I've been to a psychiatrist, and he seems just about convinced that I have a another disorder besides, just ADD. A minor bipolar disorder.

My moods change like the seasons. It could be cloudy one day, and then I feel good the next... (For example, I felt pretty hyper today, that I thought I could actually get myself into trouble if I didn't calm myself! I think I"m a pretty self contained person though... If I"m so self-contained, does that mean I don't have a lighter side bipolar disorder?? )

I usually only write about my feelings when I"m feeling really depressed, and less frequently, when I'm feeling good.

But how does these mood changes co-exist with being ADD?

I dunno, maybe it's because I might strongly be ADD that recently, I've been having these thoughts running through my mind, that I'm just making all these moods up.

Like, "Your mood is just changing because you THINK you're bipolar! and it's just adding on to your symptoms (which were probably never really there!"

So, I look through my diary, and the only diary I have right now is my diary that I made a year ago. The other 2~3 diaries that I wrote in basically every page from when I was in 5th! grade, I through away...
It was during one of those low periods, and I felt like by reading through my diary, it's just affecting my low moods and making me worse.

But, I realize, I've been going through this kind of depression and mood changes since I was much much younger...

But why, why do I notice it only now?

Why hasn't anyone else said anything to me about these mood shifts?

By the way, when one is depressed don't they think alot anyway? Could I truly be ADD? How do you distinguish ADD and Bipolar when it's very much the same...

That's a question to ask the doctor next week...

Is there anyone who has these thoughts running through their mind asking if they are truly bipolar/ADD or actually just making it all up? :confused:

Maybe it's just me...

Well first off...Welcome Welcome Welcome to ADDF butterfly!

I was dx with ADD at the age of 24. I did well on meds, but there was always something else lurking. They dx me with mild clinical depression about a year later. I was on a few drugs for depression but nothing really ever stabled me out. Then I had a second family and bounced around in chaos.

It was not until last year (12 years later) that I started have long episodes of depression, sleeping entire weekends away. My aggitation and anger episodes worsened, and then the hypomania kicked in and I was finding myself in a pattern of staying up 2 days in a row, going to work, the 3rd night I would get about 4 hours of sleep and by the 4th day I was flat out. Then it would start all over again. Then I started screwing up my money, and keep in mind I am a miser. I bought a house and car within a month of each other...could not afford either, still can't ....and my finances are in shambles after that. For someone who loved to sleep and kept finances in check...this made me realize something more than ADD was going on.

I tracked it for a couple of weeks, and saw a clear pattern. I made an appointment and received my diagnoses. ON my paperwork it says
Cyclothymia/BipolarII. I am def a rapid cycler, and it's not uncommon for me to change moods to manic to depressed in the same day.

When I talked to my physc dr, I asked him if he thought that my ADD/depression was a misdiagnoses of the BipolarII? He said he didn't know...they run together and it's hard to determine the difference sometimes.
So he he started me on the starter pack for Lamictal. He said if you are not bipolar your symptorms will get very bad in the first week. If not you should notice some differencs even as early as the first couple of weeks. He said then once you are level we can try the Adderall again and see what works?

So that is what I did. And the first 2 weeks I noticed a difference...and it's gotten better since then. I did what he said and started the Adderall for the ADD about a month and a half after being on the Lamictal. I felt more ADD once I got leveld out for Bipolar...and the Adderall worked good, I just cut my regular dose in 1/2.

For me it was not a far strectch to believe the 2 existed in me. I have family that has just ADD & family that has Bipolar & ADD. This was helpful.

As far as the thoughts, I don't much remember thinking about if I was bipolar or ADD. I just remember panicking because something was very wrong. Once I got the dianoses, I was relieved to have an answer to the chaos in my life. I think I always suspected it, but dind't want to face it. I was never ashamed of ADD or really questioned it. I did go through a hard time facing the fact I had Bipolar due to societies views. But I am happier now, and advocate for myself and my 15 year old son, who also has both.

Hypomania symptoms are very close to ADD symptoms the difference is the serverity. Only your doctor can make the determination as you said.
I don't know anyone who would want to make up having it? God I wish I could pretend I didn't. If you have the sypmtoms, and it's cause havoc in your life, then you have it, and now you begin the journey of finding what works for you. But in every case I know if you have both, which again is common, you should be treated for the Bipolar first, it's much more severe and damaging.
Hang in there, keep coming here for support and help. We are happy to welcome more people to our "Cycling" Club!

Hope :)

Thank you very much for your response! I'm gonna go to the psychiatrist tomorrow and see if I can find out if I'm truly ADD with mild bipolar...
I hope that I can find an answer and a way to make my symptoms better!
It's nice to get feedback so, I'll continue updating the ADDF on what's going on with me... Thanks for everything!

You are so very welcome Butterfly!
I hope all goes well at the docs tomorrw. Just don't let the diagnoses put you in a box. It might be hard to handle in the beginning and I think most people who get a diagnoses especially something that society views are extreme or equates with being a nut case, is hard. We seem to go through similiar cycles. First the relief of the diagnoses, then comes the anger, then the grief...then you have the decision to make, which is to get off your butt and face it head on, or lay there and let it control you. It's sad to say so many people take the easy way out and let it continue to control thier lives. I can tell you, I did it unknowingly for years, I never ever want to go back!

Good luck! We will be here when you get back!

Hope :)

Thank you so much!!
So I just came from the doctor, and we came to decision to treat the ADD first.
The reason is because, right now, my mood is just starting to get better, and I think that even if I started medication for stabilizing the mood, it wouldn't be much help moment in time. Concentration seems to be the important issue at this time...
So, I hope it's a good decision...