OMG not sure where to start as im very upset.. my son is on EQUASYM XL and has been for over 8 months he was on ritalin but this did not last the day he is only six and my other sons are 16 and 15 and are great the 16 year old is in the army and loves it

my son who is on EQUASYM XL makes me very sad he is on any medication... we have been to all the schools and even sent him to a private school and they could not handle him until this school took him on which is only a few miles down the road.

over the months he came home with very bad language which upset my wife and myself the problem is that other children are older and him and i guess they poison him.

anyway going back to friday my wife had a call from the social services asking to see her right away as my son had said some sexual words


my wife called me in work and told me... i said dont worrie this is normal.... what happen was this:-

my son told his teachers that a daddy clown dresses in a clown suit and chase's him around the bed room and then sticks his finger up his bum and licks it. he is obsess with his bum poo and wee

he told his teachers that daddy clown is me his dad OMG what is this child doing to me..

Now the social services told my wife he would be taken into care... my wife beg them not to take him and they agreed only if he went to his grandparents well this left me so devasteted.... i feel ill. that my son would say these things... i love him so much i have never laid a hand on him even when he scratch my new car and boy it was a scratch he is a daddy's boy wont leave my side wants to go everywhare with me i even take him to work with me.

Now the police want to see me and the social services i feel i want to die.

i was in the army and a deepsea diver for many years and never been in this situation ever

since he has been takening EQUASYM XL he dreams a lot and has a very vivid imagination he did ask me over a week ago dad are you a daddy clown? i said what is that and i walked away it went over my head as he comes out with all sorts....


in a nut shell my son and EQUASYM XL has cause unessery anxieties my wife is crying my others sons are upset im upset my dad my mum the list is endless

since my son was 3 he has been a nitemare i have aged and feel there is no end to it

Has anyone had this bad experience i hope not would not wish this on anyone


Deepsea

Hi Deepsea,

I feel so sorry for you and your family. I have seen first hand what devestation to a family can happen at the hands of a child who tells tales and then doesn't know when to tell the truth. I hope that your son will tell whomever interviews him that this is not true. I think that your best bet is to simply cooperate and the charges will be unfounded. Your son must be getting these things from somewhere. He is only 6 (but does he hang around older children like his brothers), and does he watch TV that might be inappropriate for him. I would talk with his counselor if you can - perhaps the therapist is aware of his fascination with bodily functions, etc..

I don't know what else to tell you, other than to get a lawyer. I would also have your wife talk with his doctor to see about getting him off this medicine if you think that it has anything to do with what is going on now with your family.

My best wishes,

At Heart

Thanks heart for your kind reply

To put you in the picture my son now attends a school that deals with children

With ADHD

His class of only 8 range from ages 6 to 12
Since he has been going to this school he comes home with very bad language which makes my wife cry



We never say bad language in front of him I m not perfect but know when children are around me and know how to conduct myself
i guess he gets it from these other children and this saddens me
We try and bring our son up as best as we can. You can’t rap them up in cotton wool but we do our best to keep him away from any violence or bad language
Does not know what a burger is!! Or coke cola



Today he came home and asks my wife can he go to the loo and can you wipe his bottom
Which she did then he said do want to kiss my bottom my wife so no do you want to suck my willy… well she went off on one she called me and I was very un happy about this behavior and told him off
I told my wife we need to report this to his head master as this is coming from his class room.

Because now the social services are now looking into me with a magnifying glass cos they think I m a daddy clown I think I must report everything he says
To be honest I m very upset I have even thought of leaving and never coming back. But I guess my son is not to blame but that school and I also feel that social services should visit that school and interview all his class mates.


Because they could be a child in his class that has a daddy clown who does visits him or her.
Mind you when my son was interview a few times he did change his story 5 times

That’s why the police don’t want to know.
My son said that he has 2000 daddies and they are all clowns who visit him in a Learjet omg

Heart

i also believe that his teachers acted to soon to call in the social services they should have study him first and maybe follow up the next day they did not even tell the social services he was on medication!!or was ADHD child just went in with a big hammer

This is a school that has no money for IT equipment so i donated new IT equipment to this school and they know me and met me why the hell did they do this to me and my wife.

we also had a lettter from the school to inform us that one of my son Teachers has left due to unforeseen circumstances Hmmm..
this was one of the teachers that called social services

sorry to harp on

Heart:-

He does not watch any TV that mite harm him in anyway only children’s TV no play station no game boy...he does like golf:)

This forum is great saw may others out there but full of goolge links well done

Deepsea

Today he came home and asks my wife can he go to the loo and can you wipe his bottomYour wife is still wiping his bottom? :confused:

Your wife is still wiping his bottom? :confused:
I dont have a problem with this he is only six and cos of his ADHD have been slow to mature

Deepsea,

What a HORRIFYING experience! How devastating! Do YOU have anyone that can support YOU through this nightmare? Gosh! This must be so difficult. But, as you said, you have done NOTHING wrong - and, in fact, have been a very generous father to your youngest son and to his school. So stay strong.

