I have been recently diagnosed with ADD (12/06). I am ashamed to say that I never believed that ADD was a "real" diagnosis, until I began my psychiatric rotation in nursing school. I worked with many ADD and ADHD children and saw the changes in their behavior through medication. Imagine my surprise when I went to the school clinic for anxiety. I originally went for anxiety and the binge drinking I expereinced to deal with it. After speaking to me my doctor replied "I think you have ADD related anxiety". I went through numerous screenings by several doctors, psycholigists, and a psychiatrist and was diagnosed. At first, my friends and family members did not believe me. I started with ADDERALL and found that I was able to concentrate in class. I made the deans list through my most difficult semester (I was told that I compensated well through intelligence etc. ) I have always been late my entire life. I cannot hold a job that begins early in the AM. Yet, I am still trying to adjust to meds. Adderall worked very well but the systemic effects turned me awaY (gastritis, back pains, rebound depression) I switched to concerta which makes me very anxious and emotionally labile. I cannot go back to the person I was before. I had no energy and could not concentrate. Despite the side effects, the meds have served me well! I have read about the cycle of shame that women with ADD experience. Has anyone else experienced this? I have never been depressed and am experiencing it now. Am I on the wrong meds (36 mg Concerta) or do I need a higher dose?

I have been recently diagnosed with ADD (12/06). I am ashamed to say that I never believed that ADD was a "real" diagnosis, until I began my psychiatric rotation in nursing school. I worked with many ADD and ADHD children and saw the changes in their behavior through medication. Imagine my surprise when I went to the school clinic for anxiety. I originally went for anxiety and the binge drinking I expereinced to deal with it. After speaking to me my doctor replied "I think you have ADD related anxiety". I went through numerous screenings by several doctors, psycholigists, and a psychiatrist and was diagnosed. At first, my friends and family members did not believe me. I started with ADDERALL and found that I was able to concentrate in class. I made the deans list through my most difficult semester (I was told that I compensated well through intelligence etc. ) I have always been late my entire life. I cannot hold a job that begins early in the AM. Yet, I am still trying to adjust to meds. Adderall worked very well but the systemic effects turned me awaY (gastritis, back pains, rebound depression) I switched to concerta which makes me very anxious and emotionally labile. I cannot go back to the person I was before. I had no energy and could not concentrate. Despite the side effects, the meds have served me well! I have read about the cycle of shame that women with ADD experience. Has anyone else experienced this? I have never been depressed and am experiencing it now. Am I on the wrong meds (36 mg Concerta) or do I need a higher dose?Hi Snarky!

Welcome to the forum! Love your username. My Mom says "snarky" a lot, meaning sharp, good looking.

I was diagnosed in Feb. as an adult as well. I did really well in grade school -high school, because I was in a very small school (no competition), because I was smart, and because I wanted to please my teacher/parents. I did well in college because I was very interested in the classes in my major. I have struggled with self esteem and with depression. I am also bipolar II. Also diagnosed in Feb 07. I was on Antidepressants for many years, and they were really bad for me because of the undx bipolar. I am inattentive ADHD so like you, I have problems with energy and anxiety. The anxiety got much worse in last few years because of stress.

I have been on Adderall for a very short time, a mood stabilizer for several months. The mood stabilizer is wonderful, and finally after 15 years of different antidepressants, I have finally gotten rid of the depression. Sorry to say, the anxiety is still there.

I don't know what to recommend to you regarding concerta or your depression. I just know that it takes a long time to find the right combination. Don't get discourged! You will find many people here on the forum have struggled a long time with meds. You are not alone. And I hope you have a good doctor. This thread has a good discussion going re: finding the right meds: http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=40463

Hey I used to live near Portland! I love how green it is, but my seasonal depression was awful in the winter with all the cloudy/rainy days. We have very sunny winters here, with occasional snow and cold. Good luck hun! :D

Your story sounds much like mine, yup.

Right down to the Nursing School part!

(xEcept that my University Disability Office kept telling me there was "nothing wrong". I found my own LD/ADHD "testing". The Disability Lady there has since had her butt 'canned'.)

