i need help to change it to boost it up

hmph. me too...

Me too.
Or better yet, I'd like to understand the cause of it. Why do I have low self esteem? Is it the ADHD? Or something else? What causes yours?

Not to take anything away, but we all need help with our self esteem.

One thing I have been trying to do is write out a list of all my accomplishments. That way I can look back at all the proud moments in my life, that halp build me up to who I am.

Yes, there are crappy times in our lives that have an affect, but we can choose to not let them impact us or affect us as much/ at all.

I also have posters of things I really like around.

I also have posters of things I really like around.

Like what? Give us an example!

I don't know how anyone can help anyone else to develop self esteem. I think it's something like self discipline and accomplishment results in self esteem. I might be totally wrong about this because it's my own interpretation of the meaning of self esteem but I think it's got to come from the self. Other people can't validate our own self esteem for us because then it wouldn't be self esteem anymore. It would be other esteem.

The posters I have around are of things like:

The Transformers movie poster. I love the transformers.
I list of accomplishments and goals.
I ran a 10k marathon, I have the sign from it.
A flag of my favourite country.
A poster I made when I was around 12.
Some of my grandfathers art work
A white board & dry erase calendar.
A picture of a frog reaching out from being run over by a car (just the tire is visible) and trying to deflate the tire and it says never give up.

I still have to get more things, I liked having a map of the globe up, as it was a constructive distraction.

Pictures I had printed from the Internet (more transformers and some anime).

I few things that I found around the internet, like the quote about attitude, and some other things I found interesting.

I also had some of my favourite pictures I had taken printed, and I hung them up too.

These are things that are part of who I am, so I can see it on the outside, to help remind me, as we are all so busy with 150,000 thoughts at once, that it allows me to focus on me, as I am my most valuable possesion.

Like what? Give us an example!

:soapbox:

lol

I grew up hearing people around me tell me I was not smart enough and I never amount to anything except for a starving artist. Today I am a part time artist/ photographer I make money at it but I also have a very successful career…I have some of my work published. I think for 30 considering my circumstance I am doing petty good for myself. Of course there is always room for improvement. It is about being a work in progress for yourself not anyone else.


I really did not start to think highly of myself until I was about 25. I started to realize that people with always have opinions and judgments of me no matter what. Slowly I started to make boundaries for myself, I learned how to say no and that it was okay to change my mind. I decided that I would not expect anything form anyone except myself…if I want something I should be the one to get it. I know it seems prideful but one of my downfalls and one of the reasons for my self-esteem trusted others 100% only in the end to be let down and have my spirits crushed.

<O:p

I learned that in the end it is only me…and I and to face my fears…I still have avoidance problems but I am aware of them.

<O:p

I started taking a look at myself everything about me. some of what I saw I did not like I started to change it slowly…I still need improvement but there is always hope. I found things I like about myself…I laugh at dumb stuff. When I have fleeting thoughts about random garbage during the day I sometimes write it down so I can put some crazy store together. Sounds crazy I know but it works for me. Life is to short to dwell on who I should be according to everyone else’s wishes…I would rather spend my time dwelling on becoming the person I want to be…

<O:p

Stop lying to yourself…if something is wrong tell yourself the truth as hard as it is the more we avoid the truth of the issue the worse off we are and the hard it is to over come it…EVEN if you never fix the problem as least you can honestly say that you know why you are dealing with an issue…

<O:p

Also I have good friends in my life people with negative attitude will push you down emotionally…

<O:p

Hope this help a bit…

Eden, you give good counsel.

I have very low self-esteem, and I feel like I've always been that way. Once I started school it became obvious to me that I was different from everyone else. Then as life went on, it seemed that everything that happened around me supported my belief that I was defective and inferior. Even as an adult, then as a wife and mother - I find that I am unable to be the person I want to be, or do the things that I believe a good person would do. I've spent my life pretending to be normal when I am around others, and doing my best to hide who I really am. In conversation, I reflect back what the other is most likely to expect. In all of this acting I have lost who I am, if I ever even knew. I have faith in very few things - but this belief system, that "I am different, I am defective, I am not as good as everyone else, I do not have value"... it seems to be carved in stone - whether or not it makes sense intellectually.

