View Full Version : The loner of 8th grade!


Expressions
08-17-07, 03:08 PM
I've never had that many friends. I had one friend Wayne through kindgarden to the 4th grade and I had AJ but he had to move away to Tigerville. Lydia another friend of mine went to a different middle school. Sure I have John and Jarvis by my side, but Jarvis want be there for me in HS since he has to go to the other one and John I'm just not sure. I've been picked on, called names, kicked, spat at, and a ton of other cruel things that people think is funny. I have a weight problem yes but do you really have to shove it in my face?

I have had fake friends through out the 6th and 7th grade, making fun of me is all their favorite past time. This one girl put paper in my hair in the 6th grade and now her and her group of friends jump if I get in 10 feet of them. I HATE them so much. I HATE the school, because I'm better then it. I'm better then have the people their, it doesn't have to do with brains, their just all stupid by nature.

I basically have no friends. Is anyone else in this sitaution or has been in this situation. Also I don't know the first thing on making friend. So if you guys could give me some tips that would be awesome! =]

Newbie28
08-17-07, 03:38 PM
oh my god I hate my computer!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHH

Hello Expressions!

I typed this big long thing out and lost it when I was sending it... but it went something like this.

I know kids can be cruel, especially when they are in groups. but if you are interested in making new friends I would suggest talking to people 1 on 1, you are more likely to get the real person rather then what there friends or group expects them to be.

I think you will find that in 15 years from now you may have 1 or 2 friends from highschool that you will still consider best friends and actually talk to on a regular basis.. its weird like that..

when you get older none of the things that mattered in highschool matter now.. nobody cares who the home comming queen or king is, nobody cares if the preps/jocks/whoever else doesnt like them, and generally, unless your a jerk, nobody picks on you... you can become friends with anyone..

So hang in there , growing up is hard to do, but it will get better.

But for the time being I would suggest find somehting you interested in and jump in. I'm sure you will meet some good friends that are interested in the same things you are. and who cares if its not in the mainstream croud.. I kinda think the mainstream croud is boring... its like they all comform to certain standards because they dont have the ability to be interesting.. dont ever let anyone force you into doing something you dont feel comfortable doing just because you want to be accepted. find the people that will accept you for who you are and then you will find some real friends, and real happiness.

I think the first one was more informative but i have the attention span of a squirrel so thats all i could remember.. take care and I hope I could help a little.

Paige1989
08-21-07, 11:04 AM
I've always had trouble with social relations as well...mostly because I'm intellectually above them (I'm not being vain or anything, but I honestly prefer conversations with my teachers than most students), thus it's hard to hold a conversation as I like to talk about more...diverse, I guess. And my step-sister has spina bifida, meaning she's paralysed from the waist down and that's made it difficult on her as well. What really gets under my skin, though, is the fact that my younger siblings (14 and 10) have NO trouble making friends. They're amiable and sociable and all...It shouldn't make me jealous...should be happy for them and all, but it's hard when I find it so difficult. :-/ Hope this year goes better for you than last year. :)

~~Paige

higgledy
09-01-07, 09:31 PM
I've always had trouble with social relations as well...mostly because I'm intellectually above them (I'm not being vain or anything, but I honestly prefer conversations with my teachers than most students), thus it's hard to hold a conversation as I like to talk about more...diverse, I guess. {{comment removed by moderator}}

higgledy
09-01-07, 09:43 PM
I basically have no friends. I know where you are coming from and I bet a lot of people on this forum understand too.

You sound a little depressed. Do you have a school counselor or some other adult that you can talk to?

I know there are changes that you can make that will help you make friends. For example, Dale Carnegie's book How to Make Friends and Influence People is a great book with lots of hints and tips on making friends. This book is in every library and bookstore in America and it is inexpensive too. If you are not a big fan of reading, it is also availble on CD.

Marty
09-02-07, 02:21 AM
Find people with common interests. That's the best place to start.

