mickn66
07-09-07, 04:13 PM
I apologize for the rambling, lengthy nature of the following post. If you guys are anything like me, reading the whole thing will not be easy :)
I'm 40 years old.
I have suspected I might have ADD for a while now, as I have had serious problems concentrating and focusing for a long time. However, I never took it too seriously as I was never diagnosed as having ADD as a kid, and, although I remember some problems with “excessive energy” I certainly wasn’t anything like the few hyperactive kids I’ve known. Also my dad is a psychiatrist and he never thought I had it. I’m really hoping that I actually do have it because a) that would help explain why I have so much trouble career-wise and why I have such trouble concentrating and focusing and b) it means possibly I could get help – the idea the medication might make it easier for me to concentrate and focus is very enticing. I saw a psychiatrist for the first time last week and she suggested I might have ADD without any prompting from me. I don’t have another appointment with her until next week, and in the mean time I have been reading up on the symptoms, including a bunch of materials she gave me, and the only conclusion I can come to is “maybe.”
I’ve had a problem concentrating and focusing for as long as I can remember. No matter what I’m doing, watching tv, talking to someone, reading, my mind drifts off into some imaginary conversation between me and, oh anyone. Even when I catch it happening and re-assert my attention to the proper thing, it happens again right away. I never thought of myself as “hyper” as a kid, but I do remember lying in bed at night with some unexplained “excess energy” – leading me to hold my arms up and let them “vibrate” till I got too tired to hold them up, just to help burn off this energy I had so I could sleep. But it was not a major problem and I never even told anyone about it. I still do it. Also, I learned to play the piano very young, and I always thought one reason I was able to play as “fast” as I did is I had a lot of nervous energy in my hands. Again, not something I ever thought to complain about.
I read through my old report cards the other day. Some of the very earliest, from around 5<SUP>th</SUP> grade, mention a problem drifting off and not paying attention, but for the most part my reports didn’t harp on that. In fact, most of my reports say I was a good contributor to class discussions (though an underachiever overall). Instead there was a constant theme regarding my lack of organization. The only comments that were as prevalent as the lack of organization were comments about my lack of effort, how I was not trying hard enough, and how it was up to me how I did, if only I applied myself, etc. I had always thought the reason I lacked effort was because school was very easy for me the first few years – I was pretty far ahead of almost everyone else, and ended up going to a “gifted and talented” program at a different school in 5<SUP>th</SUP> grade. That was the first time I was challenged, and by then I was so used to things being so easy that I had established a habit of always putting everything off till the last possible moment – a problem I still have.
My room/apartment has always been a disaster, since I was a kid. I constantly lose things. I’ve been told multiple times I have the messiest room so-and-so has ever seen.
My main problem now is difficulty concentrating and focusing and getting anything done. I have a zillion projects started and almost none finished – I’m talking about half-recorded (original) music, half completed screenplays, half completed software programs, and a lot more. Quite a lot of it is “almost” finished but to finish it now would be a major undertaking because of all the work I’d have to do just to figure out where I left off and what I was doing.
Reasons I don’t think I have ADD: My dad, the psychiatrist, didn’t notice it as I grew up. I do not have any specific memories of not being able to concentrate as a kid (though it was mentioned in a couple of early report cards). I never thought of myself as hyperactive. Although I do have some hyperactive-like symptoms now, such as an annoying excess of energy that causes me to pull my hair, wring my hands, rub my legs, etc., these feel more like a response to anxiety over work. Also, because I ‘want” to be diagnosed with ADD so I can give the medication (and other therapy) a shot, I’m afraid this may subconsciously be causing me to find ADD-like symptoms when they aren’t really there. I’ve heard to have ADD you must have had the symptoms by age 7. I don’t remember having any particular problems by that age.
Reasons I do think I have ADD: the problem concentrating goes back a long time (but to age 7? Not sure about that!). My life has been marked with a shocking failure to get anywhere in the areas that matter most to me. I’ve never been able to keep my room or office at all organized. My “hyperactive” symptoms are definetely real now – in addition to what I mentioned above I also have been a habitual knuckle-cracker for god-knows how long. Right now I have an almost uncontrollable urge to smack my hands together, to stretch them or burn off energy some other way. Not doing so is incredibly annoying. I am never able to remain focused on one thing long enough to get it done. I typically have to come back to it, which often causes me to repeat a lot of work.
I do get frustrated easily - especially at my computer when it is acting up or at the world when I am stuck in traffic - but I've never "acted out" from these frustrations. Usually I'll just yell some obscenity in my mind and move on.
I'm not sure I've put everything here, but anyone who has read this far has gone above and beyond the call of duty and I don't want to add any more burden to anyone! I guess I won't know whether or not I have ADD until I've had some more sessions with my doctor and maybe tried the medication. I've done a bunch of those online tests that are floating around out there, and the results are always borderline - sometimes they say my symptoms are consistent with ADD, sometimes they say they are not. Anyway, I'd love to hear any comments anyone might have. My problems getting anywhere in life, my inability to move forward on my various goals, are very real problems for me and I'm getting desperate about solving them. Thanks for reading this long mess any any thoughts would be appreciated!
