I'm trying to read everything to find out if there is help for me, but I can't read it all without skipping over stuff.

If some one has some advise please tell me.

I can't find a doctor to help me. All I want to do is function in society (even half way would be better than where I'm at)

I seen my doctor yesterday and told him I have a sleep disorder (I can only sleep in the daytime due to PTSD).

I took Wellbutrin for 8 years and it isn't helping me anymore so I quit taking it. I tried Prozac with Adderall 6 months ago and had some type of psychotic reaction and can't take the two together. I ended up taking a leave of absence from work to deal with what ever happened with that reaction

I need an anti depressant to deal with stress.

I need a stimulant to be able to get to work and so I don't make tons of mistakes.

I need valium for the anxiety and nightmares.

I need Ambien to help me sleep at night.

I need Darvocet for migraines.

If I didn't have to work I could eliminate most of these medications

I'm sick of all this medicine, and I still don't function very well. I asked my doc for Strattera along with Adderall so I can stay awake in the day time and he said no, and won't even listen to what problems I have. I said what anti depressant can I take that wont make me sleep 15 hours like Prozac did and he gave me a prescription of Celexa. I'm scared to take Celexa along with Adderall because of what happened when I took Prozac.
If I don't take an anti depressant real soon I will be in the hospital for intrusive thoughts. If I take the anti-depressant and it makes me more tired than I already am, I will lose my job.

Doctors don't know what to do with me because of all my issues so they just write a prescription and send me on my way. They won't listen to me when I offer suggestions of things that might help me. I'm so disgusted right now and feel severely depressed.

0-8 dysfunctional family

Age 9 my mother committed suicide (Hung herself while in jail)

Age 13 my biological brother tried to kill me because he has schizophrenia

Age 15 raped and beaten real bad in the middle of the night by a stranger

Age 15 one of my stepbrothers was murdered (stabbed to death) by his cousin

Age 16 my sister's best friend OD on some drug and died

Age 20 my stepsister's boyfriend shot himself in the head

Age 22 my abusive husband raped and beat me

Age 25 my sister died of a heart attack

Age 26 car accident and fractured my skull and almost died (in coma for a couple of days) Now I have major health problems and migraines.

Age 28 my father was brutally murdered and tortured by my stepbrother and I found the bloody/mangled body and had to testify in court. (two years of my life taken)

Age 33 my abusive ex husband died of AIDS (I don't have it) Haven’t told my son the truth about is dad. But I'm sure some one will have a good time spitting that garbage out at him.

Age 40 can't take it any more........... Doctors don't care...........

Can't afford therapy and barely can afford my meds and doctor visits which seem to be worthless because I'm barely functioning and about ready to lose my job.

Anyone? Please?

Tammy, I feel for you so much. This is tough stuff.
Sounds like you need a top-notch psychiatrist for the ADD and PTSD/Depression. A neurologist for your migraines, and thorough physical exam with all blood work.

Sometimes taking that many meds can cause side effectsand/or interactions that make you feel worse. Your pharmacist can help you go over your meds and is skilled in recognizing side-effects from each med. I have PTSD-remission, anxiety-made horribly bad by the wellbutrin, and fibromyalgia for starters. I take .5 xanax at night to sleep and ritalin for my ADD-at this time. In the past I was on different SSRI's, trazodone-which caused an interaction when my dosages were raised, strattera-can't take because of heart defect doc didn't listen.

Sounds like you are in the middle of a med nightmare-but that can be worked out by trial and error. Some SSRI's actually help prevent migraines, others don't. Here is a website that has helped me learn about my medications and has an interaction checker. Sometimes what I thought were psychiatric problems were actually drug side effects-but I am also very sensitive to many medications. Here is a websit that is very helpful-you have to join, but it is free. The interaction checker is awesome! Saved me a lot of problems. http://www.medscape.com/medscapetoday

Do you see a counselor? Your PTSD sounds very severe and intense right now. It does remit and improve and you can learn techniques to cope and heal. I am living proof-but don't talk about what caused my PTSD on the public forum. Rarely does my PTSD interfere with my life now, but it almost took it 13 years ago. I can't emphasize how important that is when you are dealing with these issues. I have made enormous strides in recovering because of counseling-I suggest considering a PhD psychologist since your background is so complex. This person can help you gain perspective and teach you methods/tools to heal and adapt to your situation. You sound so motivated, yet at at the end of your rope-I have been there and send hugs, lots of them.

