I have take many self assesments and they have shown that I have ADD. I haven't made it to a doctor yet for many reasons but I will eventually. Right now I'm just try to make it through.

I have a question for everyone. I tend to over-analyze/dwell on/worry about stuff. I'm not sure if this is ADD linked or not.

Here is an example:

I was a volunteer for VBS and got the teachers under me some gifts. When I had talked to our children's ministry director at the very beginning she had said that I could get reimbursed for it up to $10. I never did verify that with her again. I just went out and got the gifts. I turned in the receipts and she emailed me saying that they were not pre-approved. I emailed her back and said that I thought they had been due to our conversation. I also said that there is nothing we can do know but I'd make sure I was more clear in the future. I have now been checking my email for her response.

I guess I think that I kind of blamed her for the misunderstanding and that she'll be mad. Or that she'll think I'm trying to guilt her into approving the reimbursement. That wasn't my point. I take it personally when something has been agreed to (in my mind) and then it is changed. I'm sure it's not personal, but now I feel hurt. And I just dwelling on it and thinking I need to find a new church (we just joined this one in March).

I do this a lot. Take things personally and overreact with my actions. Is this ADD related or is there something else going on with me? I never understand why there are things that bother me so much and it just slides off me husbands back. Another example is that I play on-lines games and if someone forces me to resign the game or kicks me off a table I get sooo angry. My husband just looks at me and says "I can't believe your this upset about that".

I guees I want to feel "normal" and see that others go through this. Any tips on how to get past the dwelling on something and/or overreacting?

Liz

I'm of the opinion that ADD people often times feel too responsible especially in the situation you described. Because of feeling like we can't trust ourselves to always perform well in conversations or social situations we beat ourselves up about it with excessive brooding and dwelling. I have gotten better at catching myself in the midst of these negative thought patterns and have found it helps to talk about it with someone I trust.
Just so you know, I don't think you really did anything too rash by buying the gifts after finding out how much you could be reimbursed for. I think that lady dropped the ball by not mentioning the purchase had to be preapproved before hand. I'm almost certain that you did not offend her or that she has thought about this at all.

I don't know if the whole 'taking things personally' is an ADD thing, a female thing, personality thing... really hard to pin point and say for sure. But it could be an ADD thing since our minds do go into overdrive and might need to find some kind of 'resolution'.. hey, why not offer ourselves as the cause whether that's justifed or not. However let me be clear and say I do not think you are at fault in this situation!!

I strongly do encourage you to get diagnosed. 'Getting by' really is no way to live, and it might land you into bigger problems down the road.

Hi pugb - Welcome to the Boards!

I'm not sure if what you're describing is particular to ADD either, but I really could identify with your dwelling & worrying BIG-TIME!! I DO believe that those feelings would fall under the category of a type of Depression (according to some in the field) - but whatever you want to call it, from experience I have found a variety of things to be somewhat helpful. Conversly - I have also found a variety of things that were SUPPOSED to be helpful, but actually made the situation worse!

Now this is just my personal opinion from personal experience - I would NEVER try to interfere with a person's religion, so please know that what I say is - in NO WAY - an intention to do that. Again, from my personal experience, I have found some of the "born again" churches to have members that I found to be people I could turn to for support and who would at least comfort me and be kind. Ya know - I could feel LOVE coming from them.

On the other hand, I have been to some other churches where talking with the other members always made me feel WORSE - regardless. It was as if NO MATTER what I said or did, I was NOT approved of, etc. And TODAY, I don't believe that kind of reaction is what the Lord wants from me. Whereas before, I was very confused and would get messages such as, "Sometimes the Lord wants us to rebuke our brothers and sisters." THIS kind of comment would be made over NOTHING. It wouldn't be regarding an actual SIN of mine. It'd be for something like me being in YOUR situation and then finally going to that Church Treasurer you thought you had the $10 reimbursement approval from and seeking to "clear the air" and say that you hope there aren't any hard feelings or misunderstandings between the two of you. And she says something about "Not wanting to mix with the chaffe" or something else negative.

If you are in THAT kind of environment, YES - you will worry & dwell CONSTANTLY!!! HOW CAN YOU NOT!?!