Perhaps if you MUST communicate with these "Social Services" people you could ask them where your family can find support in living with a child that has this type of disorder. They should KNOW that this type of situation could very well happen again and again. And perhaps (instead of being "The dreaded" Social Services) they might even be of HELP to your family.

I had to go through a similar situation. Fortunately it wasn't THAT bad since the person making the (FALSE) accusations about me wasn't my own child. However, it was terribly devastating for me at the time. What got me through it was the support and reassurance I received from my therapist at the time - and eventually from the counselor/case manager that was assigned to the case. (It was my ex who made the false accusations.) So as much as I felt as if I were living my worst nightmare - in the end, it all turned out for the better since I never would have believed my then husband would ever try to hurt me (never mind make up STORIES about me in an attempt to ???? I don't know what). I guess he never wanted our new baby after all but felt that he didn't want ME to have our child EITHER!!

Anyway - stay strong. The truth will prevail.

Sincerely,
Sue

I dont have a problem with this he is only six and cos of his ADHD have been slow to matureWho wipes his bum at school? Late toileting skills is not a symptom of ADHD, but is a symptom of some other disabilities. Does your son have another diagnosis with his ADHD? If not, I would suggest another assessment and soon. If there is something else going on, you may be able to get him and your family more help.

Who wipes his bum at school? Late toileting skills is not a symptom of ADHD, but is a symptom of some other disabilities. Does your son have another diagnosis with his ADHD? If not, I would suggest another assessment and soon. If there is something else going on, you may be able to get him and your family more help.



Now thats a good question who does... but he is always Constipation and does it in his pants sometimes :( then tell his mum he is sorry and she then has to wipe his bottom and tidy him up

i agree it is not ADHD that cause's the problem..but the medication he is on does:( it upsets me to see any child is on medication for what ever reason

i agree it is not ADHD that cause's the problem..but the medication he is on does:( it upsets me to see any child is on medication for what ever reasonConstipation is not listed as a side effect for methylphenidate. I've been taking Ritalin for eleven years so I have some experience with methylphenidate. What problems is the medication causing?

Deepsea when did this happen? Is everything o.k. with social services now?

Possibly someone else has been assaulting him? I have heard of cases where the abuser will name their hand someone else's name, or something. (e.g. Abusers can learn this from Chicken Porn; aka "how to trick children and prevent evidence" FAQ type information shared by such offenders.)

Gosh, adults in society just never knows what they are up against, with the charm and deceptions of such offenders. *sigh*

Your child can be helped thru play therapy. This will get to the bottom of things better than questions.

Kids will act this stuff out better behaviourally, than explaining it verbally. It is called Re-enactment.

(They may even assault others, trying to "show" what happened to them.)

If you are being accused of something: your Child deserves Assessment by a properly trained professional. (They often use anatomically correct dolls, etc.)

I read quite a bit about this in the book, The Unsayable: The Hidden Language of Trauma by Annie Rogers, PhD


http://www.amazon.ca/Unsayable-Hidden-Language-Trauma/dp/1400061954



You need to have your young son's problems figured out. Since this just started after him being around older boys, that seems suspect, doesn't it?


I recently read in a clinical reference Text on Sex Offenders that: 50% of child molesters are under the age of 18.

PS Most sex offenders are also Friends and Family (not the 'stranger danger' myth), as HARD as this is to accept.

It is well known that kids being abused or exposed to chronic stressors, will become Hyperactive and Defiant or (the opposite) 'Spacey' (Dissociated) and Withdrawn (possibly anxious). This could cause major school problems, yup.

You have older sons, too, right? I hate to say it: but all the males a kid is around have to be suspects. (98% of sex offenders are males.)

If you know you are not the offender, then who else has been alone with him? Ever?

