View Full Version : Problems communicating


ah09087
08-24-07, 02:54 PM
Does anyone else have a heck of a time trying to say what that want or mean? I think I read what I'm going to say in my head but being dyslexic I screw up words all the time and then I say them like I see them.

dormammau2008
08-27-07, 11:57 PM
9087 i have that all the time each day ofve my life so i can realt feel free anytime to chat....we can miss spell toghter there others her on the forums like us...and some very understanding peps here....crazy feet an raddmomo madda juststops just to name a few there some lovey pep who take us for who we are knows what you mean not like our iQ is low or anything ,,,,,hard though hugss an nice to meet you dorm

theobjr
08-28-07, 03:35 PM
I have the problem of not knowing what to say because I'm too busy thinking about what was already said.
I am going to be a teacher and i had a class that was about teaching children with disabilities.
I found out that the name of my disability is Language dysnomia. It involves a deficit in the processing as well as the retrieval of words from wherever they are stored in your brain. It used to cause me to "zone out" a lot when i was younger.
What helped me was to study and experiment with nonverbal communication. It is said that communication is only 10% or less verbal. If you really get into it, you don't have to focus so much on all of the words that someone is saying. You can observe the body position, voice tone, pupil dialation, etc. Even the type of clothing that someone is wearing can tell you a little about the person.
I don't know, it really helps me, because my focus doesn't have to be on one aspect of the conversation. It is okay if you miss bits of the conversation. Sometimes the words just come out and it is just what someone else wants to hear. Not that I'm being dishonest or anything, I just know what to say and when to say it.
WARNING. This doesn't work at all when you are not talking directly to a person. If you just meet someone DO NOT EMAIL THEM. Or, if you absolutely have to, make yourself keep it short. I ruined a potentially great relationship with the cutest girl I have ever seen in my life because my thoughts went haywire when I emailed her.

Imnapl
08-28-07, 04:02 PM
WARNING. This doesn't work at all when you are not talking directly to a person. If you just meet someone DO NOT EMAIL THEM. Or, if you absolutely have to, make yourself keep it short. I ruined a potentially great relationship with the cutest girl I have ever seen in my life because my thoughts went haywire when I emailed her.Theobjr, that is so sad, but great advice.

ah09087
08-29-07, 08:37 PM
That sounds exaclt like me. Alot of things sound like me or I've already been diagnosed with. I'm hoping the things I have are all part of one disorder so I don't have to be labeled with 5 or 6 disabilties. :rolleyes:

School started today. I'm amazed that I made it so far. I can't pay attention and when I do I don't understand which makes it hard for me to take notes. On the chance that I do understand something I rarely write it down because I write slow, I spell everything wrong and my handwriting's a mess. lol. Some of my teachers might let me bring my laptop to school to take notes. Now i just have to convince my mom.

Private school sucks for people who learn differently. Most schools do. Are you guys still in school? How's it going so far?

ah09087
08-30-07, 02:40 AM
Hehe. I had to laugh at myself. I've been on the forum since June and I just realized your name is Dorm not Drom.

ozchris
08-30-07, 03:03 AM
Yep I'm dyslexic too so I know what you mean. Lots of times I'll think I've expressed myself the way I wanted to but then I'll go back on it and realize how many mistakes I've made that can be interpreted in not the way I meant.

Guest1
09-03-07, 10:37 PM
ya i dont make sence people say i talk everything at once is a mess they say i cant get the sentence to make sence

meadd823
09-04-07, 03:30 AM
Does anyone else have a heck of a time trying to say what that want or mean? I think I read what I'm going to say in my head but being dyslexic I screw up words all the time and then I say them like I see them.


My response in original form = how it comes out before any editing.

Soem tims I hav prolbems iwtrh thsi I cna nevr tel fi I haev teh odrers rihgt. I aslo hav prolmebs findng hte rihgt owrds hwen I speek dan I haev to haev a few minetes ot htink fo teh rigt words ot go wiht ym thoghts.


I cna hav problmes structuring scentences and wrods anc com out jumbld evn hwen I spek in pesron. Strang as ti amy sond I hav ben knonw to get up in frot of peole and do a reasonabley good job. . . . I ma otn sur how thet woks ti just does.

In potsng ti taks em a lonng tmie to writ. Although I spead a lot of tmie runing ym pots throg psell ckekers I tsill hav probems fidnig eht rigt pwrds ot convey ym thoghts sa popele wiht uot dytslxia are so pikey abut het odrer of htings pulse I ssoem tims get itred dna fial ot fidn teh rigt owrds ot comuncate ym thuoghts adn tehy teg all ofended dna stuff.

