I needs some serious help. I haven't worked in over ten years! I was homeless for a while until a guy who is now my BF, he helped me out and brought me to his apartment to stay. i've been here for 8 months and haven't gotten a job.

8 months ago i filed for social security benefits. I had to wait 8 months just to get denied!! I'm not mediacted and I have ADD manic bipolar and god knows what else.

I'm in a vicious cycle. I am dependant on this guy for everything. We have been having arguements and he's threatened to kick me out back to a shelter every time he gets mad. I mean he threatens to kick me out that same night he gets angry and i cannot return to some shelters! One day he says I don't have to work and the next moment he's complaining that i don't help him out by contributing to the household. He's sweet as pie one moment and the next he's out of control wanting to throw me out.

I don't want to work. I have gotten fired from every job i ever had. i hardly have any clothes maybe 3 pairs of jeans and a few shirts. I don't know what kind of job I could do! Are there jobs I could do working from home?

I am filled with fear of going to work! Then, say if i got a job in the town i live at, and we get into an arguement and he throws me out, then I'll loose another job cause i won't be able to get there.. I don't drive, have no sense of diection... i am useless!

I have no skills, what jobs can i do working from home?
please help

You are in an abusive situation, obviously, and that makes Bipolar worse, and raises your chances of relapsing and needing to be hospitalized.
Getting out of there, and having safe housing to go to, is your top priority. (Obviously you need somewhere to "go TO", however.) Money is often an issue.
You mention a long stretch of homelessness. (ten years)
In my OWN experience, people who have had long periods of homelessness, or repeated housing security issues, don't just have 1 or 2 problems, but more like 29 problems. (I say this as someone who was homeless more than a few times as a child and teen, myself.)
What does your Doctor say? Can s/he help you get a 'drug card' from welfare for your medications?
The #1 thing you need to be is SAFE.
The #2 thing you need is get your medications.


You need guidance from a professional. A support team, IDEALLY...

Take this post you wrote, print it up, and take it to your Doctor!
Or even the Emergency Room. (Ask to see a SOCIAL WORKER, and tell them your housing is dangerous...)

What jobs can i do that doesn't require experience? I am avoiding mcdonalds and fast food places. I got fired from waitressing and the supermarkets... so I am avoiding those jobs too.

can you really make money at a work at home job?

any suggestions what direction i should take?

So lemme get this straight, you have no skills, are admittedly lazy, and have no intention of working.
... and you expect to make money?

the only way you can make money is through criminality of one sort or another.
something has to give, either you suck it up and take a crappy job for crappy pay or you continue leeching off of someone at their behest.

Actually now that I think of it there are ways to make money.

Telemarketing and customer service.
The jobs will suck and pay very little but it also requires no other skill than the ability to read and talk to people.

Wait - you don't go out and look for a job, you're admitedly lazy, and now you're upset because the gov't denied your request to leach off of welfare???

Cry me a river. I hate going to work everyday - but I do it because that's what you do to make money and live decently. Life is hard, and even harder for people who make stupid decisions or are lazy.

Go down to your local employment/welfare office and ask to speak with somebody that can get you a job. Or go to a church or go to a social worker or etc.

A job is not going to magically come to you - you get out what you put in - if you don't search for a job, you're probably not going to get a job.

And if you're lazy or use your disease as an 'excuse', you'll get no sympathy from me. You're not the only person in the world that's bi polar afterall, and most of these people (as hard as it may be) still struggle everyday balancing their disease, family lives and jobs.

I don't mean to sound like an ***, but one of my pet peeves is people who are lazy and would rather live off of welfare/social security than go out and get a job.

I know. I sound horrible. I'm not asking for sympathy, or using mental problems as an excuse, I'm looking how to get out of this rut and make a decision.

The negitive responses to my post makes me feel embarrassed about who I have become. No one likes someone who feeds off of people like a leech. I am so FEARFUL of life itself. I don't drive a car because I can't get around town myself since I can't remember directions. I'm afraid of going out of the house by myself because I'll get lost. I had a problem with drugs and have been clean for 10 months. I go with my BF to NA/AA meetings.

Since 1995 I've lived with a series of BF's and they have taken care of me financially. Since I wasn't responsible for myself, I broke up with one BF and I became homeless, going from shelter to shelter, slept outside in the rain and inclement wheather, went around with street people who I knew were NOT the people I wanted to be around. I'm very nieive so I was usually duped by street people. I was never a criminal, just co-dependant on men and afraid of hard work sadly enough.