QueensU_girl
09-03-07, 02:49 PM
re: #4 comment on "arrogance"

In Post #1, Expression's narcissistic sort of reaction ("I'm better than them" [the bullies at school]) is a common defence to painful experiences like this.

In a sense, at least he is not talking self-hatred or self-harm (The opposite sort of end of the stick response to persecution/bullying.)

Paws13
09-08-07, 04:49 PM
When I went to school in the east, I never had friends in my class- they were all freshmen and 8th graders. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with that. But friends-wise, I've been drawn to underclassmen. Maybe because I'm technically supposed to be one grade under? Even here, majority of my friends are sophmores.

Before I turn this post into my life story, I wasn't friends with people in my class because they were just shallow and snobby. If you expand your range of vision, you'll find some real gems in the rough :)

Shamen
11-09-07, 12:12 AM
I've never had that many friends. I had one friend Wayne through kindgarden to the 4th grade and I had AJ but he had to move away to Tigerville. Lydia another friend of mine went to a different middle school. Sure I have John and Jarvis by my side, but Jarvis want be there for me in HS since he has to go to the other one and John I'm just not sure. I've been picked on, called names, kicked, spat at, and a ton of other cruel things that people think is funny. I have a weight problem yes but do you really have to shove it in my face?

I have had fake friends through out the 6th and 7th grade, making fun of me is all their favorite past time. This one girl put paper in my hair in the 6th grade and now her and her group of friends jump if I get in 10 feet of them. I HATE them so much. I HATE the school, because I'm better then it. I'm better then have the people their, it doesn't have to do with brains, their just all stupid by nature.

I basically have no friends. Is anyone else in this sitaution or has been in this situation. Also I don't know the first thing on making friend. So if you guys could give me some tips that would be awesome! =]
Based on my experience at that age that really wasn't any better, I wish I started weightlifting much younger ( usually difficult to motivate for the first 5 minutes but once the blood gets flowin it's a rush ). The reason being, in college it had a huge effect on my appearence, my self esteem and my concentration during the day. I recommend a 20 minute workout before school, and an hour after. At the same time, continue learning about ADHD ( if there is a Borders in your town look for a book called "The Gift of ADD" - was very helpful and positive for me ). Also I recommend reading as much as possible on social skills ( my view is that that is something ALL people should strive to improve ). These years are the buildijg blocks of your future, everything you learn now WILL pay off. Also try to find a group of people you have something in common with - they do not have to be from your school. I especially encourage you to get involved in something involving music if you as in alot of people with ADHD are unusually creative.

All this advice worked on me. I did get pushed around in school, now I think people are afraid to mess with me. I'm not a violent person, I just have the quiet confidence that alot of people find intimidating. I always felt I had to work twice as hard and I did struggle in school, but in the end when I go back to my home town ( small community in Canada ) most of the people I went to school with never did anything in their lives. While I am not wealthy and have had numerous problems in employment related to having ADHD, I consider myself very wealthy in other ways. I didn't have friends then, but I do now, and I wouldn't trade the people in my life who have been more like family to me for anything. Also having travelled many places as far away as South America I feel my life has been so much more interesting and diverse than most people from my high school.

I have not made it back to any High School reunions. I could go just to show off that I'm all built now and all that, and that not to be conceeded alot of people do find me good looking, but then again, I am so busy in my life with more important things I could really care less about my high school or anybody there or what they think of me. For me just wasting the time to travel back to Canada for that would be like saying that I have no life.

As for where you live, if it's a small town, you could move when your done high school. I do find the area I currently live to be more accepting of peoples differences than alot of places I've been in the Deep South.

