hi everyone, i am worried about my 8 yr old son, he had delayed speech and still confuses words now. he is very clumsy, quite hyper and is constantly walking or running off in front and climbing on things. He has no perception of dangerous situations. He is always very loud and cant do things quietly. He says things that could offend people without realising that what he is saying is offensive. He is doesnt get on well with my other children, always picking fights and arguing. He always pushes thiungs further, for example if they are arguing and i tell them to stop and not to say one more word, he will say "IT" to push the arguement again. He behaves quite well at school although he never sits still and is always talking, he is on the lower level in all subjects except mathes. His hand writing is terrible and he hold his pencil really hard in his hand and presses so hard on the paper that it looks really messy. He takes everything literally so we really have to watch what we say to him. He gets bored easily. He eats and eats and makes a real mess with food, he also drinks excessively, he can drink a pint of water in about 5 seconds!
I really want to take him to see my doctor bout the problem is he lives with his dad and i only have him at weekends, i have mentioned to his dad that i think he should see someone but his dad says he is just plain naughty and that he will grow out of it. ( it took his dad three years to get him diagnosed with asthma after i had taken him to the doctors and already got him diagnosed, he didnt believe what my doctor had said!)
I really am desperate because i want to get him help but dont know how to get him the help or how to get his dad to listen to me about this. My sisters daughter is 16 and has aspergers syndrome, it took 11 years for her to be statemented and I really dont want this to drag on for that long. i want my son to get help asap because i dont want him labelled just a naughty boy. He can be really loving at times but not many people see that side to him. Please help me
Thank you

I really wish I knew what to say, I feel your pain though, as everything you are saying is what I saw in my daughter and sometimes still do. I hope you are able to find help and peace soon. Hang in and DONT GIVE UP.

You mention many motor issues ! Were there problems with his birth that might have affected his brain?
If he were MY kid, he'd be at a NEUROLOGIST ASAP.
Speech is partly created by the motor(movement) area of the Brain; so is handwriting, etc.)
Damage or conditions of the Motor Brain Areas will affect Movement in Speech and Writing.


Does he have issues with his CEREBELLUM or his MOTOR CORTEX?
Sounds like he also has issues of IMPULSIVITY (running into things)/no fear or no judgement or impaired sensory issues.
You mention that he "talks too loud". Hard of Hearing people can do that.
Did you guys check his hearing?
Or he might have an AUDITORY PROCESSING DISORDER.
He sounds like he has problems with VOICE MODULATION (can't control the "volume" of his voice). Might be a perceptual or sensory disorder.
People who talk to loud can also have NONVERBAL LEARNING DISABILITY (NVLD).
What do his Doctor's say?
-----------
'
re: Acting Out'

Does he have ODD? or CD?

ODD: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oppositional_Defiance_Disorder
CD: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conduct_disorder


People with communication deficits get frustrated and can "talk with their fists", too.
His Dad sounds cold and rejecting. (Antisocial?) What person denies his kid has Asthma? Asthma kills people every year. Duh.


-----------

Have you talked to the Children's Aid Society or Child Protective Services about your Husband's neglect of this child's health?

This man shouldn't have a dog or cat, let alone a CHILD.

This child has serious disabilities and multiple medical/developmental delays and medical conditions.

This is really disturbing.


Copy this message and your previous message and take it to a Social Worker with you, and tell them you are concerned.

Is seeing a Social Worker or non-PhD Counsellor free in the UK?

By Law, Social workers and counsellor's must report child neglect (e.g. keeping a child from meeting developmental milestones and witholding a child's medical care for conditions). Probably easier for you to get Authorities [counsellor] to do a Report for you.

he did have grommets when he was about 18 months old, 1 recently fell out. i also wonder if he could be like this because when he was eight weeks old he had severe chicken pox, flu, ear and chest infection and was quite poorly. I spoke to my ex today and he is arranging for my son to see his friend who is a special educational needs worker who tests people for different behavioural problems so hopefully we will be finding out very soon if he does have any of the things you mention. as far as i know there was nothing in his birth that could have affected his brain. You are right about my ex but unfortunately he is very good at manipulating people including the people involved in my custody battle for my kids. He comes across as a perfect father, and although he is a good dad he really does not do his best by them. thanks for your reply and i will let everyone know when we find anything out about my son.

You have described something that sounds a lot like pervasive developmental disorder. You need to get him evaluated and diagnosed right away. Get him to someone who knows something about autism spectrum disorders and have him evaluated. The sooner he gets diagnosed , the better his chances in life are.


Drinking lots of water may be nothing, but some blood chemistry problems can cause a person to be thirsty (like diabetes).

good luck
me :D

thanks and i will be having another word with his dad today to tell him he needs to see someone by the end of the week or i will take him myself which wont look good in any future court custody battles.
i am going to have a word with my dr today as well to see if i can get him referred immediately. thanx 4 ur help it is nice to know i am not alone.

spoke to my dr today he said i need to speak to my sons teacher and to the school nurse. so i will do that and see what they say

He needs to refered to a child developement centre asap. He sounds like he has Dyspraxia or some LD. Can school get him refered to Ed Psychologist? Sounds very like my son at the start. He needs help.

spoke to headmaster he is gonna av words with the SEN teacher to get him evaluated andthen if need be will refer him but the headmaster just thinks we need help with discipline and help from family steps which is a help group for parents and children to find solutions to bad behaviour

It is often so hard to get help for your children. I hope the headmaster follows through and gets a thorough evaluation for your son, by someone competent.

Hey Rach0074,

Have you had any luck with your doctor getting him referred to a specialist (I would think that you would want to take him to a pediatrician, and one who specializes in behavior problems?)

I feel for you, as my ex who has my children half the time (we have 50/50 custody down the line) is in denial also - states my son is simply lazy.

Let me know how things are going if you can.

At Heart

hi sorry i havent posted for a while have had a lot going on.
the SEN teacher at my sons school says she cannot assess him and gave me a leaflet about a help group for people who need to learn behaviour management for naughty kids!!
I am taking him the drs this week and i am not leaving his office until someone does something. We cannot go on how we have been going on. I am getting to the point where i find it difficult to cope with him. I told him off the other day for something minor and he went off on one and was crying his eyes out saying everyone hates him , i explained to him that we all love him very much and sometimes we find it difficult talking to him because he doesnt want to listen. my sons teacher said he is ok at school but then wrote in his report that he never listened, was disruptive and could not concentrate. also that he didnt learn though consequences to his bad behaviour. he is apparently constantly swinging back on his chair and finds it difficult to settle any arguments with his piers in class. he always has to win or he plays up!
I am very worried for his future and I am scared no one will take me seriously and help him. i dont want him to go untreated because doesnt he deserve a better life and a better chance to be happy and to fit in.
it is so hard to know what to do. i wish someone would give me answers, any answers good or bad. my son deserves to be able to live a happy life.i will let you all know how we get on.
thanx

Hi Rach0074,

I really feel for you, it's hard enough to cope with all your worries for your son without having to fight the outside world as well.

All I can say, is try and hang in there. You are the one who knows your son best. Don't be put off by being told it is just bad behaviour, if you know in your heart there is more. I have had plenty of 'professionals' tell me I don't know what I'm talking about only to find out I was right, time and time again.

You need to be strong and keep fighting for him, and remember that he has the most important thing, someone who will always be working for him. He's lucky to have you.

Good Luck