My job history. I worked as a cashier in a supermarket, telemarketer, waitress, dental assistant and go-go dancer. I went to school for computer programming and found out this subject was WAY TOO DIFFICULT for me and was a bad choice to enroll since I had other classmates do my tests for me to pass.

So I'm at an impasse in life right now at 35 years old. I don't want to be stuck at mcdonald's at my age. I have fears that are getting in the way of making decisions and making progress. My BF tells me I don't have to work when he's in a good mood but when we argue, he throws it in my face that I am not working.

If i had my druthers I would be interested in web design. However, anything I try to do, i have a hard time keeping focused and concentrating. i also don't learn new things quickly.

How do you make a decision when you aren't GOOD at anything?
So how do you make a decision when you have no direction???

No direction is good....it means your not only travelling one way and are open to serendipity.

No one is not "good at anything" it just means they haven't found what they're good at yet.

If you're open to anything and not sure what you're good at you're free to try anything you want...whatever comes up.

Your bf keeps you....so you can do things that don't pay.....and maybe get yourself into places where new workmates might help you out if your bf kicks you out.

Time to get out and about and work on the other side of the counter in the shelters and soup kitchens...looking your other life squarely in the eye and saying you'll never be there again.

Its not the job you do..its the people your with

no clothes, job, money, etc...BUT, you have a computer! ummmm...smells like a largemouth bass story to me!

no clothes, job, money, etc...BUT, you have a computer! ummmm...smells like a largemouth bass story to me!


.

Well she does live with her bf. Maybe it’s his computer.



But anyway, cyberspacestar ~even if your bf tells you don’t have to work one day, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make something of your self.

I was in the same situation as you. Living with my bf, not doing anything with my life and he was working hard every day supporting us.

I have to tell you, I was not happy. I was angry all the time, moody.

God, you have to get out and do something for your own sanity.


You have way too many excuses. Being ADD I know that feeling of failure, and how it becomes a chronic fear of failing. I to have been fired from every job I have ever had!


Every since I have been on adderall things have slowly taken a turn, I am going into my second year of college and managed to maintain a 3.8!



You don’t need disability to get medical help. Go apply for acchess. If you tell them you are homeless (which you might as well be at this point) and that you don’t have a job, they help you out pretty fast.


You have to want these things. I understand the lack of motivation and drive....That is me to! Seriously I almost forget how hard it was for me before meds.


Good Luck with everything. Try not to burn this bridge with your boyfriend, he sounds like he cares a lot about you. But there is only so much a person can give before they are emotionally and financially drained. In all fairness you are taking advantage of the situation. I don’t doubt you have issues, but that doesn’t change the fact that your bf if carrying the burden.

I put my bf through the same thing for to long, so im not being judgemental just real.

bumblebe, I sent you a PM(I didn't read your whole post before sending you a PM, so I guess my question was answered! :)). You are right, the boyfriend probably has a computer.

I don't think she is faking, Cameron.

Many poor people make frequent use of free Internet access computers at the Public Libraries, etc.

I'll chalk up the jumping to conclusions as being "ADHD IMPULSIVITY", rather than intended rudeness. Verbal impulsivity can be a problem for many of us... <G>

It happens to all of us, sooner or later... [open mouth, insert other foot, etc.]

had a problem with drugs and have been clean for 10 months. I go with my BF to NA/AA meetings.Congratulations!



So I'm at an impasse in life right now at 35 years old. I don't want to be stuck at mcdonald's at my age.:confused: Someone I know who was new to the community was working two jobs until she could get a permanent position in the job she liked best. In an interview for a permanent position, one of the panel asked why she was working at WalMart. Her response was, "I like to eat."

If i had my druthers I would be interested in web design.If you feel that computer programming was way too difficult for you, is this even worth considering?

How do you make a decision when you aren't GOOD at anything?You are thirty-five years old. Write a list of things you are even vaguely "good" at. It might surprise you.

re: mean posts

I am wondering if you call yourself "Lazy" (which ****ed some people off upon reading), b/c it is easier to think of yourself that way, than face that fact that you have BIG problems and want to feel some control over them.

At least if you say you are "lazy", it implies "choice" to be "lazy". [Gives you the illusion of power.] It can be easier that admitting you are out of control over your life at present, disorganized and messed up...