You can and you will make it through this, you are strong, you are a survivor, you are worthy of love and acceptance. You are valuable, precious, and needed in this world. You deserve a good, happy, satisfying life. Hang in there, find the care you need and you will begin to climb that rope. You are not to blame, it is not your fault, you did not deserve what happened. You can follow your dreams.

ME-VI, who is now climbing her rope again. Thank god for that big giant know at the bottom of my rope! I didn't slide off. BTW, this is recent for me, I saw my psychologist yesterday and just got off the meds with bad side effects and feel good for the first time in a very long time. It truly is about taking one day at a time, one step, one minute. PM me if needed and post here. I care and so do others.

I want to share the one line that keeps me going on bad days.....

DON'T LET THE B*A*S*T*A*R*D*S WIN.

In other words, whatever happened to you, whatever someone did to you, do not let them win, do not let them have the power to destroy your life, physically or emotionally. Otherwise, they win. And damn it, I will not let those people, etc win-never, ever, ever. That would be injust, unfair, and I hate losing to the bad guys...... So kick them in the butt and fight for a good life, a happy life, the life you want.

Hugs and my heart goes out to you.

Thanks Visual, I have the drug checker and use it. I found that all SSRI's could cause interactions with stimulants. I'm really scared to start taking the Celexa he prescribed.<O:p</O:p

Amnitriptiline and Topomax are migraine preventions but they don't work for me.<O:p</O:p


Honesty if I could just get on SSI disability I could quit the Ambien, Antidepressant, and Adderall. I would take Valium as needed and that would probably be 10 pills a month and Darvocet maybe 5 pills a month. This scenario sounds so much better than having to work and deal with doctors and medications. Why is it so difficult to work? If I don't find a solution soon I will lose my job. I've been doing the trial and error thing with meds for a year now. I will keep my fingers crossed and hope the Celexa and Adderall doesn’t cause another suicide attempt

You have a lot of somatic symptoms from your traumatic experiences. I bet your HPA Axis and limbic system are set on about 10, huh?


The best treatment I have found for PTSD symptoms is Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, but not too many doctors/nurses/social workers are trained in how to do it.

I did a program here in Toronto.

It helps release the trauma that is causing the bodily suffering (e.g. sleep problems, panic attacks, insomnia, anxiety, depression, headaches, stomachaches, chronic pain, etc)

One book that explains somatic therapy (less clinical in its explanations) is WAKING THE TIGER by Peter Levine.

I highly recommend it.


http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/155643233X/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-8376277-8708633#reader-link


http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Trauma-Pioneering-Program-Restoring/dp/1591792479/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/103-8376277-8708633?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181968168&sr=8-2


http://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Through-Childs-Eyes-Awakening/dp/1556436300/ref=pd_bbs_sr_3/103-8376277-8708633?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1181968168&sr=8-3

Learning Tracking Skills and stuff really helps!

-------

re: Valium and Pain Meds

The problem with Pills for Pain and Sleep and Sedation -- is that eventually they "turn on you". Especially drugs like tranqs (Valium; destroys your sleep, actually, by making you stay in REM too much, and not enuf time in Stage 3/4 restorative sleep) and painkillers (rebound pain comes; worse than original pains).

Valium is also horrible for our awful ADHD memories. I suppose you know that Valium impairs short term memory and long term memory ('learning'). Trauma does too. You don't need any more memory problems!

They just cover up symptoms. Treatments like SP get rid of the symptoms, in the long run.

Have you tried ritalin? I used to take it with an SSRI. stims are also used in addition to SSRI's for treatment resistant depression. Sounds like the PTSD is really throwing you for a loop, you could talk to a doc about SSI, but it can be hard to get. plus you should be protected under the ADA-take a FMLA leave if you can is an option to consider.

Wish I had answers for you, just please talk to your doctor and counselor, if they know how much you are struggling, the doc should reassess your meds. Call a doc referral line at a teaching hospital, they should be able to help you find a doc that takes you insurance and skilled in treating PTSD. If you feel you need a diff doctor....

