I'm trying to decide whether or not to have my 6-year-old son evaluated for ADD.

Here's why I think he might have ADD:

He is a wee bit behind the rest of his class. He daydreams, has a hard time completing his work, and resists working at home with me on anything he has done in school. I try to get him to read with me, but he resists. People keep making comments about how "unique" he is, and I have been asked by more than one person if he has ADD. He consistently puts his clothes on backward, his shoes go on the wrong feet about half the time, and he can't follow multi-part instructions such as, "Go put on a clean shirt, brush your teeth, get your shoes, and then come back down here." If I tell him something like that, chances are good that he won't do any of it, because he will go upstairs and get distracted by our dog or something. I've watched him in his classroom, and he won't follow the teacher's instructions because he isn't listening. He'll move into action when he notices everyone else doing something; then he'll just follow along. When I watch him in a group of his peers, he seems to much more out of it.

Here's why I have my doubts that he might have ADD:

He's only 6, and about to start first grade. Maybe he's just immature. (His birthday is in March, so it's not that late in the school year.) He's quiet, yet friendly. When he plays with others, he is never aggressive, and is usually rather cautious about trying new things. And even though he is a little behind most of the rest of the kids in school, he is still managing to just keep up. He is able to focus when he has someone standing over him, but at least we know that he CAN focus.

Anyway, one of my friends, a kindergarten teacher, thinks I should have him evaluated. I'm wondering if I should give it more time, to see how things go in first grade. I'd be interested in knowing what made you guys decide that it was time to have your child evaluated for this.

Just mulling this over. I'd love to hear from anyone who has been in my shoes.

diane71, I was all ready to say yes because of the great observations you have made, but the kindergarten teacher's opinion was the clincher. It couldn't hurt, right?

My son could have been / still could be the poster child / adult for hyperactive ADHD. I knew nothing about ADHD then, and if anything, just "hyperactive" was the term used in those days. But then I'd meet another boy who was louder and more active than mine and doubt my intuition. My intuition was right and like your son, he wasn't a behaviour problem and any immaturity was blamed on his December birthday. I love kinders. They are the best kind of people.

I would wait a month or so after he starts 1st grade. In order to get a good evaluation, you will need the teacher to fill out one of the "conners" or "Brown" questionaires. It would be better to have the 1st grade teachers eval than the kindergarten teachers eval. IMHO.

He is able to focus when he has someone standing over him

speaking as a student with ADD before i was on meds... trust me here... no way could i focus if a teacher was standing over me... i still dont in fact in my bad boy days i used to just look up at them and tell them to go away or brush thier teeth or tell them how annoying that is

so based on that i would say hold off a little BUT maby your kid is just very smart and has observed his peers focusing and has taken from that prior expeirnce to start looking like hes focusing and maby do a problem or 2 just to make you leave....

i would hold off until at least 1st or 2nd grade.. its just elementry school so i would play it safe you dont want him on meds his entire life just cause hes being a six year old

Revz made a good point about focusing with someone standing over him. Hovering over my ADHD child did NOT help her get any work done.

OTOH, 1st and 2nd grade are very important grades. There is a lot of learning that happens in those grades(learning to read, as well as basic math), as well as a lot of social classroom behaviors that are learned.

You should know more after a month or two of 1st grade.

I'm having my 5 year old son evaluated soon and he's just entering kindergarten this year. He went to public preschool last year and ran into quite a few problems with following directions (that's exactly as you describe) and extreme distractability. He's always too busy watching what other kids are doing around him to work on what he's supposed to be doing in front of him - he has to be reminded over and over to do things. The teacher had to move his seat away from a mirror because he wouldn't stop looking in it and pay attention.

Quite a few problems with social interactions as well, although he is not aggressive - more like a natural "victim". Every little perceived wrong-doing leads to upset. Plus a lot of hyperactivity and other little things that I'm afraid will add up to problems as school becomes more academic. Anyways, this was all pointed out by his teacher who recommended having him evaluated. Same reasoning - What could it hurt? Even if I don't want to medicate yet, knowing what's going on with him can help me to help him.


Hovering over my ADHD child did NOT help her get any work done.Of course my son is only five - his work is getting dressed, brushing his teeth, cleaning his room, etc....but I must say that it is extremely rare for him to complete anything he begins UNLESS I am hovering and continuing to prompt him through it.

Your story is pretty much word-for-word, my experience. We started to notice little differences when he was at pre-school (aged 4) and then when he started kinder (aged 5) our wonderful and talented teacher suggested that his attention and social difficulties were uncharacteristic for the age group.

We had him tested and he was identified as having inattentive adhd with fine motor, sensory and social problems. The approach we took was to focus on environmental, social and dietary strategies knowing that some day we would have to consider medication in order to help him focus at school. In the meantime and until that future date, we armed ourselves with information and, through trial and error, gathered a support team of professionals - Occupational Therapist, Behavioural Pediatrician and Psychologist - and developed a relationship with them which has evolved as my son has grown. Four years later, we are now medicating, have the same support team and have a child who understands exactly who he is and why he is different (he worked it out himself). That has helped him to recognise that the medication does help him concentrate.

