My 8 year old has been having separation anxiety from me. It started a few months ago and has at times gotten worse.:confused:

I am a SAHM for the reason of his disabilities; since he was 5 yrs., prior to that I only worked part-time. A few months ago it started, with him not wanting to leave me and go to school; he is always wanting to know where I am. Even around the house, he will frantically call out "Mom! Mom!" (You would think from hearing the fear in his voice that he has lost me in a public place or something). I can't even go out and work in my flowers, right outside the window.

If I leave him overnight at his grandparents, he is OK until bed time.....then the cries and "I want my Mommy" starts all over again.

**But today was the worst it has been:( I was to meet my parents and he was to go to the lake with them for the weekend. We were to join them in a few days....giving hubby and I a weekend home alone (we are motor-cross racing every weekend across 6 states for our son all spring/summer/fall). He was really quiet all day (almost depressed), he was looking forward to going to camp and fishing. When I met my parents he had an anxiety attack; cried, hives, hyperventalating. To make a long story short.....after the storm subsided he ended up not going. Daddy was not happy; my son wanted to go but was torn, he didn't want to leave mommy. I had even told him I would come up in 2 days to visit and spend the night, cutting the time in half. He was so worked up, what a mess.:(

When my hubby got home, he refused to let him get his way and be home. At this point I had talked him into letting me take him up tomorrow morning (2 hour drive up). So anyway, they left...as I type they are on their way. He didn't get his way, however I understand he has issues with anxiety. I think Dad needs to drop him off from now on when it is for more than one night. He doesn't act like this for Daddy.:confused:

What do I do? He wanted to go, but hates to leave mom. I explained that sometimes Moms need breaks. He loves being with my parents, this has never been this bad of an issue EVER!

His doctor is aware and we may start Risperdal in a few weeks.:confused:

Sorry so long.......any thoughts??

It's normal for kids to want their parents. he does need to grow out of it. it is probably because he was around you a lot when he was younger and he was not around many other people

It's normal for kids to want their parents. he does need to grow out of it. it is probably because he was around you a lot when he was younger and he was not around many other peopleI agree completely. He's too attached - you need to put him out there away from you, so he can get some self-confidence in his OWN abilities. It's like the saying goes - the baby birds won't learn to fly if the mother doesn't push them out of the nest every now and then;).

He needs to learn to be able to go out on his own in this big world.;)

While you are trying to increase his independence, watch for signs of worsening anxiety. Im my youngest, it manifested as anger and rage with self mutilation and wanting to die. We worked at finding the roots of the anxiety and added risperdal. She is doing great now.

I totally understand what you are all saying about "pushing him out of the nest", which I have. It is only recently that his separation anxiety has peaked to this level.

On occasion in the past, he would cry for me now and again when tired at night. It appears that lately his anxiety has increased. I am torn.....I want him to be independent and confident. However....I fear that if I ignore his anxiety needs I am not supporting him.

Does that make sense? I want him to work through his anxiety and realize it will be OK, but I do not want to cause more anxiety and not address the issues.

I feel as though I am damned if I do and damned if I don't!!

He is at camp now for 4 nights/days without us, this will be good for him.

Risperdal will more than likely be added; we really can't increase his Strattera due to his weight (8 yrs. 67lbs.).

Thanks for the replies and making me realize that I did the right thing by letting hubby take him to camp. I just couldn't send him off with the grandparents having an anxiety attack.....it was more of a situation that they were not ready or able to handle. My mom is recovering from a long battle of breast cancer......she does not have the emotional strength to deal.

I am so emotional drained from dealing with my son!!!!

Do any of you feel totally emotionally drained from dealing with our needy children?

There were times I thought we would never get releif from the issues we were facing. They were getting worse on a daily basis and I had a 9 year old that wanted to die, and raged, and was totally failing school. We were in crisis. I did not think we would make it and was exhausted.

Once we got diagnosis and proper treatment, things got much better. It was managable and not so scary. We have had other issues with the anxiety come up, but they are less urgent (we recognize them earlier and can act before we get to crisis) and managable. She is getting good grades in school, is starting to like school, is making and keeping friends, and is happy, fun and loving. I now feel we (my daughter, my hubby, me and the psychiatrist) can manage anything that come up.

You will get through this and it will get better. Take care of yourself through this as well.

Thanks for the cheerful wishes!;)

Yes....I agree, things always get better. When dealing with children like ours it sometimes feels like we are always dealing with something.

When my husband told him that he may not be able to go motor-cross racing next weekend, because he was acting this way on our weekend to be alone- if he can not give us time to do what we want then he cannot expect us to do the same for him. WoW- that hit home for him!! He was ready to go and never cried about it.

I just got off the phone with my mom and he is doing fine, every once in a while he will complain that he misses me. I did not talk to him on the phone....I know if he heard my voice he would get emotional.

We meet with his psychiatrist on Friday, we will address this. I do have to admit that he has come a long way.....he is so much better now than he was just a year ago. My husband and I put 110% into his daily routine/programming....it is sooooo exhausting!!!!

I am enjoying my time away from him and miss him like crazy all at the same time!!!!!

Sportbikechic, I hope you report back to us what your son's psychiatrist suggests to ease your son's anxiety.

When I was a kid, I used to have seperation anxiety bad, for a while. But it was only for school. My older sister literally had to drag me out of the car to get me in school :eek: Although I never got a psychiatrist to help with this problem. Then again, I didn't outgrow it until I was 10!

Like Imnapl, I'd like to hear what the psychiatrist says too.