View Full Version : Newly diagnosed, still in disbelief


goingnova
06-09-07, 10:38 PM
Hello everyone. I had been diagnosed with ADD several years back, and was completely ignorant on the far reaching implecations it had on my life. Essentially, I thought it made me have poor short term memory, made me forgetful, and made me skip and skim articles when I read. I HAD NO IDEA it affected my moods, made me argumentative, made me impulsive, and all the rest of the things it does.

Well, I am going through a separation/divorce right now, and became clinically depressed. Again, I had no idea what this was or what it meant, until I experienced it. I literally thought I was going crazy. For about a week, I was really bad. My doctor put me on pexeva, wellbutrin, risperdal, and zanex for the anxiety. I appeared to get better, but then went back to being clinically depressed again. He took me off welbutrin, and started me on lithobid. He also diagnosed me as being ADD AND Bi Polar Depressive. He said he believes I have suffered from mild depression all my life.

Here's the thing... I am not entirely convinced I am Bi Polar. I began to read Healing ADD: The Breakthrough Program That Allows You to See and Heal the 6 Types of ADD by Daniel G. Amen, and one of the types of ADD was ADD with Depression. I wonder if that is not more accurate than Bi Polar Depressive. I will admit, I have cycled, there are times when I am extremely happy, and times when I have been depressed, but under normal circumstances, I had gone weeks, even months, without being depressed. This separation has effected me on many levels, including financially, emotionally, and the fact that I have lost my home and my lifestyle. Without a doubt, it is the major factor in my depression (the medication has only made me better handle the depression, it has not elevatated it). I am certain I have ADD, but I remain sceptical about the Bi Polar. Thoughts on self diagnosis?

Crazy~Feet
06-10-07, 01:12 AM
We are not permitted to give medical advice here at ADDF, we are not qualified to do so. That being said, you might want to look at the following links:

HERE (http://www.psychiatrysource.com/congress-report/Mood-disorders-often-accompanied-by-psychiatric-co.aspx?l1=4)

In one meta-analysis, investigators found that adults with bipolar disorder often have comorbid ADHD, while adults with ADHD are at increased risk of bipolar disorder. Furthermore, adults who have both conditions have more severe disease, and are at a higher risk of suicide attempts and substance addiction than patients without these conditions, according to Dr. Aliza P. Wingo (Atlanta, Georgia, USA)....

HERE (http://www.helpguide.org/mental/bipolar_disorder_symptoms_treatment.htm)

Bipolar Disorder: Learning the Signs, Symptoms and Causes

Galleywench
06-10-07, 01:18 AM
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. The only advice I can give is to suggest that you take notes and go over them with your Doctor. Show him why you feel the way you do and definitely don't let him give you the brush off. Take care of yourself and good luck. :)

goingnova
06-10-07, 11:57 AM
This is really tough for me because of my profession. I am a Police Officer, and we tend to be very private. I have decided to open up because, well, I still have my anonymity.

I question the Bi Polar diagnosis because I have been on the job for 14 years, and not one single time have I had an instance of abusing my authority or hurting a prisnor. Yes, I have gotten angry, you wouldn't be human if you didn't, but I have always controlled myself. Always. Nor have I gotten more angry than any of my coworkers. In fact, I have seen officers get much more angry than me. I have gottn "happy", but never more than just feeling it. I never chased high rish behavior, or anything like that. Sometimes I would just look at the world around me, and say "Wow, what a beautiful day". That's been it. Not sure I would ever call it euphoric. Subsequently, when I got depressed, it was usually for a reason or reasons. My marriage didn't just end on the spot, there were years of problems there, and I have had reason to be depressed. What has gotten my so depressed this time around is the fact that the woman who was supposed to love me inherited money, abandoned me, forced me out of my home, and financially burdened me to the point where I have to live in my brother's basement for a year or two. That is why I am depressed. And I cycle because, well, right now my life sucks, and every once in a while I get caught standing knee deep in it.

I certainly know I have ADD, and as I said, I am not resisting that. I do believe that I am resisting the bi polar, and I don't think I will know for sure until I get over this current depression. I'm 38 years old, and have gotten this far without any medication. I am going to continue taking the medication for now, but at some point I think I would like to come off the risperdal and lithium. Just test my theory.

I joined moodtracker.com, and I have been using that to track my moods. Anyway, this place is a treasure, and you guys and gals are all great. It is so nice to talk to people about these things without having to worry about feeling judged. :D

Galleywench
06-10-07, 02:17 PM
I'm having a h*ll of a time putting my thoughts into text this morning, but I will work on getting a private message to you later.

Wish
06-11-07, 02:21 PM
Going, I recently found out that I have something called childhood onset bipolar disorder with adhd (cobad syndrome). My psychiatrist wrote a book about this after discovering that both he and his two young daughters suffer from cobad syndrome. I don't know you well enough to say whether or not you have cobad or adult adhd and bipolar. I just know that it is possible to suffer from both. I recommend checking out this book about cobad.

http://www.amazon.com/COBAD-Syndrome-Suffering-Inherited-Childhood-Onset/dp/1420867016

Wish
06-11-07, 02:23 PM
Going, I find it interesting that you are a police officer. Many of the people who end up in the criminal justice system have untreated mental illnesses. Have you found that you have some sympathy for people who have not been able to access treatment for mental illnesses?

goingnova
06-11-07, 03:18 PM
Going, I recently found out that I have something called childhood onset bipolar disorder with adhd (cobad syndrome). My psychiatrist wrote a book about this after discovering that both he and his two young daughters suffer from cobad syndrome. I don't know you well enough to say whether or not you have cobad or adult adhd and bipolar. I just know that it is possible to suffer from both. I recommend checking out this book about cobad.

http://www.amazon.com/COBAD-Syndrome-Suffering-Inherited-Childhood-Onset/dp/1420867016Thank you for the link, I will check out the book.

goingnova
06-11-07, 03:24 PM
Going, I find it interesting that you are a police officer. Many of the people who end up in the criminal justice system have untreated mental illnesses. Have you found that you have some sympathy for people who have not been able to access treatment for mental illnesses?I have always felt sympathy for people with mental illness, with or without treatment. However, particularly when it comes to mental illness, there is very little, if any, discretion. If a person behaves a certain way, or is a danger to him/herself or others, they are restrained and taken to a hospital. It's always sad, but when you deal with it for a living, you grow to accept it as part of life.