You have a lot of somatic symptoms from your traumatic experiences. I bet your HPA Axis and limbic system are set on about 10, huh?
I have no idea what any of this means, but I will google somatic, HPA axis and limbic system and see what it tells me
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I haven’t tried Ritalin. The only thing I've had is Adderall XR. I told my doctor I couldn't afford it anymore and wanted something different. While I was trying to remember the names of the meds that were cheap he said he would only give me Adderall Instant release and wouldn't listen to what I was trying to tell him about the other medications out there? I also told him I can sleep when I take the Adderall if I take it in the daytime and he said that wasn't unusual? I don't understand him at all.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

I have no idea what an SSI is and what it treats.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

I'm not as familiar with PTSD as I am depression. I diagnosed myself with it about 2 years ago and then told my old doctor I had it. He questioned me then agreed. I used to have some awful nightmares so I do dream work now. I don't have them as often and most of the time I can change the dream if it starts going in the wrong direction. It took a year to learn to do that but it's really helped.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

I think those books would be great to read. Reading usually isn't pleasant for me to do, unless it's short. But I intend on getting one and reading it to see if it will help (I will try just about anything to get better)<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

I want to thank both of you (Queens U and Visual) for giving me feedback. You've done more for me than my damn doctor. I wasn't aware Valium impairs short and long term memory or keeps me in the REM state to long. My husband remarked that I dream at the wrong times. I guess when I fall asleep I go straight into REM and dream? That’s what he told me and I don't know about the whole sleeping cycle thing but I guess that is another thing I should look into. My doctor's intern was "trying" to help me, but the doc got an attitude and broke up our discussion about my sleep problems. I think he is mad because I challenged him to "try and think" of something to help me instead of writing these prescriptions and kicking me out the door. <o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

Part of this is my fault because I don't feel I can be honest with him due to his narrow mindedness. If I tell him Adderall bothers me when coming off of it he is the type just to take it away and not replace it with another type. I feel stuck.

Thanks
Tammy

I also told him I can sleep when I take the Adderall if I take it in the daytime and he said that wasn't unusual? I don't understand him at all.Its not unusual at all; if you take the stimulant during the day it ought to be worn off by bedtime.

I have no idea what an SSI is and what it treats SSRI==Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitor, its a class of antidepressent. Prozac, Celexa et. al. are SSRIs

I'm not as familiar with PTSD as I am depression. I diagnosed myself with it about 2 years ago and then told my old doctor I had it. Is this doctor also aware of your traumatic history? Like QueensU stated, you are probably having a lot of symptoms due to PTSD, and that's likely to make the depression, anxiety, and sleep problems very resistant to treatment. The core issue here would be PTSD, IMHO. The meds to offset these issues may be masking the problem rather than addressing it.

Opiods (Darvocet), stimulants (Adderall) and benzodiazapines (Valium) are addictive, and Ambien is a close relative of the benzodiazapine family...it is only indicated for short term use, as a rule. Perhaps the doc may be going off-label to let you use it long term, but that will increase the chances of dependency.

I would agree that you need to be on less, or different, medications.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-traumatic_stress_disorder

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a term for certain severe psychological consequences of exposure to, or confrontation with, stressful events that the person experiences as highly traumatic.<sup id="_ref-surgeon42_0" class="reference">[1]</sup> Clinically, such events involve actual or threatened death, serious physical injury, or a threat to physical and/or psychological integrity, to a degree that usual psychological defenses are incapable of coping with the impact. It is occasionally called post-traumatic stress reaction to emphasize that it is a result of traumatic experience rather than a manifestation of a pre-existing psychological condition. The presence of a PTSD response is influenced by the intensity of the experience, its duration, and the individual person involved.

It is possible for individuals to experience traumatic stress without manifesting Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, as indicated in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, and also for people to experience traumatic situations and not develop PTSD. In fact, most people who experience traumatic events will not develop PTSD. For most people, the emotional effects of traumatic events tend to subside after several months. PTSD is thought to be primarily an anxiety disorder (possibly closely related to panic disorder) and should not be confused with normal grief and adjustment after traumatic events.

