nickz
08-10-07, 11:07 AM
Hi, guys. Another european here. This last year I've been wondering if I might have ADHD or Asperger, I know it's probably pointless to try to diagnose myself, but for different reasons I don't have access to any health professionals at the moment (living in the wrong place). Figuring this out on your own can get very confusing :( I apologize in advance for the length of this post :p
This all started when somebody suggested I should get my 5-year-old checked for ADHD or Asperger (I plan to do that next year). I also have a brother with a serious drug problem (a junkie for 10 years, better now, thank god), and some more ADHD-people in the not-so-immediate family.
Because of the death of my father and bad bullying in primary school, I developed depression and social anxiety, that could account for some of my problems. I'm not really depressed anymore, but still have some anxiety.
Ok, here goes. The main things that bother me are:
* Problems motivating myself. This is the big one. I have serious problems doing anything that I find uninteresting or boring, and usually postpone everything until all hope is lost. It's extremely hard for me to force myself to do something. In college, all my papers were typed during the night or the same morning. I've lost jobs because of slacking with deadlines, and my private economy is a disaster area.
* Problems connecting with people. I find it very hard to talk to people, even my own parents and people I've known for 20 years. As far as I know, I've always been like this. Either they make me nervous and uncomfortable, or I'm not interested in what they're saying. I also have problems making eye contact. I mumble a lot. Small talk bores me to tears. I usually just sit and listen, and make funny comments whenever I think of something... I'm always the comedian at a social gathering. No problems with empathy, though. I actually think I have too much of it... I'm not a recluse, but I don't really have any close friends outside my own family. I had friends when I was a teenager, but I haven't been able to motivate myself to stay in touch with them after we moved apart.
* Problems concentrating. Not really sure about that one. All my teachers in primary school complained that I was in my own world and didn't focus. I didn't notice this myself, but it's in every single report card. On the other hand, I was a very smart kid, and I might just have been bored. (I learned to read on my own before starting school). I do tend to daydream a lot, and can read a page or two without absorbing a single thing. My wife says I'm forgetful, but usually it's little things like where I put my sunglasses (haven't seen them for weeks now :p). I usually remember appointments and things like that.
* Thrill-seeking. Kind of. I've moved around a lot, and spent 15-20 years in different countries. I always noticed I would feel happier, better and less lethargic after moving to a new place. This feeling would stay for about 3-6 months, and then it was time to look for a new place again... After 3 years in college I suddenly decided to move to France, and almost didn't go back to finish my degree. I drink way too much as well.
* Lack of energy. Very much so. I drink tons of coffee, but feel a bit tired and restless most of the time. I only seem to wake up when something different and exciting happens. I really enjoy a good crisis...
* Limited range of interests, or obsessions. This seems more aspergerish to me... Or is it an ADHD trait as well? When I was younger, it was music and astronomy. I couldn't have cared less about football, cars and fashion. Now my mind latches on to something, and obsesses over it for a week or a month, before it moves on to something else. It's usually the the last thing I think about at night, and the first thing in the morning. And I never, ever talk to anybody about these obsessions. The last months it's been blogging (wrote a bunch of blogs over a period of 2-3 weeks). Then I started writing a young adult novel and got to about 50 pages before I got sidetracked. Now I'm obsessing about these mental disorders... I would love to be able to stick to something, but I don't seem to know how to do that.
* Sensory issues. Not sure about that one either. How do you know what other people hear or see? I know that I get uncomfortable at crowded malls and shopping centers because of the noise. It sounds a bit like being in the middle of a heavy rainstorm.
Phew, guess that's it for now. If anybody made it to the end, I'd be grateful for any comments. Is this something I should have checked out, or am I just a mental hypochondriac?
This all started when somebody suggested I should get my 5-year-old checked for ADHD or Asperger (I plan to do that next year). I also have a brother with a serious drug problem (a junkie for 10 years, better now, thank god), and some more ADHD-people in the not-so-immediate family.
Because of the death of my father and bad bullying in primary school, I developed depression and social anxiety, that could account for some of my problems. I'm not really depressed anymore, but still have some anxiety.
Ok, here goes. The main things that bother me are:
* Problems motivating myself. This is the big one. I have serious problems doing anything that I find uninteresting or boring, and usually postpone everything until all hope is lost. It's extremely hard for me to force myself to do something. In college, all my papers were typed during the night or the same morning. I've lost jobs because of slacking with deadlines, and my private economy is a disaster area.
* Problems connecting with people. I find it very hard to talk to people, even my own parents and people I've known for 20 years. As far as I know, I've always been like this. Either they make me nervous and uncomfortable, or I'm not interested in what they're saying. I also have problems making eye contact. I mumble a lot. Small talk bores me to tears. I usually just sit and listen, and make funny comments whenever I think of something... I'm always the comedian at a social gathering. No problems with empathy, though. I actually think I have too much of it... I'm not a recluse, but I don't really have any close friends outside my own family. I had friends when I was a teenager, but I haven't been able to motivate myself to stay in touch with them after we moved apart.
* Problems concentrating. Not really sure about that one. All my teachers in primary school complained that I was in my own world and didn't focus. I didn't notice this myself, but it's in every single report card. On the other hand, I was a very smart kid, and I might just have been bored. (I learned to read on my own before starting school). I do tend to daydream a lot, and can read a page or two without absorbing a single thing. My wife says I'm forgetful, but usually it's little things like where I put my sunglasses (haven't seen them for weeks now :p). I usually remember appointments and things like that.
* Thrill-seeking. Kind of. I've moved around a lot, and spent 15-20 years in different countries. I always noticed I would feel happier, better and less lethargic after moving to a new place. This feeling would stay for about 3-6 months, and then it was time to look for a new place again... After 3 years in college I suddenly decided to move to France, and almost didn't go back to finish my degree. I drink way too much as well.
* Lack of energy. Very much so. I drink tons of coffee, but feel a bit tired and restless most of the time. I only seem to wake up when something different and exciting happens. I really enjoy a good crisis...
* Limited range of interests, or obsessions. This seems more aspergerish to me... Or is it an ADHD trait as well? When I was younger, it was music and astronomy. I couldn't have cared less about football, cars and fashion. Now my mind latches on to something, and obsesses over it for a week or a month, before it moves on to something else. It's usually the the last thing I think about at night, and the first thing in the morning. And I never, ever talk to anybody about these obsessions. The last months it's been blogging (wrote a bunch of blogs over a period of 2-3 weeks). Then I started writing a young adult novel and got to about 50 pages before I got sidetracked. Now I'm obsessing about these mental disorders... I would love to be able to stick to something, but I don't seem to know how to do that.
* Sensory issues. Not sure about that one either. How do you know what other people hear or see? I know that I get uncomfortable at crowded malls and shopping centers because of the noise. It sounds a bit like being in the middle of a heavy rainstorm.
Phew, guess that's it for now. If anybody made it to the end, I'd be grateful for any comments. Is this something I should have checked out, or am I just a mental hypochondriac?