You say he has had serious problems since age 3?

----------

A child of Age Six should not know about Oral Sex or Fellatio. someone has done that to him, if he is trying to get others to engage in activity with him. (e.g. asking your Wife).

Poor little guy.

Yeah, you can see how being abused sets kids up for more abuse, as they can be Too sexually Forward with adults. (Called "premature Sexualization".)

I feel so bad for you.
I hope you are able to get some Support and Counselling for yourself. What an awful predicament you are in.

But keep in mind that someone is telling him to say this to Divert Attention and Suspicion away from Themselves.

The cowards, eh?

------

I have heard of children being so afraid of being around an abuser, that they will defecate in their pants. Even kids up to age 10 or so.

IME, Stimulants like Methylphenidate cause the Runs, not Constipation...Speed speeds everythign up.

You have older sons, too, right? I hate to say it: but all the males a kid is around have to be suspects. (98% of sex offenders are males.)

If you know you are not the offender, then who else has been alone with him? Ever?

You say he has had serious problems since age 3?

----------

A child of Age Six should not know about Oral Sex or Fellatio. someone has done that to him, if he is trying to get others to engage in activity with him. (e.g. asking your Wife).

Poor little guy.

Yeah, you can see how being abused sets kids up for more abuse, as they can be Too sexually Forward with adults. (Called "premature Sexualization".)

I feel so bad for you.
I hope you are able to get some Support and Counselling for yourself. What an awful predicament you are in.

But keep in mind that someone is telling him to say this to Divert Attention and Suspicion away from Themselves.

The cowards, eh?

------

I have heard of children being so afraid of being around an abuser, that they will defecate in their pants. Even kids up to age 10 or so.

IME, Stimulants like Methylphenidate cause the Runs, not Constipation...Speed speeds everythign up.

You are all so kind with your replies

what i have read so far from all you kind people is this

i feel that a child has been abused in his class and tells my son who acts it out thats what i think here

My other sons are very good with him one is in the army and the other is going in this year

if i put my hand on my heart....i think this goes back to his school...

Deepsea

Constipation is not listed as a side effect for methylphenidate. I've been taking Ritalin for eleven years so I have some experience with methylphenidate. What problems is the medication causing?
you may be right he had a medical examination to see if he was abused and guess what.......came back negative wow yeah my son has not been abused by me or anyone

but the doctor did say he was Constipation due to not drinking water he does drink a lot of milk

the drug he is on is equasym xl http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/100004842.html

thank you for your kind input

Deepsea when did this happen? Is everything o.k. with social services now?
This has happen over the last week and still on going i can not hold myself together i feel so helpless and feel hurt life should not be like this i'm a good man and have help many i have saved lives and help others with problems

i'm going off my head started smoking and drinking:(

Deep

you may be right he had a medical examination to see if he was abused and guess what.......came back negativeI doubt anything would show on an oral exam.

the drug he is on is equasym xl http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/100004842.htmlEquasym tablets and Equasym XL capsules both contain the active ingredient methylphenidate hydrochloride.

From the same site:

Ritalin tablets contain the active ingredient methylphenidate hydrochloride.

Same drug, different manufacturer.

This has happen over the last week and still on going i can not hold myself together i feel so helpless and feel hurt life should not be like this i'm a good man and have help many i have saved lives and help others with problems

i'm going off my head started smoking and drinking:(

DeepYou poor guy. So this just happened in July? Is your family still together?

I doubt anything would show on an oral exam.

Equasym tablets and Equasym XL capsules both contain the active ingredient methylphenidate hydrochloride.

From the same site:

Ritalin tablets contain the active ingredient methylphenidate hydrochloride.

Same drug, different manufacturer.


No my son had the full works internal and external my wife was there i could not go i was so upset my wife came back crying....this is all wrong

yes you are also right about the drug however its new and not much is know about it

You poor guy. So this just happened in July? Is your family still together?yep happen just over 2 weeks ago in july 2007 im so upset about it thats why i wanted to get this out to all

is my family together yes just about but i feel like leaveing for ever:(

yes you are also right about the drug however its new and not much is know about itFrom: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ritalin

Methylphenidate was patented in 1954 by the Ciba (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ciba) pharmaceutical company (one of the predecessors of Novartis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Novartis)) and was initially prescribed as a treatment for depression (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_depression), chronic fatigue (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronic_fatigue_syndrome), and narcolepsy, among other ailments. Beginning in the 1960s, it was used to treat children with ADHD, known at the time as hyperactivity or minimal brain dysfunction (MBD). Today methylphenidate is the medication most commonly prescribed to treat ADHD around the world.

