Just wondering if any other females who have ADHD have an inability to reach orgasm in relationships?

Your post was last August, so this might be too late, but I do think there is a relationship between ADHD and an inability to orgasm during sex for women with the disorder. I have never seen anything published on the topic. An inability to focus (long enough) seems to be the problem. I have been unable to discuss with my partner, who is very patient! But I have only been able to orgasm during oral sex; I think I am too distracted during regular sex to climax. This has been an issue my entire life and very frustrating! Add to that the problems inherrant of aging and decreased libido; don't know if I'll ever get there! Anyway, glad to know I'm not the only one!

Nope, sorry. This is one problem i don't have.

Hey SwissGirl don't be so hard on yourself. Many women don't climax during intercourse...it's more of an anatomical thing vs. a mental or ability thing. Be happy that you and your partner know what you need to get you there.

In addition to shifts in focus or the inability to weed out physical/mental distractions there is also the possibility of hyperfocusing on "getting there" which, of course, takes all of the fun out of it.

Yep , I do have that problem. I also have the feeling that it's related to a certain sense of being immature that I have - like I don't really care all that much to get down to business. But maybe I need to find a partner that is more like me i.e. slow :)

Nope, sorry. This is one problem i don't have


ditto I have several other dysfunctions and malfunctions but this is one of the few that actually "works right" - I am sorry that any one has to deal with this issue.

Yeah, major problem with me there, but I've never considered it an ADHD issue. More like my over-the-top fear of criticism and rejection, terrible self-esteem, and that d***** over-analyzing commentator in my head that will never just shut up and let me relax. I'm so worried about what I'm doing and what he's thinking, that after a few minutes, I'm ready to just get it done with. Needless to say, I've never orgasmed during sex. Didn't even know what it was until my 30's, and I wasn't with another person at the time - if you get my meaning.

i've never really had a problem getting off alone...when i'm with a partner though, i've never had an orgasm. close, but couldn't get over the edge. it's the stupid over-analyzing thing in my head, can't relax enough to just go with it...can he see the cellulite, does this turn him on, should i be louder, quieter, move more, move less, how does my stuff smell, taste, is he bored, is he grossed out, is this too tame, is this too kinky, should i talk, should i not talk, i need to get eggs and bread and oh! have to call my grandma, and did i pay the phone bill, and hahahaha! that joke i heard today was so funny...oh, can he tell my brain is wandering? shoot! is he close? am i close? what time is it...


and on. and on. and on.

course when i'm alone...30 seconds, tops! hehehe! :D and that's almost every day!

i think for me, alot of it is performance and body issues, which exacerbated by my brain running wild and not being able to just shut off and relax.

i've never really had a problem getting off alone...when i'm with a partner though, i've never had an orgasm. close, but couldn't get over the edge. it's the stupid over-analyzing thing in my head, can't relax enough to just go with it...can he see the cellulite, does this turn him on, should i be louder, quieter, move more, move less, how does my stuff smell, taste, is he bored, is he grossed out, is this too tame, is this too kinky, should i talk, should i not talk, i need to get eggs and bread and oh! have to call my grandma, and did i pay the phone bill, and hahahaha! that joke i heard today was so funny...oh, can he tell my brain is wandering? shoot! is he close? am i close? what time is it...


and on. and on. and on.

course when i'm alone...30 seconds, tops! hehehe! :D and that's almost every day!

i think for me, alot of it is performance and body issues, which exacerbated by my brain running wild and not being able to just shut off and relax.