========

Females diagnosed as Adults:

Because females are missed in childhood, there is a WHOLE generation of women diagnosed with ADD/ADHD as Adults.

It makes me mad/sad b/c i think of how well i could have done in college and HS with treatment and information about ADHD and medications. :S

Females with treatment resistant Depression and Anxiety should always be assessed for (a) undiagnosed LD/ADD/ADHD or (b) trauma/dissociative disorders, or both. (I have read that in a few books now.)

-------------------


You say that Adderall worked for you.

i'd really recommend asking about Dexedrine. It is like Adderall (same core drug), but much smoother (no back/neck pains from tight muscles, etc.)

I have taken both and recommend the Dexedrine (IR or long acting or combo).

I can't remember feeling shame after my diagnosis. I felt sad, that's for sure. I've been playing catchup for the past two years since I've been taking dexedrine. At first I felt like Rip Van Winkle. Then there's some overwhelm considering how much I could have accomplished and haven't. I know, at age almost 50, I'll never achieve my potential partly also because I have a physical disability for the past 11 years. But I"m doing the most and the best I can. It's all very intense and I focus on the things that are important to me.

Hi - I was diagnosed at the age of 35, and there were a lot of lost years and that feeling of shame which is less now -- but I still work on with my therapist. Not being diagnosed until adulthood can be really eye opening and also give feelings of loss, failure, etc. I also lost many friends at the time of my diagnosis and subsequent medication - some I no longer could be in friendships with because they were in parent/child-type modes. I could see more clearly friendships that needed more nurturing and those that were out of balance, and friends that didn't want to get what I was going through (who didn't even want to understand) ended up being on my back burner, and unfortunately sometimes those friendships had to end. It was a very tough year for me personally, but I do feel that my life is all the better for it - I have been in a long-term relationship for over 1 1/2 years now and I had NEVER been able to have one before...I was accepted into grad school (I had been talking about that forever) and financially I'm in a much, much better place. I feel more stable now in general. I am in the midst of switching meds or talking about it (from Ritalin SR to something else) but that's part of the process. Be kind to yourself...it's a huge life change...take good, good care of yourself in the midst of it. Seeing a therapist through the process has been the best thing for me personally - she's someone different than an ADD coach, but someone that I can process this all with. I wish you all the best.

Hey there!

Not being a doctor, I can't say for sure that your medication dosage isn't somehow related to your depression. It certainly could be, but that I would really encourage you to speak to the expert!

As for the depression, it is a very common experience a lot of people go through including myself. Not quite sure what you have to be ashamed about, but I hope you don't blame yourself for something you didn't do.

I know there was a lot of things I was depressed about after my diagnosis. Things I could have done, experiences I might have had... They say ignorance is bliss, and sometimes it can be. When I saw some stupid mistakes I would make, I wondered if I made them because I had ADD. Prior to that, I might have just laughed it off thinking I was out of it or something...

I can relate to your feelings and many of the others expressed also. I was diagnosed at 38 - last year. I knew a number of other women who had ADHD but because I got through college fairly well and also because I am not hyperactive, I never even considered the possibility. I ended up agreeing to be tested because I was in marriage counseling and the therapist suggested it - "just to rule it out" - grin. I almost did not go through all of it but my husband basically insisted. Now I'm glad I did and I sometimes regret not knowing sooner - especially because getting my advanced degree was a huge challenge and knowing about my disorder would have explained why and maybe helped with the university being more willing to work with me. However, I can't change the past. Anyway, it really helped to read books. My favorite thus far is "Women with Attention Deficite Disorder" by Sari Solden. I also have been very conservative with who I tell about my disorder. I figure if I had preconcieved notions and I'm generally a very open minded person, most other people will too so why bother? I do talk about symptoms sometimes if I need them to understand. Like I'll say, "I'm very challenged following directions, could you please draw a map" (or write them down step by step, etc) when getting directions or "sorry, I've got a lot on my mind, would you please tell me again about..." Medication has helped too. People at work have noticed the changes but I transferred from one type of job to another around the time I started taking medication so they just contribute the change to my new job "fitting better" with me. This is okay because I like my new job description better and I also get paid more.