I've been around as long as methylphenidate has, but I can't remember the last time I felt "fairly new". :D

Hey there Deepsea,

I think what they are trying to tell you about the drug is that it is simply a different formulation of Ritalin. It is the same drug, just in a different tablet form - so although this new name for the drug is Equasym - it's old name is Ritalin and it is just packaged differently. Just because it has a new name does not mean they do not know much about it - they know plenty about it because it is still Ritalin.

So, according to the doctor who examined your son, there is no physical evidence that he was assaulted - however that does not mean nothing has happened to him (not to be graphic but fellatio would not leave evidence). I hope that nothing has, and that this is just your son repeating things he has heard at school. I think that you should talk with social services like one of the other posters mentioned and see if they can help you. Hopefully then can become your allies, not your enemies.

I wish you luck,

At Heart

Oh My....my heart goes out to you and your family:(

Before being a SAHM with my 8 yr. old with ADHD, I worked in a specialized private school for children with psychological (ADHD....etc.) disabilities. It was a wonderful school for these children, it took some time, but in the end the results would bring tears to my eyes. I think you are fortunate to have such a school within miles from your home! We had a waiting list of 40 or more needing the help. I hope the schooling and treatment your child so much deserves will happen. Hopefully he is not being abused at a facility like this!!!!

Have you gone to school with him and spent some time with the staff and other children? Is there a summer program?

Sometimes just knowing that a parent is "smart" and involved will give your child better treatment. I know this is sad.....but I had worked in schools for 10 years and that is my experience.

Yes....I am one of those parents and I do it for my son!!

It seems like you have been one of those individuals "wronged by the system", I am so sorry.:( Are there any advocate groups near you that can help with families like yours who have been accused of un-such acts?

My son who is 8 still needs help wiping and wears a "good night" to bed. His child psyciatrist has stated that this is common for kids with ADHD. He is in high gear all day and when his head hits the pillow....he is out cold. We continue to work on it:confused: The poo thing.....well he just has no patience to sit there and do it. Then he is afraid that he has it all over him (sensory issues). We try to encourage him to wipe and then we check- this is 50/50% most days.

Try to stay strong-I know it must be difficult......however, if you feel the need for alcohol and smoking.....maybe you should see your doctor and ask for a medication that may help you through this difficult time? Just a thought.:)

I wish you the best!! (((((((HUGS))))))))

My son who is 8 still needs help wiping and wears a "good night" to bed. His child psyciatrist has stated that this is common for kids with ADHD. He is in high gear all day and when his head hits the pillow....he is out cold.Was the psychiatrist referring to bedwetting?
We continue to work on it:confused: The poo thing.....well he just has no patience to sit there and do it. Then he is afraid that he has it all over him (sensory issues). We try to encourage him to wipe and then we check- this is 50/50% most days.Sportbikechic, is your son dealing with other disorders besides his ADHD?

I know where you are coming from Imnapl - this sounds more like PDD than simply ADD or ADHD. I do have to say that my 6 year old daughter will sometimes ask me to check her - because she might be itchy or something - she does not always wipe the best either (in too much of a hurry I think). She uses baby wipes for that - and toilet tissue for wiping after urinating. I think this has created a problem in that she will not have a BM at school (unless she has the runs), and avoids the bathroom -becoming constipated.

Just my two cents.

At Heart

This topic has come up several times with the doctor......they never suggested another disorder of any kind. And I am the one asking, so I am open to their responses.

He does have an anxiety disorder; could this be interfering?

We see the doctor again in the a.m. for a week med. check on the low dose of Prozac; I will bring this up again.:)

Stay tuned........;)

I know where you are coming from Imnapl - this sounds more like PDD than simply ADD or ADHD. I do have to say that my 6 year old daughter will sometimes ask me to check her - because she might be itchy or something - she does not always wipe the best either (in too much of a hurry I think). She uses baby wipes for that - and toilet tissue for wiping after urinating. I think this has created a problem in that she will not have a BM at school (unless she has the runs), and avoids the bathroom -becoming constipated.

Just my two cents.

