I am not psychic of course. Not even sure I believe in it. What I did and I have done for years was read her body language. I think that over the years being a shy person has somehow caused me to be more aware of what people are doing around me. I offten get to know a person without saying a word to them. I just have always been facinated with how people interact with others. In observing all of this as I grew up I can now(with most people, though, not everyone) read people so well that when in person most people cannot lie to me. My friend has tested me on this time and time again and to this day she still says I am psychic. Shes never been able to lie to me nor have any of my other firends. They all think I am weird. LOL! I don't know what it is but I know not many can do this.

Brianne,

I want to mention this under Adults/ We Are Not Freaks - the thread has progressed to a topic on communication skills. Body language is a key ingredient here. It comes with maturity and intellegance. Back straight, head up, eyes open, smile, face muscles relaxed, shoulders relaxed, hands relaxed.. don't twitch your legs/feet and brrreeeeaaaaaatthh.

Now truely connect with your body language. What happens when you are stressed? can you lie and claim you just got 3 speeding tickets on your way to work? your cat just died? It was so and so's fault that you couldn't feed your friend's dog like you promissed over the weekend because you had to go to the lake.

My husband is the worse lier.. he can't keep anything from me for 1/2 a day.. it's sooooo funny. and at the same time.. I'm not much for surprizes.. but I can keep stuff from him for weeks.

funny you should mention that cause I was very in tune with my exboyfriend I knew what he was going to do before he did it and I knew when he was around even before people even told me he was there and I knew what he was going to do before he did it....even the long term warnings that I thought were daydreams came true. I have never experience that with anyone else before. Well except with another guy that i am interested in. The freaky thing is my ESP became more accute when my father passed. Sometimes, I like to think he is talking to me from the other side.

I forget if it was for BiPolar or ADHD where I read that intuition was a trait.

Well thats another weird thing. Well. I think so...........I can tell when others are lieing to me but when I feel the need to lie or whatever I am good at it. ................I read my friends body language only after knowing her 3 hours. One hour eachday for 3 days during choir class so, it wasn't like I talked to her the whole 3 hours. We were too busy singing. LOL! I seem to do this with most people esp women and people who seem to have been though a lot in their life. Maybe intuitve is the right word but thats means I have been this way since I was a young child. In fact the only people I have a hard time with are the ones that leave most people confused even after knowing them years. Also anyone I have had a crush on that I haven't known long. I can't read them for the life of me cause I am too busy trying to figure out if they like me too. LOL!
I think my friends are right I'm just weird! :D I don't mind it a bit makes me different and who I am.

variety is the spice of life so we ADDers are the spiceyest :D

Yeh, I just got new highlights. How does it look?!?:)

Coolies:D

I have to come back to this thread also....lol :soapbox:

Hello. Don't bump it, please post so we can all benefit from your intriguing and insightful mind. :)

Oh wow, where to start.... :eek:

I have always felt i was diferent from others as long as i can remember.
I also was a very bright kid and learned things very quickly. My mom always said that i started getting dress by myself at 2 yrs old, and tied my shoes at 3 yrs old. I was also very observant of my surroundings and people. But a lot more then other kids, it seems i was always older then them, eventho we were the same age. Adult did not know how to handle me, as i was always questionning them back with i guess answers that made them scratch their head , not knowing how to respond to a 3 yrs old about such questions. My memories from 3 yrs old, are very clear . I remember being afraid of some people, sick people were the worst for me, as i felt such a heavy feeling of pain and sadness from them. My great grandmother passed away when i was 4 yrs old, and i loved her to death, she was the greatest :) , but when she got sick i could not be near her at all , i know it's weird to hear this, but i could feel what she was feeling, and despair and sadness were overwhelming to take. For some reason i knew and understood those feeling very young, did not know what to make of it, but i knew.

