My 7 year old son has been diagnosed with adhd since he was 3 and on prescription meds since 4 years. [We've tried several different medicines in the past and foclin seems to be the one that has been the better choice] (With Adderall he had violent outbursts when coming off of the medicine.)

The FOCLIN XR (20 mg) does help~ however, he is only 43 pounds! He honestly is SO skinny. I feel SO guilty for giving him the med only because of this.

His first grade year, he had excellent conduct and made practically all A's. Now he has entered second grade. As far as I know, so FAR, he's doing well. BUT-After school, his medicine is wearing down and he does eat, however, his behavior is out of control. Very aggressive, impulsive and LOUD to name a few symptoms he has.

The DR. has given me a VERY mild form of the same med in a regular form to give him in the afternoons to help but I FEEL like I'm having to drug my son to deal with him...Sometimes I just want to cry my eyes out.

He is in DEFINITE need of the medicine but, OH MY GOSH<< how it bothers me so about his weight.

Also, it seems that he has issues with behavior in that he doesn't seem to mind sometimes if he does something he knows he'll get in trouble for. He has problem with telling lies, over the least little things. Is this all associated with ADHD? Not that children may tell a story now and again. But his is to the point he doesn't CARE if he gets in trouble.

He is my middle child and the only one that seem to have the disorder.

Herbal treatments I would consider but have NO idea where to begin... Would they not also curb his appetite?

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

He is in DEFINITE need of the medicine but, OH MY GOSH<< how it bothers me so about his weight.Is his doctor worried about his weight. I know a few very active, skinny, seven year olds who aren't on medication, but are picky eaters. That's great that he's doing so well at school.

Also, it seems that he has issues with behavior in that he doesn't seem to mind sometimes if he does something he knows he'll get in trouble for.[/quote]Could this be impulsive behaviour which is a symptom of ADHD?

He has problem with telling lies, over the least little things. Is this all associated with ADHD? Not that children may tell a story now and again. But his is to the point he doesn't CARE if he gets in trouble.All children are capable of lying for different reasons. What does he lie about?

What does he lie about?? Well,,Just about EVERYTHING.. from hitting his sister (who's 2), whether he's completed a task, homework, money.. Everything.. It seems that he'll do it for reasons of getting what he wants along with to keep from getting in trouble, or to keep from having to go back and do something he didn't want to do in the first place. And argue really bad.. So defiant.. And mouthy! He talks back a LOT>> seems like he always has to have the last word in.. OH MY GOSH>> he's 7!!

It's not like we don't punish him for acting ugly.. We do, but nothing seems to work. I'm not a parent to let things slide or make excuses for him when he does things he shouldn't.

When he does really good, I try to praise him often, especially about things like his homework, or things he enjoys doing. I do tell him how proud I am of him, but, it doesn't seem to work.. I'm so stressed!

He's always in a hurry to do everything, also...

For instance.. He came up with a LOT of quarters one day.. he does save his change, so I was suspicious only a bit. BUT, then I asked him if he'd taken it out of his dad's change bucket.. his reply was No, over and over again, NO, NO, NO.. I even went so far as to tell him that his dad was blaming his older brother and how that would be awful if he wasn't telling the truth and someone else had to take the blame.. Again, It was No.. Finally, after he had spent the money, he told me he did take the quarters from his dad...

At the end of everyday.. While tucking him into bed... I always tell him he's my sunshine and how much I love him. But I can't help but to be exhausted.

I love all my children with all my heart~ but it does stress me out so bad.. I don't know what to do..

About his weight.. Sorry I forgot.. No.. the doctor doesn't seem to be worried but, he's approx. 44 inches tall (3 ft. 8) and 43 pounds..

I wonder if his doctor hears so much from parents about ADHD cases that he just takes them lightly sometimes. But it REALLY concerns me.. I feel like I am constantly fussing at him about something.

Thanks Imnapl, so much for your input... I feel as though I'm going crazy at times.

What does he lie about?? Well,,Just about EVERYTHING.. from hitting his sister (who's 2), whether he's completed a task, homework, money.. Everything.. It seems that he'll do it for reasons of getting what he wants along with to keep from getting in troubleKids will lie to avoid getting into trouble or being punished. Something to remember when talking to kids: don't ask a question you already know the answer to. If you know he hit his baby sister, don't ask, just discuss how hitting is a poor way of solving problems and it hurts. Ask him what his sister does that upsets him and discuss other ways he can solve the problem.


or to keep from having to go back and do something he didn't want to do in the first place.This is a tough one to be right about. Does he not want to do something or is he sick and tired of forgetting and then having to go back. ADHD makes little guys easily distracted - I'm still standing in rooms wondering what the heck I came in there for way too often even with meds.