Versus the sad reality that many of us have: not knowing why we can't organize, plan and see the bigger picture in life (trees vs. forest) and be more goal focused. (e.g. the ADD symptoms)

re: McDonald's jobs

I don't know that you (or I) could succeed at a McDonald's jobs.

These Jobs require a lot of skill in Executive Function, mental coordination, frustration and working memory.

ADHD people are impaired in these areas, often...

Don't worry: I can't "make a Sub 'the Subway way'," either. Honestly? I can't remember multiple orders. But I can get college completed. You must have strengths somewhere: Testing will show where your skills are strong!

-------------

ADD people spend too much time IGNORING their strengths and working in areas where they're FIGHTING their weaknesses. (You said that waitressing didn't work out.)


NB. some of the hardest, most emotionally/interpersonally demanding and physically exhausting jobs, are the ones a person is paid the least for....

you could possible move into an oxford house, start off with a part time job, something simple, It sounds like you realy need to get a job out side your home. Go to some AA meeting are something.

Thank you for your posts.. Yes, this IS my BF's computer. I stay at home all day in the apartment. Since I was homeless for so long and in the streets, staying inside watching a flat screen Hi-Def TV and being online is a safehaven. Now it's been 8 months since i've had a place to stay and the one thing I have been learning are the bible scriptures. The scriptures and bible study teaches me how to live everyday the RIGHT way. I am very greatful to my BF and to some divine intervention that helped me out of homelessness.
(I'm not some bible-thumper by any means, just need the right guidence.)

The night I met my BF while homeless, i was going to walk into a bar across the street from an Narcotics Anonymous meeting. I was frustrated that night about something. Instead, i did the RIGHT thing and walked into the meeting where he and I shared about the same exact thing! He approched me after the meeting and told me i could live with him. What i learned from that night was if you conduct yourself appropriately, positivley and do the right thing, only good things follow. Law of nature.

Bumblebe, thank you for reaching out to me with you long response.. I can't believe there is someone else who can relate. What is acchess??

I need to get on medication!! However, I've taken ritilian, strattera, rispadol.. I think a few others i can't remember. Should I go to Welfare and get medicade so i can get back on meds? In the hospital, they put me on strattera which didn't work for me. They wouldn't put me on adderal or ritilan because I was a recovering addict. I took ritialin and it worked for me a while back but they wouldn't put me on it!! I would like to try adderal! Nothing else seems to work so I can keep focused and think clearly!

What do you guys do for a living? How about those work at home jobs?

well, your not stupid! Your ability to form a sentence, and type, is impressive. Now, time to get a job!

Bumblebe, thank you for reaching out to me with you long response.. I can't believe there is someone else who can relate. What is acchess??

Hi cyberspacestar :)
I live in Arizona, AHCCCS (I spelled it wrong before, sorry) is welfare.

You can download an application off the internet and print it out.

Try looking up

-Department of Economic Security-

You will find an office close to you, go there with your application and they will help you with the rest.

I know the meds issue really holds some people back from getting the help they need.

I never used any type of drug until I was 22. I was self medicating, I was tired of walking through life in a fog, and not having a clear image on anything, the first time I tried meth I felt "normal" I felt sober and clear minded. I was in love. It wasn’t until years later that I was diagnosed with ADD. My Dr put me on adderall and I have been clean since.

What state do you live in?

My Dr will only allow me to take adderall as long as I am apart of a drug abuse program. I go to a substance abuse class 3 nights a week, plus regular one on one session with a counselor who specializes in addiction. I also go to AA meetings because I love the support I get.

Are you still going to meetings? Did you know they have AA meetings on the internet now? I thought that was kind of cool.

Dear Cyberspacestar,

Most people work. Most people who work do that because they need the money. Did you notice that this is an entire ADD board, and that lots of people have problems with 'laziness' and lack of motivation, inattention, etc.. just like you. I'm not saying we are all homeless etc... but.... most of US have jobs.

Some of us have jobs we like, some of us have jobs we hate. Some people are in career jobs. Some people LIKE to get up in the morning and go to work, whether it's a "work" job or a "career" job. Other people DONT like to get up in the morning and go to work.

Some people find their job challenging and stimulating. Others find it boring, and there are many things they would rather be doing. But they know that they can't afford to do those other things they would rather be doing, because they need to eat and have a house and clothes, and be responsible for themselves.