Perhaps I just do not know how to think a different way. Can this be learned when these beliefs are so much a part of who I am? How would one do that, I wonder? I can tell you that a million therapists telling me "You're OK" has zero effect.

I want to say that the one thing that did have a profound effect on me was finding people on this forum who are like myself in so many ways. I had no idea they existed. People who share my struggles, and yet are obviously good and caring people. THEY have value in my eyes. If I am so much like them, perhaps I can find value in myself as well.

Hang in there cute thing! I have this little thing printed and framed on my office wall and in my house. It isn't much and may be cheezy to some but it always serves as a good inspiration to me every so often. My father gave it to me years ago from a magazine clipping .


Rules of The Game of Life

<DIR><DIR>1. You will receive a body.

You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

2. You will learn lessons.

You are enrolled in a full-time school called Life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons.

Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The ‘failed’ experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately ‘work.’

4. A lesson is repeated until learned.

A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end.

There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons being learned.

6. "There" is no better than "here."

When your ‘there’ has become ‘here,’ you simply obtain another ‘there’ that will again look better than ‘here.’

7. Others are merely mirrors of you.

You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love/hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you.

You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie inside you. Look, listen, and trust yourself!



</DIR></DIR>

>>I have very low self-esteem, and I feel like I've always been that way. Once I started school it became obvious to me that I was different from everyone else. Then as life went on, it seemed that everything that happened around me supported my belief that I was defective and inferior. Even as an adult, then as a wife and mother - I find that I am unable to be the person I want to be, or do the things that I believe a good person would do. I've spent my life pretending to be normal when I am around others, and doing my best to hide who I really am. In conversation, I reflect back what the other is most likely to expect. In all of this acting I have lost who I am, if I ever even knew. I have faith in very few things - but this belief system, that "I am different, I am defective, I am not as good as everyone else, I do not have value"... it seems to be carved in stone - whether or not it makes sense intellectually.

Perhaps I just do not know how to think a different way. Can this be learned when these beliefs are so much a part of who I am? How would one do that, I wonder? I can tell you that a million therapists telling me "You're OK" has zero effect. <<



Busyhermit, you have said exactly what I would love to have said, but didn't know how... I feel like I've spent a lifetime watching how other people are, and "pretending" to be like them, but knowing it wasn't true, and feeling like a fraud.

No wonder therapists saying, "You're OK," have no effect -- we know that they're only saying that, because we've managed to fool them, too!

In my current venture of finding out about myself and ADD I came across a book that has helped me. It has only been 6 weeks but alot of thinks have changed in my mind. The book "Power, Passion & Purpose" helped me out alot. It allows you to decide what you think. It doesn't tell you your normal or abnormal, it doesn't force a belief onto you. It give you information and you can take what you want from it. I will give you and example of what i got. I am a business owner, I have a partner who when he walks in the door, he commands the rooms attention. Not because of his looks, volume or anything. He is confident in his knowledge, spirit and life in general. He doesn't overpower people, he enables people to make there dicisions, doesn't critique, but he empowers you. I know myself, I turned everything everyone said into a shot against me, I am a good guy but I took things to heart, because of my ADD and not being able to complete jobs, organize and so on, i felt like a failure. But I look at myself now, I didn't crack a book in school and yet i was an A-B student, I own two businesses, Husband and father of two wonderful children and I am 27. My life was hindered not by ADD, but the undiagnosis of ADD. I am smart enought to get things done but not to the full extent I would like. I know why now, and i feel MUCH better. Just understanding myself has made the biggest difference in my life.

Just my rambling thoughts, hehe
I also read about everything having energy. You walk into a room, the arrangement of the room, the colors, the furniture and even the negative space has energy. You've all walked into a room and said WOW, you felt at home or how that the heck is wrong here. Same thing with your own body, your thoughts your spirit, your physical being all has energy. You have to learn to capture it, mold it to what you want, not what anyone else wants.

Life, I like the list above about life being a full time class. That is so true, your always learning. Everything you do and don't do effects your life, you mood, your spirit and your physical being. Everyone you see has an effect on you life good or bad. From the person you admire to the person that smiles at you walking down the street. What you choose to show effects there life too. No we can't be in a good mood all the time, we are human, but we are alive what can be better then that? What doesn't kill us only makes us better!