At HeartWhen my daughter complained of tummy aches at age six, the doctor came to the conclusion that it was school related constipation and told us it was very common. My daughter even came home for lunch every day, but still managed to get bunged up during that year. A child of that age asking you to check is quite different from a kid who expects someone to wipe his bum.

Kids with sensory issues can be given a disposable glove to wear while cleaning themselves up. Kids with developmental issues may still need supervision to prevent playing or smearing feces, but the goal is to still help the child be independent. I hear there are now diaper wipes warmers that would help kids who are sensitive to temperature. A daily bath often takes care of less than perfect hygiene. :D

Bedwetting can be a problem for sound sleeping ADHDers. I don't remember soiling coming up in ADHD literature, but it comes up often with more severe developmental or psychiatric disorders.

I hope you can eventually pull him out of the school. It doesn't seem like a good place for him.

I hope all goes well with your family and your son gets the proper help he needs and you will have peace of mind.

Hi there DeepSea,

Anything new with this situation? Are you able to live back at home yet?

my niece is 16 and has aspergers syndrome among other things. last year i noticed that she wasnt at school and when i went round to see why she wasnt at school, she had cuts on her face and big black bruises on her face and head. she told me her stepdad had doen it and that he had told her not to go to school in case anyone asked questions. I packed some of her stuff and took her home with me. i rang my mum who in turn rang my sister (my nieces mum) she told us that the night before my niece had had an argument with her stepdad and had started hitting herself and scratching herself. on questioning her she admitted lying and said she didnt know why she had said it was her stepdad. Her stepdad was going to leave that day because we were all going mad at him. later we all apologised to him and my niece now lives with my mum. she gets on better there. but it goes to show that you do have to take things seriously but that hopefully the truth will come out in the end.
I am so sorry for your family to have to go through this.
Also my friends son has a few problems and one night he dreamt his dad was dead and went to school the next day and was really upset in class. he honestly believed his dad was dead. my friend got a call from the school to say that she shouldnt have sent him school after such a tragedy.
Anyway hopefully this will all be sorted out very very soon but until it is you and your family must stay strong. I really hope that this gets sorted asap. where in the uk are you. you should try talking to your sons health visitor and doctor and also to the school about this.
Good luck and keep us posted

Yes heart I m still here.. Just been working

1st of all i would like to thank everyone’s kind replies and input into this post

Thought i was on my own here but there are kind and caring people out there in the world

Ok I do have an update into this appalling situation I have been put in

Last week on writing this post my wife and my wife’s mum and myself was invited to a meeting at the social services offices

before we all left to go to the offices we all had a chat my wife and her mum said I should not go as I mite not like what they had to say……I am one of these who always stands up for himself and will say what I think and my wife thinks this is not good

So i had a big row with her and her mum and walked off

I have be brought up to look after myself… my wife is not like me and I feel she does not stand up for me anymore

I said ok find you go and I will say at home.. I was upset about this

Anyway the meeting went on for about 4 hours

The result:-

At the meeting there a police officer a doctor who examined my son social services other people don’t know who they where

They told my wife that my son was very valuable and should be put on the child protection register OMG what they are on about

I was allowed back into the home as long as my wife was there and did not leave me along with him SHOCK what a load of bull (sorry about that)

Police did not want to know but did have a say you won’t believe this one………….

About two years ago I invited a man that I knew for many years he spent 10 years for murder in fact he was jumped on by 3 guys and he stab one and he died and he got 10 years

After ten years he was allowed out every weekend so I offend to pick him up and take him back to the open prison

Why did I do this well he paid the price and served his time and his mum died while he was in prison and he was upset and had know one to help him back into society

So I offered before he was allowed to my house social services… yes them people came to my house to ask if I was ok for this man to come to my home

Of course I was I told them they explained to me what he was in prison for tell me what I don’t know!!

Well the police told social services that I allowed a murder in my house well this went against me well well I don’t believe this all I did was help a guy out who was down on his luck and now the social services think I m a bad guy you can not win

Now what

There is a on going investigate my son now said I have 2000 daddy’s clowns the social services said they need to find out which out of the 2000 daddy clowns is me

There also want my son to his doctor

I blame the school

What I am feeling

I wanted to hang myself last week cos I could not take any more I can not concentration on my work I feel they is no end to all this I feel ill I want to leave

I was offer a job in Iraqi this week I may go but my son would be very upset

I told him that I was going to work away and he was very upset he told me I love you dad please don’t go away

If he knew what he had done to me but he does not know he is only 6

Deepsea