Also, I am kinda confused about the status of ADHD under the disability act but I recommend your parents go and talk to the school principal and tell them about the bulleying and that they expect it to stop. If it does not stop then I think the school deserves to be sued for
1) discrimination
2) neglecting their responsibility for the safety of children in
their care.
Trust me, the school will put a stop to the bulleying if they know hey are facing a lawsuit. In fact some school districts have already done all they can to put a stop to bulleying, appearently where you live they are a little farther behind. In addition, not making reasonable accomadations to students with ADHD is discrimination in itself. If the school or school board decides to help then your parents could suggest may'be a student support group for ADHD where everyone can get together and discuss coping strategys, social skills and other important stuff or just doing fun activities together. You will then find that ADHD people can be some of the coolest people around. If there is anything unusual in your social skills that are preventing you from making friends you need to find someone that you can trust to honestly and constructively point that out and help you to change that yet be patient at the same time, and make sure you show your appreciation for that in return.

Judging on what you wrote, you already seem to be very mature for someone in Grade 8 and probably have more inner strength than most of your school mates. Don't expect everything to change immediately, but I guarantee your work will pay off.

You also mentioned you had fake friends in Grade 6 or 7. Always remember "No relationship is better than a bad relationship". Sounds like you learned that at a young age, may save you alot of drama later on.

Shamen
11-09-07, 12:30 AM
I basically have no friends. Is anyone else in this sitaution or has been in this situation. Also I don't know the first thing on making friend. So if you guys could give me some tips that would be awesome! =]Just want to also say, you might think different but there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Some of these people ( they are all known to have ADHD ) have had a real rough time in school and there is nothing wrong with them either and to be honest some of these people we owe big thanks to for what they done for mankind.

Famous people with ADHD...
Albert Einstein
Ansel Adams
Beethoven
Alexander Graham Bell
Andrew Carnegie
Jim Carrey
Christopher Columbus
Tom Cruise
Leonardo da Vinci
Emily Dickinson
Thomas Edison
Albert Einstein
Henry Ford
Benjamin Franklin
Robert Frost
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Galileo
Bill Gates
Susan Hampshire
Handel
Ernest Hemingway
Bill Hewlett
Alfred Hitchcock
Dustin Hoffman
Anthony Hopkins
Howard Hughes
Thomas Jefferson
"Magic" Johnson
Samuel Johnson
John F. Kennedy
Robert Kennedy
John Lennon
Lewis and Clark
Carl Lewis
Abraham Lincoln
Louis Pasteur
Gen. George Patton
H. Ross Perot
Pablo Picasso
Edgar Allan Poe
Elvis Presley
Joan Rivers
John D. Rockefeller
Nelson Rockefeller
Pete Rose
Eleanor Roosevelt
Gen. Norman Schwartzkopf
Socrates
Steven Spielberg
Sylvester Stallone
Vincent Van Gogh
Lindsay Wagner
Mike Wallace
Walt Whitman
Woodrow Wilson
Stevie Wonder
F.W. Woolworth
Wright Brothers
Vince Lombardi
Robert Lowell
Mozart
Napoleon
Nasser
Isaac Newton
Jack Nicholson
Nostradamus

Arei
11-09-07, 12:30 AM
I've never had that many friends. I had one friend Wayne through kindgarden to the 4th grade and I had AJ but he had to move away to Tigerville. Lydia another friend of mine went to a different middle school. Sure I have John and Jarvis by my side, but Jarvis want be there for me in HS since he has to go to the other one and John I'm just not sure. I've been picked on, called names, kicked, spat at, and a ton of other cruel things that people think is funny. I have a weight problem yes but do you really have to shove it in my face?

I have had fake friends through out the 6th and 7th grade, making fun of me is all their favorite past time. This one girl put paper in my hair in the 6th grade and now her and her group of friends jump if I get in 10 feet of them. I HATE them so much. I HATE the school, because I'm better then it. I'm better then have the people their, it doesn't have to do with brains, their just all stupid by nature.