Some people work 9 - 5, others work nights, or shift work, or just a few hours a day. Some people work Monday to Friday, others work weekends too, others work part time - just a few days a week.

So maybe you need to go and find a job, any job, that will pay you money. Ask to work even just one day a week - that is a start. Even if you only work a few hours and only earn $50.

And seriously... get out of this guy's house, it can't be good for you. How long have you known him? Why are you living with him? What is his motive for keeping you there???? What does he want from you?? It just doesn't sound right to me.

Some things you can't change - like what you've been doing for the past 14 (??) years since you left school. Other things you CAN CHANGE and you DO HAVE CONTROL OVER... like going out and finding a job, and sticking with it, and working to earn money.

CHOOSE to find a job, to make yourself money, so you can buy stuff like food and clothes
CHOOSE to move out of this guy's house, and find somewhere to rent - you just need a tiny little place on your own like a 1 bedroom tiny apartment, or maybe even a rental share.
CHOOSE to act now, act today.

Realise that if you do it tomorrow you will never do it, because tomorrow is the only day that never comes.

I care about people - so I hope that you do something right now.

Go, right now, get dressed, go down to your local shop, and ask them for a job. If they say they have nothing open, try the shop next door, and the next one, and the next one...

Your job right now is to find a job.

You know what you have to do.

You are in an abusive situation, obviously, and that makes Bipolar worse, and raises your chances of relapsing and needing to be hospitalized.

By all means, let's demonize the boyfriend who provides free food and shelter as an "abuser."

By all means, let's demonize the boyfriend who provides free food and shelter as an "abuser."If the "free food and shelter" create an unequal balance of power thus controlling the behaviour of the recipient, yes, it is abuse.

Going into rages and threatening to kick her out when she is shelter ineligible and cannot work due to be LD/ADHD/bipolar and untreated sounds abusive.

People with disabilities are among some of the most abused people in the world.

e.g. Even 'conditions' like pregnancy (makes one vulnerable), are boosting a women's chance of succumbing to the #2 cause of death for pregnant women: Homicide.

I guess a lot of people are in denial about what constitutes abusive behaviour.

Well, abusive behaviour is usually learned. These forums are a good place to learn what abuse is; lots of experienced people here.

re: McDonald's jobs

I don't know that you (or I) could succeed at a McDonald's jobs.

These Jobs require a lot of skill in Executive Function, mental coordination, frustration and working memory.

ADHD people are impaired in these areas, often...

Don't worry: I can't "make a Sub 'the Subway way'," either. Honestly? I can't remember multiple orders. But I can get college completed. You must have strengths somewhere: Testing will show where your skills are strong!

-------------

ADD people spend too much time IGNORING their strengths and working in areas where they're FIGHTING their weaknesses. (You said that waitressing didn't work out.)


NB. some of the hardest, most emotionally/interpersonally demanding and physically exhausting jobs, are the ones a person is paid the least for....Isnt that the truth, I held a McJob for two years and it was 'painful'

Back on topic, I can relate in some way to what you are going through. I wasted 10 years of my life, the majority being unemployed. Like you I had someone to support me (my family). Also like you, I had a history of mental illness and severe anxiety. Also, I will admit I was lazy as well. The jobs I did have I got fired from within one to three months (just look for my previous posts on this forum).

Two years ago i reached an epiphany. I saw most of my friends, some who had new cars and were making $20+ an hour and realized that I had to start changing the way I thought about everything, NOW! The first year of that period, I realized how NOT to hold down a job. However, at the beginning of the second year, I moved and in four short months I managed to find a job that I still hold to this day.

I admit I have mostly skimmed your posts but the impression that I am getting is that you really want to change. That is not enough, you have to get yourself to a point where you feel you HAVE to change. Have you reached that point yet? Only you know the answer to that question. A lot of people here have given excellent advice, and I will give a bit more. Have you looked into volunteering at all? Most charity organizations desperately need volunteers and I have found its a great way to get experience without the pressure of holding a job. Best of all it gets you out of the house, allows you to make networking contacts, and it looks great on a resume! Then, when your confidence has improved, look for a part time job, any part time job, then gradually work your way to full time.

I will not kid you, it will be hard work to pull yourself up from this slump. You are going to have setbacks, and you are going to feel like absolute crap some days. But consider the alternative, do you really want to be on welfare or homeless when you are 40? What about 50? I didn't think so.