Tonight I might have lost my family.

I don't know if we can work it out this time.

I don't even know if I truly think that we should.

She's out right now. I don't know where or how long she will be.

If she doesn't get back in 20 minutes, I've probably lost my job too. No way I can get to the place that needs me to be Mr. Big Security Person on my own right now... especially not leaving two 12 and 10 year old boys alone in the house for I don't know how long...

I called the crisis line and talked for an hour with a woman there. She was very professional and I am calmer for having talked things through.

Going to find a new counsellor Monday morning.

Doesn't solve my problems tonight, though.

I am sorry to hear that things are going so terribly....I hope you two work it out....remember your children in the midst of all the hard times....if you even need to have an outside person to talk, I am not a counselor, but a willing ear, let me know.

Clams

words dont express the the pain I feel for you

my wife and I have had our times also so I understand

Im here if you need someone

Paul,

All I can say is, I'm sorry you're going through this, and...I've been there many times. I too am available if you want to just vent, talk, whatever.

I know that doesn't solve the immediate issues at hand, but knowing you have some friends to lean on hopefully will give you some hope & strength. Hang in there!

i am truly sorry about your plight, and hope you and your spouse can work things out.

Good luck.

Paul.. my thoughts are with you.

:( :( :( :(

I can't say anything that would be of any use, but I'm praying for you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you too Paul.....you're one of the most resourceful and persevering people on these forums....God knows that is true....You will get through this....

I'm sure everyone here is routing for you.....please keep us posted, okay????

You were correct about seeking to meet the needs of the two children 12 and 10 first. family emergencies happen.

Try to do the next right thing.

Measure twice, cut once.

Reconsider, delay, wait.

Go to responsible and "do no harm."

Let us know what you'd appreciate from here.

Paul you are in my thoughts...

Mine too.

Try hyperfocusing on your children. They are in just as much pain being on the sidelines of you and your wife's turmoil. They are probably feeling helpless, insecure and very fearful.
They are boys and are probably trying not to show you how they feel. But under it all they are scared, just as you are.
Make a point to eat as many meals with them as you can, take out is fine. Reassure them everything will be fine as long as you have eachother. Try playing a sport or board game with them everyday while your going through this. Distraction is a beatiful thing for all of you. It will be hard to start it but once you begin playing hopefully it will do good for all of you. I've been through this with my parents and the emotional neglect was tremendous because they were so preoccupied with nursing their own hurt that they could not see the pain I was in also.

Best medicine for all: Lots of hugs, lots of pats, lots of reassuring words(even if you don't believe them), games, sharing meals, discussing a tv program you have just watched together.

Good luck Wayward! The boys are #1 right now.

WW,
I am here for you also. I am not a proffessional, but I am very willing to listen to anything. Sending good vibes your way. Take care!!!!!!!!

Originally posted by Christiana
:( :( :( :(

I can't say anything that would be of any use, but I'm praying for you.


Me too! Hang in there

Originally posted by Christiana


I can't say anything that would be of any use, but I'm praying for you.

Originally posted by prumont



Me too! Hang in there


Me too, WWC!

smooch

About all I can say here is this just sounds so very familiar... Even saying that is of no use to you and offers little or nothing in the way of comfort.

ADD males, it seems, are harder to live with and understand than the non-ADD sort... I don't know that this even has anything to do with that though. What I do know is that you, your spouse, and your boys are in my thoughts this evening, and I wish for you, and them, that all will work out well. Seems to me that is how it should be. Keep in mind I can barely manage my own life and you are probably a better man than I... So, these words aren't worth a whole lot, I am sure, but I still mean them.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I will also be here if you need to talk. I know you don't know me all that well yet, nor I you, but everyone here is like family to me. I can't say I have been though what your going though because I have never been married, but I just went though a bad break up ..................only he won't let me go...............I'll post my story somewhere else though some other time. My thoughts are with you and your family right now. Hang in there! Take Care!
Keep us posted cause we all care about how you are!

Right now I am going thru the same sort of thing and I know there are no words to take the pain away. You seem like a very intelligent and kind man. Nobody deserves to feel this way.

I'm thinking of you too. Wish there was something I could do!

Okay back. Thanks again for all who offered support.

To clarify: crisis is over. Still married. Still have my job.

Gonna talk to a counsellor tomorrow, working on some anger issues. The wife has promised to work on some of her issues too.

To clarify another thing that I did not make clear earlier: only the 10 year old boy is mine... the 12 year old is his best friend who was sleeping over at the time. But I couldn't leave him alone either.

Glad your back and things are not at crisis mode anymore. Keep your chin up. Like e-boy said we ADD men seem to invite relationship issues. Hope things work out for whatever is best for you.

Glad to hear that the storm has settled some, but it looks like you have some rough waters to work through ahead of you....Keep talking to each other.