And argue really bad.. So defiant.. And mouthy! He talks back a LOT>> seems like he always has to have the last word in.. OH MY GOSH>> he's 7!!Be thankful he's not a girl. LOL! A wise person said that it isn't enough for parents of ADHD kids to be good parents, they have to be better parents than other people. Barbara Coloroso is one of my favourite experts and she's easy to understand. Kids Are Worth It is one of her books and it even comes in an audio version.

It's not like we don't punish him for acting ugly.. We do, but nothing seems to work. I'm not a parent to let things slide or make excuses for him when he does things he shouldn't.I can tell that by reading your posts which is why I like talking to you. If he is doing so well in school, you are already doing things right. You want to see some changes and if reading a book isn't your style sign up for parenting classes. You already know a lot of strategies, but you just need someone to fine tune it for you personally.

I'm so stressed!Is there an adult in the family who is diagnosed with ADHD?

For instance.. He came up with a LOT of quarters one day.. he does save his change, so I was suspicious only a bit. BUT, then I asked him if he'd taken it out of his dad's change bucket.. his reply was No, over and over again, NO, NO, NO.. I even went so far as to tell him that his dad was blaming his older brother and how that would be awful if he wasn't telling the truth and someone else had to take the blame.. Again, It was No.. Finally, after he had spent the money, he told me he did take the quarters from his dad...Good for him! He's not a criminal yet if he can admit he made a mistake in judgement and fell victim to instant gratification.
Tell Dad to stick that change bucket in a safe place where impulsive little guys can't be tempted. Don't ask questions you already know the answer to.


I love all my children with all my heart~ but it does stress me out so bad.. I don't know what to do..It might have been Barbara Coloroso who said this when asked how do you know if you are doing a good job at parenting. If you are questioning what you are doing, you are probably doing just fine.

Regarding worrying about your "skinny" hyperactive boy. My son is in Asia and phone calls are rare. The last time I spoke to my already thin when he left son, he told me he was having to cut pieces off his belt because he was losing inches on his waist. I almost blurted out, but you're already thin! Instead, I asked him if he was bulking up because of the hard labour he is doing and he said, yes, his body was definitely changing. The less meat in his diet is probably making a difference too.

See, July, being a parent never goes away. We're in it for a long time, not necessarily a good time. LOL! :D

July,

Here is a link to a Body Mass Index Calculator.

http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/welcome/bmicalculator.html

BMI is a good way to determine where your child stands as far as being to skinny or overweight. I ran through it quickly with the info you gave above, and your son seems OK on the BMI scale. However, I am just curious as to what your son likes to eat.

Thanks for the link to the BMI ~

He's pretty much what I would consider a typical 7 year old. He likes pepperoni pizza, hotdogs, hamburgers, potatoes, Chicken strips~ One thing I am proud of is he likes steamed broccoli~ and fried okra (is that just a southern thing?)

I can get him to eat very little beans, salad, macaroni and cheese....he's kind of picky on veg's~

I guess he's pretty average?

Hi Julynn324,

My now 18 year old was exactly like your son and I know exactly how deserpate and bad you feel because I felt exactly the same way. I had a meltdown when he was about 3 I think because there was no relaxing, every waking moment he had to be watched no matter where, he was the one that the mother's groups would point at because while they were sitting with their children we were always standing up talking to them for fear of what he may get up to next. Even at home you couldn't sit down, he didn't watch his first full TV show which was Fireman Sam until he was 5, he had no interest in anything except what he knew he should not have an interest in. We would take him to the park every night at around 6.30 to try and get some energy out of him, he would climb cupboards we even went to at that time the second highest ADHD authority in our state and even this doctor got mad at him (even with us standing the whole appointment time).

Lie, I dont think anybody could be more convincing than my son, he could convince you that the sun was out in the middle of the night.

He was on Ritalin for about 2 years when he was 4 1/2, the before's and after's that you mentioned he was exactly the same, it was like all the bad behaviour banked up over the day and by the end of the Ritalin it was like an explosion, no one and no where was safe.

He was never violent but then he was an only child for 5 years and then copped twins, when our doctor found out I was having twins he just gave a sad smile and said sarcastically "well that is great isn't it, this is all you need", that is what a pain he was.

Inappropriate comments like you wouldn't believe and so funny but also so awkward, he once asked me while waiting in a cake shop next to an older lady why she wasn't with the rubbish in the bin outside because she was old like the rubbish needless to say she didn't look endearingly at him. I could write a book on what he got up to, the funny sort of outweighted the rest I guess but at the time it was like an absolute neverending nightmare. I used to wake up and think "only 17 years to go until he is 21", now that is really sad. On really bad days I would count the hours until it was bedtime and then cross my fingers that he would sleep straight away, he usually didn't.