I basically have no friends. Is anyone else in this sitaution or has been in this situation. Also I don't know the first thing on making friend. So if you guys could give me some tips that would be awesome! =]Same deal here! Exactly the same pretty much xDD

Personally I'd say do not even bother with those retards. They're immature brats and you're obviously above their level. Go get involved with other things outside of school, join clubs or take lessons/whatever on things you're interested in, and you'll be with other people with simular interests and mindsets and feel much more comfy talking with.

And also the things you have to do to be "friends" with these people are not what you should to really be a true friend.

Treat others the way you want to be treated, lend a helping hand, listen to their problems, give them advice and support, just be a good person. Its highly likely they will just use and abuse you if you act like that, but that really proves their immaturity if you behave in such a manner that is nice and respectable to them and they are still mean to you and desire to hurt you. Be nice even when they're not. If they aren't killed with kindness and you get that "man I wish I had a crowbar I could smash into their face" thought, don't bother with them. They're insignificant and not worth your time if they refuse to treat you like a fellow human and really don't deserve your friendship. Never be rude to them, but you don't have to help em out or anything.

Also if to be someone's friend you have to do something to hurt someone else DON'T DO IT. Again, they're way too immature.

It may sound that way (I suck at explaining things) but don't act "holier then thou" when dealing with these people, you can be smug in your head. Ignore them and don't let them see that they affect you, and keep being nice. That shows great strength. If they can't get a reaction out of you, it may take a long time, they should eventually back off.

Shamen
11-09-07, 12:40 AM
I've been picked on, called names, kicked, spat at, and a ton of other cruel things that people think is funny.
I have had fake friends through out the 6th and 7th grade, making fun of me is all their favorite past time. This one girl put paper in my hair in the 6th grade and now her and her group of friends jump if I get in 10 feet of them.
Personally I think the parents of some of your school mates are busier getting drunk than in being responsible parents and teaching their kids class, manners, and respect. If my assumptions are right, they will suffer later on in life and it won't be your problem.

QueensU_girl
11-09-07, 01:14 AM
I would work on personal development.

e.g. get some skills or talents that you can bond to other kids with.
Like playing guitar, or soccer or whatever other hobbies.

And it the kids are TOO bad, change schools, or have nothign to do with them.

I'd suggest reading or watching some of Dr. Mel Levine's DVDs about "social cognition" too.

Sometimes ADD/LDers don't know that they have poor social skills. And can improve in this area with coaching.

If they are really awful bullies, get help.

QueensU_girl
11-09-07, 01:15 AM
PS there probably is SOME other wallflower kid who is as lonely and left out as you. Talk to them and make a friend.

zed407
11-17-07, 02:17 AM
PS there probably is SOME other wallflower kid who is as lonely and left out as you. Talk to them and make a friend.

Exactly, I've met a couple of my best friends because they understood how I felt. It's a way a person can benefit from being made out to be an outcast.

Expressions
12-13-07, 02:57 PM
Thanks guys for all the suggestions and comments.

I actually have my own group of friends, that like me for me, and I also have a boyfriend that has ADHD, and Aniexty, so I'm not longer the loner of grade eight, that is for sure. I've matured a lot too, so that might of had to do with it.

I am going to be joining in on a new High School expeirence next year, by going to a magnet school that will have a high learning expeirences and I will have courses such as drama one and graphic design invovled in there, the best part is that I can earn College credit while in my juniour year and seniour year. I think things are looking up for me, and in this way I will be around people that are of my kind and people that are extremely creative.

I would again like to thank you for your replies, I was really touched by all the effort that you'll put into it, and I would really like to instant message and private message you, Arei. So if you ever want to, private message me.

- Kristen

Teedrum
12-14-07, 04:44 AM
[QUOTE=Shamen]Just want to also say, you might think different but there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Some of these people ( they are all known to have ADHD ) have had a real rough time in school and there is nothing wrong with them either and to be honest some of these people we owe big thanks to for what they done for mankind.

Famous people with ADHD...]

did they all have dx?