Mostly all these things happened when i was fairly young, because at 9 yrs old, i drowned those in alcohol and drugs. If the phone rang in the house i knew if it was extreme bad news or very joyfull news, just by the phone ringing, i told my dad , grandpa died before he answered the phone, and he told me to not be so stupid . And my grandpa had died , it was my grandma calling my dad. I could list millions of things that happened like that. Also i feel negative or positive feelings from a house, or a certain part of a house. There is happy houses you know lol...:p

Honestly right now i feel like you guys gonna take me for a weirdo :eek: ...LOL well maybe you already thought that i was :rolleyes: :p , nad now it will just confirmed it. I could had many more things, but will keep the suspence for later lol... :rolleyes:

I am still not sure if it is intuation or having some extra sensorial ''powers'':foot:

Of course I already think your a weirdo ;)

it takes one to know one {{hugs}} :)

Of course I already think your a weirdo ;)

it takes one to know one {{hugs}} :)
LOL :p hug back to ya mommy :)

Good morning, Digitl. I have experienced exactly what you are talking about. Don't you think the intuition is all part of a hyperfocus/ hyperawareness...and maybe a female thing?
"The way the phone rings" Do you think there is such a thing? I know it to be true. How many times does it need to happen to be real?

Again, with the phone....I know who is on the other end, whether I am making the call or answering.

One example of many....Just the other day, I began thinking of a couple that we have not seen in at least a year. We have had no contact since the last time we saw them and we have never been to their home or had dinner with them. They are casual friends who we would not normally call or socialize with. I began thinking " wouldn't it be nice to do something fun with them...I would love to see their House, maybe have dinner together some time. Well, the phone rang, Digitl!!!!!
And we had a great time..
my hair is standing on end, it's so freaky. I wish I could put my intuition in a bottle and market it. I could make a lot of money?
have a great day:)
Annie

Wow, i know what you mean about making $$$ lol, maybe we should market this somehow LOL....

I dotn talk about this to people in general, cause usualy i get the look...and that is enough for me to drop it.
But i think i will drop in and out of this thread, and actually really talk about all that had happen to me,,, and it's fun to see that like you other people experience this.

Thanks Artsmartbabe :)

Good morning, Digitl. I have experienced exactly what you are talking about. Don't you think the intuition is all part of a hyperfocus/ hyperawareness...and maybe a female thing?
"The way the phone rings" Do you think there is such a thing? I know it to be true. How many times does it need to happen to be real?

Again, with the phone....I know who is on the other end, whether I am making the call or answering.

One example of many....Just the other day, I began thinking of a couple that we have not seen in at least a year. We have had no contact since the last time we saw them and we have never been to their home or had dinner with them. They are casual friends who we would not normally call or socialize with. I began thinking " wouldn't it be nice to do something fun with them...I would love to see their House, maybe have dinner together some time. Well, the phone rang, Digitl!!!!!
And we had a great time..
my hair is standing on end, it's so freaky. I wish I could put my intuition in a bottle and market it. I could make a lot of money?
have a great day:)
Annie

I sense moods in others all the time. I've learned how to identify body language (non verbal gestures), though, so I wouldn't disregard what others intent was, because I did in the past. But the 'sensing' concept, has always been with me. I can only read one other person's thoughts though, and we're very close.
You guys do have me beat though, I've never been able to get the phone to ring, when I want it to, but I have called, my close friend, at the same time they were calling me. Several times.
My Granmere used to call me 'empath', but at that young age, I thought she was saying 'inpath', as in my constant state of motion. :)
I now know what she meant.
Nova

Digitl. I know "THE LOOK" you are talking about. :rolleyes: My husband says " Annie, you've got to stop telling people what happens... they'll think you're crazy."

I am from a very large family and like you said, Nova, there is a keener connection to people you are closest to.

One day I went to a different town, and was shopping around in a home decorating store. I was thinking about my younger brother...I don't know, maybe something I saw reminded me of him.

So here I am deep in thought about my brother and walk around the corner.....guess who? Not only does he not live in that town, he doesn't even live in that state! :eek:

The weirdest part is that his teeth nearly fell out when HE saw ME because he was talking to a clerk about having some artwork framed. He had just commented to her "I wish my sister were here.....she would know what to do because she used to have a framing shop.".........ne nu ne nu ne nu ne nu ne nu.....