WOW, i even look at that post in amazement, before I would have never been able to talk about anything, now talking about energy, spirts and life. SHEWWWW haha

DANG... What a fabulous thread!!! Some great advice that I've never seen on here.

Busyhermit... You could be me. I think I've read about 3 of your posts tonight, and you sound just like me.

It is a wonderful thing to figure out that I'm not the only person in the world with my issues.

This is AWESOME!!

I love this stuff..

I am printinging and putting it up now!!

Hang in there cute thing! I have this little thing printed and framed on my office wall and in my house. It isn't much and may be cheezy to some but it always serves as a good inspiration to me every so often. My father gave it to me years ago from a magazine clipping .


Rules of The Game of Life

<dir><dir>1. You will receive a body.

You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

2. You will learn lessons.

You are enrolled in a full-time school called Life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons.

Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The ‘failed’ experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately ‘work.’

4. A lesson is repeated until learned.

A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end.

There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons being learned.

6. "There" is no better than "here."

When your ‘there’ has become ‘here,’ you simply obtain another ‘there’ that will again look better than ‘here.’

7. Others are merely mirrors of you.

You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love/hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you.

You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie inside you. Look, listen, and trust yourself!



</dir></dir>

That inspirational list made me cry. I don't even know why. I'm such a mess.
I wish we all loved ourselves like we should, like we deserve to be loved. Maybe if we all love each other enough, we'll all start to see our worthiness. People have to reach out to others, even if it's over the Internet. The world has gotten so...sectioned off. Most of the people I speak to now are online. We're all getting more and more cut off from society. Well I shouldn't speak for all...but a lot of us I would venture to guess. How can we possibly have self confidence and know what to love about ourselves when there's so little actual nurturing human contact? Ok maybe I'm just talking about me...I don't know. But I DO know that I can't reach out to my family or "friends", none of them understand, that's why I go in search of like people on the Internet.
One thing that might help you to like yourself might be to look at yourself from the outside, as if you're not you. What would you like about yourself if you weren't you?

I have the picture of the man who stood up to the tank during the Tiananmen Square protests (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiananmen_Square_protests_of_1989) on 5 June (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/June_5) 1989 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1989). One man against five tanks. It always inspires me.

<DIR><DIR>
9. Your answers lie inside you. Look, listen, and trust yourself!




</DIR></DIR>This is the hard one, and one of the main reasons we (at least I) have so much trouble with self-esteem, I think. Looking and listening is hard when you're inattentive, and trusting yourself is impossible when you have a problem with impulsivity.

I have screwed up so often over the years, through both word and action, in spite of having only the very best of intentions, that I no longer DARE to trust myself. And that makes it pretty hard for me to feel good about me.

I have screwed up so often over the years, through both word and action, in spite of having only the very best of intentions, that I no longer DARE to trust myself.Boy do I hear that. Good intentions are never enough, and it doesn't matter how hard I try. I'm not well enough to appreciate that list at all (no offense PeaB0dy)- maybe someday.

Busy Hermit, No offence taken...

You must do what is right for yourself.

No one can fault you for that.

I know for me it's dealing with the emotion that is the tough part, that is where I betray myself quite often.

I knw there are days I am not well, but I must move forward, I build from a place of calm, and if I am in a place of fear I just stop, as I am not a fearful person.

There are 9 points on the list, even if one helps you, then you are already ahead.


Boy do I hear that. Good intentions are never enough, and it doesn't matter how hard I try. I'm not well enough to appreciate that list at all (no offense PeaB0dy)- maybe someday.

Here is something that I found at the University of Texas, student therapy site, which I found helpful:

Three Steps to Better Self-Esteem

Before you can begin to improve your self-esteem you must first believe that you can change it. Change doesn't necessarily happen quickly or easily, but it can happen. You are not powerless! Once you have accepted, or are at least willing to entertain the possibility that you are not powerless, there are three steps you can take to begin to change your self-esteem:


Step 1: Rebut the Inner Critic
Step 2: Practice Self-Nurturing
Step 3: Get Help from Others
Step 1: Rebut the Inner Critic

The first important step in improving self-esteem is to begin to challenge the negative messages of the critical inner voice. Here are some typical examples of the inner critic's voice and how you can "rebut" that voice.

