Maybe I'm looking for a link, maybe there isn't one, maybe its just the ritalin causing me depression, or just stress.


A little history here. In 2000 I was sexually assaulted (read Raped) by someone that I was very close to. At the same time, i was being stalked by another man, had just moved to a new city, started a new job and my life was pure chaos.
I was consequently fired from my job, and successfully won a wrongful dismissal suit against them, however that is neither here nor there important about this post.
The perpetrator was arrested and did serve time for his crime.

Several years later, i was diagnosed with PTSD.

Fast Foreward to 2005.

In 2005 after having avoided both these perpetrators successfully, i found myself in a vulnerable situation. Though I wasn't sexually assaulted again, I had a man that would come into my place of work and behave inappropriately and made me feel violated. He wouldn't leave the store when I asked him to, he came in several times and then there was a lapse, and he didn't come in for about 6 months. In late 2006 he started coming back, and finally after several encounters, the police successfully arrested him. There is a court case regarding his offenses against me on June 21.

Fastforward again to today...

One month ago I started taking generic ritalin.

Ever since, i've had this nagging sense of something I haven't dealt with (I even had a little tiny cry about it the other day, though i chalked it up to pms).

It could be a medication side effect, the ritalin causing depression, it could be that i'm not in a massive fog anymore, and I'm seeing what remained undealt with, kinda like pulling up the rug you put down to avoid washing the floor.

It could be that this recent event is effecting me more then i'd like to admit.

Regardless, I'm going to talk to my Dr, and a therapist, however I'd like to hear anyones advice,experiences or feedback.

Thanks.

Gadget

Gadget, Ritalin can worsen anxiety/panic, but is also used in treatment resistant depression. I take ritalin and find my depression is much improved on it. Are you taking an anti-depressant now? With the court case coming up, I am betting that this is a major stessor and is highly likely to be triggering your PTSD. I wouldn't blame the Ritalin right away-I have PTSD-and take ritalin and an anti-depressant, but when triggers come out of the blue or if I am ill, I tend to become quite anxious and feel depressed. One other bit of note: Some people, not all, experience what used to be called prozac poop out-that is the anti-depressant stops working as well. There are lots of variables here, and talking with your doc or therapist is the best place to start.

Remember, this is not medical advice, it is my experience and information I have learned through the years. Only your medical professional can give you medical advice-and knows your situation.

Don't give up on Ritalin, a lot is going on in your life right now. Getting past this court case is going to help you a lot. My best to you and sincere sympathy for these events in your life. You must be a very strong person to come through them. Thanks for all the input on the forum. Let us know how things turn out for you.

Hugs, ME_VI

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...So the Court Case against the Creepy Stalker Dude you mention -- is in less than two weeks AWAY. (June 21)
If you have to testify/go to court, you have to be Re-exposed to him in a room together (courtroom) which is a confrontational situation
I do not understand how your Anxiety could NOT be increasing, quite frankly.




I am not surprised that your anxiety is triggered and worsening!!!



In fact, I would entirely expect it.

That is normative ('normal') for PTSD (and its related disorders).

NB Ritalin/stimulants CAN augment Anxiety. Sooooooo. You might want to talk to your Doc about stopping them until this Court stuff is over.

I'm not taking any anti depressants, and I honestly wasn't depressed prior to starting the ritalin. I don't think that anti-depressants are the answer imo in this situation, on further reflection, I also have been working significantly less then usual, maybe its just the let down from the chaos I'm used to? Either way, I'll talk to my dr about it.

Thanks for the hugs.

Gadget.

Nope. Your HPA Axis is freaking out, that's what is happening. (e.g. stress chemicals)

I know of a few treatment places, but I don't know where you Approximately are. eg ontario?

PM me if you like.