Honest to god, that is the truth!

I can read everyone , but my family i could respond to question before they ask. But i can not read anyone i am interested in for a relationship ( love) ,...i think i am more like this other person said, i am more looking into my feelings to be able to read the other.

One nightlong ago my sister and I shared a room , and i dont know how but i looked at my sister and i said...''No!! i am not closing this window, i am hot''.....She looked at me and said How did you know i was going to tell you to close the window? This kind of things happened all the time with my family. Or before someone speak to me, i will know what they are going to say 98% of the time. But like Nova this could be reading body language, i am very observant, and i can read body language very well.

Like you Artsmarbabe, i will be thinking of someone, or lets say a song i have not heard in a long time...and 98% of the time, within minutes i will hear the song or see that person.

I don't know about being psychic (besides the fact that when my mom calls, I always know it's her!) but I do feel as if I am a sponge for other people's emotions and issues. Sometimes I just can't go to the mall because I fill up on so much of other people's emotions that I feel like I am being assaulted. Then again on the Myers-Briggs, I scored as high on "intuition" as you can -- I think I basically manuver through the world by feel. Anyone else experience the sponge effect, sometimes to the point that you just don't want to be around too many people because it's so utterly exhausting? Maybe that's just because there's so much negativity. On the other hand, during worship at church or when I'm around positive people, I seem to soak that up too . . .

Hi amiegrace :) I do the sponge thing too...wow. See somebody and have the tears come up in your eyes?
You are on to something....it's important for us to keep ourselves around the positives and limit ourselves to those with toxic auras. Let's talk emotional health here, right?

Totally agree -- my husband is such an interesting specimen to me -- he is like a brick wall, everything bounces off of him. He doesn't understand why I get SO exhausted with people, and I feel like screaming even after an afternoon of errands. It's perfect because if we were both highstrung we would be miserable together. When I try to explain that I FEEL what a person is about without them saying anything, he's mystified, but after almost 6 years together he's learned to respect my intuitions without asking a lot of questions.

It's just sad that there are SO many people out there who are acting happy who I know deep down are just miserable :(. But I make people uncomfortable sometimes because I try to cut through the b/s when I know they aren't being forthcoming. They say they feel invaded, because even though I'm right and they aren't happy, they want me to pretend along with them that they are all right. It's too confusing.

I was talking to a bunch of women in my mommy's group at church about what would happen if we were all totally honest for one day -- about our feelings, opinions -- what it would be like to stop trying to manage other people reactions for them by telling white lies . . . especially about our feelings (Oh, I'm doing great!! when you feel like keeling over and calling it quits, for example.) What a revolution that kind of honesty would be!!

I am like that also.. That is why we seem to not be on the same level of ''normal'' people, we see thrue the bull****, and it does make people uncomfortable. It's very understandable, because no one wants to feel weak and fragile. Or atleast be discovered as so.

Accepting that we are fragile seems very overwhelming to people, because they know they will have to work hard everyday and they will have to push back limits, that i think they see as impossible to do.
That also means that you will have to accept your weakness and face them ....that is very scary, i know i have been thrue it, and it's hell. But what a delivrance it is when you actually do.

And it also mean that we have to take responsibily for our errors and our success. Both are not easy for some people. I know i dont have any problem admitting being wrong, and i am able to say sorry i was wrong. But accepting my success...now that is another story lol..but i am working on it,,,,it's all a self-esteem problem i know it, but not easy to change.

Like you folks, in have being problem in large gathering of people, i do feel overwhelme because all my senses are playing full level. I one point i to feel like a robot on automatic, so that is why i dont get into crowds. I realize more and more that i am not so much anti-social, but more like i am overwhemed by all the energy that comes out of people. And it does ask a lot of energy for me to play there games , that all is fine, when i know exactly what the problem is....grrrrrrrrrr that is where i learn to be less impulsive...people are not ready most of the time to hear what i ahve to say....:eek: :p :D

Digitl, would you like to be my friend? We have so much in common here......the overwhelminnnnggg feeling of being around large groups of people wears me out.

