View Full Version : Did It Again


dawizfan00
08-19-07, 03:12 PM
Hey guys, ive been on my meds for a week tomarrow. Me and my ex lady was talking fine getting along well when i pick up the kids or drop them off. She even told me that if i stayed on my meds regularly continuing after but 6 months we could talk bout getting back togeather. Well i took that and ran with it. I started calling her alot,texting her alot, and messageing her alot on here. And she didnt want to deal with all that right now , since we are apart and need to live our life for 6 months and see what happens. Cause i have done this whole meds thing alot. Well thursday she came to pick up my kids and she wanted to go home and not talk much. well it p*ssed me off major. I started running my mouth and saying ALOT of things i really didnt mean. And just today is the first we have spoke since then. Our conversation wasnt to bad, lil arguing then we both settled down and talked. See she is bipolar also, so that kinda makes it harder for us both. Guys she is my best friend , my everything, how can i control my mouth when we are around each other for that lil time ? I really want her in my life and i know this problem and me not continuing my meds may have ruit my family forever. She takes her meds regularlly, i have alot of respect for her and look up to her for that totally. i just need to get my daily pattern down to take them. Well guys if i bored u im sorry i just needed to get some things off my chest. Any suggestions i will listen PLEASE HELP ME.

justhope
08-19-07, 06:13 PM
DaWiz


I still have problems with it as well. But I can tell you that the meds, after they leveled out has helped a whole lot. i can't remember if you are seeing a therapis or not, that might help.

When you were leveled out before, did it help the anger outbursts?
I rarely do it anymore. Unless I am trigged by a behavior tht has been existing for awhile especially with my other half. Some of that is resentment i have built.
I do the same thing when something hits a nerve, I say the most horrible things.
I have the 'forked" tongue from hades. If I know soemthing about you that I know will get you, that is the first thing that flies out of my mouth.
In my family we call it Severe :foot: syndrome..

I am pretty sure you did it ummm because you got your hopes up, and realized she was sticking to what she said. And you attacked her because, she is not meeting your expectations and probably because you are so ticked off at yourself. So in usual fashion the extreme levels of moods ...cause us to attack those we love the most. Fight or flight reflexs are so over exaggerated with us, never mind if we are both ADD and Bp.

I am fine, if I have an escape route. I think you need to talk to someone, so you can learn how to redirect yourself when you get jolted by those type of situations. There are probalbly some deep seeded reasons you react that way. Probably because you are so upset wiht youself for not being balanced, and the disappoint of always letting yourself and your loved one's down.
It might help. Are there any support groups there where you can go to meetings?

You have to unlearn those bad behaviors, and looking in the mirror and facing your demons is the first step. I c an tell you it gets harder before it gets easier. Once you open the flood gates it's all our war. And when the junk comes to the surface it's hard and it's scary, and we want to put the cork back in the bottle. I would call someone and see about getting in, and the more stable you get the more you will be able to deal with it.

In the meantime. Why don't you give her some space. I know it's hard when you have the empty hole there, but she sounds like she needs some time to get it together herself. And it would show you are working on you, which is probablly what she needs to see the most. I am sure she knows you love her. And she has a unique persepctive of your issue, since she is BP herself. The other side of the coin, which I can identify with in my house ,is we have a tendency to lost patience with people who refuse to take thier meds, when we do ourselves. It builds a wall quickly.

Hang in there DaWiz, I am glad to see you are still on your meds, don't give up before the effects build that level. Don't tell yourself it doesn't matter. This is for you first, so you can repair you, then take care of teh rest.

And on the funny side,
I can recommend DUCT TAPE! I keep a roll handy! :eek:

Sorry...I had to do it. :D

Hope :p

dawizfan00
08-29-07, 03:02 AM
hey sorry its been awhile but i was out of town visiting my parents. Well i go to a physic next wensday. Im glad to be going to see her cause i have alot that i could talk about. well things have still been bout the same for me and my family. I see my kids and have a great time, and their mother and i arent on the best of terms right now. see i will say some off the wall crap that isnt true or whatever just to get at her, and i dont understand why. How can i hurt someone that means so much to me? yesterday she told me she didnt even want to see me again , when i pick the kids up she would go to her room or leave her mom's. And it shouldnt be like that, the kids will pick up on that and wonder.But last night we had a sensible convo, so im not sure whats up for reall. She told me that it would take some time, for her to get unmad at me , and i can accept that, she said we can talk on here and text message right now but when we are on the phone we fight. well i have to run catch the van for work we leave at 325. so have a good day