Weight, that was a big factor why we took him off Ritalin, he was pale, his hair was dull and falling out, his weight was so low, and he was ostrasised, he had no more friends in fact I had to go to school and watch him playing by himself because the (horrible little brats - sorry I still get angry) wouldn't play with him, he was exactly how they wanted him to be, he was a sad doll but still they wouldn't play with him, we used to have parties for Halloween and March birthday so that he could be popular for the 3 weeks before that we sent the invitations out, March and October being good times to buy popularity because it would spill over on the other side a bit and he would have someone to play with for a few weeks after these dates.

By all this I am trying to show you how similar our paths are. I lived my life totally out of control because I had no control because of this child, I had to just keep thinking one day he will be older and this will all be over.

When he was taken off Ritalin about 7 to 8 it was hell on earth for awhile but then it was hell on earth before and after the Ritalin too so we just had continual hell as apposed to a break in hell but, he eventually evened out a bit as he got older, the doctor said when he was 11 the hyperactivity would wear off a bit and it did, he did however as the doctor predicted go through a different set of problems, his inattention was still there but we put him in to a stricter school, saw naturopaths and changed his diet, this may be a big key in your son's problem at the moment. Pepperoni pizza, hotdogs, hamburgers, chicken strips, these would all have colours and preservatives in, even though some people dont agree that diet is that related I know with our son it definitely was, you could see it in him as soon as he had something bad we would pay for it for the rest of and the next day. Chocolate was his big thing but if you dont buy it he cant eat it. Fortunately he was very good with mashed vegies and crumbed veal was another big thing for him, custard he loved which with pureed apple was really soothing to him, the custard had a little bit of bad in but not that much. Orange juice was a big no no, fresh yes (meaning squeezed by yourself) but anything else no. I guess it is just an experiment with all the good foods but basically if he is having natural good food that hasn't been altered mixed with lots of water and milk (if he isn't allergic) then no matter what his weight he is still getting the vitamins in his body to be able to function and not have the side effects that all the preservatives give him that are possibly fighting against the Ritalin and coming out as the Ritalin wears off.

My son is now as I said 18, is doing Year 12 and is looking to be involved in the computer industry, he gets rather anxious, migraines, loves his own company, stays in his room, doesn't socialise except on World of Warcraft where he has many friends, he works part time at a large fast food chain (no he doesn't eat the food because he doesn't want to), he is a pain to get up in the morning and get to school, he teases the twins sometimes when he is interested enough, he has no interest in girls unless they invented one that had a computer on her head, he goes against what the teachers are trying to teach him because he says he cant understand them and he can teach himself better anyway so he gets on the computer and teaches himself, he still tells the odd lie or two but not as bad and he is not medicated. But, he is happy, a bit stressed because he has to get certain marks to get in to his course next year, his own fault because he decided that he doesn't believe in homework or Year 11 so has left everything up to this year and even then the latter part of this year so it is all catching up with him, it doesn't help the hours he spends on World of Warcraft either. The other big thing with my son is which you will probably find with your son, he will almost never follow the rules, if he is told to wear his tie at school he will put it around the collar of his shirt not done up, maths as I said he teaches himself against the teacher's wishes, etc. etc. etc. By the way, his IQ puts him in the top 8% of people in Australia which was quite unexpected to us but expected by the school, as one of his coordinators said to us, he is quite brilliant and could do anything he puts his mind to do as long as it is his mind doing the talking. They expect that when he hits about 24 or 25 he will finally grow up and be able to handle his intelligence and there will be no stopping him.

Another similarity your son may have is that my son can and always could sell ice to the eskimos. He expects to be working with Bill Gates when he finishes his 3 year course, almost like Bill is waiting for him to call.

You have to laugh, they really are entertaining kids and memories, it is true you can look back and laugh but to re-live that nightmare I lived through that you are living through my sympathy is well and truly with you but it wont last forever, just keep telling yourself that, one day like with me he will grow out of the hyperactivity, there are a new set of mentally challenging problems sometimes but not all the time and we coped. Just remember, every day is a day closer to the end of all the hell on earth and that day will come.

Keep smiling, Rainbow.

Rainbow, have you ever contemplated having your son re-evaluated now that he is older?

Thanks SO much Rainbow for your story... It DOES help...