I still haven't been diagnosed with ADD. It's been "suggested" and the doctors are definitely looking into it. I have been prescribed Adderall. What they say is that they want to treat my anxiety first, before looking into the ADD aspect. I've been under treatment for Panic/Anxiety for 10 years! I was tested for an LD and ADD, and I tested on the borderline for ADD, but that was two years ago. I'm struggling in college classes, I'm 34 and while the classes I take are upper level (advanced Calculus and advanced Physics), my therapists say, "but those are just so hard." I've got severe test anxiety and I tend to bomb tests. Then the department folks think I just can't do it. I have trouble staying focused, I take Adderal and it helped initially. I am about to begin a new semester and I need for things to change. I am definitely able to do this type of academic work (I have succeeded in the past) but it's not happening for me now. I've got almost an MA in Psychology, but have always wanted Meterology. The doctor I'm with now really seems to be on my side but progress is slow, my mother doesn't believe I have it and I can't seem to find anyway to plow through whatever is standing in the way so I can succeed... :( :( :( :(


Sorry...I'm done now.

I am 46 and was just diagnosed in the last couple of weeks after my daughter who is 6 was diagnosed. I have been taking 20 mg of adderall. I had side effects but after 4 days they were gone. I am on my 11th day, and they really have lost thier effectiveness. I have an appointment to see the doctor in a couple days, so hopefully she can either give me perscription for a higher dose or something. I will have to admitt that my depression and anxiety were totally gone. I have never been so happy and confident. I just have to work on the right dose. I am in the process of getting my daughter's dosage right too, so it is a little hectic to say the least.

Sarliz, I have a brother and sister who don't believe in ADHD too. I just don't talk to them about it. It your life, do what you think is best.

Debbie

I am 46 and was just diagnosed in the last couple of weeks after my daughter who is 6 was diagnosed I have been taking 20 mg of adderall. I had side effects but after 4 days they were gone. .I am on my 11th day, and they really have lost thier effectiveness. I have an appointment to see the doctor in a couple days, so hopefully she can either give me perscription for a higher dose or something. I will have to admitt that my depression and anxiety were totally gone. I have never been so happy and confident. I just have to work on the right dose. I am in the process of getting my daughter's dosage right too, so it is a little hectic to say the least.

Sarliz, I have a brother and sister who don't believe in ADHD too. I just don't talk to them about it. It your life, do what you think is best.

DebbieYour story sounds a lot like mine! I was DXed at 40 at virtually the same time as my 11 year old daughter. I went with her to her appointment. The doc is a very good diagnostician, and I never noticed (DUH!) that he was observing BOTH of us, as we interacted, and also as we interacted one-on-one with him.

Apparently, my ADHD was completely obvious :o and I had an appt. a few weeks later.

The side-effects-for-four-days is similar to my experience with Concerta, my first medication...except that I got the mild side effects that passed in 4 days only after I hit my optimum dose. What kind if side effects did you have, if you don't mind me asking?

Is the Adderal IR or XR? What is your dosing schedule? How did the 20mgs seem to work for you?>

I am actually getting at something here, trust me ;). I'll see about it after your reply.

Yup. similarities. Thirties diagnosis, Nursing school. you're scaring me. LOL

Dang, I wish I'D known about it in my thirties, or in nursing school, woulda helped me get through 'em. I found out at 45. My college-student daughter said "Hey, I might have ADD" and I did some reading and recognized myself, at last.

Adderall IR, 10 mg, up to three times daily, and I can adjust the times and doses as my wild night-shift life requires.

Self-medicated since I was 13 with bulimia - I was a nice girl so smoking, drinking or illegal drugging was too much of a statement, but raiding the fridge kept me under the radar.... which was of course my PLAN but I would have been better off going ahead and doing something more "bad", and honest, instead of ths passive-aggressive against myself course that I took.