So I hope that isn't the case. And I hope that you find a way soon that will assist you with this burden. (I understand the feeling, and it IS burdensome. It took a LONG time to be released from these feelings - but SLOWLY I have come so far, and I would NEVER want to return there OR want any other person to go through this.) I believe that you are on your way - just by asking these questions. And if you can find someone with whom you feel safe talking to about this - I URGE YOU to DO IT!! You really don't have to live the rest of your life like this AT ALL!! God doesn't want you to - that I know.

Please feel free to private message me if you'd like to talk more about this. I really feel for you, and I would be more than happy to offer you any support that I can!!

Sincerely,
Sue

I have take many self assesments and they have shown that I have ADD. I haven't made it to a doctor yet for many reasons but I will eventually. Right now I'm just try to make it through.

I have a question for everyone. I tend to over-analyze/dwell on/worry about stuff. I'm not sure if this is ADD linked or not.
....

I do this a lot. Take things personally and overreact with my actions. Is this ADD related or is there something else going on with me? I never understand why there are things that bother me so much and it just slides off me husbands back. Another example is that I play on-lines games and if someone forces me to resign the game or kicks me off a table I get sooo angry. My husband just looks at me and says "I can't believe your this upset about that".

I guees I want to feel "normal" and see that others go through this. Any tips on how to get past the dwelling on something and/or overreacting?

Liz

I do this too. It causes me a lot of grief. I just want to let things go or take a "chill pill" as I have often been advised. I just don't know how. Sometimes I don't even know myself exactly what I am feeling - am I mad? Hurt? Sad? Frustrated? All negative feelings feel the same to me. And, as hard as I try, I just can't put some things out of my mind.

I have take many self assesments and they have shown that I have ADD. I haven't made it to a doctor yet for many reasons but I will eventually. Right now I'm just try to make it through.

I have a question for everyone. I tend to over-analyze/dwell on/worry about stuff. I'm not sure if this is ADD linked or not.

Here is an example:

I was a volunteer for VBS and got the teachers under me some gifts. When I had talked to our children's ministry director at the very beginning she had said that I could get reimbursed for it up to $10. I never did verify that with her again. I just went out and got the gifts. I turned in the receipts and she emailed me saying that they were not pre-approved. I emailed her back and said that I thought they had been due to our conversation. I also said that there is nothing we can do know but I'd make sure I was more clear in the future. I have now been checking my email for her response.

I guess I think that I kind of blamed her for the misunderstanding and that she'll be mad. Or that she'll think I'm trying to guilt her into approving the reimbursement. That wasn't my point. I take it personally when something has been agreed to (in my mind) and then it is changed. I'm sure it's not personal, but now I feel hurt. And I just dwelling on it and thinking I need to find a new church (we just joined this one in March).

I do this a lot. Take things personally and overreact with my actions. Is this ADD related or is there something else going on with me? I never understand why there are things that bother me so much and it just slides off me husbands back. Another example is that I play on-lines games and if someone forces me to resign the game or kicks me off a table I get sooo angry. My husband just looks at me and says "I can't believe your this upset about that".

I guees I want to feel "normal" and see that others go through this. Any tips on how to get past the dwelling on something and/or overreacting?

LizConscientious apathy, try it. It works wonders.

Conscientious apathy, try it. It works wonders.

What's that?

What's that?Not giving a crap, on purpose.

I know when I waiting for a response, I am continuously checking my E-mail, etc....

I think it is because we are looking to resolve the issue, and it is also a form of stimulus, as we want to get it over with so we can move on with the rest, and we let these little things hold us up.

I know I am doing it more as of recent because I am really bored @ work, and always lookeng for something to do. I can't sit still.

I am checking these boardes, my E-mail, my facebook, everything, just to keep me preoccupied, and when something isn't right, I staret to wonder what did I do wrong.

1 big thing I noticed, is if we start to think about what we do wrong, it starts to become a reality more than not.

We are also sometimes taking on responsibility for others feelings, which can also make things bad.

If you hurt someone, ask yourself, was that your intent? If not, appologize, and move on (the hard part).

I believe what you are describing is a generalized anxiety disorder, where your amydala (sp?) is just way overactive, so everything seems more important and a bigger deal than it is. I did this type of thing, too, until I went on Lexapro. Then I was even able to stop obsessing over my husband's emotional affair! Now I'm on Effexor XR and the anxiety relief is even more consistent.

The Lexapro was a relevation for me. I realized that I'd spent my whole life in this amped up state. Investigate it. It can change your life.