I have to attend a lot of reception type functions.....many many local people, lots of "politicing", airs, small talk, and then me. It takes me days to get over one of those parties..they just exhaust me and that is so weird to me. Nice to know I am not the only one picking up all of the energies in a crowded room...positive and negative.

Another hard time for me is after a holiday or big event, a long shopping trip...if I am overstimulated my down time afterwards is a must. grrrrrrrrrrrr back atcha.

Well, this isn't really what it seems like.

We really are reading minds, being psychic, an empath, whatever you want to call it. There's an actual rigorous scientific explanation which is quite complex, and starts with understanding how we experience reality.

Kay and I think the same thoughts all the time, complete each other's sentences, or worse, don't bother. We can listen to a bit of what another person is saying, keep an ear on that, and work out what else they're saying or what they really mean. If they're asking a question, we've often got the answers before they get to the end of the first sentence.

We decide to do the same things independently, and run into each other doing them. We often dream the same dreams, as in we actually share the dream and interact within it independently and cooperatively. We pick up our phones and call each other at almost exactly the same time, so we end up getting each other's voicemail.

That can only happen if we dial within a few tens of milliseconds of each other, and in conventional terms, that's not possible. Our brains take up to six hundred milliseconds or more to process sensory information. There isn't anything that we could be aware of in our external context that would allow us to synchronize that closely.

Besides, it's a phone call we’re talking about. There isn't any nonverbal cue to pin it on, 'cause we're not even in the same town.

There are many studies that have run into this problem of how processing time in the brain can't be properly accounted for, but my favorite is the one that demonstrated we clearly begin to perform a task before we make the conscious decision to do so.

Much of what's being said here is describing the thing SB_UK called an 'intimately converged' internal model of reality. (If it's intimate, there obviously must be at least two people involved.) Very cool, because everybody is doing it. Like Kay says, It's everywhere.

It takes a special kind of model to do this, one we ADDers use that is the cause of many of our 'symptoms'. The fact that a person has these apparently psychic experiences is hard evidence of the kind of logical structures in use in the brain. (Isn't science fun?)


Accepting that we are fragile seems very overwhelming to people, because they know they will have to work hard everyday and they will have to push back limits, that i think they see as impossible to do.
That also means that you will have to accept your weakness and face them ....that is very scary, i know i have been thru it, and it's hell. But what a deliverance it is when you actually do…
This is just brilliant. When Kay and I thrashed through this years ago we called it 'the frail human vehicle', and we made an analogy to the old WV Microbus. There's a complex scientific explanation of exactly this process, the whole fragile/'frail human vehicle' thing, and the result, too.

It's kind of like growing up, in a way. By some theories, once enough of us do it, we'll all spontaneously disappear, together.

--Tom and Kay

VW Microbus, that is...

(ADD,ADD,ADDDD *sung to the tune of Jingle Bells* )

LOL i thought we were already cyber friends :)

I wish i had friends like people on the forums near my house , i would visit i think :)
Digitl, would you like to be my friend? We have so much in common here......the overwhelminnnnggg feeling of being around large groups of people wears me out.


I have to attend a lot of reception type functions.....many many local people, lots of "politicing", airs, small talk, and then me. It takes me days to get over one of those parties..they just exhaust me and that is so weird to me. Nice to know I am not the only one picking up all of the energies in a crowded room...positive and negative.

Another hard time for me is after a holiday or big event, a long shopping trip...if I am overstimulated my down time afterwards is a must. grrrrrrrrrrrr back atcha.

"If you love someone, cover him in whipped cream. "

Digitl. Where the ....... did you come up with that oNE?
Have you been hanging around my cyber house, girlfriend?

Oh shoot, i thought you would not come out with this publicly, but yes i did,,,and i also spy in a lot of other cyber houses LOL...:p

I like the dip in chocolate and sprinkles also lol....:D

"If you love someone, cover him in whipped cream. "

Digitl. Where the ....... did you come up with that oNE?
Have you been hanging around my cyber house, girlfriend?