I think that part of the problem is yes.. diet: But what do I do if I can't get him to eat more natural, unprocessed foods? I don't let him have a lot of candy.. But you know, Ice Cream (BRYAR'S all natural vanilla) is the only kind he's big on.. I try to give him a bowl every night to help with the weight gain..

My friend also suggested that he's jealous of his younger sister, now 2~ which, yes, I agree... He is so agressive when it comes to her. I'm going to try to have several times a week, that he (Sawyer) and I can do something just by ourselves~ Do you think that might help?

I don't want my child to grow up too fast by any means.. He LOVES To play his Nintendo DS lite and it seems to keep him occupied. I don't let him play horribly violent games but, I seem to give in sometimes when I shouldn't on letting him play it because it keeps his mind occupied along with his hands: ie: he's not literally bouncing off the walls...

Rainbow: Thanks for sharing so much~ I would love to chat with you further if you didn't mind on occasion. I also have a funny pic I could show you of my son< climbing the walls!

Your right, You do have to laugh.. It helps to talk though, to connect with others who have went thru OR are going thru what I am.. He isn't a bad kid by ANY means... He's really good when his med is in his system, But.....

I do have faith enough to know -The Good Lord would never put more on you than you can handle...

And of course, Take it ONE DAY AT A TIME...LOL

Thank Everyone~

Julie

Hi Julynn324,

You child just sounds so like mine and we are lucky because we can get alot of entertainment out of them although I must admit it is usually after the fact. Even last night he came home from his after school job which he does a permanent Saturday night finishing at midnight and he is out there calling the cat at 12.15, he does this every Saturday night, the rest of the time at home the poor cat is trapped in his room although I dont think she minds too much but the neighbours, they are very quiet people so you can imagine their thoughts.

DS light, hmmm, my other son the 13 year old, DS, nintendo etc. he gets absolutely wild with, but the 18 year old is hooked on it even now, I cant get him off it, World of Warcraft so be careful, it is a good reward too, that is how we use it for our 13 year old, mind you it has been about 1 month and he does sneak in to his sister (twin) room and get hers and then the DS is out of bounds for longer if we find that out, poor boy, just had a birthday and he played one of the DS games for one night, I may have to re-think this punishment and reverse it, maybe give it to him permanently but if he is on it after set hours or is really bad it gets taken away.

Diet, I know how frustrated and worried you are, as I said, it was impossible with the 18 year old when he was 4 to 7 on Ritalin, we did try other things after that but to no avail, they were like sedatives and each one definitely had its problems. As I said, the only thing that would bring him around was grazing through the day and not obsessing to him about what he doesn't eat, just when he is on DS or something he enjoys shove a TINY little plate of say nuts or raw carrot or something he can just pick up in his hand and you may find he will nibble at it while playing DS, I wouldn't even speak to him when you put the plate down, I would just gently place it next to him enough so that he takes notice but not enough to even acknowledge it. Then, at hungry times I would go for really good comfort food (healthy if you can) but like the pureed apple and custard, even mashing up all his vegies with butter and milk, just a tiny amount on the plate, he is still getting his vitamins, I even hide garlic in mashed potatoes, and lasagne is amazing, what I can hid in that meat sauce is not for the faint hearted. You get your blender and chop it until it is pureed and then add it with the mince and tomatoes, it is so fine they cant even see the spinach (no surpise they hate it), brocoli, carrot, punkin, garlic, parsley, if they new what they were eating when they love my lasagne as they do they would have a fit LOL, it is just being sneaky that is all. Smoothies are another good thing, no hard food and maybe he may like them a little more at those bad times, icypoles made out of fruit. Mind you even after all this he was still very underweight or what I thought was underweight, the doctor thought he was fine.
The most important thing though, grazing is good, small amounts and when effected by the meds sneaking that little plate without drawing any attention to yourself, it is amazing how trickey we parents can be.

Our 18 year old has become very withdrawn from any social contact, he is however looking forward to seeing a band in a couple of weeks but whether or not he gets there will be another story, he has been invited to heaps of 18th parties etc but mentions them and never goes. He is nervous to be out of his room for any amount of time. I have to force him, bribe him with Subway to get him to go anywhere with me and even then I tell a little white lie and say I will be 10 minutes and I gradually involve him in looking for clothes or an electronics shop etc., that has worn off and he doesn't trust me much time wise anymore. The one thing at the start of this year that was suggested to my husband and I in fact the whole of my twins year level was "make a date with your child every month", take them out to dinner just you and them and talk one on one with them. I have done that no as many times as I should and he really likes it. As I said, he was hit with twins, being an only child for 5 years and then all that, people were great and made a real fuss of him and I decided to favour him, everything was run around my 18 year old but that didn't work because it made him more spoilt and unable to get along with the other two and the other two really missed out. I would do that one special time with him a month but also try to involve them in an activity say going to a fun park together and going on rides together, as you know they arn't great at playing directly with the other person, they are best playing beside another person.