PTSD may be triggered by an external factor or factors. Its symptoms can include the following: nightmares, flashbacks, emotional detachment or numbing of feelings (emotional self-mortification or dissociation), insomnia, avoidance of reminders and extreme distress when exposed to the reminders ("triggers"), loss of appetite, irritability, hypervigilance, memory loss (may appear as difficulty paying attention), excessive startle response, clinical depression, and anxiety. It is also possible for a person suffering from PTSD to exhibit one or more other comorbid psychiatric disorders; these disorders often include clinical depression (or bipolar disorder), general anxiety disorder, and a variety of addictions.

Symptoms that appear within the first month of the trauma are called Acute stress disorder, not PTSD according to DSM-IV. If there is no improvement of symptoms after this period of time, PTSD is diagnosed. PTSD has three subforms: Acute PTSD subsides after a duration of three months. If the symptoms persist, the diagnosis is changed to chronic PTSD. The third subform is referred to as delayed onset PTSD which may occur months, years, or even decades after the event.

I know what an SSRI is but not an SSI, but I think maybe she meant SSRI? I found out I have all of the somatic symptoms except for one. It sucks, but at least I know "why" I'm sick all of the time.

So the big question is: What medication should I get rid of? Adderall is more addictive than Valium. I think that out of all the medications I need the Valium the most. It stops nightmares and heart palpatations and keeps me from running to the ER. It saves me money and embarrasement in the long run. I still feel stuck because it seems I need the adderall to keep my job.

Thanks for listening
Tammy


Its not unusual at all; if you take the stimulant during the day it ought to be worn off by bedtime.

SSRI==Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitor, its a class of antidepressent. Prozac, Celexa et. al. are SSRIs

Is this doctor also aware of your traumatic history? Like QueensU stated, you are probably having a lot of symptoms due to PTSD, and that's likely to make the depression, anxiety, and sleep problems very resistant to treatment. The core issue here would be PTSD, IMHO. The meds to offset these issues may be masking the problem rather than addressing it.

Opiods (Darvocet), stimulants (Adderall) and benzodiazapines (Valium) are addictive, and Ambien is a close relative of the benzodiazapine family...it is only indicated for short term use, as a rule. Perhaps the doc may be going off-label to let you use it long term, but that will increase the chances of dependency.

I would agree that you need to be on less, or different, medications.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-traumatic_stress_disorder

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a term for certain severe psychological consequences of exposure to, or confrontation with, stressful events that the person experiences as highly traumatic.<SUP class=reference id=_ref-surgeon42_0>[1]</SUP> Clinically, such events involve actual or threatened death, serious physical injury, or a threat to physical and/or psychological integrity, to a degree that usual psychological defenses are incapable of coping with the impact. It is occasionally called post-traumatic stress reaction to emphasize that it is a result of traumatic experience rather than a manifestation of a pre-existing psychological condition. The presence of a PTSD response is influenced by the intensity of the experience, its duration, and the individual person involved.

It is possible for individuals to experience traumatic stress without manifesting Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, as indicated in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, and also for people to experience traumatic situations and not develop PTSD. In fact, most people who experience traumatic events will not develop PTSD. For most people, the emotional effects of traumatic events tend to subside after several months. PTSD is thought to be primarily an anxiety disorder (possibly closely related to panic disorder) and should not be confused with normal grief and adjustment after traumatic events.

PTSD may be triggered by an external factor or factors. Its symptoms can include the following: nightmares, flashbacks, emotional detachment or numbing of feelings (emotional self-mortification or dissociation), insomnia, avoidance of reminders and extreme distress when exposed to the reminders ("triggers"), loss of appetite, irritability, hypervigilance, memory loss (may appear as difficulty paying attention), excessive startle response, clinical depression, and anxiety. It is also possible for a person suffering from PTSD to exhibit one or more other comorbid psychiatric disorders; these disorders often include clinical depression (or bipolar disorder), general anxiety disorder, and a variety of addictions.

Symptoms that appear within the first month of the trauma are called Acute stress disorder, not PTSD according to DSM-IV. If there is no improvement of symptoms after this period of time, PTSD is diagnosed. PTSD has three subforms: Acute PTSD subsides after a duration of three months. If the symptoms persist, the diagnosis is changed to chronic PTSD. The third subform is referred to as delayed onset PTSD which may occur months, years, or even decades after the event.

I bought this book and have been working on it for the past 4 days. Healing Trauma: A Pioneering Program for Restoring the Wisdom of Your Body. It makes sense and I pray it helps.


Tammy