With regard to being an empath. I pick up on people a lot. I have been doing it all my life. I don't do it continuously. I don't read people correctly 100%, but I do read them correctly most of the time. I don't think it is all that rare an attribute in people. I think there is simply something about being ADD that makes some people more sensitive to it (a from of hyperfocusing ? or overprocessing ?) For the most part, I keep it to myself. I feel a little odd confessing it here (I don't know why).

I don't know if it is any more intense or concise than what an NT who is paying attention to their senses would experience, but I think it is more intense for me because it is my most reliable source of information about what people mean when they say or do something. I do know that most people do not seem (to me) to be very perceptive in that way.

One friend eventually realized I could do that (without my telling), pointed it out to me, and now is on guard whenever I am around, and all I get from that person now is a "blank" (fear ?). We are friends, but it is hard for me to trust someone I can no longer read because I can not judge their intentions. I can't read someone who is guarding their emotions.

I also can't read a psychological predator such as a psycopath or some bullies or sociopaths. Those people tend to be guarded all the time, so watch out if you "draw a blank" from someone.
If you spot manipulative behavior, or lots of rationalized behavior, you might consider avoiding that person until you can be sure it is safe.

Another friend was a little unnerved when I spotted hidden sadness over a relationship and responded with concern. She admitted it and I was then told "You are scarey when you do that.." and now that friend is also a little more guarded around me. I guess the thing there is to not tell some people when you picked up on their emotions, because some emotions are pretty personal and people don't like getting caught in their emotional/psychological undewear. (I am so tactless sometimes) I keep it to myself so I don't scare NT's silly. With my freinds , it is sometimes a fun parlor trick.

I also noticed that If I don't have eye contact, I don't pick up on people very well. I've also noticed some people are just unreadable no matter what. One more thing I noticed is that sunglasses help reduce the stress when this is an overload. I think it is because others can not make eye contact with me and the subconscious social interraction (or whatever) does not occur and I don't have to deal with that kind of unspoken communication continuously in a place full of people (just guessing).

On another occasion I picked up on someone who was also receptive (an NT of all people), and after a brief conversation, she said "I want to hug you", so I got a nice heartfelt hug from a fellow empath. I love spontaneously warm people. (people are nice, really)

Anybody else have these things happen, or am I slowly going paranoid ?

Glen

It's in my blood, Speedo, and 'read people' is my 'forte', or curse, whichever one chooses to label it. Anti social people tend to stare directly at you, actually, so eye aversion, on their end, is a sign of actually being able to internalize and process information, specifically in not wanting to reply to a conversation, or diplomatically give the speaker a chance to speak. Aggressive individuals process most information in the context of 'threatening', as well they should, due to the environment that shaped them into having to be 'on guard'. It's they who are paranoid, not you, sweetie.
I wouldn't advise hanging around with sociopaths, just to test your abilities to read them, though. What I use to break the 'connection' from someone, is just place a heavy duty binder in front of my solar plexus (upper stomach area), when having to converse with 'hostile' people. It helps me, and I've done it for years.
Intuition comes easily to me, and it involves listening as well as observing others. You can hear 'emotions' as well as see them.
Nova

Don't forget to add a strawberry. =)


Oh shoot, i thought you would not come out with this publicly, but yes i did,,,and i also spy in a lot of other cyber houses LOL...:p

I like the dip in chocolate and sprinkles also lol....:D

I have a few friends here who are ADD/ADHD and a couple of friends who are bipolar.
All of them but one are healthy, and we gather to compare our experiences very much like on this forum.

It is kinda neat. I think I owe them a lot in terms of how they have helped me to learn to cope.

I have also been telling them how completely cool this forum is!

Glen


LOL i thought we were already cyber friends :)

I wish i had friends like people on the forums near my house , i would visit i think :)

I never considered this as a "gift" until I read ADDers discuassing it. But my friends sure noticed that I could do it. It was just something that I did naturally, and I gave it no thought until very recently. I have also noticed that a lot of people can't do it well.

I was with a bipolar friend and she noticed that I was picking up on her changing moods,
I could literally feel her moods changing. It was remarkable. We spent a while trying to figure out how I was doing it and could not arrive at a conclusion. LOL, so we blamed it on ADD.

