grlleast_likly2
06-21-07, 08:25 PM
hi everyone, this is my first post here. Sorry this is so long, but it seems to be the standard that the first post is a bit long. Now I don't feel so bad. :)
I'm a 27 y/o female diagnosed in 2002 with major depression and a few weeks later ADD (inattentive type). I've suffered from depression so long that I didn't know any differently, still though, I always knew something was surely wrong with me.
As most people, I went through hell while trying to find a medication, and then a combo, and then a dosage that would work for me. At one point, I was given some anti-depressant (which I don't remember the name of) that was supposed to be one of the only ones that had been approved to treat depression and OCD (which by the way, I don't believe I have) simultaneously. I stopped taking that one because it made my body tic.
For the last 4 years or so I've been on Wellbutrin SR 300 mg and Adderall XR 30mg. In the beginning I had all the classic Wellbutrin side effects like dry mouth, nausea, insomnia, weight loss, as well as the Adderall side effects of loss of appetite, weight loss, insomnia blah blah blah, that all lessened with time .
I will tell you that the meds have COMPLETELY changed my life. I'm happy, energetic, involved, driven and more focused ... It's absolutely wonderful to be on a level playing field with the rest of the world. I don't regret for a moment having been on either of these meds, but after having been on adderall xr for so long without any "breaks", I really don't feel that I'm getting the same benefits of the concentration, clarity and energy that I once had. However, since I've been taking it so long, if I don't have it, even for one day, I feel HORRIBLE. I'm suuuuper fatigued, cranky, angry, tired, indifferent, major headaches and have just a general sense of malaise.
I don't think I'm "addicted" in the sense that I'm psychologically dependant, being that I've never abused the stuff, however, I do believe that I am physically dependant on it, and that really bothers and scares me.
More and more, I've noticed that I'm more tired and less focused, despite the medication, and I've noticed that my eye sight seems to be in rapid decline. It feels like a constant feeling of pressure or swelling (it's hard to describe - kinda the way it feels after you've been crying all night) in my eyes. This feeling is incessant and only adds to my feeling of fatigue. I've also noticed that I'm looking older faster. And yes, I know that I'm going to look older because I AM older *:)* , but I really look haggard and tired. I have major bags and lines under my eyes and the quality of my skin just doesn't looks the way it should for a 27 year old. I look like I haven't slept in days and no amount of any over-the-counter eye creams or eye drops seems to help. I know this sounds like vanity, but it's more than that. I'm concerned that the effects that this could have on my heart could be a reason to be concerned for medical reasons; i mean, what else could be causing me to feel and look older than I am?
Also, I just found out that I have Mitral Valve Prolapse (MVP), which is a heart valve defect. It's very mild, but in all the times I've been to the doctor's, no one had ever noticed it before. Could the Adderall XR be the culprit of something like this? And now that I know I have MVP, is it dangerous for me to continue to be on it?
I've been thinking of coming off the adderall and testing to see if I truly need it and if perhaps the wellbutrin alone could handle all my problems. Or if perhapse continuing with wellbutrin and tryin to switch to Stattera (since it's the only non-narcotic and that would be better for my jacked-up heart valve, yes?). But I'm SO terrified of #1: the withdrawls, #2: returning to the way I used to feel before medication and #3: having to remain intact and fully functional for school and work while i'm in the process of a switching or at the very least, taking a "break" while I try and reset my tolerance level to Adderall XR.
Does anyone have any suggestions or stories from personal experience with this? any help would be greatly appreciated!
I have a ton more questions, but I just thought I'd introduce myself and get a few (hundred) :p questions in there first. Thanks for reading all of this, as I know it was really loooong.
I'm a 27 y/o female diagnosed in 2002 with major depression and a few weeks later ADD (inattentive type). I've suffered from depression so long that I didn't know any differently, still though, I always knew something was surely wrong with me.
As most people, I went through hell while trying to find a medication, and then a combo, and then a dosage that would work for me. At one point, I was given some anti-depressant (which I don't remember the name of) that was supposed to be one of the only ones that had been approved to treat depression and OCD (which by the way, I don't believe I have) simultaneously. I stopped taking that one because it made my body tic.
For the last 4 years or so I've been on Wellbutrin SR 300 mg and Adderall XR 30mg. In the beginning I had all the classic Wellbutrin side effects like dry mouth, nausea, insomnia, weight loss, as well as the Adderall side effects of loss of appetite, weight loss, insomnia blah blah blah, that all lessened with time .
I will tell you that the meds have COMPLETELY changed my life. I'm happy, energetic, involved, driven and more focused ... It's absolutely wonderful to be on a level playing field with the rest of the world. I don't regret for a moment having been on either of these meds, but after having been on adderall xr for so long without any "breaks", I really don't feel that I'm getting the same benefits of the concentration, clarity and energy that I once had. However, since I've been taking it so long, if I don't have it, even for one day, I feel HORRIBLE. I'm suuuuper fatigued, cranky, angry, tired, indifferent, major headaches and have just a general sense of malaise.
I don't think I'm "addicted" in the sense that I'm psychologically dependant, being that I've never abused the stuff, however, I do believe that I am physically dependant on it, and that really bothers and scares me.
More and more, I've noticed that I'm more tired and less focused, despite the medication, and I've noticed that my eye sight seems to be in rapid decline. It feels like a constant feeling of pressure or swelling (it's hard to describe - kinda the way it feels after you've been crying all night) in my eyes. This feeling is incessant and only adds to my feeling of fatigue. I've also noticed that I'm looking older faster. And yes, I know that I'm going to look older because I AM older *:)* , but I really look haggard and tired. I have major bags and lines under my eyes and the quality of my skin just doesn't looks the way it should for a 27 year old. I look like I haven't slept in days and no amount of any over-the-counter eye creams or eye drops seems to help. I know this sounds like vanity, but it's more than that. I'm concerned that the effects that this could have on my heart could be a reason to be concerned for medical reasons; i mean, what else could be causing me to feel and look older than I am?
Also, I just found out that I have Mitral Valve Prolapse (MVP), which is a heart valve defect. It's very mild, but in all the times I've been to the doctor's, no one had ever noticed it before. Could the Adderall XR be the culprit of something like this? And now that I know I have MVP, is it dangerous for me to continue to be on it?
I've been thinking of coming off the adderall and testing to see if I truly need it and if perhaps the wellbutrin alone could handle all my problems. Or if perhapse continuing with wellbutrin and tryin to switch to Stattera (since it's the only non-narcotic and that would be better for my jacked-up heart valve, yes?). But I'm SO terrified of #1: the withdrawls, #2: returning to the way I used to feel before medication and #3: having to remain intact and fully functional for school and work while i'm in the process of a switching or at the very least, taking a "break" while I try and reset my tolerance level to Adderall XR.
Does anyone have any suggestions or stories from personal experience with this? any help would be greatly appreciated!
I have a ton more questions, but I just thought I'd introduce myself and get a few (hundred) :p questions in there first. Thanks for reading all of this, as I know it was really loooong.