I undrestnad onot evry oen has teh tiem I do ot devoet ot potsig I od os sa ti taekes sevarl times throgh psell chcerkers ot gte hte owrds donw ni a fasion htat is leagble to mots fo teh raedng wolrd. Furstraing thse dam leters relay. Hwy cna't ew jsut sned pictres insaed fo al thsi crpa ayn wya.


eidted vsersion


Some times I have problems with finding the right words myself. I can never tell if I have the words themselves right or the damn order of words is correct when I have to put them all together. I also have problems finding the right words when I speak and I have to have a few minutes to think of the right words to go with my thoughts. It is all part of the dyslexia. Words them selves have little meaning in my mind I do not use them to think. . . .it is too slow. For me words are very cumbersome. I have to translate my thoughts into words. They feel like a foreign language to me especially when I have to write them.


I can have problems structuring sentences and my words do come out jumbled even when I speak in person. Strange as it may sound I have been known to get up in front of people “in prompt o” {unexpectedly} and I can do a reasonably good job speaking in public . . . . I am not sure how that works it just does. {shrug}

In posting it takes me a very long time to write. I spend a lot of time running my post through spell checkers which is why the writing looks semi normal. I still have problems finding the right words to convey my thoughts. Their meanings can vary so much and leaving out words changes the meaning of the entire sentence for most people. I do all this because people with out dyslexia are so picky about the order of these things. I have to go through all sorts of crap so my post “sounds right” Despite all this effort some times my post can still come out all wrong.


Some times I get tired and fail to find the “exact” right words to communicate my thoughts so some times despite all the time it takes me to write my post my thoughts will still come out harsh and people end up getting all offended and stuff any way . . . . . I am like wtf? It’s in English what more do you people want? You people should have to learn to "speak" my way so you can understand what it is like having to use a language form that isn’t natural.

I understand not every one with dyslexia has the time I do to devote to posting. I do a lot of staring at those damn word list the spell checkers offer because I can’t read single words very well I have to insert the one I think is the right one then re-read the entire paragraph to make sure it is what I think it is . . . as you can tell it often takes several times through spell checkers to get the words down in a fashion that is legible to most of the reading world. It is frustrating having to communicate using these damn letters then the accuracy rate sucks any way. Why can’t we just send pictures, sounds and feelings instead of all this bother with writing crap any way.


{The time between the initial unedited post and completion of the final draft was about an hour}

Being ADD like every one else it should be reasonably easy to see why some times I simply post before I find the exact words I need thus they can come out harsher than intended = I am frustrated but it may not necessarily be with the person I am responding to.

Welcome to the world of dyslexia ADD style. . . . . . . .my neurodiverse universe.

The final draft comes when I am listening to that Daft Punk "Beneath the Rubble" the song that starts.

"To day is the day when I hate every thing"

than a bit later

"today's the day I am sick of it all"

I can relate. . . ..

ah09087
09-04-07, 09:27 PM
man an hour!! that was a pretty long post tho. It's cool that you think in pictures. I think with my emotions first. I will get mad or excited before I even know what is going on until my mind desides to let me in on it. lol.

Then like you mead I have to figure out how to put that in writing or in words so I can say it but even before that I have to figure out what evoked that emotion and what the emotion actually is. I'm always like "I GOT IT!!" but i don't know what i got.

My dislecia isn';t quite thaT bad. I don't use a spell checker. I just look and I can usually tell somethings wrong with the word even if I don't know what the problem is.

meadd823
09-05-07, 11:42 PM
man an hour

Not countng wiggle breaks.



My dyslexia isn';t quite that bad. I don't use a spell checker. I just look and I can usually tell somethings wrong with the word even if I don't know what the problem is.


I have a hard time knowing when a word is misspelling unless it is marked, if it is marked then some times I can figure out which letters are switched or missing but that takes even longer = I spend even more time staring at my monitor trying use a combination of crappy phonetics and visual comparisons, By the time I have gone through all this I have forgotten what I was trying to say or I have lost interest in saying it.

I used to have to type up all my responses in Word spell check them with word and if word was clueless I have to drag out my other spell checker that is supposed to memorize my frequent mis-spelling patterns. I have learned through this little device I do not have a mis-spelling pattern. Now I have spell check program what will spell check my post in the forum response box. I still have to use my hand held spell checker when I need to enter a "?" mark instead of a letter plus it does have a phonetic feature. The phonetic feature helps Gary more than it does me{he isn't dyslexic} I am phonetically "retarded" I simply do not "get phonetics" very well at all. For simple words I can guess close enough some times.

I also think typing is easier than writting because I have learned the position and sequence of some words . . . .plus people can actually read the writting when I am done. :o

Oddly enough I read and comprehend extremely well and my reading speed is only slightly slower than my non-dyslexic peers. Information out put is a lot harder than information input but some time even the input gets jumbled. . . .

My dyslexia is considered severe.

meadd823
09-06-07, 01:34 AM
Oh speaking of communication problems . . . . you mean like this post (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=461933&postcount=25)

where I end the thing with

Gary does almost all of our grocery shopping and he always has a lot of ready to eat snakes and fruit juices on hand.