QueensU_girl,

I don't even know if I have to testify. I know that i can be questioned about my victim impact statement if the proscecution chooses to, however that would likely be at sentancing if it was to happen, and who knows how far off sentancing would be after the case IF he is convicted, and honestly I don't forsee him going to jail for any duration of time, heck the guy that s/a'ed me was sentanced to 6 months prison time, 18 months probation and was out after 4 months because the canadian justice system, they only have to serve 2/3 of their sentance. Apparently I was supposed to be happy because that was actually a good sentance.

I figure they'll put this guy on probation and continue to "red zone" him from the downtown core, and he'll continue to have his order of no contact with me or any other woman not expressing interest in communication with him.

Maybe I should just go to bed for the next 2 weeks, can someone wake me when its over? ;)

I've been subpoenaed. I JUST RECIEVED IT!
I'm freaking out.
Its tomorrow.
I have no one to go with me.

Lisa

If you call the nearest Sexual Assault crisis centre, they can likely help you with getting a support person to go with you.

Most Crisis Lines are open 24/7.

Remember: these offenders often have a substantial history of sexual offences. You are not alone, ok?

Some sex offenders have up to 200+ victims in their 'careers'.

However, due to the Accused's "rights" to having a non-prejudicial trial, the history of his past offences will not come out until sentencing.

Sexual assault conviction rates are low. But there are things the Crown can do to help the case:
EG
Encourage the Crown to phone up his exes, his friends and any other vulnerable females he has had any contact with...and ask about his conduct with these victims. Offenders tend to choose the same types of victims again and again.

At my step-father's sexual assault & assault with a weapon hearing, they did not do this. Turns out the creep had also assaulted his previous step-daughters, and he had been violent with his step-son.

*rolls eyes*

I'm just so boiling mad, They gave me literally only 16 hours notice. This is so unfair.

I have to leave NOW.

Think of me.

Lisa

I nearly had a melt down. It was a very triggering experience, but I survived.
It wasn't so much of being there with him, as it was the impending testifying, and the memories of my past trial.

He plead guilty. I didn't have to testify.

Crown council told me that because I actually showed up his lawyer told him to plead because he didn't have a leg to stand on otherwise.

Sentanced to 6 months in the community (which means probation) And is under strict psychiatric care. I feel like this is an injustice to the community, however thats the way the justice system goes.

he still has a no contact order in standing against me.

Thank god thats over.

you mention your past trial.

it is common for offenders to attack victims who have been previously victimized.

rates of revictimization are VERY high. (About 300%-400%.) Many women assaulted as adults or teens were assaulted as pre-adults, too.

Cops and Courts don't seem to know that. (Or try to turn it into: "so, you say this happened to before, too, huh?")

The research seems to show that it is not 'masochism' or 'making things up' (as defense lawyers would like to convince jurors), but RATHER that previously victimize people are VULNERABLE. They likely give off signals (low self esteem; body language) or information suggesting they are previously traumatized, or have impairments.

The predator is going after wounded prey, etc. E.g. kids of poor single mom's. :S

Some people say "oh, damaged goods, no big deal". Research contradicts this. Adding more cumulative trauma is actually more damaging that the initial trauma.

Attacking someone who is already damaged doesn' t make it "OK": In fact, it makes it more disgusting. </WOMEN'S off MODE studies>

:)


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Man: you would totally not want to see me as Crown Prosecutor!

EG
Is he gonna get


the Peter Meter?
The Sex Offender Rehab (empathy training)?
A "No Booze Order" in his Probation Order?
Name put in the Sex Offender RegTistry
DNA sample taken? (we do it in Ontario)
Psych assessment of his impulse control problems/brain scan?
I mention these b/c:

Alcohol/Drug is often a factor in "the offending cycle".
Empathy training is often also one of the best treatments for all types of abusers/bullies.

Those things would concern me more than 6 months probation or some crappy sentence. Six months is a frikkin Joke.

-------------------

Glad to hear you didn't have to testify.

Have you been able to find some GOOD support services?

I updated in the private forum about his sentance.