<TABLE cellSpacing=2 cellPadding=5 width=600 border=1><TBODY><TR><TD width="50%" bgColor=#fff351> The Inner Critic's Voice:

</TD><TD width="50%" bgColor=#9999ff> Your Rebuttals:

</TD></TR><TR><TD width="50%">Is Unfairly Harsh:

"People said they liked my presentation, but it was nowhere near as good as it should have been. I can't believe no-one noticed all the places I messed up. I'm such an impostor."

</TD><TD width="50%">Be Reassuring:

"Wow, they really liked it! Maybe it wasn't perfect, but I worked hard on that presentation and did a good job. I'm proud of myself. This was a great success."

</TD></TR><TR><TD width="50%" bgColor=#ffffcc>Generalizes Unrealistically:

"I got an F on the test. I don't understand anything in this class. I'm such an idiot. Who am I fooling? I shouldn't be taking this class. I'm stupid and I don't belong in college."

</TD><TD width="50%" bgColor=#ccccff>Be Specific:

"I did poorly on this one test, but I've done O.K. on all the homework. There are some things here that I don't understand as well as I thought I did, but I can do the material-I've done fine in other classes that were just as tough.

</TD></TR><TR><TD width="50%">Makes Leaps of Illogic:

"He is frowning. He didn't say anything, but I know it means that he doesn't like me!"

</TD><TD width="50%">Challenge Illogic:

"O.K., he's frowning, but I don't know why. It could have nothing to do with me. Maybe I should ask."

</TD></TR><TR><TD width="50%" bgColor=#ffffcc>Catastrophizes:

"She turned me down for a date! I'm so embarrassed and humiliated. No one likes or cares about me. I'll never find a girlfriend. I'll always be alone."

</TD><TD width="50%" bgColor=#ccccff>Be Objective:

"Ouch! That hurt. Well, she doesn't want to go out with me. That doesn't mean no one does. I know I'm an attractive and nice person. I'll find someone."

</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
Step 2: Practice Self-Nurturing

Rebutting your critical inner voice is an important first step, but it is not enough. Since our self-esteem is in part due to how others have treated us in the past, the second step to more healthy self-esteem is to begin to treat yourself as a worthwhile person.

Start to challenge past negative experiences or messages by nurturing and caring for yourself in ways that show that you are valuable, competent, deserving and lovable. There are several components to self-nurturing:

Practice Basic Self-Care

Get enough sleep, eat in a healthy fashion, get regular exercise, practice good hygiene, and so forth.

Plan Fun & Relaxing Things For Yourself

You could go to a movie, take a nap, get a massage, plant a garden, buy a pet, learn to meditate-whatever you enjoy.

Reward Yourself For Your Accomplishments

You could take the night off to celebrate good grades, spend time with a friend, or compliment yourself for making that hard phone call.

Remind Yourself of Your Strengths & Achievements

One way is to make a list of things you like about yourself. Or keep a 'success' file of awards, certificates and positive letters or citations. Keep momentos of accomplishments you are proud of where you can see them.

Forgive Yourself When You Don't Do All You'd Hoped

Self-nurturing can be surprisingly hard if you are not used to doing it. Don't be critical of yourself-remember that inner voice!-when you don't do it just right.

Self-Nurture Even When You Don't Feel You Deserve It

"Fake it" until you can "make it." When you treat yourself like you deserve to feel good and be nurtured, slowly you'll come to believe it.

Step 3: Get Help from Others

Getting help from others is often the most important step a person can take to improve his or her self-esteem, but it can also be the most difficult. People with low self-esteem often don't ask for help because they feel they don't deserve it. But since low self-esteem is often caused by how other people treated you in the past, you may need the help of other people in the present to challenge the critical messages that come from negative past experiences. Here are some ways to get help from others:

Ask for Support from Friends


Ask friends to tell you what they like about you or think you do well.
Ask someone who cares about you to just listen to you "vent" for a little while without trying to "fix" things.
Ask for a hug.
Ask someone who loves you to remind you that they do.
Get Help from Teachers & Other Helpers


Go to professors or advisors or tutors to ask for help in classes if this is a problem for you. Remember: They are there to help you learn!
If you lack self-confidence in certain areas, take classes or try out new activities to increase your sense of competence (for example, take a math class, join a dance club, take swimming lessons, etc.)
Talk to a Therapist or Counselor

Sometimes low self-esteem can feel so painful or difficult to overcome that the professional help of a therapist or counselor is needed.