So, welcome aboard, love. This forum is full of fascinating people whom I feel really privileged to get to know. I have found support and love and intellect and courage and insight from people I would never have had a chance to know on such a deep level in the Real World. It's been so nourishing to my spirit.

Hello all,

I might be the "grandma" here at 57, with a diagnosis still to come. The appointments are coming up in the next month or so, so I should know before Christmas. I was dismayed at my first appointment when a perky young doctor said to me, "We don't usually diagnose people this old," or words to that effect. For heaven sakes, it's not like I'm struggling around with a walker or something. I could easily have 30 years ahead of me to do all kinds of things. Last spring was when my reading took me to considering ADD might be the problem, I hadn't considered it before because I'm not hyperactive and never have been. But I could've been a poster child for inattention. The prospect of being able to do something about my lack of focus has me skipping.

Nice to find this website,

Duckie

Hi Hollyduck,

Don't you just love the tact that the young doctors have(not) these days? I think you are very smart to get help now. Imagine how many women out there who are younger, older, or even your age who are afraid to go look for help. I think women have been sorely disserviced, because we were not the squeaky wheel that needed the grease. I am one of the "older" set here, too, seeking a diagnosis (if I can ever stop procrastinating long enough to get help). I wish you good luck in your search for a doctor, and treatment.

At Heart

I was dismayed at my first appointment when a perky young doctor said to me, "We don't usually diagnose people this old," or words to that effect.My mother was told by her then doctor that he would never prescribe a stimulant med to a senior. She had low blood pressure and in perfect health. What a crock! Hollyduck, I hope you keep us posted.

re: #13

Hollyduck:

if you are an INATTENTIVE female, you were probably more likely to be Undiagnosed, than Diagnosed, in the school system. LOL :S

Most inattentives are entirely Missed by the system... (b/c we are not "behaviour problems" rather we are good and quiet.)

They go around & around being treated for "anxiety" and "depression", but never seem to get better.

*sigh*
-----

My own Canadian experience:
I am 36 and was supposedly hyperactive as a young child. Then Gifted classes in middle school. Left HS due to multiple issues beyond my control. Then ADD was finally diagnosed after years of me asking teachers/system if i had an LD, as an Adult.

(Self-Diagnosed at 32. Tested & Diagnosed at 33.)

------------

Don't expect 'Medicare' to cover any Psychological Testing in Canada... it does NOT in Ontario, anyway.

In many ways, ADHD/ADD/LD is a diagnosis of the well-heeled/informed: as usually only those who can afford it get diagnosed and treated.


NB
A backdoor to getting diagnosed if finances are a problem in affording Testing

If you don't have the $1000+ or so for Testing/Diagnosis at the Psychologist, the best way to get diagnosed is VIA a College or University Special Needs/Disability office. (even if you are 55 or 60 or whatever)


Go take one course part time.
Then go register with Special Needs/Disability and tell them you have learning problems, despite being bright.
Student Aid often covers Disability Costs INCLUDING Testing!!!

Thanks all,

The search for help (in the face of a nebulous condition) has gone on for at least 35 years, on and off. I've had psychological counseling, personality testing, sleep apnea testing and treatment, meditation training...and each of these has bettered my overall condition, but hasn't addressed the core problem.

Of course when I first knew something was wrong, in 1st or 2nd grade, neither childhood nor adult AD(H)D was even known of, so a diagnosis wasn't possible.

Still -- all the wasted time!

Duckie

QueensU_Girl advised:
NB
A backdoor to getting diagnosed if finances are a problem in affording Testing

If you don't have the $1000+ or so for Testing/Diagnosis at the Psychologist, the best way to get diagnosed is VIA a College or University Special Needs/Disability office. (even if you are 55 or 60 or whatever)

Go take one course part time.
Then go register with Special Needs/Disability and tell them you have learning problems, despite being bright.
Student Aid often covers Disability Costs INCLUDING Testing!!!
Thanks for this. At first glance it looked like my Blue Cross would cover the testing, but I should go give them a little visit to make sure ... had no idea the cost would be so high. My apnea testing cost me nothing (they even flew me to T.O. for it) which is pretty typical for our medical system.