The point I am trying to make is that knowledge is power and the more knowledgeable you are about a situation and armed with resources means you are able to make considered and rational decisions, ease your own anxieties and advocate on your child's behalf, whether he has adhd or not.

Good luck.
Shelley

The point I am trying to make is that knowledge is power and the more knowledgeable you are about a situation and armed with resources means you are able to make considered and rational decisions, ease your own anxieties and advocate on your child's behalf, whether he has adhd or not.This should be made into a sticky. Well said.

Thank you Imnapl.

Shelley

Diane, if you have inklings, and that intuition is telling you something, just listen and follow through. I too, do think it would also be a good idea to get into school just a bit to see how he does in the classroom and how he does with his mates. But, you know him best, and are his best advocate. Best to follow through on your inklings now than to "wait it out" and loose some precious time without that powerful knowledge and assistance an evaluation can bring. Clue to me: If he is "managing to JUST KEEP UP, that is a red flag. I watched my son do just okay at first, but slipped farther and farther behind through the grades as the expectations grew faster than he could handle and keep up with with his attention issues. The evaulation my son went through (in May at age 14) even uncovered a language proccessing issue that stemmed from an early learnig foundation that he may have missed likely JUST from not being able to pay attention at that developmental stage. (Don't wait so long as I did!)

Because of my son's birthday (Feb) and the different intake cutoff dates for the schools here we had a choice as to when my son could move into primary school without "formally" having to do it. Our personal assessment was that he was not going to cope that well with being the youngest in the class and we delayed entry for a year. He became the oldest in his year and because of a hugh growth spurt also the tallest by far. We think this helped his confidence enormously and despite still being very shy and quite anxious he is doing fine and holding his own in quite a rumbunctious peer group. Incidentally there is a marked difference between girls and boys abilities at that age and they're all developing so fast a few months makes a visible difference.

Knowing the genetic factors in ADD I am quite aware that one or both my kids may have it, but unless the teachers indicate there is a problem we will not pursue it. This is also because my partner refuses to contemplate the possibility in either of them, bit of a mental block going on there I think.

I'm right with shelley......arm yourself with knowledge and then move forward, communicating with your child all the time, the teachers and the parents around you to try to understand the environment he's in. Once you've a handle on his personality and the environment you can coach and guide him through these crucial times.

Environment is critical......it only takes one sociopath in the class to really screw things up ..... being "labelled" and having "special" help is all a thug requires to undo any benefits the assessment may bring.

Incidentally watching in the playground at pick up and drop off is a good way to see the peer group dynamics...the teachers here actively resist parents trying to be in the classroom during class.

Sounds alot like my 6 year old daughter as far as the getting them to do anything at home without the defiance. Your child doesn't have to be climbing the walls to be ADHD. But MGDAD is right wait till he gets into 1st grade. That was when my daughter's
ADHD was obvious.

DEBBIE

My add son was in first grade when formally diagnosed. He was always an angel as far as behavior goes. Never aggressive with children, and never overly engergetic for a 6 y/o that is. He was tested academically that year and rated at 4th grade level for math. So you don't have to be slow learned or manically behaving child to ADHD.

It bacame evident that he would have to be diagnosed when he couldn't even focus enough to write his name on the top of the paper. His name went like this Z________________, becuase he would wonder off so bad mentally during his school work. The clencher was during a recital all the kids singing, and him zombily staring straight ahead.

If you want to delay the diagnosis, that's fine, if you want to get him tested you still don't have to put him on meds. Sometimes, the kids can pick up coping skills all on their own. IMO the most important thing is that he doesn't get too far behind or used to the feeling of failure. No reason to make anyone think that is the norm.
If he's able to keep up with the classwork and stays on grade level ability, you should be fine.

This is exactly what we went through. My son had constant school reports like: "He needs to concentrate in class.", "He lacks the ability to listen to instructions.". He would play quite well with other children, he would never lead, but always follow. In a one-on-one situation there was no issue. He would work just as well as any other child. But! Left on his own, he would quickly degrade to doing something else, or daydream.

Then there were times when he would get frustrated at himself. He would sit at the table of an afternoon for hours, doing homework that would have taken any other child 15 minutes. It was a struggle, he would come across a question that he couldn't immediately see the answer to, and get annoyed. Then it'd just snowball, to the point that he couldn't even do the questions that he could do immediately. He wouldn't leave the table - it was clear he wanted to do the work and get it over and done with, but he couldn't do it.

He is young for his year, which was the other concern we had. However, after 6 years of struggle, we eventually had him tested - and yes he has ADD. In fact so do I, all those years of struggle I had.....

So the very least you can do, is just have him tested. Basically, if you see a problem then have it looked at. Then either way, you can move to the next step.

Hope this helps...

Hi there Diane!

My 7y0 son is also in Grade 1, and was diagnosed with mainly inattentive type ADD in May this year. He was put on Ritalin and is doing 100% better.

He also did the daydreaming thing constantly, as if not listening to his teacher. His focus was also good with someone standing with him, but as soon as we left him the wheels came off. Like yours he is also cautious and will rather follow than lead. For the first few months of this year he barely kept up in class and I could see he was becoming frustrated with school and unhappy in general.

From reading your description I would suggest you have you lo evaluated just to make sure. If your son does have ADD you can spare him the frustration by getting help soon.

Regards
Andi