Talking to a counselor is a good way to learn more about your self-esteem issues and begin to improve your self-esteem.

Honestly, you get your self-esteem through hard work. I don't think I got mine any other way. It was tough trying to keep going despite all those thoughts I had about myself. But sooner or later, all these dark and depressing thoughts will be too painful to bear. It's when you get to a point that changing will be easier than staying where you are.

What is worth fighting all those self-doubts, negative thoughts, etc.? Consider that you have a purpose, a very special gift to share with the world. Don't know what it is or how it's meant to be shared, but you have in it you to relieve pain and bring some joy to someone. But right now, all this negativity is preventing you from moving forward.

Other people can't validate our own self esteem for us because then it wouldn't be self esteem anymore. It would be other esteem.
HaHaHa! So true solitary bee! I'm struggling to stop my inner condemnation. I berate myself all day long.......habit I guess. Lately, when I catch myself doing it....I turn it around and say something positive about myself to myself. This is new to me, but I can feel my heart rate decrease when I do it.

Honestly, you get your self-esteem through hard work. I don't think I got mine any other way. It was tough trying to keep going despite all those thoughts I had about myself. But sooner or later, all these dark and depressing thoughts will be too painful to bear. It's when you get to a point that changing will be easier than staying where you are.

What is worth fighting all those self-doubts, negative thoughts, etc.? Consider that you have a purpose, a very special gift to share with the world. Don't know what it is or how it's meant to be shared, but you have in it you to relieve pain and bring some joy to someone. But right now, all this negativity is preventing you from moving forward.
Michiko - Can you share more about what motivated you to keep working at it? The only motivation I can find is that I want to feel better - but that by itsself doesn't stand a chance against the negative thoughts (it's easily countered by "I don't deserve to feel better"). Did you have people supporting and encouraging you?

I've read a lot about self-esteem, taken classes, gone to psychologists. One thing I read really sticks in my mind - accept your good qualities. A lot of people focus on their flaws and correcting them, but they overlook their good points, and think they don't matter. Look at the things you do welll, and do them.

I like this quote by Mahatma Gandhi:
"What you do may seem unimportant, but it is very important that yuo do it."

Michiko - Can you share more about what motivated you to keep working at it? The only motivation I can find is that I want to feel better - but that by itsself doesn't stand a chance against the negative thoughts (it's easily countered by "I don't deserve to feel better"). Did you have people supporting and encouraging you?
Hmm.. I can't say I have any real elegant or fancy answer other than I just kept going. Maybe there was some part of me that wanted to know if this 'feeling' I had that something was wrong could be answered. As it turned out I was right, and that what was wrong was that I had undiagnosed ADD.

Support? Encouragement? Mmm.. well, I mean I have my family and friends. But I don't think it was obvious encouragement the way we all think of it. It's not like they gathered around me and said 'go, go, go' or anything like that..

I think if I were to give someone 'advice' about fighting negative thoughts it's what I said before. That you have some purpose, some reason for being here. There is some talent, some wisdom that you are meant to share with others to make the world a better place. But if you don't find out, someone will suffer as a consequence. So even if you don't want to, there is an obligation to something much bigger.

I really don't care for the phrase "self-esteem". Maybe that's just me. I didn't so much have a problem with "self-esteem" until later; my first real issue in my life was feeling out of place, confused, unable to understand what everyone wanted from me. I felt like I had plenty to offer the world, just wasn't able to find a path, a way to offer it. It was a while before I started to tihnk LESS of myself. I first just thought less of the people in the place we had moved to when I started having these issues.

Others can do a lot to bring your self-esteem DOWN, I find, but building it UP is sometihng that others can't really do for you. I have found that doing what I'm scared of is the thing that helps mine the most. And I'm facing a huge hurdle in my life right now, in marriage counseling, just aobut to start the joint meetings, and I'm having to find a way to say the things on my own behalf that my husband has defensively thrown back at me for years; probably not realizing that he was going forthe jugular as he did it. So I'm scared. So... that's my clue. I have to do it. That's the thing I have to do.