Glen


It's in my blood, Speedo, and 'read people' is my 'forte', or curse, whichever one chooses to label it. Anti social people tend to stare directly at you, actually, so eye aversion, on their end, is a sign of actually being able to internalize and process information, specifically in not wanting to reply to a conversation, or diplomatically give the speaker a chance to speak. Aggressive individuals process most information in the context of 'threatening', as well they should, due to the environment that shaped them into having to be 'on guard'. It's they who are paranoid, not you, sweetie.
I wouldn't advise hanging around with sociopaths, just to test your abilities to read them, though. What I use to break the 'connection' from someone, is just place a heavy duty binder in front of my solar plexus (upper stomach area), when having to converse with 'hostile' people. It helps me, and I've done it for years.
Intuition comes easily to me, and it involves listening as well as observing others. You can hear 'emotions' as well as see them.
Nova

With regard to being an empath. I pick up on people a lot. I have been doing it all my life. I don't do it continuously. I don't read people correctly 100%, but I do read them correctly most of the time. I don't think it is all that rare an attribute in people. I think there is simply something about being ADD that makes some people more sensitive to it…
There's a straightforward scientific reason for it. We ADDers are more adept at modeling the general case of any particular aspect of our reality. The reason that might not seem to connect with the idea of 'psychic' abilities is a general lack of appreciation for what constitutes reality, and our experience of it.

Once you get that (not so trivial) bit straight the physics problem of how we could actually 'read' another persons mind disappears. In its place is a different problem: how we manage to function at all in a coordinated social group, given the extremely tenuous connection we have with our own reality (let alone that of anyone else).

That's a much better arena for at least the first few stages of this discussion, because the answers to these questions are the foundation of understanding what happens when we look at another person and correctly imagine we know what they're thinking.

The artifacts that are being mentioned are for the most part just that, artifacts. It isn't a reliable indicator of behavior to imagine that a person looks directly at you for a singular particular reason, or that not getting anything from a person means that they're hiding themselves for some nefarious reason.

That last is particularly dangerous, because it's a good example of the kind of lack of understanding of others that can lead to seriously wrong behaviors. Whether they're the kind of thing that injures you or injures others really only depends on the circumstances.

The bottom line truth of it is simply this: if you draw a blank when you look at a person, it means that their model of reality doesn't match yours at that moment.

That's it; by definition, there isn't any way to tell what another person's nature is when you can't sync your vision of reality with theirs. To pretend that it presages bad things is totally unfair.

There are all kinds of different, and not everything different is bad. We are all constructed to interpret anything different that way, though. It's a great application of our ADDer abilities to not be fooled into believing it, even if it’s a part of our true nature.

It never hurts to cut another person a break. What causes problems is not seeing what's coming. And you can't do that by imagining an ordinary purpose can be assigned to an extraordinary phenomenon like reading other's thoughts.

Our abilities, particularly in these 'weird' areas, are a challenge to each of us that demands expanding into new worlds in order to gain control of the old ones.

And that's the real trick: running up to the edge and jumping, with no possibility of sure knowledge (in the traditional sense) that you can actually soar…


I don't know if it is any more intense or concise than what an NT who is paying attention to their senses would experience, but I think it is more intense for me because it is my most reliable source of information about what people mean when they say or do something. I do know that most people do not seem (to me) to be very perceptive in that way…
It's your only source of information; it's what we do to communicate. If you doubt that, spend an hour or two learning a bit about information theory and the Shannon limit. The bandwidth of the human oral-aural channel isn't even sufficient to say "Hi!" in a reasonable time.

We all effectively read minds all the time. What we're discussing is extending it to levels considered (and provably so) impossible. Figuring out how the proof that it's impossible can be correct and still not apply is a very interesting exercise, but not necessary to understanding and using your abilities to do it.

Again: we ADDers are intrinsically better equipped to do this trick.

(And what the heck is an NT, anyway?)