I relate to every bit of that - word for word - omg, you described the internal dialog perfectly! And glad to hear I'm not the only one spending a lot of "alone time" ;).

i've never really had a problem getting off alone...when i'm with a partner though, i've never had an orgasm. close, but couldn't get over the edge. it's the stupid over-analyzing thing in my head, can't relax enough to just go with it...can he see the cellulite, does this turn him on, should i be louder, quieter, move more, move less, how does my stuff smell, taste, is he bored, is he grossed out, is this too tame, is this too kinky, should i talk, should i not talk, i need to get eggs and bread and oh! have to call my grandma, and did i pay the phone bill, and hahahaha! that joke i heard today was so funny...oh, can he tell my brain is wandering? shoot! is he close? am i close? what time is it...


and on. and on. and on.

course when i'm alone...30 seconds, tops! hehehe! :D and that's almost every day!

i think for me, alot of it is performance and body issues, which exacerbated by my brain running wild and not being able to just shut off and relax.


yep. me too. exactly. "is he peeking"... "i'm going to peek to see if he's peeking"..... "oh crap, he's looking AT ME"..... "should I be looking at him too?"..... "how long is a look, before it's a stare...?"

and let me assure all of you, farting on your partners dangly fellas, "Bert and Ernie", does nothing for mood, and forget about orgasm after that little faux pas. :o

...and let me assure all of you, farting on your partners dangly fellas, "Bert and Ernie", does nothing for mood, and forget about orgasm after that little faux pas.http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc312/busyhermit/laughs9.gif

(Been there, done that!)

i've never really had a problem getting off alone...when i'm with a partner though, i've never had an orgasm. close, but couldn't get over the edge. it's the stupid over-analyzing thing in my head, can't relax enough to just go with it...can he see the cellulite, does this turn him on, should i be louder, quieter, move more, move less, how does my stuff smell, taste, is he bored, is he grossed out, is this too tame, is this too kinky, should i talk, should i not talk, i need to get eggs and bread and oh! have to call my grandma, and did i pay the phone bill, and hahahaha! that joke i heard today was so funny...oh, can he tell my brain is wandering? shoot! is he close? am i close? what time is it...


and on. and on. and on.

course when i'm alone...30 seconds, tops! hehehe! :D and that's almost every day!

i think for me, alot of it is performance and body issues, which exacerbated by my brain running wild and not being able to just shut off and relax.


I'm a guy and happened to read this post. So I hope you don't mind me commenting. I actually have similar experiences as you do, Supamook. I have no problems by myself, but with a partner I'm bombarded with all these thoughts and anxieties going through my head. It's frustrating not being able to be there in the moment. Ugh!!!

Ok.....now that I've wiped the tears of laughter from my face. :)

supamook that was hysterical!!! And I go through the same thing. Not so much the thinking about what I'm doing, or should be doing, but all the other stuff. What I need to do the next day, groceries, phone calls, kids, etc.

Thinking about that stuff doesn't inhibit my ability to reach climax but it does inhibit my desire to have sex. It's hard to explain......but I just don't what to "get the party started" because I kind of feel like I'm cheating him out of something enjoyable because I'm "not there".

I've never had an issue with climax, but then again I've been doing that myself for as far back as I can remember so I'm very in touch with that area.....literally. When I was a child I used to mastrubate every night in order to go to sleep. I was so wound up in my head that I couldn't sleep. That seemed to relax me and I'd drift right off. I don't have ADHD but ADD so I'm not sure if that makes a difference.

I don't have ADHD but ADD so I'm not sure if that makes a difference.


no hyperactive ADDers can "get in touch with ourselves" too , no problems there . . . . :p

I wasn't having problems until recently when I changed meds... went off Wellbutrin because I was one of the rare ones who got Alopecia (hair loss) from it and told my doc I'd rather be depressed because I was ADHD and chemically imbalanced, than because I was bald (not attractive on most women though I LOVE it on a guy lol)... anyway, I went onto Effexor XR 75mg, and lost my sex drive and the ability to orgasm... that was awful! I went from being my usual hypersexual self to really not caring and knowing that if I had sex, I wouldn't 'get off' anyway, even alone! Lowered the dose to 37.5 and am fine now... though of course, this is when the doc stopped having samples to give me and I now have to try Cymbalta instead.... also just switched my Adderall 20mg for Strattera 40mg, so this whole thing could change... I'll let you know, I guess... if you're interested that is. lol

Major problems here.

It has been even worse lately. Hubby has a mustache and a little beard "Goatee" and I can barely kiss him now. Those little hairs just are too much sensory overload. I can't stand light touch as well. So that, combined with the other problems some of you have mentioned...yep, can completely relate.