Mick
I'm 40 years old.
I have suspected I might have ADD for a while now, as I have had serious problems concentrating and focusing for a long time. However, I never took it too seriously as I was never diagnosed as having ADD as a kid, and, although I remember some problems with “excessive energy” I certainly wasn’t anything like the few hyperactive kids I’ve known. Also my dad is a psychiatrist and he never thought I had it. I’m really hoping that I actually do have it because a) that would help explain why I have so much trouble career-wise and why I have such trouble concentrating and focusing and b) it means possibly I could get help – the idea the medication might make it easier for me to concentrate and focus is very enticing. I saw a psychiatrist for the first time last week and she suggested I might have ADD without any prompting from me. I don’t have another appointment with her until next week, and in the mean time I have been reading up on the symptoms, including a bunch of materials she gave me, and the only conclusion I can come to is “maybe.”
I’ve had a problem concentrating and focusing for as long as I can remember. No matter what I’m doing, watching tv, talking to someone, reading, my mind drifts off into some imaginary conversation between me and, oh anyone. Even when I catch it happening and re-assert my attention to the proper thing, it happens again right away. I never thought of myself as “hyper” as a kid, but I do remember lying in bed at night with some unexplained “excess energy” – leading me to hold my arms up and let them “vibrate” till I got too tired to hold them up, just to help burn off this energy I had so I could sleep. But it was not a major problem and I never even told anyone about it. I still do it. Also, I learned to play the piano very young, and I always thought one reason I was able to play as “fast” as I did is I had a lot of nervous energy in my hands. Again, not something I ever thought to complain about.
I read through my old report cards the other day. Some of the very earliest, from around 5<SUP>th</SUP> grade, mention a problem drifting off and not paying attention, but for the most part my reports didn’t harp on that. In fact, most of my reports say I was a good contributor to class discussions (though an underachiever overall). Instead there was a constant theme regarding my lack of organization. The only comments that were as prevalent as the lack of organization were comments about my lack of effort, how I was not trying hard enough, and how it was up to me how I did, if only I applied myself, etc. I had always thought the reason I lacked effort was because school was very easy for me the first few years – I was pretty far ahead of almost everyone else, and ended up going to a “gifted and talented” program at a different school in 5<SUP>th</SUP> grade. That was the first time I was challenged, and by then I was so used to things being so easy that I had established a habit of always putting everything off till the last possible moment – a problem I still have.
My room/apartment has always been a disaster, since I was a kid. I constantly lose things. I’ve been told multiple times I have the messiest room so-and-so has ever seen.
My main problem now is difficulty concentrating and focusing and getting anything done. I have a zillion projects started and almost none finished – I’m talking about half-recorded (original) music, half completed screenplays, half completed software programs, and a lot more. Quite a lot of it is “almost” finished but to finish it now would be a major undertaking because of all the work I’d have to do just to figure out where I left off and what I was doing.
Reasons I don’t think I have ADD: My dad, the psychiatrist, didn’t notice it as I grew up. I do not have any specific memories of not being able to concentrate as a kid (though it was mentioned in a couple of early report cards). I never thought of myself as hyperactive. Although I do have some hyperactive-like symptoms now, such as an annoying excess of energy that causes me to pull my hair, wring my hands, rub my legs, etc., these feel more like a response to anxiety over work. Also, because I ‘want” to be diagnosed with ADD so I can give the medication (and other therapy) a shot, I’m afraid this may subconsciously be causing me to find ADD-like symptoms when they aren’t really there. I’ve heard to have ADD you must have had the symptoms by age 7. I don’t remember having any particular problems by that age.
Reasons I do think I have ADD: the problem concentrating goes back a long time (but to age 7? Not sure about that!). My life has been marked with a shocking failure to get anywhere in the areas that matter most to me. I’ve never been able to keep my room or office at all organized. My “hyperactive” symptoms are definetely real now – in addition to what I mentioned above I also have been a habitual knuckle-cracker for god-knows how long. Right now I have an almost uncontrollable urge to smack my hands together, to stretch them or burn off energy some other way. Not doing so is incredibly annoying. I am never able to remain focused on one thing long enough to get it done. I typically have to come back to it, which often causes me to repeat a lot of work.
I do get frustrated easily - especially at my computer when it is acting up or at the world when I am stuck in traffic - but I've never "acted out" from these frustrations. Usually I'll just yell some obscenity in my mind and move on.
I'm not sure I've put everything here, but anyone who has read this far has gone above and beyond the call of duty and I don't want to add any more burden to anyone! I guess I won't know whether or not I have ADD until I've had some more sessions with my doctor and maybe tried the medication. I've done a bunch of those online tests that are floating around out there, and the results are always borderline - sometimes they say my symptoms are consistent with ADD, sometimes they say they are not. Anyway, I'd love to hear any comments anyone might have. My problems getting anywhere in life, my inability to move forward on my various goals, are very real problems for me and I'm getting desperate about solving them. Thanks for reading this long mess any any thoughts would be appreciated!
Mick