Duckie

Hollyduck, I don't want to get your hopes up, but a local educational psychologist only charged us $200 for our son's assessment.

Thanks, imnapl! My next appointment is Sept 4. I have been researching the condition, symptoms, various meds, my past history in the light of possible ADD, read Brown's goldfish book and other research referred to on this site, and ordered from the library "You Mean I'm Not Crazy, Stupid or Lazy" but it won't arrive till Tuesday.

I earnestly hope that my doctor won't stall too much. The idea that a simple medication might allow me to break through the "grey wall" and actually work on some of my long term projects is enormously freeing.

It would be nice to do my job, too. I'm sure my editor would agree.

Duckie

Hi Snarky!

Welcome to the forum! Love your username. My Mom says "snarky" a lot, meaning sharp, good looking.

I was diagnosed in Feb. as an adult as well. I did really well in grade school -high school, because I was in a very small school (no competition), because I was smart, and because I wanted to please my teacher/parents. I did well in college because I was very interested in the classes in my major. I have struggled with self esteem and with depression. I am also bipolar II. Also diagnosed in Feb 07. I was on Antidepressants for many years, and they were really bad for me because of the undx bipolar. I am inattentive ADHD so like you, I have problems with energy and anxiety. The anxiety got much worse in last few years because of stress.

I have been on Adderall for a very short time, a mood stabilizer for several months. The mood stabilizer is wonderful, and finally after 15 years of different antidepressants, I have finally gotten rid of the depression. Sorry to say, the anxiety is still there.

I don't know what to recommend to you regarding concerta or your depression. I just know that it takes a long time to find the right combination. Don't get discourged! You will find many people here on the forum have struggled a long time with meds. You are not alone. And I hope you have a good doctor. This thread has a good discussion going re: finding the right meds: http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=40463

Hey I used to live near Portland! I love how green it is, but my seasonal depression was awful in the winter with all the cloudy/rainy days. We have very sunny winters here, with occasional snow and cold. Good luck hun! :D
woah, here's another case of 'wow, that's just like me!'

I just got diagnosed ADD in the last few months. I'm still not fully convinced. I've been dealing w/ depression for years, and just last May found out that it was actually bipolar, not depression.

The depression lifted, but I still had bouts of extreme irritability (symptom of both bipolar and ADD). I have trouble focusing, but that is a symptom of depression and ADD. Also, the bipolar med I'm on (Lamictal) tends to mess with brain function too.

In school, I was always an overachiever. My public school district was quite large, and had a lot of special programs for gifted kids, so I was never really bored, and managed quite well.

In college, I found my classes too easy. I usually took between 18 and 21 credit hours, plus worked part time in the evenings. And I still didn't feel challenged.

The depression mainly hit in grad school, and that's when I first felt like I couldn't finish tasks (when the depression was at its worst, I had a semester where I took 'incompletes' in every class). Now I'm in year 9 of grad school, still trying to finish my dissertation, and coming up on some deadlines.

My psychologist - who is just wonderful - also happens to be bipolar and ADD. She wasn't diagnosed ADD until she was almost 40, and she specializes in childhood ADD! A part of me is worried that she sees ADD in me because it is something she is familiar with. She did have me take a screening test, and I did fall into ADD range.

I guess I'm just confused because I never had any of the characteristics of ADD when I was younger (except that I procrastinated ALOT). Now, it seems like even though I meet a lot of the criteria, they could be explained by other problems.

But, I'm basically feeling that even if they are caused by something else, if the ADD meds will help me gain my focus back, maybe that's fine.