Welcome to the forums, Liz!:)

The part about getting very upset over small things is definately an ADD type thing (although it can of course be caused by other things as well). When my husband and I were first dating, he once accidentally pinged me in the backside with the racquet ball -- I ended up heaving my racquet across the court in anger (I was a mild mannered school teacher at the time!). We were both surprised -- like where did that come from?:eek: Anyway, part of ADD is difficulty regulating emotions. It's like the filter doesn't work very well. Dr. Tom Brown has a good explanation of what goes on emotionally for ADDers in his book Attention Deficit Disorder: The Unfocused Mind in Children and Adults.

As far as the worrying goes, a lot of folks with ADD are chronic worriers -- Hallowell (author of Delivered from Distraction) says that between the actual mistakes we have to worry about and the fact that worry can help focus the mind, it's pretty common. About a third of ADDers are also OCD and a lot more are subclinical diagnosis wise but still very obsessive. Things can easily get caught in repeating loops of worry and be very difficult to let go of. You might check out Sari Solden's book Women with Attention Deficit Disorder too -- she goes into how women with ADD frequently drive themselves nuts worrying about stuff.

Take care!

Pug- You just described me to a T. I had been like that all my life and worried about things and people would just look at me and be like "who cares" "shake it off" "that's nothing to worry about". I tried so hard to be like that, uncaring and all. But I couldn't...the thoughts just kept coming..like a broken record.

My Drs prescribed all kinds of depression meds and they worked..a little...Finally at age 31 I took and ADD assesment and went to a Mental Health specialist. Guess who has ADD! I took the meds and was med with immediate improvement..I am now adjusting my dosage to get it just right.

This forum is so great! Browse around! Even Scattered and I have joked about me overworrying before. It's that comfortable here and people really do understand...because we have been there!

About your Church...I am going to be very careful ...as I have been edited before for discussing religion. I agree with Sue. In my personal opinion-which in no way is meant to persuade or influence anothers..:p I feel as though your church family should love and respect you. If you would like to PM me I'd love to talk more....about anything!

Take care...you are among friends...:)

I think it's a female thing + ADD thing. I catch myself going over things I've said OVER and OVER in my mind...

like, "That was so stupid and awkward! I should have said blahblahblah..." I constantly overthink something I could have said rather than what I actually said, and it drives me completely insane.

I also HATE it when someone says "Chill out," or "calm down." Those are the two biggest pet peeves of mine - because I'm just sitting there going, "NO, can't you see I CAN'T calm down or just 'let it go'?"

It's terrible!!

I'm new to this ADD thing - I actually just realized that I had it and made the appointment to talk to my doc and start medication (which is an amazing, eye opening experience for me).

But, I was diagnosed with depression about nine years ago after my first son was born. I have been taking zoloft since then (except for the two years I was pregnant with my other two children). I find that when I forget to take my zoloft I have uncontrollable worry about what people think of me and can just replay conversations in my head ALL DAY. I'll be sitting there on the couch and this horrible feeling will hit me about how dumb I am and how goofy/stupid/weird, etc, I must look and why does anyone like me. Zoloft helps me a lot - in fact, if my husband knows I'm stressing about my interactions with someone he will ask if I've taken my zoloft that day. :p

Now that I've started adderall I have a feeling that it will help me with that obsessiveness even more - I guess it makes sense that the same panic, out of control, "scatterbrained" feeling that my ADD causes is related to this constant worry of what folks think.

Don't worry - you are not alone.

I have just been through finding out about my ADD. In doing so I started to realize there was a good chance my father and brother might have this as well. I know my son has it too. I see this problem with the males in my family they get upset about things and dwell on them for way too long.

The other night I spoke to my brother and he ended up yelling at me for something I did over 20 years ago when I was 4, and if history proves right he will not speak to me for 6 months. I worry my son has the same problem, as being upset for 20 years seems to be a bit unreasonable, but my son does bring things up that are not a big deal and gets upset about them years later. Every once in a while he will cry about a piggy bank he broke over 2 years ago. I don't want my son to be like my brother is scares me. My brother has a hard time functioning in society and with other people, he has violent outbursts and has exteme anger problems, this causes him to be very unhappy. I don't want my son to follow that path.

In addition to ADD I was diagnosed with co-morbid depression and anxiety. I just started anti-depressant meds recently and I feel like a whole new person. Things that would bother me and I would get upset about, seem to just roll off of me right now. I'm not sure to what degree ADD is involved but definitely those sufffering from depression and anxiety have trouble with over worry/dwelling.