I don't know if this connects with you; maybe it's different for all of us. But if you do things you will be proud of yourself for being brave enough to do, I would think that would boost your image of yourself. And do things for other people, even if it's not something that requires bravery.
Also, you might try self-hypnosis. I found it veyr helpful. I tend to replay negative experiences in my mind - and sometimes it's necessary in order to understand them, but after a while, you're wallowing, and your body is generating all the stress hormones associated with bad experiences. Finding tools to head that off is helpful.

I have met people with very high, and completely unwarranted, self-esteem. (My ex-son-in-law, for one!) And the only word I can think of for them is "sociopath". SO lowish self-esteem is NOT the worst thing in the world. It's a SIGNAl. It's your soul telling you there's something you needto fix in yourself. It's a healthy thing. You need to use that feeling as a motivation to change. If you don't like how you are; find something to do differently. Find a thing you admire and try to add it to your SELF.

I started my present career twelve years ago or so, and decided since i was in a new place where no one knew I was shy, I just would PRETEND I wasn't. I stepped into the role of a person who was outgoing, while I was on the clock, because I had a family depending on me to get it together and do this well. I was highly motivated to stuff my fears down and just, do the work. I was really introverted but I just forced myself to step into the role, and gradually the extroversion became part of me. I'm still more inclined to read a book than gab with my coworkers on a break, but I'm not PARALYZED like I used to be in groups, I function just fine and people see me as a real part of the inner circle.

Does any of that apply to you? Can you find a thing you would like to change in yourself, and find some way to make it happen? It really does help you feel better, stronger, more capable.

And hon, look around you. Look around the world. Don't you see many, many people who are nowhere near as worthy as you are? Surey ou do. You're a good person. And darn it, those people out there who are just a doggoned waste of skin don't feel bad aobut themselves at all, they have way too much, completely unwarranted, self-esteem. SO put your soul up alongside others', and get some perspective.

Love to you. And write again and let us know how you're doing.

piglet said, my first real issue in my life was feeling out of place, confused, unable to understand what everyone wanted from me. I felt like I had plenty to offer the world, just wasn't able to find a path, a way to offer it.

I say, ME TOO. i'm sitting here at home, when i could be out working at a job. i have been sitting here for 3 years now. i'm at a crossroads. i don't want to do what i have always done and i'm scared to try all the great advice i've explored. i'm at the point of 'taking that leap of faith into the unknown'. but i'm afraid if i do.. i'll just end up using all the same crap to deal with it and end up right back here. i want a guarantee and there isn't any.

Urhurainme, welcome to the forum, hon.

What do you WANT to do? Don't think about what you know how to do already; I'm asking, what do you want to do?

I didn't know the answer to that for a long, long time, and I felt lost. It was trial and error for me; for some people it's something they know from birth. I stumbled around lost for a long time. I regret time I wasted in avoiding thinking about the issue, "what do you want", because I might have gotten further, sooner, if I'd really examined it. It's a scary question, because sometimes the distance between where you are and where you want to be is vast and you can't imagine how to move forward toward it. It's more comfortable to stay with what you know, even if what you know is, feeling inadequate and lost.

I've tried to change my thinking to give myself positive messages about myself and turn off the negative self-talk. But it's sooooooooo hard to do! I'll work on it for a while and then I tired of focusing on that and move on to something else.

Making personal changes is very hard when you have ADD because you keep losing interest in your resolutions. Hmmmmmm, does more medication help that?

Lord Ain't It The Truth.

Self esteem was one of my long-running problems -- I had a year of psych consultations in the early 90s, dealing mostly with this problem. At that time the book "Women and Self Esteem"* helped me quite a lot.

But really, my struggle to become happier and more effective has progressed for decades, from college to work to a return to school four years ago. This sounds like a drag but it hasn't been -- instead, I've just seen things get better and better since the 70s.

Duckie


* Women and Self-Esteem: Understanding and Improving the Way We Think and Feel About Ourselves (Paperback)
by Linda Tschirhart Sanford (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-url/102-4240286-10****7?%5Fencoding=UTF8&search-type=ss&index=books&field-author=Linda%20Tschirhart%20Sanford) and Mary Ellen Donovan (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-url/102-4240286-10****7?%5Fencoding=UTF8&search-type=ss&index=books&field-author=Mary%20Ellen%20Donovan)