I'm getting my meds from a psychiatric nurse who works in the same office as my psychologist. She was a bit more hesitant to put me on a stimulant because of the bipolar, even though I had been on the mood stabilizer for several months. She started me w/ 10mg Adderall XR. My psychologist wants to see me at a much higher dose, or even on Vyvanse - at 50mg, but the psych. nurse wants to take baby steps. So, now I'm trying to figure out if I should get my psychologist to help me find another meds prescriber. I just want my brain working again so I can finish my dissertation. Before the depression was lifted, I couldn't even really care about that. Now that I'm getting 'mostly' better, I'm impatient to get to the point where I am truly 'well.'

sorry this is so long, but I guess maybe that's just another sign of ADD - I can ramble and ramble.

If anyone wants to offer comments or advice, thanks!

is hello everyone,

Just rereading this thread today and finding my own messages from four months ago. At that time I was happy and enthusiastic and ready to jump right into treatment. ha--ha--ha.

Since then, I've been put on several waiting lists for diagnosis -- forget about treatment. I saw one of the doctors at my clinic about 10 days ago and she said "this is probably depression, not ADHD, because depression is much more common in women." for heavens sakes -- maybe depression is diagnosed more often because people don't look for ADHD in women?

Luckily this lady is not my regular doctor, whom I will be seeing on the 14.

What scares me is the possibility that I might get put on antidepressants, and waste another few weeks or months messing around. If I'm depressed at all, I believe it's situational. Like, a really small pension, difficulty finding and keeping a job, a real pileup of bills, the car needing front end repairs and -- and well, you get the picture.

But antidepressants won't help if the underlying problem is ADHD. Or at least, that's what I think after all the reading I've done. Plus, they take weeks to take effect and often cause weight gain. I'm a middle-aged woman, for crying out loud. The last thing I need is more weight gain.

So, from the enthusiasm of September to the darkness of December -- I'm just hoping that my appointment on the 14th of December has more benefit than all the ones that I've had so far.

Ducky

I hope so tooo

Ugh, this takes effort, but I want to reply. :p
I have been recently diagnosed with ADD (12/06). I am ashamed to say that I never believed that ADD was a "real" diagnosis, until I began my psychiatric rotation in nursing school. I worked with many ADD and ADHD children and saw the changes in their behavior through medication. Imagine my surprise when I went to the school clinic for anxiety. I originally went for anxiety and the binge drinking I expereinced to deal with it. After speaking to me my doctor replied "I think you have ADD related anxiety". I went through numerous screenings by several doctors, psycholigists, and a psychiatrist and was diagnosed. At first, my friends and family members did not believe me. I started with ADDERALL and found that I was able to concentrate in class. I made the deans list through my most difficult semester (I was told that I compensated well through intelligence etc. ) I have always been late my entire life. I cannot hold a job that begins early in the AM. Yet, I am still trying to adjust to meds. Adderall worked very well but the systemic effects turned me awaY (gastritis, back pains, rebound depression) I switched to concerta which makes me very anxious and emotionally labile. I cannot go back to the person I was before. I had no energy and could not concentrate. Despite the side effects, the meds have served me well! I have read about the cycle of shame that women with ADD experience. Has anyone else experienced this? I have never been depressed and am experiencing it now. Am I on the wrong meds (36 mg Concerta) or do I need a higher dose?When did you start meds? I had a few weeks of feeling depressed, strange kind of depressed. Apparently that's normal and goes away. The mental bit about accepting what ADD means to you - especially accepting the impact it has on your life, might be good to talk out with a therapist.

Maybe you could try Lyrica or similar for your anxiety. How long did you stay on Adderall, btw? The side effects might have gone away after a while. Any problems with anxiety before?

I've had alot to deal with in my life, and sometimes it feels like it all happens to make you more tolerant of others. I hate that thought! :rolleyes:

I feel the same way about not becoming myself again after starting with meds. When I'm off them, I'm different than before. Tired and with a foggy mind. I wish I didn't have to take meds at all! But I feel that perhaps something this strong, with so many consequences on my quality of life, may need something strong to counteract also, to make my life tolerable. I can defend the type of meds ADHDers takes with that. ADHD is not a small thing.

I've been on meds since May, and I have to say that, being late, hasn't changed. ;) Sadly. Somebody tell me why and how that always happens. :faint: