View Full Version : Doctors Appt.

08-13-07, 09:41 PM
Well guys today i made the first step of treatment, i went to the doctor. This i have done many times before but as soon as i started to somewhat feel better i didnt think i needed the meds anymore. Well today i got to tell the doctor some of my recent feelings and problems. He put me on Depakote , and i have to go see a physic to discuss my problems in more detail. After all the problems i have been having in my life and the outburst i have towards the people that mean the most to me, im ready to make a life long sacrafice and take my meds. Im stubborn and hardheaded when it comes to that but its something i have to get used to.

08-13-07, 10:07 PM
I am glad you went, Dawizfan :) and glad you went back on some type of medication. Have you had success with Depakote in the past or is this new to you?

How do you plan to deal with the possibility that your illness start lying to you again? It happens to me, and I think its happened to all of us here at one time or another, that message of sorts telling you that you are fine now and can go off the meds. I know that its helped me more than once to go to "Plan B" and admit to somebody, usually somebody here, that that's what's going on inside my head.

08-13-07, 10:31 PM
No this is a totally new med to me. I took one this evening when i got it filled. My plan to stay consistant on the meds is going to be tough, but i just look at my kids eyes and i know i have to do something so i dont have to see hurt in there eyes for me yelling. I have already destroyed our family , and im not sure it will ever come back. I just dont want my kids to see that or have to deal with my mood swings

08-13-07, 10:37 PM
Many of use turn and look at our kids when we need a reminder. Check out JustHope's signature tag (I made it for her, by the way) and what it says.

I do this a lot too, in fact just last night :). I also have at least one child diagnosed with bipolar II as well.

08-13-07, 10:53 PM
Wonderful to hear DaWiz!

I am happy to see you moving in that direction. It's not easy but if I can do it anyone can.

And yes CF, if I had to pinpoint the single most important reason I sought treatment and have stayed with it, is because of my boys. For Kee, because I know what he is going through. Having it himself. And for my little one's just 9 & 10, who like the poem says in my sig line (which you did for me..great job! LOL) is the truth. They still love me like I am their entire world. They call me constantly at work, they pounce on me everyday when I get home, and they can't wait for me to sit still long enough to crawl in the bed and snuggle.

It used to drive me nuts and not in a good way. Now everytime I feel the space closing in and I want to flinch or get aggitated, I am able to stop myself. I know my meds have helped that. I never wanted to be a monster before, I just couldn't stop myself. Now I can. Now I can appreciate their "young" love for me as mommy, before they become teenagers and they appear to not need me anymore. If I have one thing to be thankful for, it's that I was able to be stable enough to recognize, and appreciate that, before it was too late.

DaWiz...don't get stuck in the guilt, it's not a healthy place either. Use the tragedy as a way to push through when the darkside comes calling. And it will.

Looking forward to seeing more posts and updates from you!

Hope :)