One friend eventually realized I could do that (without my telling), pointed it out to me, and now is on guard whenever I am around, and all I get from that person now is a "blank" (fear ?)…
Nah, it's just the black hole associated with the use of the particular non-conforming data structures we use to do the trick better than normals.

When you use a web-like logical structure, the resulting models (expressed in neurons, of course) are inherently stable, in the sense that many of the conditions affecting the convergence of isolated neural models have no effect.

But we all used isolated models for a long time, and thousands of years ago (or more) mechanisms selected intended to prevent us from doing stuff that would threaten the stability of the neural models we depend upon to function.

The general experiential form of any such mechanism is aversion. That's what others feel when they perceive us wandering into dangerous territory, and the way that we think is just that.

We ADDers often raise the same aversion in ourselves at first, and we sometimes beat ourselves up over it something awful.


…We are friends, but it is hard for me to trust someone I can no longer read because I can not judge their intentions. I can't read someone who is guarding their emotions…
This strikes me just the opposite: you have correctly read their intentions, and it's to run away from your particular way of modeling reality. That's the only reason you can't read them, and the implication is clearly a criticism of your non-conforming modeling behavior.

Bummer, eh? Happens to us all the time. It's amazing how much of the negative experience of having/being AD/HD stems from this one little nugget.


I also can't read a psychological predator such as a psychopath or some bullies or sociopaths. Those people tend to be guarded all the time…
Think about this: what's happening under the hood in these people is simply a matter of having a reality model different than yours.

It really is exactly that, and if you can trust your model to be at least close to correct, then you might be justified in assuming theirs to be a threat.

But consider that an autistic child is in the exact same circumstance, and there is very little perceived threat there. So it isn't the difference that seems threatening, but rather something else, that you're able to read through the difference.

Some fun, eh?


(A) friend was a little unnerved when I spotted hidden sadness over a relationship and responded with concern. She admitted it and I was then told "You are scarey when you do that.."
It is scary, and it’s even stranger how intimately familiar females are with it. Traditionally, most men don't get it. What I always got was, "You're not supposed to notice that…"


…I also noticed that If I don't have eye contact, I don't pick up on people very well….
That's not what it is; you're depending on the interaction that you force by making eye contact to gauge what they're thinking…


…I've also noticed some people are just unreadable no matter what. One more thing I noticed is that sunglasses help reduce the stress when this is an overload. I think it is because others can not make eye contact with me and the subconscious social interaction (or whatever) does not occur and I don't have to deal with that kind of unspoken communication continuously in a place full of people (just guessing).
…and there it is. You might think you're guessing, but where it counts you know, alright.

The interesting question then becomes what you know and how well you know it, doesn't it?

And then the big questions: how you could know something in a way that is completely different than anything we're taught, and what exactly is the nature of that way of knowing a thing?

Welcome to the monkey house…


On another occasion I picked up on someone who was also receptive (an NT of all people), and after a brief conversation, she said "I want to hug you", so I got a nice heartfelt hug from a fellow empath. I love spontaneously warm people. (people are nice, really)
No comment.

* * *

On second thought, this comment: you can't trust yourself or others to do this sort of thing. The more you learn to distrust what you and others are doing with this kind of interaction, the more others will pressure you to participate.

And you can't. It's true that people are nice, but (as a species) we’re going to go through a long period of awakening before we’ll be able to act like this honestly on that basis, and only that basis.

This is intimately related to what we’ve been talking about in this way: the abilities we’re discussing have their origins in mating behavior. You triggered that in the girl. It doesn't matter how heartfelt and honest it was, neither of you have the details of the origins of the behavior worked out.

So you just can't trust it. It’s a shame, really, but we’ve got to care enough for others to not return gestures that haven't yet been sorted out correctly.

And that really is too bad. Everybody could use a good hug from time to time, but as we learn more about ourselves the opportunities are necessarily going to be scarce for a while.

By way of compensation, honest hugs that you know are correctly understood by both hug-ees are that much sweeter…


Anybody else have these things happen, or am I slowly going paranoid?
Nah, we’re all plunging into this particular cauldron together. Fear not.

--Tom and Kay