met is worried about what other people think of them.

In some ways. In school, I was paralyzed with shyness and not wanting anyone to notice me... but at the same time, I was completely immune to peer pressure because I had no desire whatsoever to be like the mass of people I was stuck among, and prided myself on not being like them, shallow and judgmental and mean and trivial.

My husband is actually way more worried what people think of him than I am, now. I get exasperated sometimes with his anxiety about it, when he comes home and plays back a conversation he had at work, and then goes through all the ways he now thinks his words could have been taken wrong.. yeesh. ENough, already.

But, yeah, it could be that some of the stuff we feel is normal human stuff, not so much ADHD stuff, but how would we know?

I'm probably going to have my guts ripped out for saying this, but I thought that sort of thing was usual for women? It seems every woman I met is worried about what other people think of them.


That's the stereotype, but I think the reality is that men tend to worry what other people think just as much or more. Who has the bigger car, job, house, toys (boat, computer, motorcycle, etc.), who has the better date or more girlfriends or prettier wife and whether or not they are perceived as "manly" enough... all that testosterone driven jockeying for position. It must be very stressful. Women can always fall back on passivity - not a healthy crutch, but a crutch never-the-less. I'm not proud of it, but I've used the "helpless woman" card before. Sometimes it was the only one in my deck!

Hello slowpoke,

I have a similar experience, what kind of medications are you taking now, could you describe the effects?

that sums me up to.
its worse now that ive been depressed and gained weight..

I'm exactly the same way. I have a strong desire to be with people, talk with people, and connect with people but, of course I have trouble in the Social Anxiety area.

I usually do really well with people, one on one. But, groups are more trouble. I've adapted to this throughout the years to some extent. My main problem though, is the classic SAD symptom of thinking people are talking about me or looking at me, etc. As well as the fear of embarassment and rejection. If I could shake these 'simple' problems I'd have it made! :-D Frankly, I'm envious of people who don't care what others think(within reason) and are simply themselves.

Last night I was at a wedding of my best friend's brother. I knew a decent amount of people and talked to some quite a bit but, I usually find I can't make small talk for anything. So many conversations started and ended with hello, how are you. heheh I suck at that sort of thing.

D