I didn't catch it until I read this response (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=461989&postcount=26) by another member. Even then I didn't understand what was soo funny until I asked Gary who informed me that I got snacks and snakes mixed up again. . . . . spell checkers do not help me much when I spell the wrong word correctly. :o

Imnapl
09-06-07, 07:07 PM
Gary does almost all of our grocery shopping and he always has a lot of ready to eat snakes and fruit juices on hand.I've heard they taste a lot like chicken.

meadd823
09-08-07, 12:11 AM
I've heard they taste a lot like chicken.




:p :p :p

Busyhermit asked me what the difference was between ready to eat snakes and the regular kind.

I told her packaging and of coarse clean up. . . . :D

ah09087
09-10-07, 01:56 AM
When I first read that at first I saw snakes then I blinked and it was snacks and I couldn't figure out what I saw the first time that made it so funny. lol

theobjr
09-11-07, 05:00 PM
[QUOTE=ah09087]man an hour!! that was a pretty long post tho. It's cool that you think in pictures. I think with my emotions first. I will get mad or excited before I even know what is going on until my mind desides to let me in on it. lol.

Then like you mead I have to figure out how to put that in writing or in words so I can say it but even before that I have to figure out what evoked that emotion and what the emotion actually is. I'm always like "I GOT IT!!" but i don't know what i got.
I do the exact same thing. If I email someone, I think I know what I'm saying. then afterwards, when I really think about what i typed or if I see a negative reaction, I know that I was misunderstood.
DO NOT EMAIL PEOPLE THAT YOU HAVEN'T KNOWN FOR A WHILE!!
Being a guy who does this, I actually get along better with women. I can genuinely be platonic friends with a woman no matter how attractive she is. I only want to have a relationship with one woman, but I enjoy having frienships with as many women as possible. The problem is that women generally do not like being just friends with me. I'm single but I only want a certain type of woman to have a relationship with. But I would like to continue to be friends, but I don't know how to do this without sounding like I'm rejecting them.
But I don't think its dyslexia that I have. Like I mentioned earlier, its called dysnomia. I mean I can spell great. I enjoy reading, although if I really have to study or write something I have to re-read, or write it over a few times more than normal.
A good tip when studying is to read a paragraph and write a couple of sentences in your own words in the margin that sums up the paragraph for you. This helps a lot. You don't really have to cram if you do this. You can also go over your notes and rewrite them as soon as possible after a class, and if you have a textbook, add in the missed information from your notes that correspond with the same topic in the textbook.

meadd823
09-16-07, 01:49 AM
Like I mentioned earlier, its called dysnomia. I mean I can spell great. I enjoy reading, although if I really have to study or write something I have to re-read, or write it over a few times more than normal.


Dysnomia (http://www.ldresources.org/?p=634)
A marked difficulty in remembering names or recalling words needed for oral or written language.



My problem is with the words them selves both in writing {getting the stupid letters in order and / or remembering little silly words so some one doesn't take my post wrong} and pronouncing words {in a way others recognize as English can be like pulling teeth out of a chicken.}



When I first read that at first I saw snakes then I blinked and it was snacks and I couldn't figure out what I saw the first time that made it so funny

Hey they look alike to me too. ;) The problem with spell checkers is they do not pick up the wrong word if it is spelled correctly. Naturally that is probably the only time I spell any thing correctly is if it is the wrong word. :o

ah09087
09-16-07, 02:28 AM
Haha. No worries mead. Spelling is overrated.:D

theobjr
10-01-07, 05:15 PM
I agree that spelling is overrated. I wish that I could trade my ability to spell for an ability to organize-thoughts,etc.

meadd823
10-02-07, 10:42 AM
I wish that I could trade my ability to spell for an ability to organize-thoughts,etc.

My thought do not come out very organized either Although they begin that way inside my head getting them to the out side is a completely different story.

What the dyslexia doesn't scramble beyond recognition the ADD causes me to forget. I do not think in words which makes writing {some times even speaking} closer to translating. I think in just about every thing but words - I use mostly pictures, sound and feelings.

ah09087
12-31-07, 12:15 AM
What the dyslexia doesn't scramble beyond recognition the ADD causes me to forget. I do not think in words which makes writing {some times even speaking} closer to translating. I think in just about every thing but words - I use mostly pictures, sound and feelings.

OMG:eek: I've been trying to figure out a way to say that. Like when I read, even if I can settle down for long enough to pick up the book I can't read it. Or when I have a good reading day or decide to struggle through it I'll find a typo or a funny word or something and there went my reading! I wish my ADHD would settle down and allow me to remember my thoughts well enough to voice them the way they appear in my head which is, like Meadd, sounds pictures and feelings. And colors strangely.

Imnapl
12-31-07, 08:59 PM
Dysnomia (http://www.ldresources.org/?p=634)
A marked difficulty in remembering names or recalling words needed for oral or written language.No kidding? There's a name for it? Medication helps me slow down and remember words needed for oral or written language, but names have always been really difficult for me.