I would love to speak to you further and would be happy if you private messaged me and would love to see the photo of him climbing the walls.

The best piece of advice I can give to you is to bring laughter as much as you can in to your house, it does make it hard to adjust to when things go awry but you seem to find the light and pick up where you left off, we laugh alot, it sounds wierd but it works, even I dont know if you saw it on the news about the big yellow plastic lego man that washed up on the shore in England I think it was, we thought that was so funny and would have loved to claim that.

Wishing you and your family lots and lots of laughs, Rainbow.

only thing that would bring him around was grazing through the day and not obsessing to him about what he doesn't eat, just when he is on DS or something he enjoys shove a TINY little plate of say nuts or raw carrot or something he can just pick up in his hand and you may find he will nibble at it while playing DS, I wouldn't even speak to him when you put the plate down, I would just gently place it next to him enough so that he takes notice but not enough to even acknowledge it. Then, at hungry times I would go for really good comfort food (healthy if you can) but like the pureed apple and custard, even mashing up all his vegies with butter and milk, just a tiny amount on the plate, he is still getting his vitamins, I even hide garlic in mashed potatoes, and lasagne is amazing, what I can hid in that meat sauce is not for the faint hearted. You get your blender and chop it until it is pureed and then add it with the mince and tomatoes, it is so fine they cant even see the spinach (no surpise they hate it), brocoli, carrot, punkin, garlic, parsley, if they new what they were eating when they love my lasagne as they do they would have a fit LOL, it is just being sneaky that is all. Smoothies are another good thing, no hard food and maybe he may like them a little more at those bad times, icypoles made out of fruit. Mind you even after all this he was still very underweight or what I thought was underweight, the doctor thought he was fine.
The most important thing though, grazing is good, small amounts and when effected by the meds sneaking that little plate without drawing any attention to yourself, it is amazing how trickey we parents can be.
Rainbow, you have some wonderful suggestions about feeding these busy little bodies. You have reminded me of my son who was not a picky eater and loved all the good stuff, but didn't eat large portions at meals. We let him graze out of necessity and he ate healthy snacks.

Yep you sure can.. I NEVER thought of that.. I'll have to 'hide' a few things in my lasagna! Thanks>>>LOL!!

My niece has suggested that Sawyer has ODD as well.. It may be.. I am still considering a therapist of some kind.. I don't think his pediatrician honestly takes it as seriously as I do.. and that's sad.. It's like he hears it all the time.. Nothing new to him!

Maybe his med needs to be changed.. I don't know.. He's NEVER been on Ritalin~ That's the one med I was SO scared of because of my neighbors son being like a zombie on it... It scared the **** out of me.. It's such a shame.. And I think sometimes not necessary..

We'll see.. Tonight was a good nite.. I'm happy to report..

I gave him his Nintendo DS back today.. He promised he would give it up without whining, when asked.. Well, he did ALMOST! LOL And he honestly didn't fuss as much as he normally would..

We'll take it one day at a time..

Thanks to everyone, again..

Hope you all have a wonderful night!!

Blessings~

Julie

Julynn, I know your worries are about his weight, and I don't have anything helpful to add to what the others did, but I recently was introduced to the Love and Logic parenting for ADHD. Boy, what an eye opener! I've always been told I did well with my son, but we still struggle, you know? L&L helped to tighten up some very longstanding issues. They have suggestions for dealing with a lot of the issues you mentioned, such as lying (which is often a coping mechanism with ADHD). I had known long ago that punishment didn't work to change his behaviour, but what else is there to do? L&L gives some awesome ideas on why punishments don't always work to change behaviour, but to use consequences instead, and they actually tell you how to go about that. My son is 14, and he is doing really well with some of the techniques I have picked up from the strategies. He has taken on a great deal more of the responsibility of his actions and that in itself is changing his behaviour. And too, if it is going to cost him something, he is making a point to avoid that cost. Anyway, the strategies are really easy to use, are fun, they release YOU from worry and frustration, and put them back where they should be. Let me tell you, that is the very best part! Mom is way less stressed! ;)

There is a thread going HERE (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=40080&highlight=logic) if you want to catch a glimpse of how some situations can be handled using their techniques. And, as with all things, you can pick and chose what techniques you like out of the whole.

Things around our house are SO much better using some of the L&L stuff, and I wanted to share with you if you might find some of them helpful too.